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This is a story my friend told me.

Ok, Well his dad is a teacher at our school, and one day he got bored having to stay after school. So he decided that "Well there is an empty teachers lounge, I'll just go in there and beat it." So he went in and started, he was about done and the janitor walked in, turned around and walked directly back out. The janitor told his dad that he was masterbating in the teachers lounge. They had a long awkward talk after that.

That janitor knows he use to whack off in the teachers lounge too, theres no need to report a minor incident such as that. He has no idea how hellish it is to talk about sex with a family member.

At 10/13/07 05:08 PM, kindmortal wrote:

At 10/13/07 01:23 PM, 1Ghost2 wrote:

No but it's never happend to me. I'm the fap master.

if you are the fap master, i challenge you to a fap-off!

One time...

I was jacking off in my bathroom and i got really into it so my head fell backwards and I didn't see my dog coming around the corner. She ran up and bit my dick! Almost just the head, I flipped. She let go and started licking it, then she deep throated that shit. I turned her around and started fucking the shit out of her, literally. There was shit EVERYWHERE! After a while I realized she was in heat and my dick was covered in blood, so i pulled out and wrote on the walls with it like some kind of bloody, bestiality Pen and Ink. I could see my dog couldnt take it anymore, she wanted my cum. So she started sucking me off again. I came.

Now that was scary...

I was wanking, and the computer is just infront of my glass slidey-doors. So i am just about to orgasm, and my sister walks in.

"I just remembered, i forgot my ke-..." She stopped, and walked back outside, got in the car and drove off.

All the while i sit there, dick in hand, lesbian porn on the PC, speakers blaring with rock music and lesvians moaning, and a "WTF" look on my face.

Mom akwardly standing there as i had my junk out largely sticking straight up in the air like a log, as i was spitting on it she proceeded to (she has really bad eyesight) stare to see what i was doing untill i noticed she was there...what could i do? i had nothing to throw on. nothing to cover up with. just my spit soaked dick in my hand...also once i shot it so hard it went straight in my eye, that never feels good.

At 12/1/07 01:33 AM, kingkillah wrote: But why do you need porn when you've got a girlfriend?

You need it especially if your girlfriend is prude, trust me.

once i did it in the computerroom (before I got a laptop) and suddenly i hear somebody come up the stairs. And I am thinking: Holy shit! I quickly turn of the porn but i can't get my pants on. so I grab a carpet and wrap it around me.
up the stairs come my mom, my dad and my little brother. my heart is pumping as my little brother comes over to me and says: why do you have a carpet over you. i answer: I'm freezing. It was fucking summer!!!
after sitting there at least half an hour I try and put my pants on. luckily everything turned out fine.

So I was checking out this porn site, when my mum comes into the room. I was like 'shit!', I clicked the X but she saw and went, 'what was that? get that back up!' I said 'That was just a pop-up'. I got away with it, but I bet my mum expected something.

Well, here goes.

My sister and me had a fight. I went into my parents room. I suddenly got very randy. So I changed the channel on their t.v. to the playboy channel (my dad's, haha.) So this dude is giving this chick hard anal, and my sister peeks through the window. the blanket was over it, and I was not even close to climax. She came running in. She then blackmailed me for a week until I broke down and said she could tell. My parents and my sister had a talk. A short one. They just said 'What, Rachel, you've never "double clicked your mouse?" ' (my dad is a big computer guy) She just stared in awe.

Also, I've caught my dad masturbating on 2 occasions. Terrifying. I have never seen his shit, because it is always in a shadow. The first time was him watching adult on demand with DVR and the second time was to computer porn. I have caught him watching porn, but not fapping at least 30 times. He thinks I don't know anything about it, like I never really catch him. Haha.

Me and my girlfreind were hanging out at my house then her hands start going downwards...... she starts to give me a hand job as I start to finger her she got loud and my neighbor heard and saw us he just looked and laughed and went back inside and we both started laughing! And then the session continued!

At 8/21/07 09:38 PM, Raguel wrote:

At 2/14/07 09:43 PM, 5hoot wrote: Or changing a babys diaper while jerking off.

I can't believe that nobody commented on this :O

That's cause it's normal.

Anyways, I was jerking it and my dog walked in and licked my elbow right when I came. I almost threw up.

I barely masterbate anymore :/

At 10/29/07 11:01 PM, Laughingbox wrote: My Story:

I was looking at some XXX vids when my mom comes up and says "What are you doing" Then I minimized it and said "playing line rider" But the title was "TEEN FUCK FEST" She said nothing.

