At 6/14/06 07:23 PM, EmoNark wrote: One thing that bothered me though was the ending. You built up such a fantastic story with twists, suprises, and stuff, and we are given such a subtle-short ending (comparitive of the whole story) and it was a let-down; dissapoinment. (Although I loved the last paragraph).

What was it that bothered you? How I ended it, or how I kind of glossed over everything in the end? I'd been planning that Viper was gay ever since close to the beginning of this story. If you didn't like how brief it was, well, I don't really like the ending too much either. It was pretty shit, I had just finished writing the scene where Adam got in the helicopter, and I guess I was just in a hurry to end it.

At 6/15/06 06:20 AM, tlyer_durden wrote: one question was left unancerd who exzatally threatend all the elders to vote for adam to be guilty?

Lol, I guess I forgot to add that in... It was Viper though, just to piss Adam off.

At 6/15/06 01:47 PM, -Clone- wrote: The part where Viper kisses BNS is oddly familiar to a scene in the Boondocks.

Haha, that's kind of where I got it from. I was wondering if anyone would say anything.

At 6/16/06 05:27 PM, teh_ecks_bawks_hater wrote: Wow, readng through the first few parts sucked. All it was was constant 'wank off' scenes, which beefed up this thread byabout 15 pages. Later on, though, the story started to develope better; overall, I would probably give you a 7/10. It wasn't to good; repetitive; but eventually turned into a great story.

Yeah, I really hate the first part of the story. It sucks horribly. The constant wanking and meaningless sex was more of a devious ploy on my part to attract more readers to the story. Guess it worked, huh?

At 6/16/06 06:04 PM, -Syth- wrote: Do you have msn tantalus?

Yeah, get my email address from my profile if you want to talk.

c and d BAM MONEY SHOT

Someone animate this. This would make an amazing Flash Movie

At 6/16/06 09:23 PM, Conrad93 wrote: Someone animate this. This would make an amazing Flash Movie

Fuck that shit, this could be a movie I'd buy it.

Awesome story, dude! Sucks that you had to end it. Definatley make a 2nd addition to the story.

I wish I could make a post that justifies the sheer awesomeness of this story, but I'll give it a go anyway:

Wow, that's the end, eh?
That was abrupt. I guess I expected this story to never end, but that's the case with most great stories.

When you said that that was the end, I honestly wondered how you were going to wrap it all up. There were so many loose ends in so many of the character's lives, but you managed to do it magnificently, and with hilarious homoerotic antics, nonetheless.
I really did enjoy watching ths story evolve from a masturbation-centered laugh riot to a well thought out novel.

I look forward to the next story, if you ever decide to make one.

Also, you should enjoy your newly regained free time by having a long, well deserved wank, just for good measure. :D

you could make this into a book if you removed most of the wanking and stupid moments like at the very beggining..but overall id give this a 9/10. its a cool story and i hope you make a sequal soon

At 6/16/06 07:02 PM, -Tantalus- wrote:

At 6/15/06 06:20 AM, tlyer_durden wrote:

At 6/16/06 05:27 PM, teh_ecks_bawks_hater wrote: Wow, readng through the first few parts sucked. All it was was constant 'wank off' scenes, which beefed up this thread byabout 15 pages. Later on, though, the story started to develope better; overall, I would probably give you a 7/10. It wasn't to good; repetitive; but eventually turned into a great story.

Yeah, I really hate the first part of the story. It sucks horribly. The constant wanking and meaningless sex was more of a devious ploy on my part to attract more readers to the story. Guess it worked, huh?

No the story was good with all the meaningless secks and wanking it was good and would have been better had you had a wank choice all along but good story glad its over so i can once again sleep

You should publish this. No joke.

Thanks Taunty, For wasting like 6 hours of my life on this. I liked it nonetheless though. So don't feel bad,

In Conclusion, will you carry my children?

At 6/17/06 03:16 AM, Tweak_Dryerlint wrote:

Also, you should enjoy your newly regained free time by having a long, well deserved wank, just for good measure. :D

Already have. Several times.

At 6/19/06 09:58 AM, _Twone_ wrote: You should publish this. No joke.

No, it's not nearly good enough to be published. For this to be published, I would have to completely rewrite it, adding more descriptions, substituting better words in places, and completely getting rid of the sex and fapping. And the beginning of the story made no sense and pretty much sucked. So yeah.

At 6/19/06 10:10 AM, Purple_Slurpie wrote: In Conclusion, will you carry my children?

Yes.

Also, for anyone who cares, I am writing a sequel as we speak. First chapter will probably be up around late july/early august. Maybe even sooner. Keep on the lookout.

The title is "Keeper of the Keys."

I wouldn't make a sequal, it won't be as good as this.

