Alright guys, I feel we can make a compromise here. <a voiding a block of text> Let us agree that we all have ideas that we would like to have reviewed before we put the effort into starting a story (ok so I am assuming that everyone is lazy). So here it is guys: this thread will be THE PLACE FOR YOU TO POST IDEAS. Lets all agree that we want a clean forum and that this would help do just that.
PS: The mods lock all the individual idea threads anyways...so give it a chance, will ya?
I know I will read everyone that I can get to, and I will then give advice and ideas. But please keep the length to some degree of reasonable -- and for the love of god, READ OTHER PEOPLES IDEAS TOO!
Otherwise; you give an idea, you read another persons idea, you comment on that idea, another person responds to your idea (we all have a circle pen-jerk and go home happy).
Cheers.
Failure should push you until success can pull you.
In fact, since I approve of this thread's intention I'm going to go ahead with this:
IF YOU DO NOT REVIEW ANOTHER PERSON'S IDEA YOU MAY NOT POST ONE FOR OTHERS TO CONSIDER.
This is a writing forum. In order to be a writer you must first be a reader. If you can't be bothered to review someone else's stuff nobody can be bothered to review yours.
Thank you.
(exception: the first person to post an idea they're having)
To expand upon the thread slightly:
Lets all agree that an idea should have explanation. Do NOT post a one sentence idea and expect us to take it as valid. If you are going to use this thread have the decency to post a well thought out idea.
Lets say...a good solid paragraph!
Failure should push you until success can pull you.
Evark, your idea didn't really grab me. You need to flesh out the idea more. I understand the premise of explaining the underlying motivation of writers being that they read; to become a chef, you must become a connisseur. I get that, I just don't think the vehicle you've chosen is very effective. Sure, you could write it, but I think you really need to put more thought into the initial planning. Where is the writer going? Why does the reviewer feel compelled to spread his ideas? Is there a love story?
Go back to tin pan alley, you hack.
---
Okay, an actual idea. I don't know... okay, off the top of my head:
Set in Berlin, 1979. A half-French, half-Russian CIA officer named Elsa Carne is escorting a Polish man the Berlin office has recruited to return to Moscow to spy on the Russians. After sneaking into East Berlin, the two board the Moskva Express. Meanwhile, in Berlin, a firebomb placed in Carne's office goes off. While the spy is completely out of touch on the train passing through East Germany, a flurry of activity takes off in the American embassy. A quick investigation into Carne's files reveals that she has been planning to defect, for reasons unknown. During all of this, Elsa continues to bond with the man she's escorting, who she shows a lot of fondness for. Back in Berlin, a message is sent to an American agent posing as a mechanic on the train (unbeknownst to Carne), who attempts to sabatoge the train and force it to stop at Warsaw. The engineer catches him in the act, and after a struggle, the train does momentarily stop as the KGB seizes the American agent. Following more hurried activity in the American network, a plan is finally decided on. Rather than allow Carne to carry out her plans (which are at this point still unclear), the CIA will have her killed. An assassin manages to slip aboard the express as it passes through Belarus. He comes to the cabin she and her charge were sharing (did I mention the implied/explicitly stated sexual relationship?) to find it empty. All missions an utter failure, an investigation six months later finally uncovers the truth. Agent Elsa Carne, rather than allow him be press-ganged into working for the Americans, has escaped into Russia with the man who is subsequently realized to be her lover.
If anyone has any comments or criticisms, I'd love to hear them. That's a pretty basic evolution of one of templets I use for some free-writing. And if anyone would like to try their hand at writing (or rewriting) a passage of it (or the entire plot) or something, have at it. I'd love to read your take on my idea, and I probably won't sue you.
-~RWT~-
If you don't like my poetry, scroll down the page a bit. It gets better.
At 1/30/10 08:04 PM, RWT wrote:
-~RWT~-
This seems like a wonderful plot. Now I charge you to do something unique with this...don't waste this idea on just another spy type deal. Make it a tragedy or something! -- that would be neat.
Failure should push you until success can pull you.
Ok so here is my idea. It hasnt been to well thought out but its there.
