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FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-29 20:30:50 Reply

I gonna post short stories here if my thread gets disposed...


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FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-29 22:36:04 Reply

Well...I'm dropping my bags here and post my short stories here

If I have time

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aviewaskewed
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 00:35:34 Reply

At 1/29/10 08:21 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: On a related note, when do you use 'whom' and when do you use 'who'? I could never remember. Also, 'who's' vs 'whose?"

Hmmm, to be honest I'm a bit rusty on 'whom' vs 'who' myself. As far as 'who's' vs 'whose' the first is a possesive. like "Bob, who's store makes a million dollars a week...was indicted on charges of fraud. Naughty naughty Bob!" vs...hmmm...good example, good example...I don't can't think of one at present (help people!) but 'whose' is the descriptive, non-possesive form.

Is it alright if the word in question is only being talked about in the narration, such as, "She had a habit of frequently referring to me as "faggot (or maybe "...by the word 'faggot'")" as opposed to having it be a part of the dialog?

I would prefer these words NEVER appear in ANY part of a story. Because the BBS is very clear and I don't want to create situations where it's seen as "ok" here, but bad elsewhere. I'd rather people try to avoid using these terms in this section. If a story absolutely requires it, well, much as I hate to say it but the BBS probably isn't going to be suitable for it. Rules is rules. The upcoming Lit Portal might be something you'd want to save that story for.


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SilentCobra
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 00:52:19 Reply

I couldn't agree more with what Skye and InsertFunnyUserName said about double spacing or at the very least, having a new paragraph when someone is talking. It really is just to help reduce the extreme strain on everyone's eyes.


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Pathnine
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 01:07:54 Reply

I just found out about this forum today. It looks like it's going to be a really awesome place to meet fellow writers and get feedback on my work :)

My favorite things to write are: Short Stories, one-liners, poetry, haikus, song lyrics, pen-palling, journaling, dream journalling, webcomics, movie shorts, and flash fiction (also known as "short short stories").

I had one of my comics published at Zuda.com in October '08. Being published there was the first time that I ever got paid for my writing, and I'm hoping to be published there again this year (and if I'm lucky... win the contest!). I'm also working on a short movie script, which me and some of my friends will be filming this Summer. My music has taken a new twist recently, too. I went from writing singer songwriter lyrics to stoner rock lyrics. LOL! Basically, I'm trying to write songs that are fantasy based. My first stoner rock song was called The Ogre Wars, and my second one was called Tears of a Cyclops. Anyway, I'm looking forward to meeting some neat people on here and sharing my work with you guys :)

-Daniel

HollowedPumkinz
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 01:11:18 Reply

Lot's of good stories coming in. Some better than others but regardless, still good.
I like this forum. I use to only go to C&C and General. I only went to general because of how dreadfully slow posts come in on C&C. But now I have another Forum to go to and can cut out the idiot infested cess pool stupidity and go to a forum I like.

Hell, what the good of a lounge if we can't show others our work? So if you feel like it check it out:
Balmora- A Blacksmith's Tale


Even as I walk through the shadow of the Valley of Death, I shall fear no Evil. Semper Fidelis

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tigerkitty
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 04:51:56 Reply

At 1/30/10 12:35 AM, aviewaskewed wrote:
At 1/29/10 08:21 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: On a related note, when do you use 'whom' and when do you use 'who'? I could never remember. Also, 'who's' vs 'whose?"
Hmmm, to be honest I'm a bit rusty on 'whom' vs 'who' myself. As far as 'who's' vs 'whose' the first is a possesive. like "Bob, who's store makes a million dollars a week...was indicted on charges of fraud. Naughty naughty Bob!" vs...hmmm...good example, good example...I don't can't think of one at present (help people!) but 'whose' is the descriptive, non-possesive form.

Not true! "Who's" is a contracted version of "who is" or "who has" while "whose" is the possessive form. In your example "Whose cars keys are these?" versus "Who's in the house?" If you can use the words "who is" then you should be using "who's"

The confusion comes from the fact that usually when we see an 's we automatically think possessive, but in this case it's a contraction... like it's

FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 06:53:47 Reply

Well...I'm gonna post a pretty long one this time....

'Hey Jim!' Alan yelled, waving a Rubix cube in his hand.

Jim turned around mystified. What was Alan doing here at this time?? He was only suppose to be with him to play some X-box only at 3.

Scratching his head, he asked, 'What are you doing here??'

'Just asking if you can solve the Rubix cube.'

Staring at Alan, Jim muttered something and snatched the cube. After 1 minute, he was done. Jim studied the Rubix cube. It was a typical 3x3x3 block, only with the white replaced by black. Whats more the center black square had a red circle on it. And it was blinking.

