Sorry I haven't been active much. Friggin' school... Anyways, Phantom, that story was pretty good. I got kind of confused when I read the end first. Then I saw your next post. But, overall pretty good story. As I can see, no one has answered in my quest. I NEED IDEAS!!! Just some ideas for a speech that Damon(my main character in my story for those of you who haven't read my chapters posted on my profile) is going to give in Chapter 3. PLEASE HELP!

Now you gotta give back Phantom. I've gotten zero comments on my few paragraphs.

At 9/10/07 07:16 PM, Light-Aurora wrote: The Inatament object description

a teddy bear

That=Awsomeness.

Aside from being a cute description, it was also pretty accurate of most conventional teddy bears.

Also, nobody read my thingy?

I rather liked it. It's definitely my cup of tea, military.

I'm sorry thething, but i have to report you to the mods. I don't care if storys are adult storys, but that just pushed it WAAAAY too far. I offially ban you from the writers club for 2 weeks.

At 9/11/07 08:12 PM, gunground wrote: I'm sorry thething, but i have to report you to the mods. I don't care if storys are adult storys, but that just pushed it WAAAAY too far. I offially ban you from the writers club for 2 weeks.

I PROTEST!

So what if it was an adult story, this is a writer's club, what point is there to it if at all if we cannot post our writings, no matter of whatever nature they are, I realize you are young and might not be able to appreciate this sort of writing that well just yet but you should know it was pretty good as far as I know and if you ban him it will be utter and unjustified Censorship and if it does, I will leave, I cannot be in a club that restricts our natural right to express ourselves in writing so much, keep this ban, and I will walk, lift it and give people the right to write ABOUT ANYTHING THEY LIKE as long as its legal and I will stay, simple as that.

I believe the reason is because we're all different ages on here. Plus there was no real warning from what I can see. Personally I think the ban is worthy.

I also don't think...for lack of a better term, porn, is the best way to display a person's skills. There are many authors I have read who even though they are leading to a sex scene, they skip it altogether and show the characters waking up the next day.

But I confess I have written sex scenes myself, but I don't post them on a public board such as this where you never know what age people really are. I see the writer's club as being family friendly, at least to a point.

Just my thoughts really. But if you quit Phantom, I think you are quitting for the wrong reasons.

Demonic Chaos: Chaotic Oracle's Prologue

Across the time twisted wreckages of Rillanon, it seemed at first to only be the mice that stirred. Forgotten cobblestones, scarred by unnatural flames littered the derelict streets. Crows sang sorrowful lullabies, as they pecked at the sockets of the scattered corpses, burnt, blackened, and scorched. The semi-erect buildings tilted in the gales of the Midnight Vale, as the wind whistled through shattered windowpanes and mangled foundations. Yes, upon a single inspection, only the mice that ran from hiding hole to hiding hole stirred in this forsaken place.

The moonlight however showed this place differently. The Village of Tears was far less than abandoned. It wasn't the deathly squeak of the mice, or the mournful din of the crows, but the echoing footsteps of The Wanderers; The Mage's Circle's chants were far from a good night's sleep. Tall, hooded figures they were, robed from head to toe in black, hands lost in deep sleeves, wearing nothing but the earth on their feet. Their hoods stopped any of the strangely foreboding moonlight from reaching their features, though no earthly light could do them justice; deformed from hundreds of generations of inter-breeding, enough to keep anyone from visiting their lonely home. Solemnly, they paced their paths through the rubble. The rubble of the daytime; the kick stones of the night. Moans it seemed whispered from their charcoal lips. Chants; more precise. Incantations; exact. The very words they whispered - Aislic, the ancient tongue - were the words to keep them walking, to keep them talking. The very words they whispered kept the rocks rocks and the skies skies.

It was on this day however - the coming of the flames - that they stopped. A silence louder than Thunder's roar; like the crash of tidal waves on jagged rocks. No mice squeaked. No Crows crowed. The mage's circle, much documented as they walked, crossed paths for the first time since the Beginning; five, meeting at the five points of a pentagram. Each mage removed his hood in turn, and the night blinked to life. Clouds raced from forgotten corners of the skies, meeting with imbued precision. The world decayed. Monuments of jagged limestone smashed through crack and crevasse, whilst the sun chased the moon in twilight blur from east to west. Grass grew, fell and grew again, as trees grew higher than mountains in seconds. Mountains expanded, melted and formed in moments in the eyes of the five. They joined hands, and the whispering began.

