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At 8/22/07 12:23 AM, Girouette wrote: When my chair broke as I was masturbating. I leaned back and the seat popped off the base. I proceeded to laugh hysterically since I just flipped backwards while cumming.

I laughed so hard i came. thats the best thing ive ever heard (and imagined) just imagin some one doing a back flip whilst making cum spirals! WOW you sir win.

/end thread

Wait, I wikied circumcision, but does that mean my penis needs to be cut!?

Pl0x. Halp.

wow i was gonna say epic thread but...too late

At 8/8/08 09:34 PM, LordBeta2 wrote: Pl0x. Halp.

No it doesn't. There's are two different kinds of Peni's. One that's uncut and has plenty of skin, and one that's cut that leaves the bell showing all the time.

Nearly ALL Jews are Circumsized.

No it doesn't. There's are two different kinds of Peni's. One that's uncut and has plenty of skin, and one that's cut that leaves the bell showing all the time.

Nearly ALL Jews are Circumsized.

dont they get that done at there barmitzfah when there 13?

sry if i misspelt barmitzfah, i've never had to write it b4

At 8/8/08 09:45 PM, JKMonkey wrote:

No it doesn't. There's are two different kinds of Peni's. One that's uncut and has plenty of skin, and one that's cut that leaves the bell showing all the time.

Nearly ALL Jews are Circumsized.

dont they get that done at there barmitzfah when there 13?

sry if i misspelt barmitzfah, i've never had to write it b4

Im not a jew, I dont get a barmitzfah. ANd my chinese doctor (Yes, very weird) looked at my penis (weirder) and never said anything was wrong, so I'm good.

hey can we go back to the funny jack offing or fingering shit. i mean its funny so GET BACk TO it.

k

At 6/13/08 05:05 PM, PandaBearKitten wrote:

. He saw the porn(hentai), and said "What the fuck kind of porn is that?" It was bad. I got in troubble for keeping my door locked and having porn. He just acted like he never say my load dumped everywhere.

oh god I feel sorry for you

I don't, that's a bad-ass story.

Well, one time I was in my room doing my thing when all of a sudden my dad's friend wife comes out of NO WHERE and yells to me throught the window. Thank god she didn't find out what I was doing. Oh and anther my Mom called during it...

Okay, im like 7 and its at night and i cant sleep, so i go to tell mai dad this (idk why) and so i walk into his bedroom and hes not there, so i walk back to my room and just as i open my door i see that the Tv's on downstairs. I proceed to go check it out. As im going down the stairs i see my dad sitting on the floor (which is REALLY weird i mean its like 1:00 AM). So I creep down the stairs and see some "mature" things on the television. Being unable to comprehand such things at that age, i went back to sleep.

5 years later i suddenly got it......................................

................. ew

well once when i was just watching some porn and jaerking off and suddenly was some weird frog porn pop-up and my cousin and her kids came dashing into my room.

it was really awkward trying to explain what they just saw.

So this one day i was pretty EXITED so i get on my other computer (i have 2 computers beside each other) and mine has a filter that blocks out all the good sites so i get on the virgin non filtered computer and open up some hawt fap worthy porn, 2 asians and a dude in a big fapping threesome, so i was getting really into it about to fire the nuke and i hear my mom comming to the computer room, i quickly pause the video (as a hot anal close up is happening) and i quickly switch over to a diffrent tab. i wasent quick enough and she had seen it so she said "what was that?" i quickly counter with "nothing, nothing at all" and she said "I know i saw some thing whats this tab?" "hot brazzilian fuck fests?" after some arguing she forces my to switch to the movie and it has the anal scene i quickly close the browsers and she sighs and shakes her head and walks off perceeding to talk to all her "girl" freinds about me fapping, Sadly with cock in hand rush to the bathroom and squeeze one out and come back and act like nothing happend for the rest of the day.

my web cam turned towards me and watched

SHIVER

Well alrighty, I remember one time, back in the day when Halo 2 was the shit, I played it quite often. So since I was so burned out from playing it. So I was playing halo 2 with a friend over Live, we would just run around and make lil barricades and stuff or do glitches out of boredom. So He was playing around, and I turned off my mic and decide to pull out one of my magazines. (Since we were moving into our new house at the time, and I didn't have my computer in yet.) Then I pull out the ol' Johnson and begin to fap. Right at the climax my mom walks in the door. (She didn't know how to knock at the time.) So I quickly tried to conceal my cock, but could only cover up mainly the head and maybe half of it, it squirted all in my hands and my mom knew what I had done. So talked to me about trying to hide it better and laughed at me. I guess it wasn't so bad, but it was kinda awkward =/.

