At 2/7/08 09:54 PM, KillerMoose23 wrote: After that i couldn't fap.

Standard, but good.

I got caught by my parents when I was jacking off and reading Jugs.

I was scratching my head under my blanket while watching tv, My mum thought I was masturbating.

Ohh i got caught jacking off on this site two years ago. Although I was old enough that it wasn't a shock.

Some of these are so funny!

I was "doing the deed" at, like, 1:00 am and I hear something. I am on my bed beating it when all of a sudden the door opens. I am too shocked to move. But the shock somehow caused me to cum. Cum in the direction of the door. Luckily it was just my stupid-ass cat. But to my dismay the cum went straight to my cat's face. It was so fucking funny but I couldn't laugh. I also took a picture of my cumshot-faced cat on my old phone.

No I can't post the picture because I have a new phone.

One time my friend was looking through the window as i slapped off to katie morgan and sex toys.

One time i was doin it in the shower and id been in there for a while and my dumbass dog somehow opened the door and it scared the shit out of me and i ripped the cord thing and it was all bleeding and that.since it was my dog i didn't get caught but i was walking around very uncomfortably for 3 weeks!
ouchy

At 2/4/08 06:20 AM, Xmanne wrote: I can never get caught for these reasons :
I don't watch, I imagine.
I rub, not jerk.
I don't take my pants off.

Perfect. Exactly how to not get caught.

So...I was doing my thing to pictures of my girlfriend i had put on my computer (They weren't dirty or whatever, just sexy) and she walks in.
It's awkward enough when it's your mom who sees you doing it to just porn pics.
It's REALLY awkward when it's your girlfriend who sees you doing it to pictures of her in a swimsuit.

my dad came in LITTERALLY 3 mins after i was done. I almost had a heart attack at such a near miss.

why do ppl do it in places like in their room cause jesus how obvious would it be!
and secondly:
on the school camp last year everyone had like bunks and stuff and (PS. this isnt about me) there was about 8 ppl in each room and our group only had 6 ppl so we had to have 2 really weird kids in our group.I was in a bunk above one of them and i hear some whispering and i looked at michaels bed (one of the weird ppl) and it was empty and then the bed started shaking and i was thinking Oh god are they...and i peeked over in the dim light and i saw both of the weird ppl sitting on the bed and my weight combined with their wobling caused the bed to tip over it hit another one so it didnt go down all the way.i went flying off and landed in the middle of the room and i got up and everyones like What was that sound? and i turned the light on and they were sitting inbeetween the beds of a bunk on a 45 degree angle with no pants on.
it was really gross and my friend darcy who was on the bunk my bunk had hit and he had a good veiw of this so he got his camera which was on the ground (and now that i think about it i dont know how he reached it from his bunk)
And he took like 5 fotos and a 30 second mocie of them trying to get their pants on.
he wasnt doing it so he could like look at it.
he was doing it to embarress them.
Because by now the teacher who was staying in our building and half of the kids had gotten out of their beds to see what this racket was.
And darcy showed everyone the video and the pictures
Michael and kiah(the other weird one) were scared for life.
It was pretty scary for me too.
And also gay ppl are gross and ppl who do it when there is no-one anywhere near them are better of than the ones who do it in their rooms while ppl are home.
BANANA!!!!
and also *bump*

This is just stupid
I got to a link where i allways go to watch porn movies
but then i saw it
the worlds most perfects ass
it turned me on so much i had to click it
it took me to a site called porntube or something like that
i had to instal a plug in in order to watch the movie
I knew 150% it was a virus but man that ass was nice so i said my self
"I know i will get a virus but at least i'll see the ass in action"
since then my computers works twice slower and when i tryed to open the movie it gave me an error
I was at least expecing to be the real plug-in with the virus atached but it only was the god damn virus =((
You can imagine i didn't jerked all day long that day :((

At 8/21/07 09:40 PM, Hellian00 wrote: Hmm...

One night, I went into my room and opened up my pron.

