Forum Topic: Scarriest Masturbation Moments

(35,102 views • 660 replies)

New Topic Post Reply

This topic is 23 pages long. [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 91623 ]

<< < > >>
Blushing

heavymetalclock

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 11:44 AM

heavymetalclock FAB LEVEL 10

Sign-Up: 08/15/07

Posts: 227

My mom was right outside of the bathroom when I was doing it, I had the door locked but she heard me grunt or something and asked what was I doing. I fell off the seat becasue she scared me so bad. Then I was like, "trying to get back on the seat after you scared the bejesus out of me". THank fully she never knew what I was doing.

Come chat with me. I always up for some fun. <3 you Keith my soulmate forever.


None

X-Gary-Gigax-X

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 11:53 AM

X-Gary-Gigax-X NEUTRAL LEVEL 24

Sign-Up: 12/03/05

Posts: 6,816

One time, I used hand sanitizer (purel) as a lube for fapping, when suddenly, a bunch of it slips down my penis!! I feel it going down my dick...all cold and stingy...I was so afraid something bad would happen to my peter. =(

hsgeisdhesduenskalwidmfjrjdjfidjmfm ekdmsjfjjfjd

BBS Signature

None

X-Gary-Gigax-X

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 11:59 AM

X-Gary-Gigax-X NEUTRAL LEVEL 24

Sign-Up: 12/03/05

Posts: 6,816

At 10/13/07 11:58 AM, Whitcomb wrote:
WORST NIGHT EVER D:

Oog, I feel especially bad for you.

hsgeisdhesduenskalwidmfjrjdjfidjmfm ekdmsjfjjfjd

BBS Signature

Sad

heavymetalclock

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 12:01 PM

heavymetalclock FAB LEVEL 10

Sign-Up: 08/15/07

Posts: 227

Same here.

Come chat with me. I always up for some fun. <3 you Keith my soulmate forever.


None

Snigendepind

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 12:52 PM

Snigendepind NEUTRAL LEVEL 06

Sign-Up: 04/15/07

Posts: 52

At 10/13/07 11:58 AM, Whitcomb wrote:
WORST NIGHT EVER D:

That must have been SOOOO embarrasing!
D:

All your base... XD

BBS Signature

None

1Ghost2

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 01:23 PM

1Ghost2 DARK LEVEL 04

Sign-Up: 07/21/07

Posts: 143

I got a story...

Ok, so i was jerking it to some shit , forget where, when my dog ,half asleep, runs into the end table, hits her head, and so worried about my dog i didnt bother to pull my pants up , so i rush to pick her up to see shes alright, when my mom walks in saying, "what was that noi...", and before she could finish the sentence she saw me standing there, pants around my ankles, holding my little chihuahau(not sure how to spell it), all i could say was"...Fuck"


None

kindmortal

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 05:08 PM

kindmortal EVIL LEVEL 09

Sign-Up: 06/18/07

Posts: 1,452

At 10/13/07 01:23 PM, 1Ghost2 wrote: I got a story...

"what was that noi...", and before she could finish the sentence she saw me standing there, pants around my ankles, holding my little chihuahau(not sure how to spell it), all i could say was"...Fuck"

HA HA Your mum thinks your in to beasttality.

No but it's never happend to me. I'm the fap master.

I fucked my signature away.

BBS Signature

Elated

sonikuu1

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 05:16 PM

sonikuu1 NEUTRAL LEVEL 17

Sign-Up: 03/26/07

Posts: 171

Oh my god these are so freaking funny

Awsome sig coming to a forum near you!! (Maybe)
Funniest thread ever!!
"hey shut the fuck up or ill post about you on my livejournal and tell every one to insult your ass"


Elated

Aurion

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 05:37 PM

Aurion LIGHT LEVEL 12

Sign-Up: 07/31/06

Posts: 1,136

At 10/13/07 01:23 PM, 1Ghost2 wrote: I got a story...

Ok, so i was jerking it to some shit , forget where, when my dog ,half asleep, runs into the end table, hits her head, and so worried about my dog

Lol! That is so fucking funny. They must have taken your dog away and sent you to the psycologist.

I don't care what you think, as long as it is about me .: Folie a Deux:. Nov,4th

BBS Signature

Elated

sonikuu1

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 05:40 PM

sonikuu1 NEUTRAL LEVEL 17

Sign-Up: 03/26/07

Posts: 171

At 10/13/07 05:37 PM, Trunks2 wrote:
At 10/13/07 01:23 PM, 1Ghost2 wrote: I got a story...

Ok, so i was jerking it to some shit , forget where, when my dog ,half asleep, runs into the end table, hits her head, and so worried about my dog
Lol! That is so fucking funny. They must have taken your dog away and sent you to the psycologist.

LMFAO!!!!!!!

