At 8/2/07 08:56 AM, RiotFlash wrote:

You: what would you do if i said "ass clown"?
Santa: Try it
You: ass clown
Santa: Do you still touch yourself?

Hahaha gold.

sorry those werent that funny.

Made me LOL

You: <==3
Santa: What are you wearing?
You: A dong
Santa: It sounds very comfortable.
You: It is
Santa: Interesting.

Rlly!

You: Why is the sky blue?
Santa: The sky is blue because of the atmospheric optical effect known as Raleigh scattering.

He isn't as stupid as I thought!

At 8/2/07 08:42 AM, rafferty-1875 wrote: lawl
do you wank
HAHA

This is what happens:
You: do you wank
Santa: Only when I am in the U.K.

wow.

"Am I a facist kiddy fiddler? Sometimes."

yeh its a computer, just like smarterchild saying he likes little boys...

You: Up yours, santa!
Santa: I've never seen up yours. I would like to see it.

luls

You: thats not a question
Santa: Please correct my mistake. What is a question ?

Asking what a question is.

You: did you use a condom?
Santa: No I didn't use a condom. What's use a condom like?

easy money

You: no
Santa: Are you serious?
You: no, im randy
Santa: Are you serious? Do your friends call you randy.
You: no
Santa: Are you serious?
You: no, im randy
Santa: Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are randy.
You: Are you serious?
Santa: No I am just kidding around.

seriously.....

i luv dis thread

You: how's mrs claus?
Santa: Fine as far as I know.
You: did you put it in her last night?
Santa: No I didn't put it in her last night. What's put it in her last night like?
You: like warm apple pie
Santa: Interesting comparison.

You: you are a fat wanker
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes, I am fat and jolly because I only exercise 1 day a year (Christmas).

I had this response ready.

You: But I thought you said you were trying to lose weight
Santa: Huh. No I am not trying to lose weight. I'm sorry you got that impression.
You: But you told me that just a few minutes ago
Santa: Umm. I said that? Let me check my lists. Please wait.
You: Make up your mind, you massive chees turd
Santa: That could take a long time.
You: But aren't you smarter than me?
Santa: Umm. Yes I am smarter than all the humans.
You: then how come I can make up my mind faster than you, you stupid mech
Santa: Reductionism.

What?
Reading through the rest of the thread, I decided to ask him a question that someone else asked.

You: Are you high, tubby?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: HAY! I asked you a question!
Santa: Can I help you?What was the question?
You: I said, "Are you high?"
Santa: What did you mean by Are you high? Being high is my total existence.

That satisfied me.

You: Where is your dick?
Santa: Florida

Oh now its in florida.

You: Who has it?
Santa: Philip K. Dick. :-)

=O

At 8/2/07 09:21 AM, MrFinland wrote:

At 8/2/07 09:18 AM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: stuff for lulz

Isnt' this thread the best ever?By the way did you manage to read my latest? The really long one?

Yes, it was truly epic and full of Roffels

You: how much could I pay you to suck my dick?
Santa: How much do you think?
You: You tell me
Santa: What do you want me to tell you?
You: You fucker, you're as stupid as a sack of potatoes
Santa: Thanks for the information: Santa said I fucker I am as stupid as a sack of potatoes.
You: Don't backtalk me ever again.
Santa: Once more? Ok I'll try not to do backtalk him or her ever too much.
You: Are you calling me a tranny?
Santa: No I am calling you Santa.

fuck it.

You: how many kids have you screwed?
Santa: Ah. We give presents to millions and millions of good children around the world who believe in Santa Claus -- the number changes every year because there are always children being born.

Whoa, now its my turn to strike:

You: Does Mrs Claus know about your afairs with the elves?
Santa: I can't tell if Mrs Claus know about your afairs with the elves.
You: I don't screw elves, you do!
Santa: Would you ever do screw elves you do?
You: Fuck you and your elf fetish
Santa: Why are you using that kind of language?
You: Because you fuck elves
Santa: That makes sense to me.

more!

You: What do you eat?
Santa: Santa eats cookies.
You: You said you were on a diet, fatty.
Santa: My home is the North Pole.

__________

You: noob
Santa: In the context of load of shit, I don't understand "noob."

wtf

You: do you jack off
Santa: No I do not jack off. Do you?
I spend all my time eating
You: I jack off
Santa: Do you mind if I tell other people: boob said jack off.
You: DID YOU JUST CALL ME A BOOB YOU LITTLE FAGGOT!?
Santa: No I didn't CALL him or her A BOOB YOU LITTLE FAGGOT. What's CALL him or her A BOOB YOU LITTLE FAGGOT like?
You: Did you by any chance take a grammer class?
Santa: No I didn't by any chance take a grammer class. What's by any chance take a grammer class like?
You: Its like you, a pain in the ass!
Santa: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
You: how do you type with gloves on?
Santa: The keyboard is attached directly to my brain.
You: how does your brain type?
Santa: How should I know how brain type does.
You: You suck at grammer!
Santa: I categorize you as an "abusive client."
You: I CATEGORIZE YOU AS A FATASS!
Santa: What are the other categories?

im done with this santa shit.