'Uh...Alan...' Jim asked worriedly as the light flashed brighter. 'Where the hell did you get this??'

'I found it in the trash!'he said proudly.

Not wanting to know why Alan was trash-surfing, Jim cautiously pressed the red circle. At first nothing happened. Then his finger glowed red hot and a chill went up his spine. The finger started vibrating an changed to olive green. Alan watched in awe as he took out some Gummy bears to chew.

Jim cursed silently as he tried to pull the Rubix cube all his finger. It wouldn't budge.

He grunted and shouted to Alan, 'Don't just stand there. Help-'

A loud wail exploded from the Rubix cube. Jim shut his eyes and bit his lip as a blinding gold light emerged from the cube. Jim wondered if this was going to be his final thought. As the light faded, Jim slowly opened his eyes and glanced at the Rubix cube. It wasn't even a Rubix cube anymore, it was a shiny silver PSP.

Jim mumbled, 'Well, that's new.....'

His finger no longer attached to the PSP, it dropped onto the floor and shattered, leaving a disgusting green ooze. Curious, Jim touched it. Suddenly, he turned into Salad Fingers. Grinning, he wrapped Alan. Screaming, Alan transformed into the Green Castle Crasher. His eyes widened with pleasure.

This was only the 1st Transformations


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tigerkitty
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 07:31:06 Reply

At 1/30/10 06:53 AM, FlashCam wrote: This was only the 1st Transformations

It sort of reads like someone who wrote down their dream in the morning after they woke up.

SilentCobra
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 07:36:50 Reply

Yo Pumpkinz, nice to see you in the writers lounge and in the writing forum. Even though it's somewhat unrelated, I really get a major kick out of how people refer to the General forum.


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FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 07:37:36 Reply

At 1/30/10 07:31 AM, tigerkitty wrote: It sort of reads like someone who wrote down their dream in the morning after they woke up.

Eh, it's night here...


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SilentCobra
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 07:59:20 Reply

Hey FlashCam, it looks really cool. Really gripping and you've got a great hook as well.

After all, the hook is one of the most CRUCIAL tools in every writer's arsenal.

my last 3 posts (including this one) were done entirely on my PS3

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FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 09:42:59 Reply

Hmm....Yay

PART 2 OF THE TRANSFORMATIONS

Meanwhile....

Sam sucked his lollipop HARD. Jumping down quickly , he ran off. Sweat running down his fore head, he dangerously did a sharp turn into an alley. Gasping, he threw the half-sucked lollipop onto the ground, remembering what the hell happened just now.

He was peeking through Jim's window, spying for fun. There was a flash and then there was no Jim. Only a weird green guy with salad for fingers. The green thing later touched Alan and he turned into a green night. Then there was the stare. The long, cold, shiver-down-me-spine stare.

Sam shuddered, realising he had ran like hell after that. Suddenly, he spotted a ball, behind a trash bin. A dark glowing ball of....energy, Sam thought quickly. Edging to it, he thought if he would turn into those beings he saw. Grasping the ball, he screamed. His fingers felt like they were melting and cracking at the same time. The ball glowed brighter and burst.

A mass of rubble and wake stood after. Sam grunted and scratched his head. Groaning, he realised that this head felt...harder than usual. His lips had a metallic taste to it. Part of him wanted to rip stuff to shreds. He stood that silently, trembling at what he had become. He was.....

M-Bot

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VitaminP
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 15:08:00 Reply

At 1/29/10 10:41 AM, Scarab wrote: This is probably something that a lot of you do anyway, but because of the difficulties brought up by copying and pasting something directly from a file to a forum post (paragraphing, losing italics, etc.), I quite often make a 'real copy' and a 'Newgrounds copy', the latter of which has double-spacing and HTML tags. It's understandable that creating a 'Newgrounds copy' of pre-existing material is a bit of a chore, and even more so with longer works like IFUN brought up, but this is just a suggestion of something I've found useful before.

Heres a OpenOffice macro to change text to NG formatted text. Just open up the file and then run the macro command.

PM me if you have any problems with it.

--------------------[ Mod Type Indicator ] - [ Change Level Icons ] - [ Last Post Link ] - [ Inline Poster ]------------------

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FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 19:01:14 Reply

Hey, I MAY not post here on weekdays so that might be a HUGE gap....

Pt 3 of The Transformations

Jack was watching TV. Pretty much like any teenager whose VERY bored. Yawning, he wished this day
could be better some how. Slowly shuffling to the kitchen, he found a unique kit-kat bar. It's wrapper was yellow and it said it contained peanuts. Jack took it anyway.

Sitting back on the reclined chair, he took a bite of the kit-kat once he opened it. The taste was weird.... no-not weird... amazing. It was a mixture of sweetness and sour, what Jack liked best. He soon devoured the chocolate within seconds. He breathed a huge sigh and wondered if any stores had any of this wonderful treat.