Numbah 1
-----
A man finds himself one day in a world frozen in time. He has no clue as to how or why he got there but he is there. For a few months that don't pass he wanders the frozen time. He doesnt age he doesnt hunger or thirst or need to sleep. He falls into a madness from the loneliness. He sees and hears things that arent there. Later that day he is attacked by a dog. A dog he thinks doesnt egzist. After killing the dog and realizing that it was real he runs into its owner who explains what had happend. He explains that scientist in the late 1950s that would cause soviet warheads to explode before they reached america by sending out an electric frequency that would detonate the explosives inside. Long story short the frequency the machine produced would affect people with a certain genetic defect to be frozen in time ( i have no idea how to explane that so i think its better that i just make it so noone in the story knows how it works).
Eventualy after meating others who have been frozen in time they find that the machine is still pulsing the frequency from a location an the apalachian mountains(CLARIFICATION: the machine freezes people from different time periods but it freezes them to the same point that the machine was first turned on in the 1950s). Sadly they are positioned in East LA. The physics of the time frozen world make for a very interesting treck across the USA. Durring there journey they discover that not all people removed from time retained there sanity and have socialy devolved to the point of them being animal-like in nature.
Eventualy they reach the machine and are able to turn it off from the time frozen world because it was stuck between the two dimentions. Everyone unfreezes in the same time that the machine was turned on in the 1950s. Everyone ages acording to how "long" they were frozen in time including the protagonist's "love interest" of the story who ages to the point of dieing(she was frozen in the 60s)
I know its allitle rediculous but it will sound better when i actualy write it.
Nateofwar owns your mother
@ RWT: I like the idea. For some reason tho I kept thinking about Romeo and Juliet the entire time I was reading it. I don't know, the CIA, the KGB are kind of like the two feuding houses. There's secret agendas in there and as well as a forbidden love. Then somebody had to go and mention "tragedy" and now I can't stop thinking about it lol :P
I have an idea for a story about mankinds first contact with aliens that I've been bouncing around in my head for a week I guess. It's kind of a futurist idea about how we actually would make contact, but instead of the aliens contacting Earth, Earth finds them. The intro to the story is a timeline that leads up to the events in the middle of the story which I'm still trying to flesh out:
In 2015, MIT researchers record the first human thoughts, directly from a brain to a harddrive.
2022: The first true artificial intelligence is created.
2028: Technological Singularity occurs. Man has made an intelligence smarter than itself.
2030: A.I.'s perfect cold fusion technology, providing 67% of the world with unlimited clean energy.
2037: Advances in data storage technology, driven by research A.I.s, allow the first complete human conscience to be uploaded to a data drive.
June 18th, 2051, 8:00am: MetaNet goes online. An infinite datascape that not only allows users to upload there conscience, but allows them to make vast amounts of copies. In one day, nations crumbled and were replaced by Ad-hoc networks of people. Global economies collapsed as death was cured, and scarcity became a thing of the past. Even if someone's body died, a new one could be cloned. Advances in nanotechnology allowed innermost desires to be brought into existence with a mere thought. This was not the Apocolypse, far from it. As man and machine become one, and humanity masters it's own evolution, earth enters the Mind Age.
2100: It is estimated that only 10% of the worlds sentient population still owns an organic body. Human minds are now born inside MetaNet.
November 13th, 2136: Jacob Silverman gathers 5000 tonnes of self replicating nanobots, uploads a single copy of his conscience to it, and launches it into space. With a copy of his mind, the mass of nanobots becomes a living liquid metal. This specialized body is built for one purpose, to explore the universe.
2000 years later. Jacob Silverman hear a beep. And then another. Then a sequence of beeps, much like morse code. Silverman has entered a radio bubble, one obviously made by intellegent life. As he (and his thousands of minds, duplicated from the original) travel to the planet, he studies the transmissions, learning about their history and culture by going thru the planetary timeline of radio broadcasts and television shows. He arrives at a planet in about the same technological state as earth circa 1980.
Configuring the mass of his body into a vehicle suitable for atmospheric travel, he enters the airspace of planet Tetra. Knowing that the local governments like their secrets, and would most likely cover up his arrival, he went public.
To the Tetrans on the ground, it looked as if a giant silver ship just materialized in the air over a memorial park in a highly populated capitol city. If you were a civilian you were running away as fast as you could, and if you were military you were being brought in faster still. Brave journalists cowered behind cover with cameras, so when the ship touched down and started changing shape into a large silver bipedal robot, the whole world was watching.
The 5000 ton Silverman raised a hand, and pointed a beam of light from his palm to the ground. In the middle of the beam, appearing as tho from dust and nothing, formed a man in a business suit, wearing a smile.
