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Scarriest Masturbation Moments

70,626 Views | 606 Replies

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 01:45:40


At 8/21/07 09:40 PM, Hellian00 wrote: Hmm...

One night, I went into my room and opened up my pron. I then proceded to begin fapping. I was about to blow my load when mom says "Dinner time". In shock, I let it all spill. My door was locked, and I had cum allover my bed/pants. I said to her "Just a sec". And she yelled "open the door". I diddn't and then my dad kicks it open(destroying the doorframe). There I am, no pants on, and clean cum off my cock/sheets/pants. It was the most silent, wierd 5 minutes of my life. He saw the porn(hentai), and said "What the fuck kind of porn is that?" It was bad. I got in troubble for keeping my door locked and having porn. He just acted like he never say my load dumped everywhere.

oh my god hahahha, that's so fucking funny. Thank you. Thank you for embarrassing yourself like that and thank you for telling us all the details. Brilliant.

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 01:54:42


Heh, for some reason, the only time my mom ever walks in while I am fapping is when I am in bed trying to get to sleep.. (I heard masturbating before going to bed helps you get to sleep or something)
But anyway, I don't even think she ever suspected anything, as soon as I hear the door open I stop and try to conceal it.


The fear of blood tends to create fear for the flesh.

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 02:37:35


BUMP!

yay?


Awsome sig coming to a forum near you!! (Maybe)

"hey shut the fuck up or ill post about you on my livejournal and tell every one to insult your ass"

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 04:40:55


I JUST CHOKED ON MY ROOT BEER ASSHOLE! funny story xD

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 04:48:47


I was once fapping to a naked image a friend of mine sent me of this girl he knows. Well While fapping we got into a conversation about her, and he told me that she was really nice and all
and I was like cool
So then, the last message he sends me before I come is, and due she's not even 18 yet!
So I had just got done fapping to Child Porn and didn't even know it, needless to say, I deleted the picture, and told him to fuck off. Put him on block on Msn and removed him from my List, I then proceeded to clear my MSN chat logs that I saved.


Theres a difference between me and you, I for one don't give a shit about you, and you... well you think I should.

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 05:15:46


my mic was on after i had left a convo open with someone on MSN, and they asked me "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NOISE!?!" goo thing i turned my Webcam away i replied "Try Guess!?" and continued fapping and unplugged my mic


"The thought of a giant dripping dick that protrudes out of a hole cut in the middle of my kitchen table similar to a glory hole is all I need to get my day going." -BlueHippo

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 18:17:03


once i was beating off to some internet pr0n late at night and my older sister walks in (I was 13 she was 17) she caught me dick in hand. It was really awkward the next morning.

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 18:45:17


So then, the last message he sends me before I come is, and due she's not even 18 yet!
So I had just got done fapping to Child Porn and didn't even know it, needless to say, I deleted the picture, and told him to fuck off. Put him on block on Msn and removed him from my List, I then proceeded to clear my MSN chat logs that I saved.

he could be joking you idiot. but i guess yah love to fapp. but with a senable knowing of what happening.


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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 18:48:56


At 2/14/07 09:52 PM, Lockout wrote:

so all in all the dude has to swim back to shore with his pubes still stuck in the sleeping bag. i dont think he ever woke us up again with that

OMFG HILARIOUS!

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 19:07:27


At 2/2/08 08:40 PM, Sexylegs wrote:

I unzipped his pants, and put his cock in her mouth. Then, I proceeded to drink a few more shots, and pass out myself.

We woke up later on, and we hear my friend scream. We ran into the room, and found out that the girl had bit his dick when she woke up. He was bleeding.

>:P

LOL omfg if that's true that is the funniest passed out prank I have ever heard of my fuking life XD

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 19:08:45


At 8/12/08 06:48 PM, Martin-Ohh wrote:
At 2/14/07 09:52 PM, Lockout wrote:
so all in all the dude has to swim back to shore with his pubes still stuck in the sleeping bag. i dont think he ever woke us up again with that

OMFG HILARIOUS!