Marc Sul'Deep was his name, oldest of the Magi. He wasn't part of the five, but time had altered for him the same. He walked the thirty leagues of the Midnight Vale in the time it takes to skip a rounded pebble from the shore, with masterful speed for his uncountable years. Upon meeting the five, he slowly crouched under the arms of two and stepped into the center of the pentagram, engaging in a stance of complete concentration. The clouds screamed black omens, and parted in a perfect circle unleashing an unbroken beam of golden light. The light engulfed Marc, raising him from the ground, and the whisperings continued, increased, intensified. Purple lashes of energy whipped at the tightening grasps of their hold, their tendons were bulging from their fore-arms. The chants were as screams, and Marc revealed his purpose. He spread his arms from his cloak revealing a battered quill, soaked in unworldly ink. It reflected mysterious shadows across the changing surface of the earth in the reflection of the light. He scribbled furiously into the twilight, the purple lashing at the nib, imprinting his mark unto the sky. The violet glow of his letters on the sky was not thwarted by the golden light, it overcame, and it spread. An eerie blackness crawled up the light, Marc's scrawls intensified. The neon of the text was enough to blind, as red electricity sparked in the air of the circle. Intertwining between letters and interlocking between sentences, the red encased the letters, forming parchment for the scribe.

The darkness had almost engulfed the light when it happened. That single bolt of lightening from Marc's quill, sealing the document. Followed by another, stronger, brighter, piercing the heavens to the moon where it lay still. The clouds separated. The Earth rested. The moon crawled across the sky, ablaze with licking flames.

© 2007 Tyler Moyer

This is the prologue(Introduction) for my new RPG adventure series. 'Demonic Chaos'.

Unfinished

At 9/12/07 07:39 AM, 1Housefan wrote: I believe the reason is because we're all different ages on here. Plus there was no real warning from what I can see. Personally I think the ban is worthy.

Oh please, you aren't mentally ill are you, as soon as it good to the "I want to have sex with you" part it was obvious what is was going to be and you could just NOT READ.

I also don't think...for lack of a better term, porn, is the best way to display a person's skills. There are many authors I have read who even though they are leading to a sex scene, they skip it altogether and show the characters waking up the next day.

Well some people avoid describing a sex scene, and some make WHOLE books out of it and sell them quite well, I believe if a person thinks he does it best, he should have a right to do so.

But I confess I have written sex scenes myself, but I don't post them on a public board such as this where you never know what age people really are. I see the writer's club as being family friendly, at least to a point.

You are supposed to be over a certain age to join NG, if you've never seen or read a sex scene before that age, you are either a prune or a failure at looking at porn online.

Just my thoughts really. But if you quit Phantom, I think you are quitting for the wrong reasons.

If I quit, I will have quit for justice and for the first amendment, for freedom of expression and speech.

I think Phantom's right. Banning TheThing is unjustified censorship and there is no reason we should be punishing him. He posted a fantastic story! Amongst the other's posted here, it was definately one of the best and the sex scene was the greatest part about it.
I'm not just some perv who likes pornography. That part of the story actually was a lot better than the rest of it. He really let himself go while writing that and it shows the depths of his creativity. Whereas I fealt what came after the sex-scene was lacking quite a lot. I propose that we don't censor one-another within this club, as it is supposed to be a place of creativity and imagination. To surpress creativity and imagination is, to me at least, one of the greatest crimes you could possibly commit. That is why creative censorship ought not to exist.
Remember the Newgrounds slogan: Everything, By Everyone. That means to punish TheThing would go against what is essentially the soul of Newgrounds.
I suggest that the solution be to let TheThing off with this graphic and brilliantly written scene, this time, and to insist that people have a warning of explicit content in the future, if it's really that important to people. I acknowledge that there are some youngsters in this club but that is no reason to silence those who are more mature.
It was not priorly stated that it was a rule to warn of explicit content, so there was no reason for TheThing to think it wouldn't be okay. You can't punish someone for a law that didn't exist.
I am sure we can all agree that it is okay to post this sort of content so long as a short warning is given at the start of people's posts, in the future. Other than this, we should not have to censor our creative works and should people read it who did not want to, it is their own fault.