First contact was a single gunshot. Silverman caught the primitive projectile in an invisible net of nanobots. He locked eyes with the soldier that had fired, bullet hanging mid air between them. Then slowly the bullet floated to the soldier, and put itself in a vest pocket. In a voice that seemed to come from everywhere in the city, Silverman said in perfect Tetran dialect, "I'm an explorer, and I come in peace."
The rest of the story I haven't fleshed out thoroughly yet. It's pretty much just my thoughts on what the effects on society and culture would be like if alien life were to visit, and what interactions would be like on different social scales, from military and government, to housewives, and starving artists. This is as far as I've got with this idea so far, anybody have any comments, or critiques?
One Question, what's a French Russian doing in the C.I.A in 1979, I guess we just assume the half French half Russian thing means American, which you should do should you ever flush it out better because as far as governments go its by what nation you represent, not what ethnicity you are its overly complicated especially in the setting where she turns out to be a double agent cause it could potentially imply that she Works for Russia, France and has infiltrated the C.I.A. Not Much there to critique on, the time period isn't very relevant in such a basic summary but could make a good atmosphere if done correctly (i.e not make it ridiculously overt that its the 70's but just enough that is synonymous with the time period it could be a thrilling story if enough suspense and tension is applied or a stylish spy thing with lots of finesse and attitude with the characters.
Okay, maybe I should focus on writing prose instead of poetry... :-P
Responses to commentary on my idea:
TrevorW- Thanks. As it stands, it would be very easy to say, kill both spies in the end.
Version- Bingo. Romeo and Julliet did flash through my mind when coming up with it. Now that you make me think of it, expect Shakespeare references.
Jack- Don't worry. If I wrote this, I'd fully intend to set it in the traditional 'spy story' paradigm; cloak & dagger is independent of the decade.
As far as the ethnicity goes, sorry for not being clearer (It was already pretty long); the main character is French, but has a Russian father. Let's say he was killed by the Soviets in the 50's for being a revolutionary. Fueled by her natural hatred of the Soviets, she has worked for the Americans in Berlin for ten years or so. The struggle is between her hatred of the Soviets and her disillussionment with the CIA for forcing the man she now loves to return to Russia. The final choice, of course, is to try to escape both.
We have a Spy Story/Shakespearean Tragedy... that's fresh. I should try actually writing some of this. Thanks for the inspiration.
---
Commentary on other ideas:
Nate- Sounds like a good psychological piece. If you focus enough on the weird thoughts going through the protagonist's head, I think you'll have a great story. Just make sure something interesting happens, or you'll fall into the trap of 'a bunch of people wander around high and defeat the bad guy in the end.'
Version- Classic Sci-Fi. The reversal of alien/human roles is probably enough to make it an interesting read. Charictarize the Tetrans as 21st century people, and it will definitely go somewhere. You still need to build on where the plot will go, but you're on the right track.
-~RWT~-
If you don't like my poetry, scroll down the page a bit. It gets better.
Version2, I like your story idea, but I wouldn't just give a timeline at the start, if I might give you an idea, I'd have the whole thing explained, like instead of "2022: The first true artificial intelligence is created." make it flow, like, "work on true artificial intelligence was completed some time in 2022", you get me? Sort of like a person talking to you, but more formal like a report. As for the actual story, I quite like the idea you've got going, I'll look at it if you do write it.
Now, this idea has been bubbling around in my head for a while, but I fear it could just seem stupid to other people.
what I was thinking was, there's this girl (I've been wanting to write a story from a female perspective for a while now) and she comes across this secret, I haven't decided how yet, but I reckon she finds out about people having a true name, given to you by God at your birth, and used by others in the afterlife.
The idea is that in the earliest ages, the 8th commandment (do not lie) revolved around these names, because if you said something about that person using their name, then it was forced into reality. If the girls true name was "Jenny" and I say "Jenny is fat" history would be changed so that she got fatter over time and was fat in time for when I said it. Because of this, the ancients started giving people mortal names, and stopped and forgot the ways to discover the name God gave you.
However, this girl discovers the way to find out peoples true names and starts using it like mad, carving herself the perfect life. However, some fucked up shit which I haven't decided on yet would happen and in the end she'd just have made her life worse than ever, sinned so harshly she was condemned to hell for all eternity, and basically it would end with her speaking her own true name, "was never born".