At 8/22/07 12:23 AM, Girouette wrote:

/end thread

This thread will never die

I was fapping at my computer with no one else in the house. Staring at a hentai gallery, I wasn't just starting or about to climax. Then my cat jumps straight from the floor to my desk in front of my screen. All he wanted was some water, but he scared the shit out of me 'cuz he usually doesn't do that and act so quiet.
My friend Adam and his sister were at his dad's house, and Adam's sister's hot friend had spent the night. He walked in on her getting dressed, and when he said sorry and was about to leave, she told him to come in. She was just in her underwear and she told him to finger her (and he did), but her parent's came to pick her up before she came or did anything for Adam. This was when he was 12 or 13, and I didn't get the story out of him until he was 15. He said it didn't feel like he thought it would - like the inside of your cheek (mouth).

At 8/8/08 09:27 PM, Supercalifragalistic wrote:

At 8/22/07 12:23 AM, Girouette wrote: When my chair broke as I was masturbating. I leaned back and the seat popped off the base. I proceeded to laugh hysterically since I just flipped backwards while cumming.

I laughed so hard i came. thats the best thing ive ever heard (and imagined) just imagin some one doing a back flip whilst making cum spirals! WOW you sir win.

/end thread

Mine is when i was fapping, this kid was watching thru the windows. I have no curtains. WAHHHH! i was like "SHIT!" and he ran off.

Fucking gay.

heres a story to remember...

When i was in the 10th grade, one day i decide to skip spanish class and stay in the bathroom for the whole period; by the way i went to a Cathloic school. Well, about half way into my little game of hooky i get bored and decide to start wanking it. Well one of my classmates rats me out to the principal. in the whole hour i spent in the bathroom. Our principal, (who is also our church pastor). Walks in when im just about to let out some baby gravy, and when he opened the stall to talk to me i came all over his face. that day i earned myself 20 detentions and the shame of never being allowed to use the school bathrooms ever again

Bump

At 8/21/07 09:55 PM, Sicr wrote:

At 8/21/07 09:52 PM, Hellian00 wrote:

At 8/21/07 09:46 PM, Sicr wrote: This thread is going to be epic.

I rember the Masturbation Mistakes thread. I had like 20+ pages.

Heh, figures. Put the word masturbation is the title and it becomes popular...

What? Masturbation? Where?!

Well I live home alone with my Dad and every day I have 3 hours alone before my Dad comes home from work. So at about 5:30 one day I was fapping away when my Dad comes in the front door. (I didn't hear his motorbike.) So I'm sitting in the lounge pants down thinking "SHIT" so I really quick pull up my pants and turn off da DVD and grab it just before he comes in the room.

At 6/28/08 03:29 PM, MrPantz wrote: I didn't realize the volume on my computer was turned all the up so when i hit play on a porno I woke my brother up ( It was about 1 in the morning) to the words "OH YEAH FUCK MY CUNT".

Oh! Lol! I was laughing ssooo hard I might have woken my parents up!

busting a super super harsh load and having a ball go up out of my sac (it went back down)... it happens from time to time.

Well one time I was wacking it in the bathroom cause I thought no one was home. When my dad walked in and looked at me. Just for a second I looked at him dick in hand and almost cried. He walked out. It has never been the same.

At 10/12/07 11:26 PM, rockerguy15 wrote: one time i was fapping and my grandma walked in and said "My have you grown!" and walked out

OMGOSH! That was so fucking funny. Lol lmao rofl copter!!!!

At 8/12/08 01:15 AM, dalmo wrote: Well one time I was wacking it in the bathroom cause I thought no one was home. When my dad walked in and looked at me. Just for a second I looked at him dick in hand and almost cried. He walked out. It has never been the same.

Well one time i was jerking it while i was talking to this kid from newgrounds via AIM voice chat. He never found out, but it was very enjoyable mastubating while listening to his soft soothing voice.

At 8/12/08 01:17 AM, Tesla-Claw wrote:

At 8/12/08 01:15 AM, dalmo wrote: Well one time I was wacking it in the bathroom cause I thought no one was home. When my dad walked in and looked at me. Just for a second I looked at him dick in hand and almost cried. He walked out. It has never been the same.

Well one time i was jerking it while i was talking to this kid from newgrounds via AIM voice chat. He never found out, but it was very enjoyable mastubating while listening to his soft soothing voice.

Dude. I am watching hentai right now so jokes on you. faggot................

illegal text motherfuckerssssssss

At 8/12/08 01:17 AM, Tesla-Claw wrote:

Well one time i was jerking it while i was talking to this kid from newgrounds via AIM voice chat. He never found out, but it was very enjoyable mastubating while listening to his soft soothing voice.

That was me.