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i was jerkin off in my room and my trophy fell off the shelf and it scared me so i jumped out of the chair to make sure it didnt break, tripped over m radio and landed penis first right onto the trophy. it was a baseball tropthy and i landed on this part with the baseball bat sticking up and scratched up my cock. there also was cum all over my floor and trophy. thankfully the thing was in one piece so i wiped it off. my mom heard me fall and came in to see me masturbating when there is cum on the floor and slightly on my bed. she told me to go to sleep and ated like nothing happened. it was scary i thought i was in big trouble.

My Story:

I was looking at some XXX vids when my mom comes up and says "What are you doing" Then I minimized it and said "playing line rider" But the title was "TEEN FUCK FEST" She said nothing.

this was a close call...

i was "doin my thing" in the darkness of my room when my brother thinks it would be funny to hit me with tazer. l heard him come in just in time for me to take my hand off michael jr. once that tazer hit me my muscles contracted and my hand closed...HARD!! good thing i got away in time or i wouldnt be a man anymore!!

so im sittin there looking around for some porn and i find this great video of this chick, so im going at it and like 5 minutes in that face from the maze screamer pops up and screams.

i thought i'd broke it, and i was afraid of porn for a good week

one time I was up at like 2:00 a.m. and my moms out of town so im watching porn when my dad walks into the computer room with no pants on. I look at him and he looks at me and both of us being very tired finally realized the situation after like 10 sec. of staring and then I get up pull up my pants walk past him and say "your turn" and he says "shut the hell up" the next morning we didnt say a word to each other.

These are fucking hilarious.

Once I was fapping vigorously and nearing climax, just to hear the sound of my dad get out of his chair, and start walking my way...I quickly closed the porn, and scooted into my desk so everything below the belt wasn't showing....but my penis rubbed against the thing that holds my keyboard, right as my dad started talking about trains or something. I hold back all noises, and ignore him, looking at the screen pretending to do something, as my worst orgasm ever goes on. He finally left, and I quickly changed clothes.

Privacy is nonexistant in this house, I swear.

I didn't masturbate for the first time 'til I was 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 2/14/07 09:43 PM, 5hoot wrote: What was the scarriest thing that ever happened while you were jerking off. As in getting caught. Or changing a babys diaper while jerking off.

O.k. here is mine. Now the computer is in the living room because my mom doesn't quite trust us, we have porn anyway but that is beside the point. Now my mom was sitting in a chair that is at the very end of the room facing the computer and it was about 2 in the morning and she was doing her needle point. Now there is a chair in front of her that will obstruct the view of the person sitting at the comp as well as the screen, but you can see the head of whoever is at the computer. Knowing this I put a basket on the chair to obstruct the view of my head.

I looked up some porn and started to masturbate and all was going well, my mom couldn't see me at all. Now I must have gotten into it to much because I started to cause vibrations through the floor which knocked the basket over. THUD I heard as the basket smacked the floor my mom gave me a surprised look and I returned the look. At that moment I was thinking 'oh god damn it fuck fuck fuck'. I am not sure if she saw me or if she knew what I was doing but I pulled up my pants and lifted the basket up and then finished off in the bathroom.

At 8/21/07 09:40 PM, Hellian00 wrote: He saw the porn(hentai), and said "What the fuck kind of porn is that?" It was bad. I got in troubble for :keeping my door locked and having porn. He just acted like he never say my load dumped everywhere.

You wank over hentai you are a loser lol that is the weirdest thing ever seriously fucked up shit

At 10/29/07 04:26 PM, saqwert wrote: getting too violent and accidently ripping my foreskin. it started to bleed and hurt real bad, but that didnt stop me.

Lol ive done this it hurts for like 2 weeks i needed medical help but was too embarassed to say anything

At 8/21/07 09:29 PM, cUmOrAhKiD wrote: I was masturbating and my sister's friend walked in, she then said how about i finish masturbating for you. Needless to say i was like sure, her and i now enjoy masturbating eachother twice a week.

Go rape a cow, you lying postwhore.

Jesus loves you, bitch. Halle-fuckin-lujah.

At 10/29/07 05:07 PM, IHateVista wrote: When my cum turned yellow.

That's called Gonnorrhea, you should ask your doctor who he got it from.