Thanks for the comments guys
@RWT: I'm thinking of the Tetrans as about early 1990's humans, because I have some thoughts on the importance of the internet and communication that I want to write about. I stopped there to decide where to go next. Having Silverman go with the government is the obvious choice, lots of places to go with that. Do they try to kill Silverman? What happens when they find out they can't? How would Silverman feel about being autopsied?
On the other hand, I like the idea of him resisting government and going straight to the media, and him making the choice to get all of society involved instead of just it's most powerful members. Would public outcry cause government to step in and deal with it, or tell it to GTFO? Would the public get to know the alien, or would they look at it like one of those weird dogs that bark words, only a million times more intimidating?
My real problem is I'm to damn indecisive :P
@andhination: This was actually the first time I wrote anything on this story. Don't worry, it won't be a time line ;) I was thinking something more along the lines of Ray Bradbury's Martian Chronicles. A collection of story "parts" told from various perspectives. I came up with the timeline idea so that I would be better able to sync events across the different parts of the story.
Ha ha, hit post to quickly :P
@Nateofwar: I like that idea. You said your characters are in the US, and I'm assuming there's an ocean between them and the machine? Yeah that would be a real trippy read. How would water react if times frozen? or what if something fell out of your pocket? Can't wait to see where you go with it!
@andhination: A little religion heavy for my tastes, but I like the idea overall, because if I was in that situation I would definitely be setting a perfect life up too.
@Andhi-i realy like your idea. the ending kinda reminds me of the butterfly effect where he makes it so he never met the girl. i can't wait to read this one. I kept imagining after reading this that she would get mad at somone and just say "Trevor is dead to me now" and he dies and shes like all "oh shi-". I also like the religious back story. i have alot of trouble coming up with stuff like that but i always love reading a good one.
@Version- actualy the Apilachian mountains are in north east USA and they run through New York and Pensilvania. I never even thought about water but thats an interesting idea. I had an idea where durring there adventure they had to climb a frozen rock slide and were forced to jump accross floating rocks. I suppos water would react the same and be frozen in the one possition. All objects frozen in time can be effected or changed but like you cant throw them becaus once you stop putting energy into them they dont have energy of their own.
I also wanted to put in a small girl who would have been stuck in there for a realy long time and only retained any bit of sanity by talking to her dolls. She spouts jibberish but her dolls "talk" perfect sence.
Nateofwar owns your mother
i know double poat
I just thought up a good title for the story.
7:22 pm
7:22 being the time that all the people are stuck in.(subject to change depending on if this is a night time or day time story
Nateofwar owns your mother
At 1/31/10 04:59 AM, Version2 wrote: In 2015, MIT researchers record the first human thoughts, directly from a brain to a harddrive
adding on to this part:
"Are you ready?"
Each word hit Nancy Carigan like a bullet. Of course she wasn't ready, who could ever be ready for something like thi-
"Deep breaths, Nancy. Just take a deep breath." She forced the thought to the front of her mind, concentrating on nothing else. Slowly inhaling, she felt the fear start to clench her chest. She felt the panic rising in her throat, and her lungs restricting. And then it passed, her chest loosening. A calm came with a deep breath of air, and as she exhaled she relaxed.
"There's nothing to be worried about, the dangerous part is over. Think calm." She inhaled again. The surgery had been the first of it's kind. Researchers had been experimenting with liquid silicon silk and rats brains for years, but Nancy was the first human to undergo the procedure.
Exhale. She thought back to that day. Laying on the operating table, fully awake, as a neurosurgeon removed the top of her skull and overlaid the circuits that her team had designed into the folds of her brain. The sensation was... novel. She could not control the twitching of her facial muscles for the entire 3 hour surgery. One minute, she was the happiest she had ever been in her life, and then the surgeon would attend to another fold of grey matter, and instant depression would set in. At one point she felt she was hungry, full, wet, and jealous of one of the nurses all at the same time.
She remembered how relieved she was when it was finally over. She had thought she might actually go insane from the operation, but then it was just over, like a bad dream that quickly fades. The dangerous part was over.
She remembered the first time she looked in the mirror after the surgery. Her bald head had a red line circling the top, dotted with staples. Behind her left ear was a small transdermal implant, with a usb port directly in the center of it. In her eyes, it was the most beautiful site she had ever seen.