Alright, so I wasn't exactly fapping, I was about to "get my fuck on"(Thanks to Harold and Kumar 2 for this phrase) with my wife(we weren't married yet) and she ran to the bathroom to clean up before we got really started, and I was like "That's cool, I'll just be out here." So I'm standing over by my door keeping everything going(you know, idly stroking) for the long minute or so she was "getting ready" and in that one minute, just 60 short seconds, my mom decides to walk in. I yelled "Nooooo." and flew toward the door, shoulder first, dick in hand, and slammed it shut. Mind you, it wasn't as actiony as it sounds, I was still trying to crouch in to hide everything I could, with two hands over my crotch more or less hopping at the door, but I wasn't far away from it so it was only like two hops.

She was yelling through the door "I'm sorry! I didn't see anything!" Then she said "You look like a rockstar!" .... *cracks up even to this day* A rock star? How would she know if she didn't see anything? You gonna walk in on me, your son, and see my naked body, then tell me I look like a rock star? Well, sick enough but it worked. I was like "I look like a rock star? I'm a fuckin' hottie!" and the mood wasn't lost. We(my gf and I) did indeed get our fuck on when she got outta the bathroom.

Anyway, that was the first time she'd ever seen me doing anything sexual. She'd ALMOST walked in on me countless times(count-less, as in anywhere between 100-10,000 times :P), but I have good reflexes and clicking muscles...although it has definitely come down to me having to cap it off with my hand too late (yukky) and talk to her calmly while hormones flood my brain in extacy and my muscles convulse strangely....


!NG Birthday List! :3 Current Count: 151 <3|||HELLO OPERATOR!|||Greatest Thread Ever!

Formerly, and still,Rahvin-the-vampire. Thanks Valjylmyr :)

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 20:59:29


No Idea why I should tell you all buttt.....

My Scariest moment Did not include me "Fapping"

I was at a camp And I heard my roomate fapping so I said preatty calmly (Sarcasm) "Dude! Wait till you get FUCKING HOME!!!!!"
He responds with another very calm "OH SHIT!!! Sorry man...."

I fall back asleep.

And Get woken up 30 minutes later...
My roomate was grunting My name.....

I just screamed "WTF!" And walked out of the cabin.

yeahhhhhhhh

But My Scarriest masturbation moment happened when I was in the shower.
Thinking to myself lets try something new...
I grabbed my toothpaste And started and Cummed REALLY quick.

Got out of the shower

30 mins later

BURNED LIKE HELL FOR MORE THAN 2 HOURS!

So Please NEVER EVER Put toothpaste on your dick!


"Selling Rich Women their own fat back them" Tyler Darland, On making soap from liposuctioned fat.

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-12 21:11:54


So I was in the study (shared room. boo.), doin' my thing, watching some of my favorite porn which I squeeze into every last available space on my comp, so it's fairly easy to find (bad move). Anyway, so when I was just about to finish up, the power died, so I came and went all over my shitty-ass laptop which now had a blank screen (only had a few percent remaining. Was connected to mains. bleh). To make matters worse, my dad stormed in to check something, and I WAS JUST THERE, MY DICK IN MY HANDS, LAPTOP AND PANTS COVERED IN JIZZ. Later he forced me to delete the porn.

But I got it back in the end xD

Because kittens scare me...

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 01:13:44


this must be the scariest moment but it payed off , i was spanking my ham ( lol) to a picture of a girl i liked ( this was when i was 13 and her pic was on myspace) anyway she was my best friend so she walks through the door ( this was the day i was supposed to go with her and my friends to the park) and she sees the picture and i turned around with jizz on my hands and my dick out. so.... she was amazed that i liked her, many compliments were given to me about size, hotness, xD so i eventually got to see her tits and got to make out with her. im now 16 and shes now my girlfriend :D
so it was scary at first then payed off still almost made me shit my self because if she didnt like me. rumours would flood the school. funny thing all my friends jaws were dropped when they saw me and her holding hands to meet them at the park. cause they thought we would never go out.


oh shit i havent changed my signature in 3 years

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 01:15:12


I just LOVE this thread!


