At 8/9/06 07:19 AM, ever-vigilant wrote:
hi. i feel that this is the best place to ask my question.
Hello thurr, e-v. You did come to the right place, one of the purposes of this club is to support each other, in any such situation.
when im out with my friends we have a good laugh and its a good time all round. but we are all 18 so the topic will allways turn to the same inevitable subject. sex.
To be expected from a group of teenage boys. ;) Many times amongst your peers, even girl groups, sex will be discussed because it is seen as a new and interesting topic. It is also because they want to make themselves feel "cool" about the issue, as if they are more mature, more experienced, or more desireable. Usually with age, the topic will be treated with more confidentiality, instead of blatantly talking about it like they would about the latest awesome video game.
i have never had a girlfriend 'cos im awqward (sp) around the oppsite sex and tent to put my foot in my mouth, despite that they still like me as a friend. but thats not my point.
That's perfectly fine, everyone takes their own specified amount of time to gain the confidence to mingle in style with the opposite sex.
i seem to be the only one who isn't going at it like a rabbit. i always end up left out of the conversation and end up being left alone. i dont want to tell them to shut up about sex as that would have the effect of using paper as a bomb shelter and my friends to tend to get upset easly, but i dont like being abandoned all the time.
A perfectly legitimate concern.
should i risk offending them or just sit quietly in the corner and accept it? if you can find an alternative soloution to my proble i will accept sensible advice with a smile. thanks for your time
e-v
All right. I first propose that you use the tactic of changing the subject when they bring up sex. What else do you guys share in common, that you can all talk about with interest and enthusiasm? Think about the different topics that you can use as a segue to steer them from talking about this.
If that doesn't work for long, I next suggest that even though you are worried about the backlash which your friends may give you for voicing your own opinion, you should express how you are feeling to them regardless. Just as you accept them for their lifestyle, they should have the courtesy to accept you for yours as well. Do this in a calm and reasonable manner, and expect at first a negative reaction, but if they are truly your friends I am sure that they will come to an understanding.
Also keep in mind that usually in such a group, guys will fabricate their sexual encounters, even lying about experiences in order to impress and boast amongst others. They are more than likely not as experienced as you would think, so bringing up your feelings just might be a relief to all of you.
Hope this helped!