Also, for anyone who cares, I am writing a sequel as we speak. First chapter will probably be up around late july/early august. Maybe even sooner. Keep on the lookout.

The title is "Keeper of the Keys."

YYYEESSSSSSS!!!!

At 6/18/06 07:22 PM, isupportIVXX wrote: No the story was good with all the meaningless secks and wanking it was good and would have been better had you had a wank choice all along but good story glad its over so i can once again sleep

Maybe to people who can't tell good writing from bad. The first few parts of the story were funny; then it just got boring and repetitive, not only because he kept putting retarded wank and sex options, but because everyone chose those. Really, are you guys gay or something? What's so funny about a guy wanking it 30-40 times a week when you actually consider how gay it is that you can read it and still want to continue on to the next part?

At 6/21/06 03:18 PM, teh_ecks_bawks_hater wrote: The first few parts of the story were funny; then it just got boring and repetitive, not only because he kept putting retarded wank and sex options, but because everyone chose those. Really, are you guys gay or something? What's so funny about a guy wanking it 30-40 times a week when you actually consider how gay it is that you can read it and still want to continue on to the next part?

Yeah, you're right. And I've thought about it, and I've already decided the next story will contain no wanking/sex period. Looking back, every single sex/fapping scene I wrote sucked balls and brought down the quality of the story. If my only fanbase is a bunch of fap-happy kids who find wanking hilarious, then sucks to me. I'm not putting any sex or masturbation into the sequel, but that doesn't mean it can't be good.

Fantasitic!
Ive been with you right from the beginning

1 of the 1st posters

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!
if you want a copy of the story, please e mail me dacheat900@yahoo.com
i have it all on MS document.
Of course, if thats all right with you Tantalus

Yes no fapping in the next story! So happy. But you should put in funny stuff like the part with him breaking the floor with his dick. If can do that he's gotta be part Ron Jeremy and part Tommy Lee.

Pure genius, and no life= this story =p. this was amazing. must make more

At 6/21/06 03:26 PM, -Tantalus- wrote:
Yeah, you're right. And I've thought about it, and I've already decided the next story will contain no wanking/sex period.

awww lol
Looking back, every single sex/fapping scene I wrote sucked balls and brought down the quality of the story.
not really, there were ok
Still, your strngth is dteail and action pack suspenseful shit.
I dont care if you have wanking or no wanking. Your work is still amazing
11/10 thread
and as ive said every time...
THREAD OF THE YEAR!!

No more wanking? fine by me.

Well, the part where he tried to dig through the ground with his wang was funny though.

that was fucking AWESOME

C) Rape her Fine ass

It only makes the story even more interesting!

At 6/21/06 05:30 PM, strumpy wrote: Fantasitic!
Ive been with you right from the beginning

1 of the 1st posters

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!
if you want a copy of the story, please e mail me dacheat900@yahoo.com
i have it all on MS document.
Of course, if thats all right with you Tantalus

No one will bother to email you when you can just copy and paste the entire thing off his website.

http://www.freewebs.../myfirstbbsstory.htm

Oh, and I'm glad you decided to get rid of the wanking. I also read the first chapter of you next story. ;)

But it was hilarious, because I was listening to Queen's Don't stop me now when I was reading the part where the girl got raped.

What's the Title of this story anyway? You sed the sequal would be 'Keeper of the Keys', but this one.. ?

D...D...D

At 6/21/06 05:30 PM, strumpy wrote: ATTENTION EVERYONE!!
if you want a copy of the story, please e mail me dacheat900@yahoo.com
i have it all on MS document.
Of course, if thats all right with you Tantalus

It's on my website, so don't bother. If someone wants it they can get it off there.

At 6/26/06 05:33 PM, teh_ecks_bawks_hater wrote: I also read the first chapter of you next story. ;)

Hope you liked it. Once I figure out the rest of the plot, I'm going to start posting chapters on Newgrounds.

At 6/26/06 07:09 PM, The_Abomination wrote: What's the Title of this story anyway? You sed the sequal would be 'Keeper of the Keys', but this one.. ?

I have absolutely no idea. If anyone has ideas for the title that don't suck, feel free to PM me with them.

1) I hate you people that choose options which have been done ages ago please read it all the way through

2)Awsome story and the wanking was funny first few times then it wasnt funny so the no wanking/seck in sequel is totally fine with me but as other people have said keep in those really funny parts like the touching wenis thing, that was hilarious

3)No offense but... Keeper of the Keys are you shitting me? Thats a shit name and once I know the plot and stuff of the story maybe I can think of a better name

Wow I never got to vote on any of the story but that was amazing and hilarious with the random sex and fappage good job that rocked ^_^....... and the last paragraph fappage to end the thing was just the perfect way to end it.

can someone give me a link to his new story i cant find it

your story was <fucking> awesome