Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

um i was homealone.
but the front door was unlocked.
so i was looking on porn and listneing too chromeo.
i was jerking of to a shit load of porn up on the comp.
right when i was about to nut all over my moms friend walked in.
she came in at the perfect time to see me nut all over >.<
she was like OMG!! what the fuck are you doing??!!!

my music was blaring and everything....it was juts stressful.

When i was 12 i got my balls chopped off because i was masterbating.

Oh, I got a good one. It didn't happen to me, but I was involved so I guess that counts(?).

It was during the summer, maybe around 2 A.M. I realized that I needed my brother's help with one of my games, so I just kind of ran into his room and what I saw shocked me. I caught my brother with his hand down his pants and he still didn't close the window. Usually I just go in and walk right up to his computer before I say a thing. I just looked at the computer, as I usually do whenever I talk to him, and I see lesbian porn. My first thought was.......awkward. After a good 5 seconds that seemed like a minute I decided to start off the conversation with a "Soooooo......You forgot to close the window......." and he just says "I know. Can I help you?". Needless to say, that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. And now I always knock.....

At 10/5/07 09:21 PM, MasterCheifClock wrote: I once got caught by my best friend. (who is a girl) She thought it was a turn off and she said my dick was small.

Owned. End Of Story.

my brother hiding in the room as I typed in the website but still told him it was a pop up

At 10/5/07 12:51 PM, Tramps wrote:

At 10/5/07 12:03 PM, 2good2b4goten wrote: Masturbating.

I've heard that story before, so I question the legitimacy.

Yeah. I wrote it.

My mom just now walked in while I was reading these stories. I wasn't doing it, but if she realized what it was I was reading.......

At 2/14/07 09:43 PM, 5hoot wrote: What was the scarriest thing that ever happened while you were jerking off. As in getting caught. Or changing a babys diaper while jerking off.

one time i was beatin my meat and this nasty white stuff came out. it looked like rotten milk,, so ithout i'd taste it. it was wooooooonderful.

my cousin waz over spending the night his covers were going up and down i looked at him then i started it waz really awkward

Having your wife walk in on you while jerking it to Hentai is funny.

Free handjob/blowjob count +1

I walked in on my brother's girlfriend's 58 year old heavy-set mother... with a foot long hand dildo. GAH. Bad times.

So i was fapping to some youporn (I don't download files cause my parents are lazy to give everyone of my sibs a laptop cept for me so I use the one that everyone can use) and I hear my dad open his door (our computer is in our family room which has no door and has the hallway that connects all the rooms) just as i cumed (or however the hell you spell it) and I got cum all over the frickin keyboard. luckly(thank you god!) he was just checking up on my sis to tell her to make dinner so he went the towards my sisters room which is across from his and not towards the family room. I cleaned it all up so it's like i never did it.

one day, a pen exploded in my pocket so i had ink all over my hands, and later i was fapping, and i looked down and my penis was all black from the ink and i was like.....idk i made a loud noise in shock and so my bro comes running to my room and im like this pop up scared the shit outta me, ya no, trying to play it cool, its a good thing he didnt notice my penis which was now black. probably because i was waering black pants.

Ew. Ink-covered-cock.
D:

I was round the corner from a fit girl, fapped it a few times till i was nearly there. Then i ran up to her and sprayed it in her face. She died later from aids.

well i thought i was home alone so i was walking around naked i go to my movie theater and im looking for my dads porn so i find some good stuff put it on th projecter and have it full blast. well the maid upstairs hears it and comes down i turn around and spray all over her. she told my parents and i was ground for 3 months.

At 10/5/07 09:21 PM, MasterCheifClock wrote: I once got caught by my best friend. (who is a girl) She thought it was a turn off and she said my dick was small.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ouch

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/7931 66

mom caught me look at some hot chick i started to masturbate then i had to close it and she almost talk
about what i did that was imbaressing.

At 2/14/07 09:48 PM, Soldjah wrote: Awkwardness proceeded on the drive to work.

Atleast she was cool about the whole thing.
From the sound if it she must be a young mother or just understanding of everything.

I was jacking off in the bathroom, and my best friend (who is a girl) walks in. I made her swear that she wouldn't tell a soul. We skipped the handshake. She generally stayed away from me after that.

one time i skeeted on my shoe but i didnt know until later, im glad no one said anything

So, I was fapping, you know, the usual... nothing out of the normal, but my mozzila stopped working, so I had to go on IE.. anyways, it was a while ago, on newgrounds, fapping to some quiz, when a fucking pop up of some scary ass looking face comes out of nowhere, and it was like, two in the morning, and fuck.. i almost crapped my pants.

Also, I jizzed so hard one time, it hit my shoulder lol.

At 8/21/07 10:24 PM, IndyKid500 wrote: Once I had been using liquid soap as lube for a while, so I got pretty dry until one time a little thread of skin connecting the head and the shaft broke.

I thought I had broken my penis.

I think that happens after screwing/ jerking it for a while. It happened to me.

Lol when i was watching some porn and the thing froze

At 10/5/07 09:21 PM, MasterCheifClock wrote: I once got caught by my best friend. (who is a girl) She thought it was a turn off and she said my dick was small.

Wow, that must've sucked.

one time i was fapping and my grandma walked in and said "My have you grown!" and walked out

Well, first off, I have a computer in my own room, which is really lucky, when you think about the poor souls that have to fap in a family room.

Anyways, my room connects a hallway to our kitchen. Yeah. Lots of traffic.

That's the downside.

So I've fapped, and I've fapped, and I've fapped some more.

I never lock my doors. It's highly trafficked, my room, and if someone tries to open one of the doors but they can't, they'll immediately be suspicious.

Even with the door shut, they'll be suspicious. Paranoid parents.

So yeah, I either fap with the doors wide open, or I don't fap at all.

Of course, I do it at insanely late hours, to not get caught.

Anyways, I've found myself fapping, really in-the-moment, where both my mom AND my dad have just walked straight through my room, didn't even notice.

Funny part? On the way to the door that they're walking to, my computer is FACING them. They don't have to turn their heads to see what I'm doing when they walk through, it's right there, in front of them.

The way I see it, they're fucking blind.

It's not that they notice and don't care, otherwise they wouldn't freak when I lock my doors or anything like that.

so yeah, I've had scary moments happen a LOT.

lucky if my dad cuaght me he would be proud

Me and my friends where once sleeping together and fapped to all my pr0n on my computer (about 5gb), when i thought it could be fun to try with a condom on. Then i took one on and fapped. When i had done what i did, i took it off and threw it out of my window. ( I live on 2nd floor) Next day does my mom tell me and my friends to go down and pick it up!

Believe me. To go down and pick up a filled condom on the street, and know that 20 people are looking at you, and your mom knows it too.

I never found out how she knew it.