30 days later She sat, breathing deeply, with a usb cord inserted in her implant. A soft fuzz of blonde hair hid her scars.
"I'm ready."
"Alright, connecting in 3 - 2 - 1" Nancy's lead assitant, Otto, flipped the kill switch to on. It was built into the cord so they could instantly sever direct connection to Nancy's wetware in case anything went wrong.
"How are you?" Tom, her husband, asked. He was a history teacher, but she needed him there. His support was just as important to her as the most advanced brain activity rendering algorithms that her team had created. "It tingles a little, all over my body." She replied. He put a comfoting hand on her shoulder, and she gave him a soft smile.
"The program is loaded Nancy, we're ready when you are." Dan said, one hand hovering over the keyboard, the other resting close to the killswitch, his eyes alert and focused behind his glasses. Nancy closed her eyes. She started to form a picture in her mind. "Start."
Dan tapped a key on the keyboard and watched output stream across one of his monitors, the other monitor remaining black. As he spotted a tibbit of information here, and a pattern emerging there his fingers flew across the keyboard. "This is amazing." he whispered, eyes wide. He let the tapping of the keyboard speak for him for a while.
Nancy refined the picture in her minds eye. An apple tree with long branches and thick lush leafs, providing shade for a man who sat writing with a quill and parchment underneath. His shirt was blue, his wig was powdered, his collar ruffled, his fingernails trimmed, his brow furrowed. Every single last detail she could think of.
She scrunched her eyes tightly shut and concentrated deeply on the details of the tree bark, the gust of wind gently rocking the branches. She thought of an apple rocking just a touch to far, it's stem separating cleanly from the branch, starting to-
"Oh, my, God." Dan said, mouth hanging open.
Nancy opened her eyes in time to see a red apple, shining in the light, falling and lazily spinning thru the air to collide with Isaac Newton's head. She was dumbstruck, and the monitor showed it by turning black again.
Shocked, she turned to her husband. "It worked?" Tom smiled back at her "It worked."
Accomplishment slowly set in on Nancy. It worked. The first inklings of excitement and adrenaline worked their way into her system. Everything she had set out to accomplish, it all happened. Time slowed to a halt. It was all possible, and she had done it.
"IT WORKED!" she yelled jumping out of her chair and into her husbands arms. Caught in the moment, she wrapped around his neck and kissed him firmly, as he kissed her.
Dan sat transfixed at the monitor, never taking his eyes off it. "So that's what love looks like."
Sorry about the double post, but I thought it would be better organized if I separated this from that. I think I'm going to turn my idea into a series of short stories and this is going to be the first one in the series. The time line I posted earlier will just be my overall story arc for the whole thing. What do you guys think?
Im thinking about using my above plot in the MWC writing competition what do u guys think?
Here
i swear i posted this already did anyone else go back in time?
Nateofwar owns your mother
Might be interesting, got any ideas for the 1st 20-word story?
i was thinking a short poem that would elegantly put the protagonist's predicement in perspective
Nateofwar owns your mother
Lol, I just realized that in my last story idea post, I call Nancys assistant Otto first, then call him Dan thru the rest of the story. Hope that didn't confuse anybody. I think I'm going to call that short digital dreams. Should I start a new thread and keep working with the idea?
Failure should push you until success can pull you.
An idea I thought of, but disbanded due to people telling me it wasn't worthy:
Story Name: Brotherhood
Plot: In the year 2024, a team of scientists discovered a large pocket of crystallites in the center of the moon. These crystals were discovered to be almost twice was hard as diamond, and the race was on for many countries to claim their share. This went on for the next four years, but on May 24th, 2028, all power in the world blacked out, and the 'Invaders' arrived in large, black ships, about the size of an average one-story house. They begin to make clear that they want to take the crystals from us, but, due to them being spread across the entire planet by then, they begin to search, killing all of us who get in their way.
The story starts in 2048, 20-years after the Invaders arrived. 20-year-old Jason Tennz had just been born when they had come to the planet Earth, and his mother gave him away to a stranger, in hopes that they would take care of him. Now, he is part of a group known as the Brotherhood,which is located in the central part of now-destroyed California. They are using weapons known as RCP(Rapid Crystal Propellers) which fire the crystallites discovered 24 years earlier, which are the only things that can pierce the Invaders' black armor. The Brotherhood is split into four groups; Brotherhood North,West,South,and East,all protecting the borders of California from constant Invader attacks. The story follows Jason, who has just finished his Recruit training, and is now being deployed to Brotherood South.
