Forum Topic: Scarriest Masturbation Moments

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Deathsaw

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Posted at: 8/23/07 03:04 AM

Deathsaw EVIL LEVEL 23

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Posts: 4,404

Ok. This was REALLY BAD! I was in my porn infancy(not a child beating it), and I wanted to get rid of my browsing history. I really deleted the bookmarks that my family used. My dad went looking through it and they found all of what i've ever looked at (the URL's at least). It was hentai BTW. Anyway, my parents call me in and I'm not even expecting it. The next thing I hear was from my mom.

"What is hentai sluts?"

At this point, I know what is gonna happen yet I'm still ignorant. I start blushing like crazy and my parents told me that I shouldn't do what i'm doing. My dad says I should "save it(the fluid) instead of wasting it and my mom said she's disappointed. I walk away and I turn back and say

"Well you know i'm not gay now so there." I think that moment really defined the person I'd be. Take the awkward moments and spin it into some form of mild humor. Honestly, that was as weird as when I used Vicks Vaporub as lube. Ow!


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Darkagentx

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Posted at: 8/23/07 03:16 AM

Darkagentx LIGHT LEVEL 19

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Posts: 1,104

At 8/23/07 02:47 AM, porter9 wrote: I was masturbating for 5mins and suddenly my pittbull walks in the room and starts LICKING IT.

Ugh, that thought makes me shudder; those damn dogs :x


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PirateSprite

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Posted at: 8/23/07 03:25 AM

PirateSprite FAB LEVEL 05

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Posts: 435

accidently biting down


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Trampalite

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Posted at: 8/23/07 03:31 AM

Trampalite LIGHT LEVEL 25

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Am I the only one who feals weird doing it with a dog in the room?

besteality joke ftw

Jesusatan

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CuteAndFuzzy

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Posted at: 8/23/07 03:37 AM

CuteAndFuzzy LIGHT LEVEL 21

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Posts: 5,735

At 8/23/07 03:31 AM, Trampalite wrote: Am I the only one who feals weird doing it with a dog in the room?

besteality joke ftw

My dog sometimes lays down under my desk, and I forget hes there sometimes.

I look at him and he looks at me, so usually say "STOP LOOKING FAGGOT!"

and he does, lol smart dog =3

.

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Twitcher4

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Posted at: 8/23/07 03:39 AM

Twitcher4 EVIL LEVEL 06

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At 8/23/07 03:31 AM, Trampalite wrote: Am I the only one who feals weird doing it with a dog in the room?

besteality joke ftw

ya it is weird... especially when the dog is laying on ur bed staring at you while ur wankin to some pr0ns on 4chan at ur desk.

its very strange =/

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Twitcher4

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Posted at: 8/23/07 03:44 AM

Twitcher4 EVIL LEVEL 06

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Posts: 61

o ya.. my story... ok so i was in the middle of DL some pr0n off limewire (i know bad idea) and my fuckin mom walks in so i minimize limewire and for some reason she wants to use my computer and she see's limewire minimized and asks wut im DL without opening it, so i just say some music and thank god she believed me... cuz i was scared shitless. and i definately lost interest in yankin my krank that night... a true sad story D=

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Moron-With-Gun

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Posted at: 8/23/07 04:54 AM

Moron-With-Gun EVIL LEVEL 07

Sign-Up: 04/02/06

Posts: 1,021

I just have awkward moments. Mostly when I forget to get a towel to clean up, and have to walk across the room, over my dog (who thinks I'm going to let her out) with jizz covered hands and pants.


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Kronkus

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Posted at: 8/23/07 04:59 AM

Kronkus FAB LEVEL 10

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Posts: 660

having my mom come into my room in hug me i just put my legs up and she cxouilda thoguht i was just in my underwear


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Phyco13

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Posted at: 8/23/07 05:48 AM

Phyco13 EVIL LEVEL 11

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Posts: 173

thats so fucking funny i have never had that hapen to me i should be carefull lol

It will take 22659.252 days at the rate of 1.67 exp. per day to reach level 60. (Or 62 year(s), 755 month(s) and 9 day(s)). I will Live to see the day!!!!

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TamiyaGuy

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Posted at: 8/23/07 06:04 AM

TamiyaGuy LIGHT LEVEL 27

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At 8/23/07 03:04 AM, Deathsaw wrote: Honestly, that was as weird as when I used Vicks Vaporub as lube. Ow!