"Plz don't call NASA on me I'm afraid of astronauts dude" - DJ-Ri (2015)

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 05:46:14


Just one girl story amongst all the men? While I may regret sharing this later, it can at least offer some diversity to the mix.

Years and years ago, had to have been during high school, I thought I had the home to myself. I've even made the necessary checks and double-checks. Assured of my safety, I start a video I'd managed to acquire and sit atop a towel, propping my back against my bed post. Still frightened to give away any signs, I leave the volume mercifully low, just enough for me to hear any sounds that they would make (it was an all-girl, all-out orgasm party... There is no better way to explain it, and yes, I'm a lesbian). Okay, so I'm taking my time, like really taking my time. I'm more than not just playing along with the scene. Well, I get to point, but I think "Surely, I can just keep doing this since there's no one else here", so I basically start going nuts with it and continue. Well. I was just about to peak again when I hear a shuffle by my door. turns out my step-mum was doing laundry and had just come back into the main building. She's seen me relatively nude before, but never in a sexual situation (let alone the video playing the whole time), and deep down I think that may have harmed her a little. Anyways, I'm in shock and shame, and she just turns around and starts to her room, saying, "Meet me in the living room when you're done, I guess...". I didn't try to ... continue... so I stopped the movie, errr, wiped down , and washed my hands. i then dressed myself in my pajamas and slowly and fearfully met her in the living room where she had two cans of coke and a small black bag (which scared the hell out of me). She was actually smiling, pehaps a little forced, but she wasn't as upset as I'd feared.
"Okay, I was a teen once, and I can imagine what you're thinking right now, which is most likely 'What is she thinking right now?'."
I didn't respond.
"Well, I need to first apologize for, uhh, interrupting, and second I need to emphasize that if you're going to do something like that, it'd be best for you to make absolutely sure that there's no chance in hell that anyone would be around. Doors are to be closed and locked. Nobody is to ask and nobody is to tell, got it?"
I nod, focusing all of my will to keep my heart from escaping.
"Now that I've said that, I just want you to know that I'm not mad and I'm not ashamed. I'm more than a little surprised, but perhaps not as startled as you are. The thing that bothers me the most here is that -" She pulls a magazine (I think it was a Hustler or something) I thought I had hidden between my mattresses from inside the black bag, "...with this and what I stumbled upon just now, there are some things we need to get out in the open, NOW."

We had a very long and uncomfortable talk, then, but in the end, she was very understanding. I was lucky. I had a friend (a guy) who was flat-out bragging about how his mother walked in on him during a very private moment on the family PC. She wasn't very understanding.

She sold the thing.

Face your Manga! Share it for best results. This was great until recently. The rest of this signature is false.

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 10:22:23


At 8/21/07 09:55 PM, Sicr wrote:
At 8/21/07 09:52 PM, Hellian00 wrote:
At 8/21/07 09:46 PM, Sicr wrote: This thread is going to be epic.
I rember the Masturbation Mistakes thread. I had like 20+ pages.
Heh, figures. Put the word masturbation is the title and it becomes popular...

Heheh, 23,000 views, 562 replies. How did you guess?!


Don't eat yellow snow, Pepsi and coke are the same thing, etc. Visit my webpage! (go on)

Can I eat your brain? pleeeaaase?

You now have a duty in life!!! Clean up Newgrounds!!

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 12:18:00


I went into my room and sat down to enjoy the rest of my porno, I closed the curtains and began, my fan was on because of the heat and it was about 9 at night so it was quite dark.

Anyway I heard my beighbours outside, didn't really pay much attention until i'd finished, I turned round to notice the fan had blown my curtains wide open and seeing as my light was on and it was dark, you could see right in, my neighbours had been standing talking to a friend at their car litterally meters away from our house...

Totally degrading..