You get the idea. They fight. People die. It'd take a while for me to point out all the plot-points and twists that I added in. If you really want to know,just send me a message.
At 4/4/10 08:51 PM, Johnforester15 wrote: Story Name: Brotherhood
I rather enjoyed the idea, but I am confused on one point. If it has been twenty years why haven't the alien gathered all of the crystals and left. If a species is able to travel the enormous space between stars it would seem logical that they would be able to simply crush out little planet.
But otherwise I liked it.
Here is mine:
Gambling with Gods:
Being a god is boring, holy writ is written, sacrifices are made, lightning bolts are thrown, but that is about it. Some of the god have decided to put on a little game, to pit mortal champions against one another in tasks and watch for their amusement.
One such Champion is Mark, a man who lives in London. Unlike the other champions who are all scientist, explorers, soldiers, or otherwise extraordinary Mark is normal. He works in a coffee shop and pays his taxes and is a good citizen. Then one day there is a knock on his door. A old man is standing on his doorstop.
This man reveals himself to be Zeus, like most people Mark is skeptical. In response Zeus transports him into his mind scape and shows him just what he really is. Then he gives him his task, retrieve Prometheus's torch. Prometheus the man who stole fire from the gods and gave it to the humans, giving them civilization.
The Zeus tell him why he was chose, Zeus span a globe and threw a dart, he went to the town closest to where it landed, then he went to that town, found the nearest phone book, and chose a name at random. Zeus tell Mark his real reason for being chosen. The other gods did chose heroes, Zeus thinks that heroes are the worst thing for this role, heroes die in heroic last stands, he wants a coward who will run away and live to fight another day, a man who will really get things down, and thus Mark was chosen (though the same process though)
Mark who has always lived a normal life free of adventure chooses to go on this quest, he has never had a speck of adventure in his life, he is a fresh start. Along the journey he is shown the world anew (and other world besides) what will he become, a psychopath, a villain, cruel, or will he just might, just maybe.... become a real hero.
A little story I'm trying to write, named Two Halves
"jumping off a cliff only hurts if you forget how to fly" -Taj Mahal Badalandabad
At 4/4/10 08:51 PM, Johnforester15 wrote: You get the idea. They fight. People die. It'd take a while for me to point out all the plot-points and twists that I added in. If you really want to know,just send me a message.
I think that, within this idea, you could portray the Brotherhood in a very unique and fascinating way if you go into detail about the dynamics and functioning of the group. I recommend developing them as having their own culture, as though they're their own little society. You don't have to, but it just an idea that I had.
Anyways, the premise seems good to me, but I think you just have to be careful to give it more depth than just "aliens come to try to take earth's resources and then a militia fights them off and we're all happy the end yay." I'm not saying that you are going that way, per se, but rather I'm just giving a preemptive warning that this has the risk of going off in that direction.
At 4/4/10 09:57 PM, rubber-dum-dum wrote: Gambling with Gods:
Being a god is boring, holy writ is written, sacrifices are made, lightning bolts are thrown, but that is about it. Some of the god have decided to put on a little game, to pit mortal champions against one another in tasks and watch for their amusement.
This paragraph reminds me of "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins. Not that that's a bad thing.
One such Champion is Mark, a man who lives in London. Unlike the other champions who are all scientist, explorers, soldiers, or otherwise extraordinary Mark is normal. He works in a coffee shop and pays his taxes and is a good citizen. Then one day there is a knock on his door. A old man is standing on his doorstop.
Be sure not to go too far down the cliche "underdog proves to be better than the rest" rout.
The Zeus tell him why he was chose, Zeus span a globe and threw a dart, he went to the town closest to where it landed, then he went to that town, found the nearest phone book, and chose a name at random. Zeus tell Mark his real reason for being chosen. The other gods did chose heroes, Zeus thinks that heroes are the worst thing for this role, heroes die in heroic last stands, he wants a coward who will run away and live to fight another day, a man who will really get things down, and thus Mark was chosen (though the same process though)
I like how you had him be chosen specifically because he's only average. I was afraid you were going to do the "chosen one" thing for a bit, but this quelled my fears.