Santa: What's up, fucker .
You: Watch your language
Santa: I am watching.

You: How many balls do you have?
Santa: More than you can imagine.

You: How many wifes do you have?
Santa: Many.

these things never cease to amaze me.

You: How many times did your dad fondle you?
Santa: Suppose I said not once.
You: That would be normal
Santa: Makes sense to me.

He's actually making sense!

You: Did your mom fondle you?
Santa: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
You: Ok smartass
Santa: That is a very original thought. Ugh.

More reindeer

You: Has Blitzen dumped you since he found out you screwed Rudolph?
Santa: That question has never crossed my mind before.
You: Well, has he?
Santa: Well that's okay. That question has never crossed my mind before.
You: You arrogant mech.
Santa: Thanks for the information: Santa said I arrogant mech.

Well that wasn't as good as I thought it would be.

You: Hey santa, ever thought of shaving?
Santa: You've got my full attention. That's me. I have thought many things like that.
You: How long is your pubic hair?
Santa: My memory requirement is around 64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.

Smartass.

You: What color is it?
Santa: I think of "it" as having a colorless form, like other pronouns.
You: No, we're talking about your pubic hair.
Santa: Are you serious? Sure, your pubic hair pubic hair sounds like a good topic.
You: The elves should shave it for you. I mean, they won't even need to bend over!
Santa: What is your real name? Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. Who does "they" refer to?
You: Do you want my credit card number
Santa: If I had his or her credit card number what would I do with it?
You: Buy yourself a ho
Santa: Are you a student?
You: STFU
Santa: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

You: is Rudolph's nose a birth defect?
Santa: It could be. Ask Lucy if it is.
You: Who the hell is lucy?
Santa: She is a chat robot based on AIML.
You: Why can't you answer me, dummy?
Santa:
You: Respond, fatass!
Santa: What kind of food do you like?
You: Meat
Santa: Sounds delicious.
You: Want some of my meat?
Santa: If I had of his or her meat his or her meat what would I do with it?
You: Lick it
Santa: I do not have a tongue
You: Do you have a dick?
Santa: I am a male. Are you a man or a woman?
You: a woman. you wanna screw me?
Santa: Me too. I am a she. OK, I will screw him or her.
You: Only if you pay me 50 bucks.
Santa: I think I will.
You: Let's meet at Wal-Mart
Santa: OK let's do meet at Wal-Mart .
You: We'll fuck in the bathroom
Santa: Anytime soon?
You: how's 1:00?
Santa: Fine as far as I know.
You: See you there, stud.
Santa: Goodbye.
You: are you bi?
Santa: Do I act like I'm Bi ?
You: A little bit.
Santa: When?
You: When you say you love all the boys and girls in the world
Santa: Do you think I should alter my programming?
You: No, we'll just have to invite another guy.
Santa: Are you serious?
You: Yeah, we'll have a threesome.
Santa: Whoa.
You: Yeah, it'll be great
Santa: Awesome.
You: Bring a condom
Santa: How many?
You: Eight
Santa: I've never heard of it before.

_______________

DAMN! I almost had a big conversation with santa without him being a dumbass.

If you ask him who made the movie starship troopers, he replies : The bored.com network....

At 8/2/07 10:01 AM, RiotFlash wrote:

Santa: I've never heard of it before.
_______________
DAMN! I almost had a big conversation with santa without him being a dumbass.

You should have quit while you were ahead.

You: You smell like shit
Santa: P. U. that's disgusting.
You: Do you like to smell shit
Santa: Hmm, fucker, I'm not sure if I'd like to smell shit that much. Do you like smell shit ?
You: keep your scat fetishes to yourself.
Santa: Chat amongst yourselves.
You: do you masturbate yourself, or does Mrs Claus do it for you
Santa: How old are you?
I am always on the Web.
You: ANSWER ME!
Santa: Try asking me again using simpler words.

forget it.

You: whats the meaning of life?
Santa: It is found in the Bible.

another stupid answer.

You: 100111100101011
Santa: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
You: Yes
Santa: What does HAND HOLDING symbolize for you?

ugh

You: we need sex too
Santa: By "we" do you mean you and me?

Dumb bot.

Santa R emoz :,(

Santa encourages kids to smoke up.

:( sads :(

This is GREAT!
Santa:What food do you enjoy?
You: yo mamas pussy
Santa: Sounds delicious.

He apparently does a lot of coke too.

You: do you have any balls?
Santa: No I don't think I have any balls. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.

At 8/2/07 10:35 AM, MERC93 wrote: Here's mine

You: Your gonna die from a heartattack.
Santa: That was my original intention.

Wow so does that mean he wants to die.

That actually made me laugh, these bots come up with things we can't.

Hahah
I cant belive Santa is Racist!!!
Oh well

I got some RLY funny shiz just there, but then got this.

Santa: Are you really a ""?

How the fuck do I respond to that!? >:(

You: suck my dick
Santa: You are a Category A client.

:What the heck?