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 19:21:17


Bumped for greatness


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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 20:33:18


At 8/21/07 09:29 PM, cUmOrAhKiD wrote: I was masturbating and my sister's friend walked in, she then said how about i finish masturbating for you. Needless to say i was like sure, her and i now enjoy masturbating eachother twice a week.

nice


[madness][killing spree][my homepage][my youtube account] PSN: bichinmonkey favorite game: call of Duty: world at war

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 20:46:32


my cat got me three times in one night.

you see the only computer in my house is on the ground floor. so, one night, i was doing my usual watching this really hot shower porno staring my favorite porn star; Eve Lawrence (who i'd do even if it would give me ghonorea) anyway, i was about to.......arrive....when all the sudden my eye catches the window, where a pair of glowing eyes was staring at me... trust me, seeing a demonic pair of eyes makes the tingle go away real fast..... anyway..... it turned out to be my cat.... so i opened up the window and let him in..... and then i went back to watching Eve Lawrence ride it again. i went back to doing my buisness when the cat, out of nowhere goes "MEOW" really, really, loud which scared the shit out of me. i whirl around in the chair to face him and he hisses at me.... which was really weird.... anyway, so once again i start watching Eve Lawrence's tits going up and down. while i'm doing so, the cat jumps onto the arm of the couch which is right next to the computer, and i have long hair. so, he sees my hair swaying back and forth, hanging in front of my face, and it antices him. so, he pounces on my head and his nogan hits me right in the nose, which starts bleeding. taking a hint i shut off the computer and go to bed.

no lie, i swear to god.


Kein Mitleid Für Die Mehrheit

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum EPIC TOPIC

Why So Serious?

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 20:53:43


At 6/28/08 02:44 PM, ChaosProdigy wrote:
At 6/27/08 09:29 PM, ParadoxSaint wrote: I think it's hot when I'm masturbating and there's a chance I could get caught. It gives a sort of dirty feeling I can't usually get.
Well I think I represent every guy when I say that a woman is always hot when she's masturbating.

Just saying!!!

ParadoxSaint is a guy you idiot.


Sig by LemonSourKid

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 20:55:47


At 8/13/08 08:46 PM, GOD-OF-DEATH wrote: no lie, i swear to god.

im sure


[madness][killing spree][my homepage][my youtube account] PSN: bichinmonkey favorite game: call of Duty: world at war

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 20:57:18


I allmost shit my self and it was taco bell shit and a was'nt on the craper.

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 21:02:24


At 8/21/07 09:43 PM, RedCoin wrote: When I really did go blind.

I wondered why so many blind kids hang out in the back of my school's computer lab.........

Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 21:02:48


At 8/13/08 09:00 PM, DryChris wrote: In jerked off, fell of my bed, cummed and the semen almost hit my mouth. I wiped it off fast before anyone would see it.

thats fucked up man


[madness][killing spree][my homepage][my youtube account] PSN: bichinmonkey favorite game: call of Duty: world at war

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 21:16:56


Once when i was like 14, and believe it or not i was actually measuring with my ruler so i could compare size with the "official averages" in the FHM magazine. During that tiny time sitting at my desk with my back to the door my dad walks right in and asks me what im doing up that late on a school night. He doesnt have a clue and i manage to keep him from peeking around my body to see my penis and a ruler under my desk. That was scary as hell.


I fucking hate euphemism.

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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 21:37:03


you won't belive this. im reading this topic while wacthing south park, the sex ed ep it was so fucking funny.


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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 21:37:20


At 8/13/08 04:13 AM, alex-shelley wrote: Yesterday I was masturbating on my bed while listening to music with my earphones in, once i had finished i opened my eyes to find a plate of cookies on my side table. my mom had walked in my bedroom, put cookies on my table and left I'm embarrassed I can't look her in the eyes again

You do not know how hard i laughed after reading that.


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Response to Scarriest Masturbation Moments 2008-08-13 22:04:44


ahh my scariest moment in masturbation would have to be when i first experienced the joy of whacking my meat,i didn't lock the door. just as about im gonna blow a nut for the first time. my mom busts in, and i jumped 2 feet in the air she said "what's that jake?" i tried to do the swivle to block her view of the porn.

the next day i got a surprise talk about the birds and the bees...