Awsome sig coming to a forum near you!! (Maybe)
Funniest thread ever!!
"hey shut the fuck up or ill post about you on my livejournal and tell every one to insult your ass"


None

Jeffaro

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 05:43 PM

Jeffaro EVIL LEVEL 15

Sign-Up: 10/14/05

Posts: 1,930

To keep it short I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and I forgot to close all of the windowsa on my computer..Someone happened to walk in and I ran back in and closed the windows really fast so they didnt see it..I was lucky..The person had no clue what I was looking at.

Kids close all of your porn before you go out to wash your hands or else..And dont forget to use soap!


None

masterguy-1243

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 05:46 PM

masterguy-1243 FAB LEVEL 16

Sign-Up: 09/27/06

Posts: 1,950

I don't have one, but I caught my friend. Ok, I was over his house, and he was on his labtop when I was taking a crap, so when I come down, hes watching Naruto Hentai, and I said to him," I know that you like Naruto, but is it necessary to watch Naruto,Sauske, and Sakura have a threesome?"


None

DarkSytze

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/13/07 05:49 PM

DarkSytze EVIL LEVEL 17

Sign-Up: 02/17/03

Posts: 11,354

Never been caught, but there was this time where I was fapping and without me knowing my mom told me to stop flapping around a piece of paper, how is fap a flap?

BBS Signature

None

DementedNation

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 01:32 PM

DementedNation DARK LEVEL 07

Sign-Up: 10/08/07

Posts: 340

<Bump>


Sad

DeanOverboard

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 01:32 PM

DeanOverboard DARK LEVEL 06

Sign-Up: 04/19/06

Posts: 298

Stop bumping month old threads plox

bump?

None

KipptheCool

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 01:42 PM

KipptheCool LIGHT LEVEL 04

Sign-Up: 03/16/07

Posts: 1,608

...she saw me standing there, pants around my ankles, holding my little chihuahau(not sure how to
spell it), all i could say was"...Fuck"

Maybe she though you were raping the dog.

Long time, no see!

BBS Signature

None

poryon2

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 01:50 PM

poryon2 FAB LEVEL 08

Sign-Up: 07/05/06

Posts: 853

I was just fapping along, and I always keep open alot of other programs on to spam the taskbar, so no one will see the erotic url. My dad came in, I stopped fapping, and quickly clicked another url. He said I had to restart my computer. Well, instead of clicking "start", I accidentally clicked the porn link. Luckily, he didn't notice(the only nudie parts their were tits, and they were hard to notice, also it was a hentai comic). So I closed the hentai page, and restarted my computer, but almost got caught.

Decode my sig. People who have: 6
666th post.
Smash Code: 3523-1709-2509

BBS Signature

None

Shadow4102

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 02:22 PM

Shadow4102 DARK LEVEL 08

Sign-Up: 09/28/07

Posts: 1,134

well, i didn't quite get caught, but almost, my friend just got done sucking me off, and he didn't want me to blast it in his mouth, so he told me to alert him, i did, and he jsut told me to finish, and bust it on his wall, well whenever his dogs here a noise, they bark like crazy, i hit the wall with my hand and his dogs barked, i jsut jumped to hsi other bed, pulled over a blanket and acted as if i was sleepin, and his mom walked in, scary moments, if she woulda known that me and him did that, she probably would have made him stop hanging out with me, she's a redneck, not a good thing there

Indeed I still love you...

BBS Signature

None

KipptheCool

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 02:23 PM

KipptheCool LIGHT LEVEL 04

Sign-Up: 03/16/07

Posts: 1,608

I was jerking off and somebody knocked on the window of the room it was in, and it turned out to be my friend.

Long time, no see!

BBS Signature

Misunderstood

XkakiharaX

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 02:28 PM

XkakiharaX DARK LEVEL 04

Sign-Up: 07/18/07

Posts: 555

lets see....running around with a boner ....for a week....(seriously no shit)

statement:my subplot in the mspaint brawl: a webcomic???
°-][deviantART][-°°-][sheezyart][-°
°-][the frickin' repo-man !][-°

BBS Signature

None

Snakemaster-13

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 02:33 PM

Snakemaster-13 EVIL LEVEL 14

Sign-Up: 07/08/06

Posts: 1,736

Chafing. That's all I have to say.

"Will someone shove a pack of Skittles so far up this faggot's ass that he tastes the friggin rainbow?" -demonofthehiddenmist
Epic cock joke! | Best photoshop thread ever!

BBS Signature

None

TheSovereign

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 03:13 PM

TheSovereign EVIL LEVEL 15

Sign-Up: 03/08/05

Posts: 4,311

Since I'm not an idiot, I've never been caught. However, at my friends house, while typing in newgrounds, I get a bunch of shit saying: dildos, lesbians, big tits, ect. I ignore it and proceed to NG to play some games. After awhile his mom busts in and asked me what's up with all the porn history on the computer I was just on. Luckily my friends brother saw that I was indeed on NG and said:"All he does is go on Newgrounds.".