Mark who has always lived a normal life free of adventure chooses to go on this quest, he has never had a speck of adventure in his life, he is a fresh start. Along the journey he is shown the world anew (and other world besides) what will he become, a psychopath, a villain, cruel, or will he just might, just maybe.... become a real hero.
I think this premise will certainly set you up to have some awesome action scenes.
Overall, something like this can go off in a number of different directions in terms of quality. I can see it either coming out engaging and full of suspense or ending up predictable and cliche. It's all about how you present it. And by all means, I'm not saying that you can't do it, I just thought I'd put that thought out there. I recommend throwing in a bunch of plot twists, possibly ones that make the reader temporarily confused as to who the antagonist really is.
At 4/5/10 06:29 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote:
Overall, something like this can go off in a number of different directions in terms of quality. I can see it either coming out engaging and full of suspense or ending up predictable and cliche. It's all about how you present it. And by all means, I'm not saying that you can't do it, I just thought I'd put that thought out there. I recommend throwing in a bunch of plot twists, possibly ones that make the reader temporarily confused as to who the antagonist really is.
the antagonist is going to be completely a matter of opinion, there will be the other champions of the other gods (there will 7 other god competing). Or the gods themselves for forcing mortals into the conflict. The winning god is allowed to use his champion for the next challenge, the losers are either already going to be dead or will be killed by the gods themselves for their failure. The champions are also allowed to keep the spoils of war (i.e. the torch)
A little story I'm trying to write, named Two Halves
"jumping off a cliff only hurts if you forget how to fly" -Taj Mahal Badalandabad
I'm going to post this and then come back on later to review others' ideas.
It's a zombie story, just like most of what's popular right now.
It takes place in a post-apocalyptic age, where humans live in "outposts" to defend themselves from the Scourge. The Scourge thinks as a collective (the reason zombies mass together) and can form complex thoughts only when within ten feet of each other (the average need for immense thought creation needs about thirty to forty zombies). One zombie in this group is dubbed the "Matron" and is used as a focus for all the thoughts; Matrons can be either male or female, and are chosen at random. If a Matron is killed, the group will disperse and return when they appoint a new one.
The infection can only spread through contact with an infected, but is so contagious that if a survivor where to lightly touch skin with a zombie they would become infected. Unlike most zombie stories, the disease does not kill the host, and if an infected human were to die before the disease takes over then they will not rise again. Any who are dead stay dead.
The infection is still a disease, and some people have immunities to it. Such people are called "Carriers". They are neither mindless zombies, nor are they typical survivors. They are forever infected and a danger to the Outposts. A Carrier does not have the strengths or weaknesses of a zombie, but instead are blessed with rapid healing. They are not immortal, and can die of their wounds. A typical Carrier is full of bite marks and scars, and many Outposts consider them a threat. Any survivor identified as a Carrier by other humans is shot on sight.
I hope to write the story from the stand point of a Carrier who has joined a clan called the City Runners. The City Runners broadcast themselves as defenders for the Outposts, and are widely accepted. Each platoon of City Runners consists of ten to eleven Carriers plus a bird for communication. They travel throughout the land searching for Scourge to kill, or an Outpost to defend.
The boy in my story was the son of an Outpost mayor. His father refused to kill him until he changed, but the boy never did. So instead the Mayor locked him in a room and forced him to stay there. A platoon of Runners known as the Oculus come to the Outpost. The group bears a message that all the survivors must travel north (a new discovery is made that zombies are migratory), for the warmer months, and if they refuse the group must stay and defend them from the oncoming Scourge. While preparing to leave, the Mayor reveals his carrier son who is then adopted by the Oculus. While traveling, the refuges come across another Outpost, who refuses the move. The Oculus are then forced to stay behind and defend, while the wagon train from the previous Outpost continues on.
That's all I got so far, this and character bios. I thought of putting a romance in there, where a Carrier falls in love with a survivor but is unable to express his feelings due to his condition, but I thought that was way to cliche and decided to keep it between two carriers. Feedback would be wonderful.
After I spend the next couple hours hiding in my bed I will get back on and look at some of the others' ideas.
There is a secret I must tell you, but if I do it will no longer be so.
