At 1/31/10 03:58 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote:
At 1/31/10 11:53 AM, WritersBlock wrote:
I think most fan fiction writers won't be well read, and therefore are less aware of plot-holes and cliches, which, of course, will drag a piece of fiction down.Won't be well read eh? Well then how about you take a look at mine and let's see what you think.
I definitely have done my best to avoid plot-holes and cliches. Aside from the romanticisms I use, but other than that, I think it's a damn fine fanfic.
I did say "most", however, when I got to the part where you use *this* to describe your action dialogue, I stopped reading. Normal stories don't read like MSN convos. Personally, I find it hard to believe that you are well read. If you read more, then you'll surely understand that fiction isn't supposed to be written like that. Have a look at my fan fiction if you will (linked above, see: Flonkerton), and you'll see that I use none of that. Sure, write in the first perspective if you want, I do it all the time, but please, please, PLEASE, do not include yourself as a character in the story. It goes with the comment I made earlier regarding characters not being real. Yes, they must feel real, within the confines of your fictional universe, but they never are actually real. You write about characters. Characters are fictional. When you write about yourself as a character, you are referring to an actual person, and that takes out of the whole experience of the self-contained story. It makes the story less real, because the reader is aware that your fictional universe and the real world must be one and the same, and anything that doesn't match up between your fantasy, or "possible non-actual world" and the actual world discredits your own story. Makes it feel like a gimmick.
Next time, write sentences and paragraphs, give us a story that is unique and interesting. The phrase "show, don't tell" immediately springs to mind. Right now, you're 100% telling the reader what's going on. "I'm blushing" "you are blushing" "oh no you saw me blushing". There's no subtlety, there's just statements and nothing else. Where is the word play? Where are the descriptions, the imagery, the literary devices that bring sentences and paragraphs to life?
I know I'm probably being too harsh here, but seriously, I can't read that and agree with you calling what you wrote a "damn fine fan fic".