I'm one to hate censorship in all its forms. Then again, I'm twelve. So if my mother walked in on me reading that stuff, I'd be dead.

But since I just left Metal Hell, I couldn't cope without this club for two weeks.

Eh, i'd have to say the ban is unjust, but neccessary.

At 9/11/07 08:12 PM, gunground wrote: I'm sorry thething, but i have to report you to the mods. I don't care if storys are adult storys, but that just pushed it WAAAAY too far. I offially ban you from the writers club for 2 weeks.

Your right, I should have put a warning in there about that part. But I think the sentence "I want to have sex with you" is a sufficient warning that the next part is going to be bad.

Also, I've seen other story threads that have just as much as I do that don't get people banned. I believe that since my story wasn't based around that part, or that my story could be enjoyed without that part should be enough of a reason that it should stay. And as Schmut said, that was one of the best parts of my story.

If you let me off with a warning this time, I'll remember to but an NSFW warning. I won't lie and say I'm sorry for what I wrote, nor for what I didn't warn people about, but I felt that it was artistically done and it's my first amendment right to say what I want to say without someone getting their pannies in a bunch.

At 9/12/07 03:40 PM, Schmut wrote: Whereas I fealt what came after the sex-scene was lacking quite a lot.

Meh, I was feeling a little rushed towards the end. It was beginning to get lengthy, so I had to cut it short after that scene. Also, when I finished, it was 2 or 3 in the morning, so I was pretty tired.

At 9/12/07 05:03 PM, TheThing wrote:

At 9/12/07 03:40 PM, Schmut wrote: Whereas I fealt what came after the sex-scene was lacking quite a lot.

Meh, I was feeling a little rushed towards the end. It was beginning to get lengthy, so I had to cut it short after that scene. Also, when I finished, it was 2 or 3 in the morning, so I was pretty tired.

There's certainly no doubt that you're a great writer. I never assumed that sex was a speciality of yours, though that may have been the case. I'm sure you'd be good in most aspects of writing when you're in the right state of mind. It's always difficult to be creative when you're tired or angry or upset... but some may actually find those beneficial. It all comes down to the state of mind and the character of the individual doing the writing. I know that when I'm tired most of the stuff I write is awful. I gradually lose my skill until 2am and then by 4am I won't be able to write a thing. If I'm still awake at 6:30 in the morning, though, I get a sort of second wind. The thing about that second wind is that what I come up with isn't very good but I'm at least coming up with something. Nothing I'd be proud of in reflection. After 9am, I won't be able to write anything for the rest of the day.
Sleep deprivation isn't a good thing for writers. I read somewhere, though I don't remember where, that quite a lot of people like to write first thing in the morning. It is believed that they'll be more creative because, having not quite woken up yet, they'll be more in touch with their subconcious. I haven't tried it out myself, but it sounds like a good idea. Still, I think I'd rather have breakfast.

I agree, this is a writers club. Writers should be able to express themselves anyway they want in here. That is one of the main reasons I joined. I agree, sex scenes are pushing it a little, but after the girl said "I want to have sex," I just skipped over that part and read what happened afterward. He kind of warned you it was going to happen. I say TheThing should be able to stay! HUZZAH!!!

At 9/12/07 06:06 PM, Schmut wrote:

At 9/12/07 05:03 PM, TheThing wrote:

At 9/12/07 03:40 PM, Schmut wrote: Whereas I fealt what came after the sex-scene was lacking quite a lot.

Meh, I was feeling a little rushed towards the end. It was beginning to get lengthy, so I had to cut it short after that scene. Also, when I finished, it was 2 or 3 in the morning, so I was pretty tired.

