At 4/17/08 01:51 AM, Preternatural wrote: One time I was fapping and I saw a picture of Samuel L. Jackson. I SHAT MY PANTS OFF.

I'm sick of this MUTHAFUCKIN TEEN fapping to this MUTHAFUCKIN PICTURE! Ahh thats possibly the most widely recognized movies of his...

So terrible

wen my mums best friend saw me and said se would do it if she had a cock...

I think when my dick felt like it was about to bleed.

one time i cummed in the bath and it went in my ear
the next day it fell out all dry and crispy
i was like "gah"

Lol.
Weirdest Topic ive seen in ages >_>
I dont Masturbate freinds tell me to try (ROFLCOPTAH!)

At 10/5/07 12:03 PM, 2good2b4goten wrote: Jesus. It would have to be the summer of '04. I fully downloaded my first pornographic movie....

LMFAO....This was the best one ever, I cried while I read it

Can sum1 post a funny story so i can laff
or so help me god i will get myself caught purposly!

someone revive this topic from the dead i beg you!!

I wonder how many times, 'My parents walking in' has been said. It's never happened to me.

I guess my scariest moment would have to be when I realised that 'white goo came out of it now.'

I jack off in front of my parents every night.

i was doing my girlfriend when her mom came in :| ... and i just jumped on my girlfriendXD.... the mother didn't see it :| (she really must have been blind dudesXD)

Alright, I finally have something to contribute. My mom was upstairs, and I was downstairs on the couch jacking off. I had a blanket over me. All of a sudden, she comes walking down the stairs. I quit immediately. She doesn't notice, so I think "Oh thank God". But then, she says "I told you to keep the blanket laying down on the couch so the dog doesn't tear up the couch. OH SHIT! I would have to put it down, exposing my cock...

So we argued for a few minutes and then she was pulling at the blanket! I pulled back. I finally had to give up. So what I did was I released the blanket, and as I was doing that, I spun around looking the other way, and went in the kitchen "to get some food". She was mad at me, but I never got caught. It was worth it.

At 4/14/08 06:23 PM, Mark618 wrote:

2. I was sleeping over at my friends house, and i secretly hated the kid, but i went over there to play his computer and his 64. so were in his room looking at porn, and he wants me to beat off at the same time as him. im like, fuck u faggot. then he tries to tell me to suck him off. i punch him in the face, i tell EVERYONE at school the next day, and we never spoke again.

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At 2/14/07 09:48 PM, Soldjah wrote: Today actually. I was doing my thing, and my Mom comes in to tell me something, pants were completely off. I was really into it. Didn't even notice she was there; until she cleared her throat. She told me to call me work to see what time I was working. She just acted like nothing happened. Awkwardness proceeded on the drive to work.

You didn't get whooped for that? I don't believe no one here got whooped for getting caught.

You'll must have bad parents or something-if my brother or I had done that my mother would have torn our butts up.

Here's Another one

Yesterday, i was Jerking to some Goat Goth porn suddenly, the door opens!
im like "WTF!?!" and pull pants down fast as hell my brother comes in and starts talking about some Shit
called "Pirate's of the caribean online" as he is about to leave he stares att my crouch and says something like"You......" and im like"What?" then he leaves, afterwards i notice the Telephone pole sticking through my zipper, i died

One day i was masturbating on the floor in my room.Then out of nowhere my brother comes in the door. embassised i sayed "i was doing pushups then my pants fall".Then the asshole going to tell his friends and my sister.I was talked about for weeks! THAT ASSHOLE!

This is an epic topic.... congratulations

It doesn't quite have to do with me masturbating, but I was eating dinner at home with my dad and out of the blue in a dull moment he goes, "If my teenager wanted to look at porn I wouldn't care." I choked on my food a little. He knows I don't look at porn btw... it's not my thing at all.

i was masturbating on my bed and my mom walked in and saw the cat on the desk in front of me and hasn't spoken to me for a week.

My mom came in the room and I jizzed all over her :(

Almost getting caught, good thing my mom knocks first before coming in.

not any yet .....

bump do not let this die

That one time where my willy fell off.

I once walked in on my Dad wanking. It was at night and I came in for something I dont remember, and he said instantly when I opened the door. "Malcolm can you go out please." I didn't see his wang but I know what he was doing coz the covers were down to his waist and his hands were in that area and I saw a lube bottle so I just calmly say "okay" and shut the door. Then I mouth the words "HOLY SHIT!"

Also one time I was at my Mum's and I was in the lounge on my matress on the floor where I sleep watching some random movie called "lets go to prison" (not porn its a comedy rly funny). And I was horny so I'm lien there "blowin mah load" when my Mum comes in. The door is behind me so I don't see her come in but I hear her and I cover my cock up and she just says "Malcolm you need to go to sleep soon" and I just say "okay" and she walks off never to speak of it again lmao.

At 6/14/08 03:02 AM, Skulsta wrote: Then I mouth the words "HOLY SHIT!"

Should've said it at the top of your voice and run out of the house crying...

the scariest masturbation moment for me is when someone bumps a really old thread. it makes my nuts suck right back into my body for real.

At 6/13/08 03:14 PM, ngman7 wrote:

You'll must have bad parents or something-if my brother or I had done that my mother would have torn our butts up.

You got some psycho ass parents. Getting beat for masturbating?

At 4/17/08 06:21 AM, fishboy121 wrote: one time i cummed in the bath and it went in my ear
the next day it fell out all dry and crispy
i was like "gah"

For you dude., For you

man all these posts are funny and suck so much i've been cought a few times none really funny other than the the time i attacked my sister when she ran to tell i kick the crap out of my sister on a daily basis cuz she's a bitch and what sucks is she is going out with my bestfriend and what's even funnier is that i love her best friend (hot ass asian girl)