30 minutes later of watching TV, Jim started to get woozy. Rubbing his stomach to calm it down, he realised that it felt warm. Very warm. He took off his shirt hastily and saw a yellow glow right on his belly. Whats more, it was getting brighter. Jim wanted to scream but he couldn't, he was too terrified.

Suddenly, a burst of yellow light spewed out from the house. Jim was knocked unconscious. After a few minutes, he came to. He felt lighter. He looked down and saw he yellow pants. Not realising he was grasping a giant pencil, he heard a scream. Turning around, he finally figured what he had become, he was his favourite computer game character...

Fancy Pants

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SilentCobra
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 19:44:43 Reply

Hey FlashCam, is this story of yours just a mass of short stories that really have nothing to do with the previous entry OR are you going somewhere with this?

"NOT" done entirely on my PS3
p

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 22:42:46 Reply

At 1/30/10 07:44 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Hey FlashCam, is this story of yours just a mass of short stories that really have nothing to do with the previous entry OR are you going somewhere with this?

"NOT" done entirely on my PS3
p

Going on Newgrounds on my PS3 sucks ass. It's laggy as hell and all. I was like "Sweet now I can watch Flash movies on my big ass T.V.!" but found out it lagged worse than my old Win 98 Aptiva.


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 22:50:00 Reply

At 1/30/10 10:42 PM, FBIpolux wrote:
Going on Newgrounds on my PS3 sucks ass. It's laggy as hell and all. I was like "Sweet now I can watch Flash movies on my big ass T.V.!" but found out it lagged worse than my old Win 98 Aptiva.

And I was excited when my cell phone had flash on it and unlimited internet until I realized that none of the flash actually load, the responds to review button, commenting on user pages, and voting on submissions didn't work. The only thing I can do with it is read topics and post in topics.


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-30 22:58:38 Reply

Last night I had a really detailed dream about a guy breaking out of jail, and I think it should be able to adapt perfectly to what I'm working on now. Should really give the story a nice, sharp edge. I love it when things like this happen.


READ: "A Fear of Great Heights" and other forthcoming adventures right HERE
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FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 00:16:27 Reply

At 1/30/10 07:44 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Hey FlashCam, is this story of yours just a mass of short stories that really have nothing to do with the previous entry OR are you going somewhere with this?

Yup, I'm thinking of this being my 1st REAL story. It'll all combine soon enough


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FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 00:27:26 Reply

Anyway....

THE TRANSFORMATION Pt 4

Fred screamed. He was just outside Jack's house and then some bright yellow light emerged and he felt a burning sensation. His hands were pumping painfully and he felt that every part of his body ached. As black dots were dancing before his eyes, his legs and arms flustered uselessly. Falling face first onto the ground, he stayed there shuddering.

Tap Tap Tap. Someone was coming, Fred got on his legs haphazardly. A stickman walked out of the door.

Puzzled, Fred said,'Who the hell are you??'

The stickman replied with amusement,'I'm my favorite computer character and it seems you are,' pointing at him, 'a tankman'

Looking down, he saw that he was black and white and was wearing a hard helmet. Suddenly, he heard something clanking. Turning at the stickman, it shrugged.

'Wasn't me.'

Fred turned slowly and braced himself. He knew it wasn't gonna be pretty as a shadow cautiously came closer.


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 00:37:31 Reply

Does anybody else use Zuda.com? I'm looking forward to their new webcomic contest on Monday. Last month's contest was kind of crazy... the leading comic was removed from the contest, because of some bullshit drama. Anyway, something else that I'm looking forward to (just so that you don't think I'm a shill or something... LOL), is that I organized a swap at my local watering hole tomorrow. Me and some of my Face Book friends are going to be trading: cd's, sketches, photos, etc... The sucky thing is that I have to work afterward, so can only drink a couple beers... boo! I used to swap a lot of comics back in the day, too. Okay, better get back to work... -Daniel

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 01:26:38 Reply

At 1/29/10 02:23 AM, FBIpolux wrote:
-Stupid cat.

[...]

:(

Just when I was trying to get over the poor cat getting thrown in, you then had to do the same to Harvey! This Vincent seems a bit messed up, or maybe he doesn't exactly realise what would happen to the other kid in that hole. Either way, I do look forward to knowing his story.

Thanks for translating that for us. It was good.


[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 02:32:26 Reply

At 1/31/10 01:26 AM, puddinN64 wrote: So, I was just wondering: What percentage of fan fiction involves sex or NSFW themes? I say it's got to be over 75%.

I'd say that's a safe bet. I find most fan fiction is just either "This is what I'd do if i was in this story" or "this is what I want to see happen!" It's a little unsettling.

