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I have a scary sex moment. I was having sex with my girlfriend at the time, we were in her bedroom and the next thing I know her grandma came walking in the room. Her parents were gone at the time but her grandma came over to check on her and I guess she didn't like what she found. She started crying and the worst part was I had to get dressed and go downstairs to leave and in order to leave I had to walk past her grandma who had just seen me naked banging her grandaughter. That was pretty bad but the good news is I was just finishing when she walked in so no blue balls for me.

I was beating off, sister came in. yeah.

11 page thread...Wow

GG

its funny how when you masturbate and like you jump or look around when you hear a sound like a creak or something fall

At 1/30/08 09:59 PM, NightmareFire wrote: Error 404: Text not found.

Of course, it just looked like two people were hugging, so I explained that Youtube has some very weird videos, and you don't know what they'll be like til you watch them. He was satified with my answer.

I proceded to masturbate afterwards.

With your brother still there???

At 1/30/08 08:22 PM, VhsTapeclock wrote: 69=Gay sex position.
*DISCLAIMER: I only know this because of Wikipeida. I'm not gay.*
Two men lay in the position of, hence the name, a 6 and a 9 so they can suck eachother's dicks at the same time.

Nothing gay about it, really. It could be one dude chews some bubblegum while having his whistle blown.

At 1/30/08 10:11 PM, Toastman7007 wrote:

At 1/30/08 09:59 PM, NightmareFire wrote:

He was satified with my answer and left.

I proceded to masturbate afterwards.

With your brother still there???

Believe what you want to believe.

Wait, on second thought, DON'T!

word of advice guys, lock the dowr and DO IT IN THE FUCKING BATHROOM!

stop complaining when your parents find you in the living room naked with porn on the tv damit.

HAHA!...all guyz...sad...( cuz i guessed that)

At 1/30/08 07:01 AM, peepee45 wrote: I caught my brother with some naruto shit on his pc. He was such a retard, he had his door open and no clothes on at 3:00 pm! I told him I was going to tell mom and walked away, I never did so he is still scared.

faggot, little snitches like you should be fragged.

\chiefindomer wrote:: I was having sex with my girlfriend at the time, we were in her bedroom and the next thing I know her grandma came walking in the room. Her parents were gone at the time but her grandma came over to check on her. She started crying and the worst part was I had to get dressed and go downstairs to leave and in order to leave I had to walk past her grandma who had just seen me naked banging her grandaughter.

Ouch. Did you have a good time anyway? You were scared?

At 1/30/08 08:22 PM, VhsTapeclock wrote: *DISCLAIMER: I only know this because of Wikipeida. I'm not gay.*

omg lier u totally luv da cawk!!11!!

I am pretty lucky, the scariest moment was when I was home alone and I zipped down my pants and went to some porn site. I start to watch and fap, then out of the blue I heard some one up stairs and they were walking down the stairs. I quickly exit out and pull up my pants. It was just the sound of the wind outside making the stairs creek. God damnit!! So I go back to fapping.

i was doin it and i was halfway through it and my granpa walked in

I was masturbating while my parents were asleep at 3:00 AM, and I was almost done when my mom woke up and went to the bathroom. She came in my room afterwards, probably to see if I was asleep or not, and then she caught me. I didn't expect any of that.

This isn't really about masturbation or me, but it's funny.

Me and a few mates went to a party, and after a long night of sexy dancing, Guitar Hero 3 and getting drunk, some hot chick passes out. My friend passes out too, so I thought to myself "Let's have a little fun with this..."

I unzipped his pants, and put his cock in her mouth. Then, I proceeded to drink a few more shots, and pass out myself.

We woke up later on, and we hear my friend scream. We ran into the room, and found out that the girl had bit his dick when she woke up. He was bleeding.

>:P

Usually the father doesnt mind you looking at yer pr0n, but the mother does. The father only yells at you for it so the mother wont yell at him later.
Oh and...
YES UR PARENTS HAD SEX!!! MWUAHAHAH

At 2/14/07 09:45 PM, Twessel wrote: Falling off my chair and making a loud booming noise as I fell into my closet door. It was late at night, and my parents were in bed. I had to pull up my pants and exit the porn before they came in. It was a REALLY close call.

I still got in trouble for not being asleep though =[

Something like that happened to me,but I was standing,the TV was on,and my parents were in the next room.They didn't catch me dickhanded,but I was banned from watching TV for a week.

At 2/2/08 08:40 PM, Searp3nt wrote: This isn't really about masturbation or me, but it's funny.

Me and a few mates went to a party, and after a long night of sexy dancing, Guitar Hero 3 and getting drunk, some hot chick passes out. My friend passes out too, so I thought to myself "Let's have a little fun with this..."

I unzipped his pants, and put his cock in her mouth. Then, I proceeded to drink a few more shots, and pass out myself.

We woke up later on, and we hear my friend scream. We ran into the room, and found out that the girl had bit his dick when she woke up. He was bleeding.

>:P

Hey,thanks for the idea.I'll do that to most people on a party I'm planning to go on tomorrow.It will be a work of ART.

when i done it in class and fell asleep then i fell of my chair and every one saw.

When I was fapping in my room and my dad started hammering on the door and trying to get in. I forget what it was about. Good thing it was locked.

I had to jump up and throw my clothes on, then I opened up the door. Didn't even get to finish :(

At 2/2/08 09:35 PM, chocolate-penguin wrote: Does anyone find it slightly odd that a topic like this gets 12 pages?

This is NewGrounds of course, but why the fuck most of you want to share your meat processing techniques is beyond me.

I'm bi so I don't really care, though.

Because it's hilarious. You can't deny that some of these stories are fucking epic. Yes, it's "immature" but honestly I don't give a shit, it's newgrounds.

lol well i was on meh top bunk bed it was like mid morning XD bad time to do it but you know i was horny as hell XD and my mother walked in i was like *grabs blanket covers up* *pretends to sleep* she come over to me and shes like why are you sweating and i was all playing it off then shes like oh you were sleeping but i think she knew >.> <.<

Anyone ever seen this thread?

http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.
php?t=30851

Not really masturbation again, more of a blow job during school in the toilets.

So, my girlfriend works away at my dick, and I'm loving it, we're in a cubical and it's lunch time, the time where no one uses the toilets near Yellow (other side of the school, the one we are using). I'm letting out low moans, when suddenly, a bunch of my mates walk in. I shit myself, and pull her off my dick, and we both hide. I decide to let it carry on, however, and make her suck my dick very lightly and softly, so she did. And I came, right in her mouth.

After 5 minutes with her holding cum in her mouth, my mates left. God, scariest moment in my life.

the first time i masturbated i used shampoo and it dried the shit out of my dick making all the skin peel leaving chaff marks everywhere it hurt to pee for atleast a month

Not really relevent, but who cares...

Late at night I decided to draw My own. I then fell asleep, and My mum woke Me up and said 'These are good drawings!!!". And shes never been the same since...

Tenacious D, cock jokes, and non-stop swearing...

I can never get caught for these reasons :
I don't watch, I imagine.
I rub, not jerk.
I don't take my pants off.

Because of this thread, a goal in life for me is to walk in on my son. When this happens I will make it as awkward as I possibly can.