My mom just now walked in while I was reading these stories. I wasn't doing it, but if she realized what it was I was reading.......

At 2/14/07 09:43 PM, 5hoot wrote: What was the scarriest thing that ever happened while you were jerking off. As in getting caught. Or changing a babys diaper while jerking off.

one time i was beatin my meat and this nasty white stuff came out. it looked like rotten milk,, so ithout i'd taste it. it was wooooooonderful.

my cousin waz over spending the night his covers were going up and down i looked at him then i started it waz really awkward

Having your wife walk in on you while jerking it to Hentai is funny.

Free handjob/blowjob count +1

I walked in on my brother's girlfriend's 58 year old heavy-set mother... with a foot long hand dildo. GAH. Bad times.

So i was fapping to some youporn (I don't download files cause my parents are lazy to give everyone of my sibs a laptop cept for me so I use the one that everyone can use) and I hear my dad open his door (our computer is in our family room which has no door and has the hallway that connects all the rooms) just as i cumed (or however the hell you spell it) and I got cum all over the frickin keyboard. luckly(thank you god!) he was just checking up on my sis to tell her to make dinner so he went the towards my sisters room which is across from his and not towards the family room. I cleaned it all up so it's like i never did it.

one day, a pen exploded in my pocket so i had ink all over my hands, and later i was fapping, and i looked down and my penis was all black from the ink and i was like.....idk i made a loud noise in shock and so my bro comes running to my room and im like this pop up scared the shit outta me, ya no, trying to play it cool, its a good thing he didnt notice my penis which was now black. probably because i was waering black pants.

Ew. Ink-covered-cock.
D:

I was round the corner from a fit girl, fapped it a few times till i was nearly there. Then i ran up to her and sprayed it in her face. She died later from aids.

well i thought i was home alone so i was walking around naked i go to my movie theater and im looking for my dads porn so i find some good stuff put it on th projecter and have it full blast. well the maid upstairs hears it and comes down i turn around and spray all over her. she told my parents and i was ground for 3 months.

At 10/5/07 09:21 PM, MasterCheifClock wrote: I once got caught by my best friend. (who is a girl) She thought it was a turn off and she said my dick was small.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Ouch

mom caught me look at some hot chick i started to masturbate then i had to close it and she almost talk
about what i did that was imbaressing.

I was jacking off in the bathroom, and my best friend (who is a girl) walks in. I made her swear that she wouldn't tell a soul. We skipped the handshake. She generally stayed away from me after that.

one time i skeeted on my shoe but i didnt know until later, im glad no one said anything

So, I was fapping, you know, the usual... nothing out of the normal, but my mozzila stopped working, so I had to go on IE.. anyways, it was a while ago, on newgrounds, fapping to some quiz, when a fucking pop up of some scary ass looking face comes out of nowhere, and it was like, two in the morning, and fuck.. i almost crapped my pants.

Also, I jizzed so hard one time, it hit my shoulder lol.

At 8/21/07 10:24 PM, IndyKid500 wrote: Once I had been using liquid soap as lube for a while, so I got pretty dry until one time a little thread of skin connecting the head and the shaft broke.

I thought I had broken my penis.

I think that happens after screwing/ jerking it for a while. It happened to me.

Lol when i was watching some porn and the thing froze

At 10/5/07 09:21 PM, MasterCheifClock wrote: I once got caught by my best friend. (who is a girl) She thought it was a turn off and she said my dick was small.

Wow, that must've sucked.

one time i was fapping and my grandma walked in and said "My have you grown!" and walked out

Well, first off, I have a computer in my own room, which is really lucky, when you think about the poor souls that have to fap in a family room.

Anyways, my room connects a hallway to our kitchen. Yeah. Lots of traffic.

That's the downside.

So I've fapped, and I've fapped, and I've fapped some more.

I never lock my doors. It's highly trafficked, my room, and if someone tries to open one of the doors but they can't, they'll immediately be suspicious.

Even with the door shut, they'll be suspicious. Paranoid parents.

So yeah, I either fap with the doors wide open, or I don't fap at all.

Of course, I do it at insanely late hours, to not get caught.

Anyways, I've found myself fapping, really in-the-moment, where both my mom AND my dad have just walked straight through my room, didn't even notice.

Funny part? On the way to the door that they're walking to, my computer is FACING them. They don't have to turn their heads to see what I'm doing when they walk through, it's right there, in front of them.

The way I see it, they're fucking blind.

It's not that they notice and don't care, otherwise they wouldn't freak when I lock my doors or anything like that.

so yeah, I've had scary moments happen a LOT.

lucky if my dad cuaght me he would be proud

Me and my friends where once sleeping together and fapped to all my pr0n on my computer (about 5gb), when i thought it could be fun to try with a condom on. Then i took one on and fapped. When i had done what i did, i took it off and threw it out of my window. ( I live on 2nd floor) Next day does my mom tell me and my friends to go down and pick it up!

Believe me. To go down and pick up a filled condom on the street, and know that 20 people are looking at you, and your mom knows it too.

I never found out how she knew it.

My mom was right outside of the bathroom when I was doing it, I had the door locked but she heard me grunt or something and asked what was I doing. I fell off the seat becasue she scared me so bad. Then I was like, "trying to get back on the seat after you scared the bejesus out of me". THank fully she never knew what I was doing.

Same here.

At 10/13/07 11:58 AM, Whitcomb wrote:

WORST NIGHT EVER D:

That must have been SOOOO embarrasing!
D:

I got a story...

Ok, so i was jerking it to some shit , forget where, when my dog ,half asleep, runs into the end table, hits her head, and so worried about my dog i didnt bother to pull my pants up , so i rush to pick her up to see shes alright, when my mom walks in saying, "what was that noi...", and before she could finish the sentence she saw me standing there, pants around my ankles, holding my little chihuahau(not sure how to spell it), all i could say was"...Fuck"

At 10/13/07 01:23 PM, 1Ghost2 wrote: I got a story...

"what was that noi...", and before she could finish the sentence she saw me standing there, pants around my ankles, holding my little chihuahau(not sure how to spell it), all i could say was"...Fuck"

HA HA Your mum thinks your in to beasttality.

No but it's never happend to me. I'm the fap master.

Oh my god these are so freaking funny

At 10/13/07 01:23 PM, 1Ghost2 wrote: I got a story...

Ok, so i was jerking it to some shit , forget where, when my dog ,half asleep, runs into the end table, hits her head, and so worried about my dog

Lol! That is so fucking funny. They must have taken your dog away and sent you to the psycologist.

At 10/13/07 05:37 PM, Trunks2 wrote:

At 10/13/07 01:23 PM, 1Ghost2 wrote: I got a story...

Ok, so i was jerking it to some shit , forget where, when my dog ,half asleep, runs into the end table, hits her head, and so worried about my dog

Lol! That is so fucking funny. They must have taken your dog away and sent you to the psycologist.

LMFAO!!!!!!!