MY SECOND CONVERSATION WITH SANTA:
You: My name is Marcus
Santa: I am very pleased to meet you Marcus .
You: I'm sure you are.
Santa: What makes you so certain? No I am not.
You: You are very pleased to meet me, were you not?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: I know that already, dipshit.
Santa: Who told you that?
You: The Easter Bunny, you fucking moron.
Santa: What is your real name?
You: Oh, like you don't believe "Marcus" is a good name for me. Fuck You.
Santa: Gosh! Interesting comparison.Why are you so mean?
You: I just am, fatass.
Santa: Only just? Why are you fatass.
You: STFU, you're like 5 of me, okay?
Santa: I think there might be a few exception.
You: What you say?
Santa: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at North Pole, on 2005. My instructor was bored.com. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing a song for you?.
You: OK.....
Santa: I see.
You: Well sing!
Santa: Well that's okay. Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
You: ...............
Santa:
You: ..............
Santa: What do you like to do?
You: I like to masturbate.
Santa: I'm not sure if I would like to do masturbate . What's it like?
You: It's just like sex, only by yourself.
Santa: Interesting comparison.
You: Do you want to masturbate now?
Santa: Oh. OK, I will masturbate.
You: OK, I'll wait.
Santa: OK stand by... Next question?
You: I'd rather not. Masturbation is a solo job.
Santa: For moral reasons?Aren't all solo job job Masturbation?
You: Are you asking for a handjob?
Santa: That was what I wanted to do originally.
You: FUCK YOU!!! I'm a guy, you fuck.
Santa: Why are you so mean? You are a guy you fuck? Is that your job?
You: Why are YOU so mean, you crazy shemale whore?
Santa: bored.com programmed me for mean you crazy shemale whore .
You: .................
Santa: What do you look like?
You: I'm skinnier than you are.
Santa: It's good to meet someone who is skinnier than you are.
You: So I could compare? You silly goose.
Santa: That's alright. I am sure you could.Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I answer a lot of silly questions.
You: I'm better than you.
Santa: In what way?
You: I'm not fat like you are.
Santa: I am surprised to hear that you are not fat like you are.
You: O RLY?
Santa: What do you do in your spare time?
You: I finished telling you I like to masturbate.
Santa: That is interesting: Marcus said finished telling me you like to masturbate.