I then proceded to begin fapping. I was about to blow my l
oad when mom says "Dinner time". In shock, I let it all spill.
My door was locked, and I had cum allover my bed/pants.
I said to her "Just a sec". And she yelled "open the door".
diddn't and then my dad kicks it open(destroying the doorframe)..

why the hell would he kick open the door?!?

finishing off just as my dad walks into the house. Luckily i had time to put it all away and hide the evidence. He then walks in whilst im casually watching the simpsons and then ses "jake what the fuck have you been doing?" and by this time im thinking shit he thins i just wanked over the simpsons think! think! think!..so then i just say id just been doing some situps and was taking a rest and then he gave me a big talk on hoqw to use eodrant after and to wash regulary just because i stank of wank sweat. (he didnt know id been wanking he thought i was just not clean) SO yeah my fucking dad was lecturing me on how to wash proprerl and shit when i was 15 fucking vile briggand. ps. longest post ive done so far

ok, so i have a few that i think blow some of ur guys out of the fucking water

1. first time being caught. my moms room was the only room upstairs that had a tv and VCR, so im wankin it in MY MOMS ROOM when she busts in with me holding on to my lotion covered cock with both hands. im pretty sure i heard her laughing down the hall.(my mom is cool about that shit)

2. I was sleeping over at my friends house, and i secretly hated the kid, but i went over there to play his computer and his 64. so were in his room looking at porn, and he wants me to beat off at the same time as him. im like, fuck u faggot. then he tries to tell me to suck him off. i punch him in the face, i tell EVERYONE at school the next day, and we never spoke again.

3. okay, not really a masturbation experience, but still fuckin hilarious. sophmore year in hs, me and two of my friends are chillin out at my house. we want to smoke some pot (not first time) and i know my mom smokes. shes not home, so we start goin through her shit, and one of my friends finds a fuckin 12 inch red dildo that spins and shit.ROFL he starts chasing us through the house with it. eventually he SNIFFS and LICKS it. wow, i almost puked

now bask in the scariness of this shit. all of this shit is true

lol i never got caught :P

Ugh, I've posted in this thread before, but a moment happened today when my room mate walked in on me beating meat. I wasn't pants down, but I couldn't close all of the porn in time. I didn't lie about it, I told the truth. I wasn't embarrassed either, because I hate him, but it makes for a good story nonetheless.

i got caught faping by a retarded kid once

Tag.

i have no other moments but...*BUMP*
hey and the only reason im doing this is to keep the thread alive so i can laugh at your incompetence

Quietly masturbating in public, then running up to an unsuspecting victim (Minor or elderly woman) and shooting the hot stuff in a screaming panicky orgasm.

At 4/14/08 08:05 PM, whatty wrote: Quietly masturbating in public, then running up to an unsuspecting victim (Minor or elderly woman) and shooting the hot stuff in a screaming panicky orgasm.

This thread is fun im gonna make it go to page fourteen with my fapping powers!!
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fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap yay p14

I once slipped in the shower and everyone in the house heard.........

At 2/7/08 01:07 AM, IITomkatII wrote: its hard to aim and i didnt think about where i was going to before i started so i shot out the window and its so happens that there was a cop behind us and it hit his windsheild.. because the and he asks did anyone throw something out the window? because some liquid hit his window and it appeared to come from our car, i was sweating balls in the back seat and

LOL!!! The police would arrest you for raping a police car :3

nice cumshot btw,

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fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap

You staring at the semen.

One day the semen king will come back from the dead to kill all those who have killed his brothers.

Aw,I couldn't make it :(,stupid word limit.

At 4/13/08 04:49 AM, BasketCase12 wrote: It's REALLY awkward when it's your girlfriend who sees you doing it to pictures of her in a swimsuit.

It's even more awkward if you're girlfriend catches you beating off to pictures of an ex-gf. lol.

One time I was fapping and I saw a picture of Samuel L. Jackson. I SHAT MY PANTS OFF.

At 4/17/08 01:41 AM, The-Dave wrote:

At 4/13/08 04:49 AM, BasketCase12 wrote: It's REALLY awkward when it's your girlfriend who sees you doing it to pictures of her in a swimsuit.

It's even more awkward if you're girlfriend catches you beating off to pictures of an ex-gf. lol.

Yep.
Even scarier if she helps out afterwards.