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 02:41:38 Reply

At 1/31/10 02:32 AM, Skye-McCloud wrote:
At 1/31/10 01:26 AM, puddinN64 wrote: So, I was just wondering: What percentage of fan fiction involves sex or NSFW themes? I say it's got to be over 75%.
I'd say that's a safe bet. I find most fan fiction is just either "This is what I'd do if i was in this story" or "this is what I want to see happen!" It's a little unsettling.

so yeah basicaly over 75%.

I dont much like fan fiction mostly because its kinda lame. To put it in flash forum terms its like using sprites. I understand that when people realy like somthing they want to be a part of it but character development is like one of the biggest parts of a story and if you don't develope your own characters you either get stuck inside their creators box or you end up skewing the story so much that its just terrible.

im not trying to be mean and i have read some amazing fan fics.

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 03:05:30 Reply

New regular, right here. I'm even bookmarking the page.

I'll probably lurk mostly, though.


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 03:07:12 Reply

Yeah, it's really impossible to make fan fiction your own without the permission of the original creators. I used to read a lot of Star Wars books, and they were all written by people other than George Lucas, but at least they had his permission. -D.

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 03:16:22 Reply

At 1/31/10 03:07 AM, Pathnine wrote: Yeah, it's really impossible to make fan fiction your own without the permission of the original creators. I used to read a lot of Star Wars books, and they were all written by people other than George Lucas, but at least they had his permission. -D.

I'm not sure those are concidered fan fics i think those people were commitioned (commisioned?commishoned?... Hired) to write those books. Idk.

look at me trying to look smart and sounding stupid again

The best fan fiction i have ever read was a diablo fan fic that didnt use any of the actual characters from the game but it referenced things like the dark wanderer the sin war and tyrael even made a cameo.

an Unrelated note. Is this a Writing only forum or an open literature forum. (it seems obvious i know) For example could i use this forum to discuss books ive read/enjoyed/hated or am i restricted to only discussing/writing/reveiwing origional works by NGers?


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 03:52:44 Reply

Phew...This is gonna be pretty long...

THE TRANSFORMATIONS Pt 5

Sam grunted. He heard a scream and for some reason, he wanted to shred the guy who did. Stomping, Sam made his way to Jack's house. Jack and him were close buddies and he wondered if their relationship would ever be the same again.

Coming to a stop, he spotted a stickman in pants and a cartoonish army sergeant. The sergeant looked at him and attacked. Sam started firing using his cannon while the sergeant countered using a bazooka. The stickman watched silently, like trying to recall something.

Fred was anxious if he would die fighting. Attacking heavily, he saw the robot struggle. That gave him the courage to pound harder. Meanwhile, Sam's cannon had upgraded to twice the fire power. He then felt an urge to be on fours. The cannon slowly reverted back into the single shot.
Then, Fred started slashing.

Jack finally found out that that robot was Sam, looking at his typical 'street fighter' moves. Watching him acting like some crazy dog made him queasy. Suddenly, some green fingers came out of nowhere and started grabbing Sam. The fingers looked like it was quivering with pleasure. Jack realised it was now or never as Sam struggled futilely. Gripping his pencil, he slashed at the fingers.


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-01-31 07:06:45 Reply

La la la la...

THE TRANSFORMATIONS Pt 6

Jim gripped tighter. The feeling was amazing. The metallic skin and the beeping of deep circuitry and the deeper still feeling of rust was all in a finger's tip. Suddenly, he felt the strike of hard granite and the black mark made his fingers feel all smooth and tender. Licking lips, he went towards the source.

Alan watched Jim silently. The way he touched stuff was very...weird. Seemed like he enjoyed touching everything. Gripping onto his mace, he wondered if he should join the brawl but resisted when the robot started to slash Jim and the soldier harder. He would live to fight another day.

Sam felt his head pump with oil. His hands were now knife sharp claws. Scraping on the Tank dude, he than focused his attention on the vege fingers. It was looking at him with widened eyes and then it grabbed him. Sam felt his body go colder then before as the vege curled around him. He gave it a desperate shred that met it's mark. The vege fingers was now currently unconscious.

Jack looked around sullenly. He did not approve violence. Apart from that pencil slash, he never hurt a person, let alone a fly. Catching the eye of the green knight, he thought of what would be the end of this. He was about to find out soon enough.

From that second, they suddenly disappeared. Right after a huge white beam of light from the sky. Some people a few miles away spotted a huge light exploded from a dot in the sky. The neighbours quietly watching the battle confessed that some being...a human, came down and took them during the burst of light. Dogs howled and cats gave disturbed purrs. Even goldfishes swam around restlessly.

Things were never going to be the same for Jim, Alan, Sam, Jack and Fred.


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