anyways, i have 2 stories, ill save the funniest for last (it mite only be funny for me, u had to have been there..
Story 1: so i was jerking off (boy did i put that niceley...) and my sister had a friend over from another state for a whole week, and i'm pretty much just getting started up, when i hear laughing and footsteps coming down the stairs (my only pc is downstairs, and it was 2-3 in the morning) so i thought "oh shitmonkeys pulling a hobbit out of my ass" so i quickly put my junk away, (i had my pants on, fly down, thank god) and they come down and say, "dont tell mom we're getting cokes" (my mom is a bitch, she would get mad at that btw) so they got to the fridge, get cokes, and go back upstairs, so i think "i am a lucky sonofabitch"
Story 2: (this is a really funny one, but its not me) so i was at this summer camp for a week, and this retarded kid (brandon) was there, and he was a screwed up kid. and btw, my tent had gotten flooded out, so i had to bunk with one of my friends there, and it turns out his tent is next to brandons. so one day, brandon was convinced that G.I. Hos'e was a reall t.v. show (gi hose was from family guy) so he was always chantin' (G.I. Hose, a real mexican hero) so that night, my friend and i are talking in his tent, and we hear brandon jerking off (he did this a few nites at camp, we could hear him wen he went to bed early every nite) so my friend and i are laughing so hard, but quietly, and then we hear him chant (after he cums i assume) "G.I. HOSE, A REAL MEXICAN HERO!!!" lol!!!