Now that's GOTTA smart!

And bump lol

Don't eat yellow snow, Pepsi and coke are the same thing, etc. Visit my webpage! (go on)
Can I eat your brain? pleeeaaase?
You now have a duty in life!!! Clean up Newgrounds!!

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Phyco13

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Posted at: 8/23/07 06:10 AM

Phyco13 EVIL LEVEL 11

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Posts: 173

all right i have a bad one. My mom makes me go on some church trip to Tennesee for like a week. Well by then i was kindof a regular and so i brought my psp( wich obiously has porn on it and we werent aloud to bring movies that arent christian or some shit so they went to check my psp and i said hold on a sec because i had to Well after that they questioned me and i say my psp picked up the porn fr some random reason to and acted like it was my first time seeing that. In the end it all worked out but they watched me very closely wen i was around the chicks. Im glad i dont go to church now.

It will take 22659.252 days at the rate of 1.67 exp. per day to reach level 60. (Or 62 year(s), 755 month(s) and 9 day(s)). I will Live to see the day!!!!

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Acronze

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Posted at: 8/23/07 06:26 AM

Acronze DARK LEVEL 17

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Posts: 436

At 8/22/07 01:01 AM, Kaworu-Ikari wrote:
Anyways, I had this urge to relieve myself when my cousins were over. As soon as I reached my tipping point, one of my cousins burst through the door asking if I knew where the hair-dryer was. I pretended to be asleep, and that's when she jumped onto my cum-laden bed.

Ahahaha, I've read all of the stories up to my posts point and this ones my favorite.

I don't have any good stories, sorry.


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hypern

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Posted at: 8/23/07 06:36 AM

hypern EVIL LEVEL 13

Sign-Up: 10/13/03

Posts: 714

I was never caught but I know people who have been caught blowing their load onto the mirror


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CptxMorgan

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Posted at: 8/23/07 06:36 AM

CptxMorgan FAB LEVEL 02

Sign-Up: 07/25/07

Posts: 376

Alright, so my fathers in the other room, passed out drunk and I decide to open of the movies in my pr0n folder. so you know, I get comfortable, open my fly and start whacking away. Of course eventually I get into it, fapping with the intensity of a thousand suns, barrel rolling in my seat whilst simultaneously keeping my eyes on the video. after a couple of minutes of this I hear a loud cough in the other room where my father was sleeping, I brushed it off as a sleep cough and keep fapping, too interested to merely allow my now raging hard on to disappear. After a second I hear my father scream "what the FUCK are you doing" before passing the fuck out on the couch, I shrivel up into a ball and hope that by the morning he doesn't care, but right when I woke up he said, "son you're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel-Air."

COCKBOLT FTW


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Phyco13

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Posted at: 8/23/07 06:37 AM

Phyco13 EVIL LEVEL 11

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Posts: 173

that 1 freaks me out :)

8====D~~~~~~~~~~~~O:

It will take 22659.252 days at the rate of 1.67 exp. per day to reach level 60. (Or 62 year(s), 755 month(s) and 9 day(s)). I will Live to see the day!!!!

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EvilJesus

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Posted at: 8/23/07 07:12 AM

EvilJesus FAB LEVEL 29

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Posts: 6,331

At 2/14/07 10:02 PM, EnconXV wrote: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE THOSE SOUNDS!"

Holy shit, it scared me shitless.

Best fucking thing ever!

I am drunk, drunk is me WHEEE
CapnCrunchDaPimp, The Captain of this mother fucking boat!
The Professors!

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NarutoFanatic

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Posted at: 8/23/07 07:21 AM

NarutoFanatic FAB LEVEL 18

Sign-Up: 07/27/06

Posts: 480

Just getting caught the first time was the baddest for me.

And for everyone else, I lol'd

I hate you. Get over it

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laine45

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Posted at: 8/23/07 07:24 AM

laine45 EVIL LEVEL 09

Sign-Up: 06/12/07

Posts: 45

At 8/22/07 01:02 AM, Wesleyiam wrote: I once jerked off to a porn screamer... I lost my hard on so fast :(

lol that must have sucked anyways one time my mom caught me


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snapper5

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Posted at: 8/23/07 07:43 AM

snapper5 NEUTRAL LEVEL 08

Sign-Up: 08/13/05

Posts: 1,193

there was this one time, where i like jacked off, and this guy backflipped on a bull screwing an elephant with a dildo and they were rideing some bycicles! how strange was that

and yes, thats not true, if someone belived all that then im going crazy

i'm an asshole
this is my asshole page
thats my asshole signature down there

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BugOfBelgium

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Posted at: 8/23/07 07:56 AM

BugOfBelgium LIGHT LEVEL 08

Sign-Up: 08/12/07

Posts: 106

I've never been caught :p
Almost tho, I just hided behind the door waiting for my dad to go away :D

Yes, that worked, strange eh?