Also some tips for not getting caught:

1) Never download porn! It won't take long for somebody to stumble upon your stash!

2) Make sure nobody can see you. Close the blinds, close the door (and lock it), fill any seems people could peep through, put the computer far away from the door, ect.

3) Don't disrobe, there is no need to have your pants to your ankles. Just unzip your fly and lower your under pants a bit. If you can manage to fap inside your pants, do so.

BBS Signature

None

ProBo

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 03:38 PM

ProBo NEUTRAL LEVEL 08

Sign-Up: 06/15/07

Posts: 840

Before I had a laptop and the only computer we had was in the living room, my mom left to go out with some friends. I was grounded and had nothing to do so i decided to fap. I procceded to do so, when I hear the front door being unlocked. I hit alt f4 and sprinted into the bathroom with my pants at my knees. Luckily, it closed (normaly it freezes when i close stuff) and I told my mom i was going to the bethroom. she had forgoton something. then she said she needed to get directions to the place she was going. she had pulled it up earlier so she clicked history. she comleatly lookedover tons of porn sites, clicked on the link to the place, printed it, and left. After that, I waited half an hour after she left before i did anything.

Hmmm?

BBS Signature

Shouting

Killarfromspace

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 04:25 PM

Killarfromspace NEUTRAL LEVEL 09

Sign-Up: 04/16/07

Posts: 137

Me and my bro has a double bed, when i was sleeping i suddenly wake up by hearing fapping noices then i hear: ah uh hh ah ah and i started moving and such then it stopped.

Fucking disgusting if you ask me

I'm better than you.


Shouting

CheezNapkin

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 04:35 PM

CheezNapkin LIGHT LEVEL 08

Sign-Up: 04/06/04

Posts: 4,745

Once I spent like 2 hours jerking it, when I was done I looked down...

and my hand was covered in blood...

I looked down at my dick and it turned out I cut myself from fapping to hard. I washed the blood off, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

Moral of the story: Use hand lotion, kiddies.

EAT A REEF

BBS Signature

None

ZpLiNtEh

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/14/07 04:43 PM

ZpLiNtEh DARK LEVEL 15

Sign-Up: 06/12/04

Posts: 2,669

well I havnt actually been caught as of yet, but a few months ago I was bored, and my dad was asleep downstairs, so I thought i might as well pop on the DvD I know he has hidden in a drawer, as just as i finish, he comes walking up the stairs. >.< i quickly runed the tv off but couldnt get the disc out, and chucked the case behind a set of drawers lol. he moved the dvd after that D:
also today my mother almost caught me, I was ABOUT to jack off to some vids on pichunter and she walked in and scared the shit outta me, i literally jumped lol. quickly closed the Ps3's browser tho and pulled my shirt down :p

The Black Dahlia Murder own your soul.... |
I lurrrve metal \m/ |
PS360 owner, and proud, fuck off fanboys |


Elated

PieGraphGlock

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/27/07 10:13 AM

PieGraphGlock LIGHT LEVEL 23

Sign-Up: 02/15/07

Posts: 312

This thread has made me feel much better about myself.

"Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master."
- George Washington

BBS Signature

None

namanert

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/27/07 10:38 AM

namanert LIGHT LEVEL 07

Sign-Up: 09/05/07

Posts: 182

At 8/23/07 06:36 AM, CptxMorgan wrote:

"son you're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air."

You just made my day.

BBS Signature

None

Complete

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/27/07 10:39 AM

Complete LIGHT LEVEL 27

Sign-Up: 07/27/06

Posts: 6,472

I remember I was jacking off, then I accidentally snapped off my cock.


None

SCUD14

Reply to Post Reply & Quote

Posted at: 10/27/07 10:52 AM

SCUD14 FAB LEVEL 27

Sign-Up: 06/26/06

Posts: 5,753

ok, so you know when your cock doesnt want to go? a little sore? Well, my wang was a bit dry, so i go and get the baby oil from my mums bathroom. im in the family bathroom, doin my thing, and i blow my load. All over my shirt. worse, my mum, brother and sister all come back from shopping. So i have to pull some mission impossible shit, darting across the stairs and down to my room so i can change.

the next day i walk past the bathroom and my mum goes 'why is my baby oil in here?'

I fucking leg it downstairs like a sprinter.

scud14@hotmail.co.uk
OH PROFESSOR!
XBL: MY BIG MACHETE--------------Steam ID: MrScud

BBS Signature

All times are Eastern Standard Time (GMT -5) | Current Time: 05:36 PM

<< Back

This topic is 23 pages long. [ 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 91623 ]

<< < > >>
You need a Grounds Gold Account to post on the NG BBS! If you don't have one, click here to sign up now! It's fast, free, and easy — and opens up tons of great NG features!