Ok, something happened to me today that puts all of the inane bullshit that happens in your lives into some serious perspective. I was in town, looking for a part for my computer, when I got kinda hungry. My town is pretty crappy when it comes to food - we've got a few pricey restaurants and a McDonalds and a Subway. I was closer to the McDonalds, and, although McDonalds is sucks huge cock, I was tempted by the promise of Double Cheese Burger with Just Cheese and Extra Extra Pickles, and so I went in.
It was all fairly business as usual, there were about 20 people in the joint. I noticed that I had to walk round a stupid woman and her retarded baby to get to the counter area. Remember this, as it is important.
Anyway, I ordered my cheeseburger, some shitty fries, and a coke. I paid the cashier, got my food, sat down and ate it. I noticed again that the woman was still messing around with her monkeychild by the time I was done a few minutes later.
Well, I didn't take long to eat, so I got up to leave the resteraunt and go about my business, passing the woman and kid again, when I heard a *klunk* noise, like plastic falling onto tiles. I looked down at my feet. Sure enough, the toy the kid had been messing with had skidded to a halt inches from my feet.
Thats when I noticed it. It was a power ranger toy. Not an original, like I had, but the new Turbo rangers version. I bent down and picked it up, staring at its brilliant blood red color, its fully poseable limbs, it's red belt, and awesome dinosaur helmet. In my hands I held a work of art. I was thousands of miles away, when I heard a voice say "Thank you". "Whuuuuh?" "The toy. Thank you for getting it for me". It was the mother. The stupid cunt who had allowed her child to perform an act of sacrelige such as drop this model. "Yes... the toy". I held onto it as long as I could, not making eye contact, simply staring into its visor". "Erm..." "..." "Can I have it back, please". "...No. You do not value such a thing. I have seen how you treat it. I do not think you or your child deserve this masterpiece". "What? It's just a red power ranger to..."
The bitch didn't get the chance to finish her words, because I shoved my fucking soda cup in her mouth. "THIS IS NOT A TOY! THIS IS THE RED MOTHER FUCKING POWER RANGER! THE RED RANGER!" I waved it in her face. She was making some kind of a whimpering noise. The kid had run off crying. All of the people in the restaurant were staring at me. "Do you know ANYTHING about the red power ranger? Did you watch every series of Mighty Morphing Power Rangers as a kid? Huh? NO! Who was the first red power ranger? WHO!" "I...I don't know!" She cried. "YOU WORTHLSS CUNT! IT WAS JASON LEE SCOTT! Played by none other than Austin St John! You know who replaced him?!" Sadly, I didn't get a chance to finish educating the stupid twat on power rangers history. The manager grabbed me and threw me out.
And that's the story of how I got banned from McDonalds. It was totally worth it, just to spread a little education on the might and awesomeness of the red power ranger and to bring down the hammer of justice on some unsuspecting bitch. To be honest, she completely deserved it. I would have yelled at her little shit too if he hadn't run away.