There's certainly no doubt that you're a great writer. I never assumed that sex was a speciality of yours, though that may have been the case. I'm sure you'd be good in most aspects of writing when you're in the right state of mind.

I've never really written sexual scenes before a couple months ago, so I never thought that I'd be real good at it. I feel like I write better action sequences, although I haven't really written creatively in a good 3 years.

It's always difficult to be creative when you're tired or angry or upset... but some may actually find those beneficial. It all comes down to the state of mind and the character of the individual doing the writing. I know that when I'm tired most of the stuff I write is awful. I gradually lose my skill until 2am and then by 4am I won't be able to write a thing.

If I'm conscious, I can write. It may not be great, but it's words on the paper.

something about being just woken up when writing.

I'll have to try that. I've never heard about that, but I guess it'll work. The only problem I see is that your grammar and spelling will be horrible because you aren't fully awake.

Still no one has commented on my piece of story. Is it honestly that bad? =/

I give up on the whole banning debate. Though I will say perhaps a better approach TheThing could have made is put it on his userpage and link to it here with a sufficient warning. If that had been done, none of this would be going on. Just my thoughts anyhow.

At 9/12/07 09:51 PM, 1Housefan wrote: Still no one has commented on my piece of story. Is it honestly that bad? =/

Meh, it's pretty good. I'm not sure what's going on from the little you gave us, so I can't really tell if the story is good. The writing is good though.

I give up on the whole banning debate. Though I will say perhaps a better approach TheThing could have made is put it on his userpage and link to it here with a sufficient warning. If that had been done, none of this would be going on. Just my thoughts anyhow.

Actually, it's in a link in my userpage. It was from a request, which I'm doing from my userpage. That's why I'm making all these stories; because people throw an idea at me, and I'll give them a story. Speaking of which, Here's the last few paragraphs of the story.

-----------

"No!" I whispered out. "No! Why is the sword working now? Making it stop!" I was yelling now. The burning sensation was intense. I was able to roll over onto my back so I could watch in amazement as my body began to dissolve.

I put my hands down to try to wipe off what was happening, but to no avail. I then gasped. My hands were disappearing too! "NO! NO NO NO NO NO! MAKE IT FUCKING STOP! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!" But all the men and women could do was watch as my elbows went away, along with my genitals, which were still some what sore from the previous night.

I would have been flailing in pain and angry, if I had limbs. I was now just a limbless corpse, waiting to be killed. And still the people watched. I continued to dissolve. Now my torso was gone. I was just a head. The last thing to go was my brain, so it could process the pain I was going through and the pain I had put so many others through.

At 9/12/07 09:51 PM, 1Housefan wrote: Still no one has commented on my piece of story. Is it honestly that bad? =/

It was surprisingly good, I was impressed at how well you stretched small actions over a long period of time in writing. Keep it up.

Well I've never posted in this club but here it goes,

The street was dark and wet. Perfect for my mood. But maybe she will take pity on me if she sees me the way I am. Head down, soaked, and depressed. I knocked. My fiancé answered the door.

I guess I was wrong, because the moment I told her she pushed me away from her door and that she needed to do some thinking. My stocks crashed so I had to postpone the wedding. Also, my mother grew ill and I have to go visit her before she can no longer embrace life.

Lost in thought, I came to my front door. I reached into the broken lamp outside for my keys to get inside and was awaited by a cold and almost empty living room. It's where I spend most of my time. So I sat down to take a nap and take my mind off things.

But I just couldn't sleep. I kept asking myself, why am I here? Why am I in such a disposition? Maybe it started back in grade school? No, no. Nobody learned much of importance there. Most learned it at home.

I had to be high school. It's when I stopped caring for school. It's when I started to stay home and mope around feeling sorry for myself. But more specifically it was because of my incompetence. Or rather, my self-discipline.

I could never make myself run a step farther then my feet wanted to carry me. I could never do homework because I was too tired. I couldn't do anything that involved something that I didn't want to do.

It was my fault, and now I'm lying in the bed I made. I didn't care for school so I didn't go to collage. Now my job possibilities are limited. I used to shop-lift (and still occasionally do) and got arrested. I now have a record. I had good health but I drank it away.

