Just happened today lmfao. I walk into the bathroom and sit down on the toilet. I start thinking of this chick....and start beating on my meat a few minutes pass and I start to get harder and speed up a little. I left the bathroom door cracked open a little. The cat sneaks in into the bathroom and I'm still going at it. The cat jumps and lands right on the sink and lets out a loud meow that was sort of distorted. I screamed "fuck!" and looked toward the door. Once I saw it was the cat I was 1) relieved it wasn't anyone like my dad and 2)fucking pissed at the cat! so I stand up while my pants are down at my ankles with steel hard on and grab the cat and place him outside the bathroom. I then hear "What the fuck is this shit?" and I put it all away and walk back into my room. My dad is looking at my pc and I was wondering "shit did I leave porn on?" and he is like..."Whatever....the internet is acting up just so you know" I was like "Thank god" and returned to the bathroom to finish the job.

That fucking cat scared the shit out of me.

At 7/7/08 08:12 PM, fire-weasel wrote: Sexy stuff

That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard... Um... This thread is a bit too personal for my taste.

so their i was. on my computer. no one was home but my dad. although he was in the other room. i broght up some pron and stared my thing.
then the phone.
i pull um up exit out of the site and answer.
all of a sudden my dad walks in. im still on the phone. he walks over to the computer, i turn around, and their it was...
A MUTHAFUCKA POP-UP for pron.
it sucked
i thought i was in the clear.
god i hate that shit

At 7/7/08 08:30 PM, repeermirg wrote: Other sexy stuff

It would've been funnier if there was no popup, but your thing was still hanging out like you were turned on by the phone.

I js cme in mi iyes oh gd i cnt c sht

When I decided to watch some porn in my moms office, that was the most stupid fucking idea I have ever thought of. of course, I was younger when I did this, but not by much. So my mom comes in, and needs to use the computer. I have to exit out of the porn, but the only way to do so was to open up the porn, and exit out. So I did it as fast as fucking possible. So mom doesn't say anything, I walk out relieved, but before you know it, she says, "...what was that?" and I say "oh, it's just a darts game" I told myself I would never look at porn again...but, after about a day, I decided I was insane for saying such a thing.

Remember kids, don't be a dumbfuck like me. Don't look at porn in your moms office.

well there was this 1 time where i was watching some hentai...but i didnt feel like cuming with everybody home so i just started to rub my dick in my pants..when i hear footsteps so i close the site but im still rubbing...she walks in and shes like wtf are u doing?! i was like MOM omg my balls are itchy as hell...so she says u probably got crabes i said probably and she hands me 2 pairs of shorts..it was a close call....and some of these replies made me lmao

At 7/7/08 08:54 PM, Khawner wrote:

Remember kids, don't be a dumbfuck like me. Don't look at porn in your moms office.

Thank you for blessing up with this jewel of common sense.

I went to watch Bible Black, some hentai game/movie if you don't know, and my mom and cousins had left the house, leaving me safe. So, I started the film and, honestly, I was having a good time until I heard my front door open and my cousin began to run up the stairs with speed. I quickly clicked the X on the window when he arrived in the upstairs hallway, right next to my room. If I was a second late he would have yelled to my mom what I was doing and then bad things would have happened if I tried to explain they're just drawings with horrible voice-over dubs.

for about a 2 months every time I finished the job, I would get a massive headache, and feel all stuffy... eventually the headaches went away but it sucked

At 7/7/08 10:04 PM, mranarchy wrote: This topic having 17 pages represents the BBS in all its glory.

I'm pretty sure the "Memoirs of a McDonald's Employee" thread from awhile back was the best representation of the BBS

At 7/7/08 07:17 PM, Extremewookie wrote:

At 7/7/08 07:14 PM, Rapmaw wrote: HA!!!!
Fucking DUMBASS!!!!
I can't believe you actually thought you ruined your dick!!
But nah, I'm just makin' up stuff because I don't have anything better to do.

That was a terrible first post. You should be ashamed.

No, seriously, I had nothing better to do than to make a terrible first post. You know, a shit one. I din't mean that, I was just bored. And yes, Rapmaw is one of my accounts.

At 10/10/07 09:23 PM, haveabadday5 wrote:

At 2/14/07 09:43 PM, 5hoot wrote: What was the scarriest thing that ever happened while you were jerking off. As in getting caught. Or changing a babys diaper while jerking off.

one time i was beatin my meat and this nasty white stuff came out. it looked like rotten milk,, so ithout i'd taste it. it was wooooooonderful.

Nasty white stuff?!?! DUDE, YOU DRANK YOUR FUCKING CUM!!!!! Rotten milk does not come from dicks, btw.

At 6/13/08 12:42 PM, agustana wrote: My dad asked me what I was doing.