Apart from that I've never been close to getting caught, thank you photographic memory ^^

This treath deserves somekind of award btw :D

The bitch took my fucking cookie.

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IronKoala

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Posted at: 8/23/07 08:20 AM

IronKoala LIGHT LEVEL 05

Sign-Up: 01/03/07

Posts: 1,391

At 8/21/07 09:29 PM, cUmOrAhKiD wrote: I was masturbating and my sister's friend walked in, she then said how about i finish masturbating for you. Needless to say i was like sure, her and i now enjoy masturbating eachother twice a week.

Yeah... sure, because internet dont lie!

"My friends call me 'The Cane.' Even before I messed up my leg."
- [H]ouse

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one-two-conspiracy

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Posted at: 8/23/07 08:28 AM

one-two-conspiracy NEUTRAL LEVEL 02

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At 8/21/07 10:24 PM, IndyKid500 wrote: Once I had been using liquid soap as lube for a while, so I got pretty dry until one time a little thread of skin connecting the head and the shaft broke.

I thought I had broken my penis.

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!


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Aliensandwich

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Posted at: 8/28/07 11:28 PM

Aliensandwich EVIL LEVEL 19

Sign-Up: 10/21/06

Posts: 5,717

A few minuites ago, when my mom knocked on my door suspiciously while I was jerkin of to some hot girl from my school's myspace.

My mom kept knocking and she was like "what's going on in there??"

I quickly got up (exited tha internetz) and said "Oh oops sorry I was asleep".

MY MOM BOUGHT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!


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EvilPinkPig

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Posted at: 9/15/07 06:49 PM

EvilPinkPig EVIL LEVEL 09

Sign-Up: 03/01/06

Posts: 352

Well, I was printing ut some porn and my mom wanted me to also print something out for her minutes later. I completely forgot about the porn already printed on the paper catcher. I was thankful that when she grabbed her paper, she walked away without even looking at the stack under her paper.


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Dorque

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Posted at: 9/15/07 07:00 PM

Dorque EVIL LEVEL 06

Sign-Up: 12/16/06

Posts: 5

What is with some of these crazy parents?

If I had kids and I "caught" them looking at porn, I think about the worst I would do would be congratulate them.


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princessyoko

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Posted at: 9/15/07 07:01 PM

princessyoko LIGHT LEVEL 10

Sign-Up: 10/16/06

Posts: 831

i know a guy who was masturbating while his parents were driving then their was a harsh turn and the cum went all over the dash board and then his parents stared at him and he opened the door and ran saying "i fucking masturbate" then he started masturbating cum on to other cars


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mariomusicmaker1

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Posted at: 9/15/07 07:07 PM

mariomusicmaker1 FAB LEVEL 10

Sign-Up: 03/09/06

Posts: 5,121

I was doing my thing while drunk at a party, at a friends- friends house.
i didnt have any porno to look at so it was takeing a long time, i was at climax and started making the usual gurgle noise in my mouth when some one is knocking on the door to use the bathroom and this noise comes out of my mouth sounded like a guy ejacjulating in a cheep porno ( AHhhHAHh) mixed with a dieing cat ( MEWAH!!) ohh man was that embarrassing,

I Stopped A Rape!!!
" If music is an art, let your car be the canvas, "

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Thesuit11

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Posted at: 9/15/07 07:23 PM

Thesuit11 FAB LEVEL 15

Sign-Up: 12/23/06

Posts: 1,490

dunno the actual link but it was on www.fuckingmachines.com
the bitch was cumming like fucking crazy.

Thx I'll be using that site later...*cough*


Shouting

Mechabloby

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Posted at: 9/15/07 07:33 PM

Mechabloby NEUTRAL LEVEL 31

Sign-Up: 12/04/05

Posts: 17,061

I missed my target which was my mouth.

tha JACK NANCE cru comin thruu
msn - feel free to add me: mechablob@hotmail.com

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