Then I was out of high school and getting a job. But what was that job?
Apparently I spoke that aloud for I got a reply, "A garbage boy, of course! How could you forget?"

My heart jumped. I was standing right in front of myself! I saw me, only it wasn't me. Or... Maybe it was. But regardless, I was scared. But the fear left my heart only an instant later. It's not like he'll do anything if he really is me. I know; I am me.

"Ah. How did I forget? I guess my mind just blocked it out. It was a bad time after all. Worse than others," was my reply. I felt a chill so I poked the fire around in my fireplace and the flames roared once again.

"Was it that? Or was it the other incident going on at the time?" I guess he saw my expression and said, "You really don't remember anything. It was your dad. When he turned into a drunk. That's how you started drinking, stealing from his stash."

Once again, my heart sank. It was just a month later when my fathers habit of drinking got out of hand. He didn't hit my mom, like in most drunk father stories, but that was because she left. I'm sure she would've shared turns with me.

"And do you remember when you were about to quit your job but your dad fainted and you had to continue to work for money for the hospital?" It was too much. Just the one memory. I had enough floating around in my head.

We stayed up, talking about all sorts of mishaps and screw-up's I've been in, all of the relationships where I was used for the little I had, the times when I tried my hardest in an event and the guy who just started beat you at it. I don't know why I kept talking of those sorts of things, but it was all I could think of to talk about. It was comforting in a way.

The morning crept upon us, lighting up the dust in the air, showing me just how much I neglect my housekeeping duties. I didn't even feel tired at all. Just depression. And only talking about it more would fill the hole.

I heard quick and small footsteps at the door and then they stopped. I begged my pardon to myself and went to the door to see if they were till there. I looked around but I guess they ran out of sight before I got to the door.

Right before I turned to shut the door I glimpsed an envelope on the ground in front of the door. I knew whose it was and I was afraid to know what the letter contained. I sat back down by the fireplace and opened the letter.

I felt like I had no point in living. I just wish I didn't open the letter. "So she dumped you, I see," I didn't notice myself walk behind me. I assumed he read it because of the words he spoke.

Even though I knew he read it I had to tell him why. As he walked back to his usual spot i said between sobs, "It's because I can't support a family! Because I can't get a decent job! I'm a bloody waiter! She said that my personality was amazing to her, but she had to balance the decision using her heart along with her brain.

"Well I could've told you that without even reading the letter! I know your past. I am your past! You need to become a man! Go back to school! Pursue your dreams. You're not good enough for her."
I snapped. All in one fluid motion a lunged at him with my fire poker to try and stab him. I fell through him and stabbed myself in the ribs. After seeing his smile my vision faded...

-

I awoke in a white hospital bed. I knew because to my right was the doctor himself. I grunted for I could make no other noise. "Awake? Well let me just finish mixing the shot fluid and I'll be right over. It truly is amazing, though, that you had the energy to call here even with that wound."

I nodded my head as if he saw me and lay back down. "Here. This should put you right to sleep."

I opened my eyes to see who the doctor who was healing me was and for maybe the hundredth time telling you, my heart jumped. I was staring into my own face. And where the doctor should've been holding the needle, he clutched a knife...

this story is not finished but I plan on finishing it real soon. Sorry about the length

At 9/13/07 09:35 PM, AbductedCow wrote:

this story is not finished but I plan on finishing it real soon. Sorry about the length

whough! great story so far! i liked it almost as much as HFS's story! really good.

sorry for double post, but i just now realised the situation with the-thing and his story.

first and foremost, even though i dont like the system much, gunground, you cant ban him, its in the rules. the crew leader does not have final say, the mods do.

aside from that though, even so sexual as it is, its free speech, and you cant stop that. sorry gunny, i gotta take phantom's side.

i wrote this for a class assingment, and i would like your imput on it. the first paragraph was what i had to work by. every thing else after that is my story

also, i joined a day in the life rpg fourm, gungrounds. just fyi, username is Zombie Genocide.

You wake up one day to find yourself living somebody else's life. Whose life are you living? What happened to your life? How does it feel? What do you do? Write a story about the experience of being someone else for a day. Use details so that your reader will understand your experience.