At 1/31/10 04:31 AM, Nateofwar wrote: -----
A man finds himself one day in a world frozen in time. He has no clue as to how or why he got there but he is there. For a few months that don't pass he wanders the frozen time. He doesnt age he doesnt hunger or thirst or need to sleep. He falls into a madness from the loneliness. He sees and hears things that arent there. Later that day he is attacked by a dog. A dog he thinks doesnt egzist. After killing the dog and realizing that it was real he runs into its owner who explains what had happend. He explains that scientist in the late 1950s that would cause soviet warheads to explode before they reached america by sending out an electric frequency that would detonate the explosives inside. Long story short the frequency the machine produced would affect people with a certain genetic defect to be frozen in time ( i have no idea how to explane that so i think its better that i just make it so noone in the story knows how it works).
Eventualy after meating others who have been frozen in time they find that the machine is still pulsing the frequency from a location an the apalachian mountains(CLARIFICATION: the machine freezes people from different time periods but it freezes them to the same point that the machine was first turned on in the 1950s). Sadly they are positioned in East LA. The physics of the time frozen world make for a very interesting treck across the USA. Durring there journey they discover that not all people removed from time retained there sanity and have socialy devolved to the point of them being animal-like in nature.
Lol, sounds good, Robert Ludlum!
It actually sounds pretty interesting. If it were me writing the story, though, i would put a lot of emphasis that this incident might lead to war between Russia and the States...or if not that, a lot of headaches. it's good to have a bit of overarching urgency along with the urgency of the actual matter. the more suspense the better.
-----
So, my idea for Historical Fiction. I know i said i made 4 universes at one point, but this may now be my 5th.
The story is set in 1756. The battle of the Plains of Abraham have taking place, although it's a different significance than we have learned in the history books. The Battle was waged, on the plains of Abraham, by a coalition force of French, English and the remainder of the 13 colonies against the powerful Native American Confederacy, which is comprised now of the Huron, Iroquois and various other native American tribes, to form a never before seen first colonial empire. The story opens in the heat of the battle, which is well into its fourth day, as the troops are now loading the last surviving colonists onto boats to send them back home to Europe. In the end, the Army fails, and Quebec is raised to the ground as a new Native American Colonial empire takes root. The main character in this part of the story is Pierre, a French soldier who's not all that good at soldiering. He is one of the few who make it onto the ships before the Iroquois shock troops can make it into Quebec. He is beaten, bruised, and a little ashamed.
Back in Europe, war has ripped asunder the power-balance of the continent, with the world dominated by Prussia and the Ottomans. The French and English hold onto what land they can, Spain is being encroached upon by the new nation of Grenada-Morocco, and Russia, which is splintered into city states, is being slowly taken over by Sweden. This theatre of the story is shown by a prince of Prussia named Alban. He is third in line for the throne, as he was the offspring of the Prussian Queen and a very wild noble of France (Which subsequently lead them to war with one another, causing Prussian dominance in all of southern France). Alban therefore has gone for a life of adventuring, serving in the navy of Prussia, which due to recent naval victories against Britain, is now the most powerful in the Atlantic. The stories from Quebec are troubling him, but something else is troubling him even more when he visits Turkey.
For the past couple of centuries, strangers from the east have been coming the the court of Istanbul and telling the Ottomans of a great empire that threatens to swallow the whole of Europe. When Alban is visiting the court in an effort to maintain very friendly relations, and battered and torn emissary from the kingdom of Persia say that their capital, Baghdad, has fallen to this great empire. What is more troubling is that another emissary comes, this time from the remnants of Spain, to declare that another united Empire of Aztecs, Maya and Inca have thrown out the last Spanish colonists, and their invasion ships are on their way.
A strange messenger then enters the court while all of this is going on, and sheds light on the situation. The empire that is encroaching from the east is known as the Siwang dynasty. In Chinese, it translates into the "Death" dynasty, and it was decreed a few centuries ago that the Chinese would rule Eurasia and beyond, and they are making good on that promise. Alban, concerned obviously at the threat to a weakened Europe, tries his best to grab the attention of anybody who's listening to stand and fight against this new threat. The Ottomans, however, refuse, but pledge that they will try to stop this army whatever it takes.
That's what i have so far.
Political Science: A haughty soap opera. Philosophy: A cold, mind-fucking bitch.
I love them both
"Manuscripts don't burn"- Mikhail Bulgakov
Select between 5 monster racers, upgrade your monster skill and win the competition!
4.18 / 5.00 3,534 Views
Build most powerful forces, unleash hordes of monster and control your soldiers!
3.80 / 5.00 4,200 Views
© Copyright 1995-2014 Newgrounds, Inc. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.
