ok, so i have a few that i think blow some of ur guys out of the fucking water
1. first time being caught. my moms room was the only room upstairs that had a tv and VCR, so im wankin it in MY MOMS ROOM when she busts in with me holding on to my lotion covered cock with both hands. im pretty sure i heard her laughing down the hall.(my mom is cool about that shit)
2. I was sleeping over at my friends house, and i secretly hated the kid, but i went over there to play his computer and his 64. so were in his room looking at porn, and he wants me to beat off at the same time as him. im like, fuck u faggot. then he tries to tell me to suck him off. i punch him in the face, i tell EVERYONE at school the next day, and we never spoke again.
3. okay, not really a masturbation experience, but still fuckin hilarious. sophmore year in hs, me and two of my friends are chillin out at my house. we want to smoke some pot (not first time) and i know my mom smokes. shes not home, so we start goin through her shit, and one of my friends finds a fuckin 12 inch red dildo that spins and shit.ROFL he starts chasing us through the house with it. eventually he SNIFFS and LICKS it. wow, i almost puked
now bask in the scariness of this shit. all of this shit is true