At 10/29/07 11:33 PM, ZagmenO wrote: I didn't masturbate for the first time 'til I was 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it was to gay furry porn!!! HURRAY!

No comment, ezekielthe13th...
Um... Weren't you supposed to be talking about "scarriest?"
If you mean the halloween scary, it's spelled without that second r.
Sounds like you have some gayass fetish that your mom drove you to believe was faith at age 3 and now you cant stop fapping and fapping until your dick bleeds and you say "oh yes this is the meaning of life!"

Masochist.

At 8/23/07 03:31 AM, Trampalite wrote: Am I the only one who feals weird doing it with a dog in the room?

besteality joke ftw

If my cat or dog walks in I feel as if it's a person I'll hide it and go clean up.

Here's a good site guy's www.badjojo.com it's youtube but porn

At 10/12/07 11:04 PM, Resist-Refuse wrote:

Also, I jizzed so hard one time, it hit my shoulder lol.

Lol I hit my head once, HEADSHOT!

" I manage to pull up my pants far enough and my shirt low enough that she didn't notice"

Thats what i do i normal pull my shirt under my ass so it looks like all my pants are on

If my parents were like my brother id be happy to wank anywhere. I have only been caught once looking at porn didn't have my dick out or pants down. It was some naked French cooking some. All he said was "You shouldn't be looking at that." and walked away

At 10/5/07 11:51 AM, mfoot0 wrote: hmmmmm toughy probably when i splooged and hit the monitor had to clean it quick lol

How the hell does that happen? Do you put your dick right on the screen or something?

At 10/30/07 01:06 AM, tdobbin wrote:

At 8/23/07 03:31 AM, Trampalite wrote: Am I the only one who feals weird doing it with a dog in the room?

besteality joke ftw

If my cat or dog walks in I feel as if it's a person I'll hide it and go clean up.

God I feel that way too. It is fucking weird

Epic thread indeed.
Well, one time I was masturbating, my girlfriend called me and broke up with me via the phone. That was the saddest fap ever. EVAR. Never really been caught though.

".I was so afraid something bad would happen to my peter. =("

ROFL. Peter. LOL.

At 8/21/07 09:53 PM, Grimfenix wrote:

At 2/14/07 09:49 PM, Asteraith wrote: the lights went out. that might not sound scary, but at 2:00 in the morning, watching a porno with your dick in your hands, losing power can give you a real nasty jolt.

Hentai on Youtube.

What the fuck?

Im cursed for some reason. When ever i wank im going fine but as soon as anyone trys to come in my room to check what im doing the screens always freezes. I try to press x but it stops responding so the porn is up there and i cant do anything about it >.<

haha, My friend used to jack off when I was over at his house for the night. It was so awkward ><.

I'd be like "Sonny man, you need to stop" suddenly the fapping sound would stop, and he'd be like "Stop what?" "Whacking off!" "What the fuck dude? I'm not whacking off!" "Whatever".

5 minutes later I hear 'fap fap fap fap'

Almost every fucking time. It went on all night too. He never stopped till I could tell he finished, which was just gross.

At 10/30/07 02:32 AM, PhoenixGodwin wrote: haha, My friend used to jack off when I was over at his house for the night. It was so awkward ><.

I'd be like "Sonny man, you need to stop" suddenly the fapping sound would stop, and he'd be like "Stop what?" "Whacking off!" "What the fuck dude? I'm not whacking off!" "Whatever".

5 minutes later I hear 'fap fap fap fap'

Almost every fucking time. It went on all night too. He never stopped till I could tell he finished, which was just gross.

Could you smell it? I can smell a lot of things most people cant or just dont pay mind to, and masturbation involves a lot of hormones.

At 10/30/07 02:36 AM, Frost wrote:

Could you smell it? I can smell a lot of things most people cant or just dont pay mind to, and masturbation involves a lot of hormones.

Not discernibly. His room already smelled like Cat piss, Sex, and Dog shit all of the time.

I have another story for this thread.

I got caught once by my step dad. He used to ALWAYS be playing "Everquest", so I figured it was safe for a quick jerk- without needing to close the door. Suddenly I hear something that scares me nearly shitless: The words: "having fun?". I immediately tried to pathetically cover myself up by saying "my balls are itchy!" and scratching ferociously.

I was about 11 back then. Maybe 10

who would feel the need to bump a thread with 251 replies?!

Apparently me!

Sorry for double post