lol i love the term "shitted bricks", it always makes me giggle. i rly got to use that more lol

This doesn't totally have to do with masturbation but one time on our way out of music our teacher (about 28 - 30 years old)dropped something off the top shelf and we saw her yellow thong. Lets jsut say that image kept me busy for a while.

so i say to them "i cant sleep" and so my mom says," ok, you can lie down ..um...on the couch over there," so i go the the couch, (where i can still see them very well, only about 3 yards away!!!!) andi proceed to gaze at them, when i think...im just gonna turn my head away, and pretend it never happend. so i turn my face towards the cushion of the couch, and smother my face in it, i few minutes later i get up, look at them and say... "uh, im goin to bed, g'nite" and i hurry up the stairs, and i hear my parents say almost simealtaneausly "good nite!"

i still get nightmares to this day

What the fuck??
If that's any true thats fucking weird.

At 6/13/08 04:30 PM, Scooter245 wrote: I was reading this forum post and my mom came in and started reading and started laughing. She saw my post, and she thought I was lying. I told her "you were out of town". o_O Were still reading these

tell your mom id love to jizz on her and she could be in both our storys about the time she let me jizz on her

i went into the bathroom, flicked on the light, the fan, turned on the shower, and after i got undressed i decided to masturbate. my friend unlocks the door with a hanger because he thought i wouldn't be able to hear him talking to me, he acted like nothing was happening, and still asked me his question

i was in school and they were doing searches for me, and plus they received tips that i had a halfpound of the dank shit. they brought in the k9s searched my lockers and shit, then they couldnt find me so they looked around and i was up in the bathroom jacken off in the stalls, so the school cop dude along with some other dudes saw me beaten my dick. i was like hold on but they wanted me to come now so i did and i came all over the toilet seat.

At 10/27/07 10:39 AM, Complete wrote: I remember I was jacking off, then I accidentally snapped off my cock.

the same thing happened to me ecxept instead of it coming of, i got shot in the head with a sniper rifle

One time I was fapping when I was home alone, and my nail had scratched my dick near the head, and it hurt real bad, and still to this day, skin keeps peeling off. :( It's odd...

Oh and, does your hand ever slip and pinch your head often? (TMI, but amirite?)

youtube has porn on it but its dry porn (porn with cloths on). i thot this one was HOT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmJJwM0zp pI

At 8/21/08 02:47 AM, Brute999 wrote: youtube has porn on it but its dry porn (porn with cloths on). i thot this one was HOT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmJJwM0zp pI

Lemme guess, Rick Roll?

:AMIRITE?

if u assumed tht u were gay, then yes. you're right

awesoem thread!

anyways one time i was fapping to a porn film.. half way in the film
the gerl gets on her knees and starts crying like hell and im like
woah and got alot harder. so i kept going then suddenly this guy
putts a gun in her mouth and im so excited then he shoots her
fucking brains out!
and i didnt even go soft i just kept going looking at her dead neked body ;o
:D:D:D::D:D:D:D:D:D
it was hillarius:D:D:D

dude, i just totaly came

I wasn't able to finish, I had to shit really bad. I believe my shit hit my prostate, and boom I ejaculated. Remember, I ejaculated, but I didn't have an orgasm. It was a mix of blood and semen. Yuck.

DentedDementia wrote:

I was watching porn, and my mom came up the the stairs and in the room. I went to click the X, but hit the maximize button by mistake.

Luckily she wasn't paying attention and I closed it without her noticing.

That's happened to me before.

Not fun at all!

once i was home alone and i was jerking odd and one of my primary school friends that lives in the street next to me walks into my house (because dad doesn't lock the door he just pulls it shut) and he saw me jerking to some porn (i didn't realize) and he leaves my house. then that night on MSN he says "sorry for walking in on you wanking so i was just like WTF and he told all the people in our class and i was just like aww...SHIT but now i don't care....although one guy(who i think is gay) keeps asking how often i do it and all these awkward questions about it and yeah kind of creepy

shoot when my mum came

At 8/21/08 02:47 AM, Brute999 wrote: youtube has porn on it but its dry porn (porn with cloths on). i thot this one was HOT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmJJwM0zp pI

i spit on your post, and your link.

and i SPIT UPON WHALE ROLL.

I touched my dick once.
It was scary.

when our maid almost caught me.

the weirdest one happened to me years ago when my friend was satyng overnight so that we could watch porn....my friend is very close to my sister and then woudn't you know it, she actually watched porn with us! kind of akward right?

At 8/21/07 09:38 PM, Thelonecanadian wrote: I was butt naked faping anf my grandfatehr walks in and i pretned to be dressing it work lol

He wasn't curious by the boner?

But then again, I suppose he wouldn't ask either.

Lol this is funny shiet. Here's mine:

My sister's room and my room are alligned and a few yards apart, and in her room there's a mirror right in front of the door, with which you can see my computer monitor all the way on the other side of the hall.

I think you know where this ends.

Didn't speak to her for a week.

At 8/22/07 12:46 AM, Spitz805 wrote:

At 8/22/07 12:27 AM, Whomper wrote: When me and 3 guys were all wanking and sucking each other off, then i released my 4 litre load into their mouths.

Then we all hugged and kissed.

...

!?!?!!?

At 10/5/07 01:13 PM, AlbinoHippo wrote:

And a splooge right onto the wall next to her. The next 5 minutes is full of awkwardness, and then she finally leaves. She's been acting weird ever since.

Yeaaaaahhh i wonder why...hmmm

At 10/5/07 04:48 PM, Jawa2432 wrote: When i was 12 i got my balls chopped off because i was masterbating.

WTF?!?! uhhhh.... why?please explain

At 8/22/08 03:54 PM, ostecca7 wrote:

At 10/5/07 04:48 PM, Jawa2432 wrote: When i was 12 i got my balls chopped off because i was masterbating.

WTF?!?! uhhhh.... why?please explain

Thanks for fucking nearly killing this topic.

I suppose the numerous times I was almost caught, I guess back then it was southern tradition to enter a room without knocking.

Why does everyone in this site make masturbation topics?

At 8/28/08 05:30 PM, Emanhattan wrote: Why does everyone in this site make masturbation

casue its newgrounds.

Bumped for great justice.