I stood there eying my burly foe. He was taller, older, and stronger than me. In his right hand, he had a HUGE sword. I had to beat him to go on. I took a look around the round arena. The place was old, but still packed. I was on the inner brick circle, with a wall around with markings from a long time ago. Just behind the wall was the seating. It was slanting up kind of like a stadium. Every single seat was filled. It was loud there, messing up my thoughts.
I just looked around, and told myself the same thing I have told myself many times now.

This Isn't my life.

I am in the same body, I am still the same person, and still in the same clothe, but this is not my life. I'm not a hero, I'm not even unique. So why am I not at home, instead of here, about to take on a person, who has an advantage?

My opponent charged while I was still thinking, and caught me off guard. He jumped and brought his sword down from over his head. I jumped, rolling to the left, just before he made impact. CRASH! The sword hit the ground, leavening an indent in the brick. I gawked at the sight. That had to be pretty heavy to leave a mark that deep!

However, this was not the time for that. I ran to the near wall and picked up a pole then ran right back into the fray. As soon as I got within striking range again, he got his weapon out of the ground. He swung it behind him. I barely ducked in time, and it almost took my head.

My guess was right when I thought the weapon was heavy, because the last move he made caused him to be thrown off balance. I saw my opening there, and with all I could muster, I rammed my shoulder into him! With that "push" I gave him, he completely fell over onto his back. I quickly moved to his side and pointed the staff at his neck. We both knew who the match belonged to.

I completely forgot that the crowd was there up till now. But they were screaming something that I did not want to hear, and I wished that they would go away again.

"KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!"

I ignored the crowd, and lowered my weapon. I got a lot of boos from the peanut gallery. I gave my opponent a hand and helped him up.

"Nice moves there" ,he said to me, to my surprise.
"Thanks" ,I replied.

I turned and walked out of the arena. Only when I was out of public view did it hit me.

I had won.

The whole concept was just unreal! How in the world did I pull that off? The feeling at that moment was a mix of awe, excitement, and terror. What if this was the life I was meant to live? What if I am not meant to go home?I forced the thoughts out of my mind. "I am going home!" ,I said, and I walked on, ready for anything.

pretty cool mr ninja! i liked it. sounded kinda like a match of soul caliber...

i would be posting stories too, but i just cant think of anything to write. we do stuff in school, but no fiction so far, and thats the only thing i like to write.

Hey AbductedCow, that was a pretty good story. I really liked it. You have talent. Naruto-ninja999, I didn't like yours so much. I don't know why, but maybe it just doesn't heat my taste.

At 9/13/07 02:28 AM, Phantom wrote:

At 9/12/07 09:51 PM, 1Housefan wrote: Still no one has commented on my piece of story. Is it honestly that bad? =/

It was surprisingly good, I was impressed at how well you stretched small actions over a long period of time in writing. Keep it up.

Thanks, that's a lot coming from you. :) I might put some earlier paragraphs on my userpage.

Okay, a few of the paragraphs before the ones I posted earlier are on my userpage. Check it out. (Warning: Lesbian undertones and Nazi-ness)

OK, new story on my user page, comments please. Didn't post it because it is too damn long for 4 consecutive posts, I hope you enjoy it, it took some time to complete. If there will be no comments within the next 24 hours, ON the user page I'll be....upset.

At 9/13/07 10:41 PM, MonkeyV wrote:

At 9/13/07 09:35 PM, AbductedCow wrote:

this story is not finished but I plan on finishing it real soon. Sorry about the length

whough! great story so far! i liked it almost as much as HFS's story! really good.

Thanks! This is the first time I've applied myself so I didn't realize that anyone would actually like it.

On another note...

I just realized that I wrote some sentences that don't make sense so I need to fix that. I got an idea for the ending and I'm going to go back through it and put in some more detail. What I have so far is on my profile so you're free to go comment that.

I probably wont post the completed version until Saturday night because I am going to my dad's today.

At 9/14/07 12:05 AM, MonkeyV wrote:

, but no fiction so far, and thats the only thing i like to write.

yea, fiction 110% of the way!