I don't have one, but I caught my friend. Ok, I was over his house, and he was on his labtop when I was taking a crap, so when I come down, hes watching Naruto Hentai, and I said to him," I know that you like Naruto, but is it necessary to watch Naruto,Sauske, and Sakura have a threesome?"

<Bump>

Stop bumping month old threads plox

bump?

...she saw me standing there, pants around my ankles, holding my little chihuahau(not sure how to
spell it), all i could say was"...Fuck"

Maybe she though you were raping the dog.

I was just fapping along, and I always keep open alot of other programs on to spam the taskbar, so no one will see the erotic url. My dad came in, I stopped fapping, and quickly clicked another url. He said I had to restart my computer. Well, instead of clicking "start", I accidentally clicked the porn link. Luckily, he didn't notice(the only nudie parts their were tits, and they were hard to notice, also it was a hentai comic). So I closed the hentai page, and restarted my computer, but almost got caught.

well, i didn't quite get caught, but almost, my friend just got done sucking me off, and he didn't want me to blast it in his mouth, so he told me to alert him, i did, and he jsut told me to finish, and bust it on his wall, well whenever his dogs here a noise, they bark like crazy, i hit the wall with my hand and his dogs barked, i jsut jumped to hsi other bed, pulled over a blanket and acted as if i was sleepin, and his mom walked in, scary moments, if she woulda known that me and him did that, she probably would have made him stop hanging out with me, she's a redneck, not a good thing there

I was jerking off and somebody knocked on the window of the room it was in, and it turned out to be my friend.

lets see....running around with a boner ....for a week....(seriously no shit)

Chafing. That's all I have to say.

Since I'm not an idiot, I've never been caught. However, at my friends house, while typing in newgrounds, I get a bunch of shit saying: dildos, lesbians, big tits, ect. I ignore it and proceed to NG to play some games. After awhile his mom busts in and asked me what's up with all the porn history on the computer I was just on. Luckily my friends brother saw that I was indeed on NG and said:"All he does is go on Newgrounds.".

Also some tips for not getting caught:

1) Never download porn! It won't take long for somebody to stumble upon your stash!

2) Make sure nobody can see you. Close the blinds, close the door (and lock it), fill any seems people could peep through, put the computer far away from the door, ect.

3) Don't disrobe, there is no need to have your pants to your ankles. Just unzip your fly and lower your under pants a bit. If you can manage to fap inside your pants, do so.

Before I had a laptop and the only computer we had was in the living room, my mom left to go out with some friends. I was grounded and had nothing to do so i decided to fap. I procceded to do so, when I hear the front door being unlocked. I hit alt f4 and sprinted into the bathroom with my pants at my knees. Luckily, it closed (normaly it freezes when i close stuff) and I told my mom i was going to the bethroom. she had forgoton something. then she said she needed to get directions to the place she was going. she had pulled it up earlier so she clicked history. she comleatly lookedover tons of porn sites, clicked on the link to the place, printed it, and left. After that, I waited half an hour after she left before i did anything.

Me and my bro has a double bed, when i was sleeping i suddenly wake up by hearing fapping noices then i hear: ah uh hh ah ah and i started moving and such then it stopped.

Fucking disgusting if you ask me

Once I spent like 2 hours jerking it, when I was done I looked down...

and my hand was covered in blood...

I looked down at my dick and it turned out I cut myself from fapping to hard. I washed the blood off, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

Moral of the story: Use hand lotion, kiddies.

well I havnt actually been caught as of yet, but a few months ago I was bored, and my dad was asleep downstairs, so I thought i might as well pop on the DvD I know he has hidden in a drawer, as just as i finish, he comes walking up the stairs. >.< i quickly runed the tv off but couldnt get the disc out, and chucked the case behind a set of drawers lol. he moved the dvd after that D:
also today my mother almost caught me, I was ABOUT to jack off to some vids on pichunter and she walked in and scared the shit outta me, i literally jumped lol. quickly closed the Ps3's browser tho and pulled my shirt down :p

This thread has made me feel much better about myself.

At 8/23/07 06:36 AM, CptxMorgan wrote:

"son you're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air."

You just made my day.

I remember I was jacking off, then I accidentally snapped off my cock.

ok, so you know when your cock doesnt want to go? a little sore? Well, my wang was a bit dry, so i go and get the baby oil from my mums bathroom. im in the family bathroom, doin my thing, and i blow my load. All over my shirt. worse, my mum, brother and sister all come back from shopping. So i have to pull some mission impossible shit, darting across the stairs and down to my room so i can change.

the next day i walk past the bathroom and my mum goes 'why is my baby oil in here?'

I fucking leg it downstairs like a sprinter.

One time I masturbated on my dog.

I was sitting back in a chair yanking it when all of a sudden i hear stomping up the stairs so i panic and run to the bathroom, forgetting to turn of the fucking porn offD:

Well i came down stairs after taking a shower and was confronted by my sister and her friend who were giving me weird looks. Fucking awkward shit as it is, my sister tells me she caught me beating it to porn and her friend looks at me and gives me a look of disgust.

My mother found out and beat the shit out me and had her boyfriend beat the piss out of me. (it was his porn afterall though) Now there is always an awkward silence whenever my FUCKING SISTER thinks its funny to tell people the fucking story when i am in a normal conversatuion with people i like.

When i used to get bad stomach aches I would grab my groin, strangly that made the pain go away but I didnt jerk it when doing this. So i was kinda sleepy and i was laying on my couch watching tv. A couple of seconds later I was awoken by my sister saying "What are you doing"? and i jumped from my sleep with my hands down my pants.

I tried to explain how it was because of a pain in my stomach and groin but she wouldnt listen. Awkward silence happened the rest of the week with my family.

I remember when I was masturbating in the bathroom with my grandma home, hoping she wouldn't find out about what I'm doing. So I made sure I locked the door, and after some time she tries to open and says, "Can I come in?" so im like "almost done" so after 10 mins i thought she was pissed off, so later on she open the door with a key! She catches me, and i get grounded for a week. Lol

When I'm masturbating, I'm never scared.

At 10/27/07 11:48 AM, mothballs wrote: She catches me, and i get grounded for a week. Lol

grounded for beatin your shit? Hillarious

once i started to get to down to some lonly love to some internet porn but forgot that was an akward msn conversation.

At 2/14/07 09:50 PM, <deleted> wrote:

At 2/14/07 09:43 PM, 5hoot wrote: What was the scarriest thing that ever happened while you were jerking off. As in getting caught. Or changing a babys diaper while jerking off.

Jerking off while reading a certain thread from a certain 5hoot

What happened here!?!

At 8/21/07 09:43 PM, RedCoin wrote: When I really did go blind.

Braille computer?

once i started to get to down to some lonly love to some internet porn but forgot that my web cam was still on that was an akward msn conversation.

At 10/27/07 12:01 PM, MOST-REQUESTED wrote: once i started to get to down to some lonly love to some internet porn but forgot that my web cam was still on that was an akward msn conversation.

rofl, who were you talking to?

lol looks like much ppl here have parents who thinks its awfull to beat ur meat xD

anyway, i NEVER get caught! thats to 3 things, only useable when fapping in ur room:

1. my computer has some kind of storage thingy you only can see when you enter a password (you cant even find it), meaning i can down porn :D

2. my room most of the time is pretty cold, so i take that ting from my bed (how is it called again?) and put it around my when fapping, so when someone walks in they dont see it :D

3. my room is on the 2nd floor, and i hear it when someone comes up the stairs, so i only fap when nobody's upstairs, and always with curtains closed :D

rlly works!