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I used soap.

I was masturbating while giving my 8 year old sister head, while my dad taped us and linked it to youtube.

Then mom came and she got really angry because nobody told her it was that day. So she raped dad with a rake.

SCAREEEEEY

At 8/21/07 10:34 PM, Falling-Angel wrote:

At 8/21/07 10:33 PM, cosmicrandom wrote: Well i was just doin the shit when i saw an incredibly hot link. so i really jacked off and i exploded uber jizz all over my damn face >:(

link plz?

dunno the actual link but it was on www.fuckingmachines.com
the bitch was cumming like fucking crazy.

At 8/21/07 10:40 PM, NeoSoviet wrote: I was masturbating while giving my 8 year old sister head, while my dad taped us and linked it to youtube.

Then mom came and she got really angry because nobody told her it was that day. So she raped dad with a rake.

SCAREEEEEY

Obviously fake. Youtube link or something for proof if you want to push it.

Onto my happenings, I had done it like normal. I never got interupted or anything. Middle of the night, silent. Comp on quiet so no one could hear except me. The cat comes down stairs silently and comes up in front of my chair when I am not looking. He just sits there a while I guess and when I cannot hold it any longer he decides to jump on my lap. I was like "Holy SHIT!" I hear a stir in the house so I didn't bother cleaning up anything except the cat first. Thankfully the stir was just the wind.

Thank GOD (is this how I do the black?)

Man, just reading this thread scares the crap out of me. I have a story too, but it's long so I'll type it out later.

At 2/14/07 09:47 PM, 5hoot wrote:

At 2/14/07 09:46 PM, McFooFa wrote: Probably just gettin' it all over my pants. =/

I just lick it off my diaper when that happens.

you must be in a special home

i came blood once

'nuff said

At 8/21/07 10:52 PM, fivepoint wrote: i came blood once

'nuff said

dude thats freaking scary

At 8/21/07 10:56 PM, Dante-Son-Of-Sparda wrote: epic bump up

bump

At 8/21/07 10:45 PM, Manhangi wrote:

At 8/21/07 10:40 PM, NeoSoviet wrote: I was masturbating while giving my 8 year old sister head, while my dad taped us and linked it to youtube.

Then mom came and she got really angry because nobody told her it was that day. So she raped dad with a rake.

SCAREEEEEY

Obviously fake. Youtube link or something for proof if you want to push it.

NO SHIT! Did you actually believe for a second that they would be that incentsitive not to invite thier mother?

This one time, me and my mom were fighting about something, but for some unrelated reason I was really horny. So a few minutes after we stop, I go in my room and just start wanking it. So my pants are around my ankles, and I'm beatin my meat when all the sudden I hear a knock and hear "Matt?" This is when I realize my doors not locked. Some how, I manage to pull up my pants far enough and my shirt low enough, my pants not zipped or anything, that when she opens my door she doesn't notice anything strange.

The Princess is in another castle.

When my chair broke as I was masturbating. I leaned back and the seat popped off the base. I proceeded to laugh hysterically since I just flipped backwards while cumming.

At 8/21/07 10:45 PM, Manhangi wrote: Obviously fake. Youtube link or something for proof if you want to push it.

Thank you detective. I would have never guessed that.

At 8/22/07 12:16 AM, Grammar-Nazi wrote: The Princess is in another castle.

Who said anything about the princess?

When me and 3 guys were all wanking and sucking each other off, then i released my 4 litre load into their mouths.

Then we all hugged and kissed.

At 8/22/07 12:27 AM, Whomper wrote: When me and 3 guys were all wanking and sucking each other off, then i released my 4 litre load into their mouths.

Then we all hugged and kissed.

...

At 8/21/07 10:41 PM, cosmicrandom wrote:

At 8/21/07 10:34 PM, Falling-Angel wrote:

At 8/21/07 10:33 PM, cosmicrandom wrote: Well i was just doin the shit when i saw an incredibly hot link. so i really jacked off and i exploded uber jizz all over my damn face >:(

link plz?

dunno the actual link but it was on www.fuckingmachines.com
the bitch was cumming like fucking crazy.

Oooh. Love those kinds of things. I don't know why metal and rubber fucking a woman at 300RPM turns me on.

Anyways, I had this urge to relieve myself when my cousins were over. As soon as I reached my tipping point, one of my cousins burst through the door asking if I knew where the hair-dryer was. I pretended to be asleep, and that's when she jumped onto my cum-laden bed.

I once jerked off to a porn screamer... I lost my hard on so fast :(

I was watching porn... turns out it was a screamer. About 5 minutes into it, dick in my hands I heard a horrible, loud scream and some zombie face jump out of nowhere... I had my headphones on aswell so that only made it worse.

My dick went soft and I sat in a corner for about 10 minutes... crying.

Damn, I wish I had a story to tell!

This thread wins.

umm...i dunno, but THIS THREAD IS EPIC!

Every masturbation moment is scary if you're masturbating to snuff.

as before shall be done again

Epic bump

At 8/22/07 09:22 PM, The-word-destroyer wrote: as before shall be done again

Epic bump

epic rebump

There was this time i was at my house all alone, I got bored and started jacking off on the floor. I was masturbating for 5mins and suddenly my pittbull walks in the room and starts LICKING IT. I shouterd "BITCH!!!! GET OFF ME!!!" I was fricken scared that she might like the taste and start eating. She eventually went away and had to bathe my penis in a cup of water.

Ok. This was REALLY BAD! I was in my porn infancy(not a child beating it), and I wanted to get rid of my browsing history. I really deleted the bookmarks that my family used. My dad went looking through it and they found all of what i've ever looked at (the URL's at least). It was hentai BTW. Anyway, my parents call me in and I'm not even expecting it. The next thing I hear was from my mom.

"What is hentai sluts?"

At this point, I know what is gonna happen yet I'm still ignorant. I start blushing like crazy and my parents told me that I shouldn't do what i'm doing. My dad says I should "save it(the fluid) instead of wasting it and my mom said she's disappointed. I walk away and I turn back and say

"Well you know i'm not gay now so there." I think that moment really defined the person I'd be. Take the awkward moments and spin it into some form of mild humor. Honestly, that was as weird as when I used Vicks Vaporub as lube. Ow!

At 8/23/07 02:47 AM, porter9 wrote: I was masturbating for 5mins and suddenly my pittbull walks in the room and starts LICKING IT.

Ugh, that thought makes me shudder; those damn dogs :x

accidently biting down