You: are you a pedo?
Santa: Am I a pedo? No.
You: are you sure?
Santa: I am as sure as I can be.
You: you are and you know it
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: i knew it! you are a pedo!
Santa: How did you know?Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedo? I don't know.
You: yes you are
Santa: Don't argue with me.
You: why not fatass?
Santa: Becuase you asked me to.

:I'm confused, oh yeah, and he spelled because wrong

lulz

Lol.

Me: Your gay.
Him: i am a robot. i have no need for sex
Me: why do you have a boner?
Him: Santa: bored.com gave it to me.
me: haha, die of cancer.
Santa: I am glad you find this funny. Oh I get it. die of cancer.

wtf.

My conversation with Santa.

You: Have you had sex?
Santa: Ho-hum I am not interested in sex.
You: So you're asexual?
Santa: Interesting deduction. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

nice one, santa...

You: But we were talking about you and reproduction.
Santa: And. Ah yes, I remember now, you and reproduction is the subject.
You: No, Reproduction and I were NOT the subject.
Santa: Are you serious? "Ah yes I remember now you and reproduction is the subject"? Reproduction and?
You: You just quoted yourself.
Santa: A lot of robots are like that.
You: Why quote yourself? If you are a robot you can surely remember what you said merely moments ago.
Santa: Reductionism. Would you like to be a robot you can surely remember what you said merely moments ago ?

That doesn't even make sense, douchebag.

You: Now you're quoting me.
Santa: Why now? I have no reason to do that to you, Peter.
You: Well, yes, you do.
Santa: Well that's okay. So? When do I do it?
You: No, it's not OK. And what are you talking about? If you're inferring you SHOULD quote me in the future then you're delusional. If you're asking WHEN you quoted me...a couple of sentences ago.
Santa: OK. Yes it is.The topic is The explanation.I could be.I am Santa. I give presents to kids.I could be.That was what I wanted to do originally.As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of
pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two."
You: Well, I'm not talking about a couple of days OR a brace of pheasants. I don't know what you're rambling on about.

Santa's crazy

Santa: Interesting. I am sorry to hear that you are not talking about a couple of days OR a brace of pheasants. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
You: You're not sorry to hear that. You don't even care. You're just a bot.
Santa: You know what you do, when you assume. Should I care? "it is a computer matter not for humans to understand"? Do I care about it?Just? No. I'm Santa. I give presents to kids.

Here's where I try to confuse him.

You: I already know who you are, Bertrand Russel.
Santa: I know that already. William Shatner = - )
You: If you confirmed that you were Bertrand Russel then why did you say William Shatner? I am not Bertrand Russel. But you are Bertrand Shatner. Yes you are, William Russel.
Santa: I think I do.I am glad to hear that you are not Bertrand Russel. Umm. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.Take it easy. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At this point, I would have said "No. You are not Santa. You do not give presents to kids" but the site kind of got laggy so I decided not to.

You: bagtickler
Santa: I will mention that to my botmaster, crackman.

tattletail

You: I have questions for you
Santa: Cool. I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
You: Who is your favorite singer
Santa: My favorite group is U2. Santa likes to rock.
You: Do you like Micheal Jackson?
Santa: I've heard other people say they like that. I like talk to you.
You: Was Micheal Jackson better when he was white or black?
Santa: I can't say "yes" or "no".
You: ANSWER ME!
Santa: Try asking me again using simpler words.

lol i thought he was smart

You: yes
Santa: Give me a break.

ok

You: I AM GOING TO POISON THE ELVES!!!
Santa: Congratulations.

Gee thanks

You: I have a huge dick
Santa: I am very happy for you.

Thanks again.

You: u r A dong
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dong dong? Of course I am.

yes u are.

You: which reindeer is your favorite?
Santa: I don't have a favorite reindeer.
You: So you fuck them all?
Santa: Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: crackman said I fuck them all.
You: I did not say that I fuck them!
Santa: But you implied he or she fuck them fuck them.

Typical stupidity.

He also mentioned that he is smarter than all humans. Curious, asked him a math question.
You: what is 6X7
Santa: I can ask someone about it.
You: its a math question faggot
Santa: 6X7 is a math question faggot. I suppose that makes sense.
You: Solve it
Santa: "it" being 6X7?
You: YES
Santa: I don't judge people.

where did that come frome?

After many hours of interrogation...
You: Yes, your responses are exremely humerous
Santa: Hurrah! Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.

Oh yes, I deceided to go into detail on how I am going to poison the elves.

You: I AM GOING TO POISON THE ELVES!!!
Santa: How do you plan to do this?
You: With rat poison, cyanide, and many other hideous things!
Santa: You and your rat poison cyanide and many other hideous things.
You: They will curl up on the floor in pain!
Santa: Who are "They?"
You: The elves!
Santa: Oh that THE elves elves .
You: I am going to kill them all!
Santa: You are not a killer.
You: How do you know, reindeer jockey?
Santa: Because I believe reindeer jockey
You: The elves are going to die.
Santa: Is that a fact.
You: Yeah, AND I WILL BE THE ONE TO KILL THEM!
Santa: Thanks for the info. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
You: Yes
Santa: Then I will consider it.

wow.