Seriously brought tears to my eyes XD

Never been caught and I hope it stays that way.

this wasnt a story on masturbation but i sad sex story involving me

so i get invited to this party, and it will actually be a huge orgy with lots of chicks. so i ask my mom if i can go to the party (she didnt know it was actually an orgy) and she said no. all my friends said it was the best night ever...

At 1/29/08 11:40 PM, beanieclock wrote: this wasnt a story on masturbation but i sad sex story involving me

so i get invited to this party, and it will actually be a huge orgy with lots of chicks. so i ask my mom if i can go to the party (she didnt know it was actually an orgy) and she said no. all my friends said it was the best night ever...

Age : 25 ??

i lived with my girlfriend for a wile and she was out shopping i knew she wouldnt be home for a wile i decided to jack off to some porn then like 3 minutes in her and her friends come in while im jacking it and the computer to my house is next to the computer so i jumped hit the wall hard and her and her friends saw my 91/2 incher so it startest whith just jerking off but it ended with a REALLY! happy ending ;)

Ok, so I was over a friends house, and he was asleep upstairs, and I decided to fap. So, I open up this picture of jessica alba. It starts to load, and there I am, sitting in the chair, pants down by my ankles, sweating. I start fapping, and right when it was about to load her "Sleeve of Wizard" no joke, the lady from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air comes on, and says, " Your moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I swear. I jumped, and then started laughing my ass off.

At 9/15/07 09:44 PM, Lantay77 wrote: I got one.

She grabbed the cat, and saw a lump under my sheets ,and she grabbed it and saw that it was my PSP.

Dude I thought you were going to say she grabbed something else!

no good stories

I'm to secretive when I'm busy

the fact that you jerk off with everyone still at the house!
you could get caught!

well the worst that happened was when my friend was over. he saw my search history. there was a bunch of NEWGROUNDS HENTAI. after teasing me about it, i saw the lump in his pants. i immediately asked him if he was homosexual. he said yes and before i knew what was happening we were having a 69. little did i know my mom was filming, and she put it on youtube. a few days later some mexican guy calls, offering us a job making gay pornos. we both agreed. after several years of working on pornos together, he dies of AIDS. COREY THUR I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU

well.... (something about Kim Possible hentai and dad catching me and did his enlighten thing and then tasers sued me for having dad in my house)

At 1/30/08 07:00 PM, gopherlover wrote: we were having a 69

At the risk of sounding thick, what the fuck is a 69?

69=Gay sex position.
*DISCLAIMER: I only know this because of Wikipeida. I'm not gay.*
Two men lay in the position of, hence the name, a 6 and a 9 so they can suck eachother's dicks at the same time.

Hmm...the scariest moment? Umm...this one time I was jerkin' it to this really good video and all of a sudden I hear the doorknob creak on my door and I freaked out so I quit and everything. Got all dressed and opened the door. There was no one out there so I just went back to doing it. All of a sudden my 3 friends come barging into my room screaming "OH MY GOD YOU FUCKIN' LOSER, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Safe to say I am still dealing with that.

my scariest moment would have to be when i was in my room about 1 year ago, i was smacking off then my uncle walked into my room. I ran in the closet and smacked my cock on the closet door, i thought i had broke it i was almost crying. And my voice got really high pitch then he started walking toward me, and then i yelled at him i was changing but my voice was to high pitched to make any sence of what i said so i ripped down all my clothes and covered myself. And closed the closet door then he finaly left i almost had a heart attack and almost broke ma cack:)

its not scary to masturbate when you ahve your gf to masturbate for you or if your in college and have no camera sin your room

At 1/30/08 08:22 PM, VhsTapeclock wrote: 69=Gay sex position.
*DISCLAIMER: I only know this because of Wikipeida. I'm not gay.*
Two men lay in the position of, hence the name, a 6 and a 9 so they can suck eachother's dicks at the same time.

It's not a gay sex position it can be done with two guys, two girls, or a girl and a guy.

I was watching one of those movies that have a long, disguised entrance. Little did I know that my brother was hiding under the bed. He crawled out and yelled "WHAT ARE YOU WATCHIN'?!?!?!?"

Of course, it just looked like two people were hugging, so I explained that Youtube has some very weird videos, and you don't know what they'll be like til you watch them. He was satified with my answer.

I proceded to masturbate afterwards.