I felt so ashamed of myself.

Hawt.

I haven't been caught yet. But I used to have sock that I used over and over to clean the mess. Right when I was about to release i grabbed for the sock and someone CLEANED it and put it back in between my bed. Total fucking mood killer.

I know it was my mom. I haven't said anything to her about it for almost half a year. But it was awkward as hell for a month or two being around her.

I've been using tissues ever since.

once my sister walked in and i was under the covers. but my pants and boxers werent

awkard moment passes...

OMG, i had one of the scariest experiences to getting caught. I was like shitting myself when it was over. But here is what happened, i was on my laptop lying on my brothers bed watching some porn, there was nobody in the house so i thought ok there is nothing to worry about. But just as im about to blow i hear my brother come through the door and i was so scared that i was not concentrating on where i shot. It got all over my brothers bed and there were huge marks all over the bed and im thinking " oh shit this is it, the day im caught wanking" so i quickly pulled my pants up put the laptop away and just sit down normally, when my brother came up he walks over to his bed and chucks a packet of crips on there. Which covered up the stains. We just started talking but in my head i was like " oh fuck just leave". So after about five mins of talking he finally leaves, and i was so happy that he did not see the stains. So i had to get to work and change the sheets and wash of the stains. That was one scary day for me and ill never forget that.

OMG these are some funny stories!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

At 2/14/07 09:48 PM, Soldjah wrote: Today actually. I was doing my thing, and my Mom comes in to tell me something, pants were completely off. I was really into it. Didn't even notice she was there; until she cleared her throat. She told me to call me work to see what time I was working. She just acted like nothing happened. Awkwardness proceeded on the drive to work.

What the fuck is she blind? Or did you squirt her in the eye or something?

It was like eleven a clock and i was "busy" And the doorbell rings i look out the window and the police was there damm i was in shock

I almost got poop on another part of my body while jerking. I usually try keeping it my pube area.

I was watching some stuff, then went on NG for a half an hour. Then my brother came home, so I went downstairs and watched tv. Suddenly he yells from the top of the stairs...

"Tyler I need to use your computer for a second, mine is lagging up."

My eyes widened. H ewas on it for an hour. I kept thinking to myself, wondering if I had cleared my history before or after I was watching the porn. I started to get nervous. I pretended to sleep on the couch so if he had found the porn sites he hopefully wouldn't wake me up. After a few minutes he came downstairs and said he had to go out. He closed the front door and I rushed to see if I cleared my history. I did not.

My heart sank. I then noticed something funny. The sites were exactly in order. By google, to youtube, to the porn site, to newgrounds. I smiled and was relieved. He went on Internet Explorer instead of Mozilla Firefox.

This was just ten minutes ago.

fapping away in my room.. made a bit of a mess, but oh no, i forgot to get tissues

so i approach my door on my way to the bathroom, with my penis half out of my jeans, when my mum bursts in!!

i tuck it in really fast and try to hide the mess on my hand, while i wait patiently for her to move out of the way of the door

the mess got everywhere, and i hope i remembered to close the porn

the story are back :D. also i think that one who brought it back will be banned :D

At 8/8/08 07:24 PM, alex-shelley wrote:

:i inserted the dildo into my ass and started beating my meat

then the door opened
but it was only my cat
so i yelled "get the fuck out of here"
and threw the toothpaste at her
then my sister comes into the bathroom
and asked who the fuck i was yelling at
when she saw me with a raging boner and her dildo in my ass

this was the worst moment in my life
i still have nightmares

Your gay :|

At 8/8/08 07:32 PM, kidd25 wrote: the story are back :D. also i think that one who brought it back will be banned :D

why?

it wasn't soft-locked or something was it?

At 8/21/07 09:29 PM, cUmOrAhKiD wrote: I was masturbating and my sister's friend walked in, she then said how about i finish masturbating for you. Needless to say i was like sure, her and i now enjoy masturbating eachother twice a week.

lucky.

At 8/8/08 07:35 PM, Dezimo wrote:

At 8/8/08 07:32 PM, kidd25 wrote: the story are back :D. also i think that one who brought it back will be banned :D

why?

it wasn't soft-locked or something was it?

no put something are best to be left in the past casue you could get banned and also. if your meat needs wacking geta house you dumsacker!

At 8/23/07 08:28 AM, one-two-conspiracy wrote:

At 8/21/07 10:24 PM, IndyKid500 wrote: Once I had been using liquid soap as lube for a while, so I got pretty dry until one time a little thread of skin connecting the head and the shaft broke.

I thought I had broken my penis.

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, you mean there is supposed to be a strand of skin connecting from the back of the head to the "Walls?" Oh, thank god, I thought I had a mutant penis.