00:00
00:00
Newgrounds Background Image Theme

Jmurr12 just joined the crew!

We need you on the team, too.

Support Newgrounds and get tons of perks for just $2.99!

Create a Free Account and then..

Become a Supporter!

The beast awakens

471,379 Views | 706 Replies

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 05:28:52


In 24-Hours, I'll come back and choose the best suggested origin story...I need my beauty sleep.

Good luck, Dick Neck! Hope that they come up with one that retains a fraction of your dignity.


-Formerly known as Phobotech-

Voice Actor / Pre-Production Animator / Illustrator / T-Shirt Designer / Author

"I sail through a golden nexus. By tanks with armor that glisten. I watch and I play with creations, and what I'm not reading, I listen." <-

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 06:10:01


I gotta admit, the last 5 or so pages of this thread have been really fucking anti-climatic. What's with all these new images being posted of other douchie looking guys? This is not an acceptable way to treat Dick Neck. Dick Neck is our friend and as such we should show him the utmost respect, and continue photoshopping him into every possible scenario that exaggerates his neck even more than it's already exaggerated in real life.

Frankly, the only entertainment I've had these past few pages was the appearance of YoinK and Phobotech's potentially awesome comic book series. You all have greatly disappointed me, I hope you plan on making it up.

Also, as much as I hate to admit it, it's almost become painstakingly obvious that Dick Neck is just a troll account. But, either way, this shit was still thoroughly entertaining.


I've been refurbished and reissued, prepackaged and precooked, decontaminated and deloused, but I still smell, sound, look and feel like shit.

New to the video game forums?

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 06:24:15


At 4/30/09 05:28 AM, Phobotech wrote: In 24-Hours, I'll come back and choose the best suggested origin story...I need my beauty sleep.

Good luck, Dick Neck! Hope that they come up with one that retains a fraction of your dignity.

Once upon a time, in the days of old, man and beast roamed the world as rulers. During this miraculous period of shared sapience (which no one remembers or ever will mention again), a man named Heinrich Schlonger and a Giraffe named Gertrude fell in love and became wed. Soon, thier union bore a son named Porro. Porro was much beloved by his parents, and later his transgender sister/brother Irma. A quite lad from Jersey, no-one knew this Porro Schlonger one day grow up and become the man we know him as today; DICKNECK, conquoer of Hedge Mazes, destroyer of fence provided privacy, saviour of both the free world and Extra Wide Scarves Inc!


;){____/| Anime Reviews /|\ Actually an '06er /|\ New Short Story! More to come. |\ ____}(;

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 06:25:36


At 4/30/09 06:10 AM, DirtySyko wrote:
Also, as much as I hate to admit it, it's almost become painstakingly obvious that Dick Neck is just a troll account. But, either way, this shit was still thoroughly entertaining.

Let's just live our lives like he's real.
I mean. If billions of people can live their entire lives pretending God is real, then surely we can pretend that Dick Neck is not some alternate account for the purposes of this thread.

Also: snapping turtles.
Also: Aigrettes
Also: Wack-a-moles


BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 07:25:35


At 4/30/09 05:28 AM, Phobotech wrote: In 24-Hours, I'll come back and choose the best suggested origin story...I need my beauty sleep.

Good luck, Dick Neck! Hope that they come up with one that retains a fraction of your dignity.

One night after the gym, he jack off and his cum fly over on his face and drink some of it..
He fell asleep and after that , The Beast Awakens.....

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 11:20:15


I suggest you stay away from airports.

Or else this will happen. Innocents will be harmed.

The beast awakens

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 11:27:14


At 4/29/09 08:59 PM, DrForeman wrote:
fuck you man thats no cool bolo and me have normal necks see you guys just have short necks ever think about that maybe you all are just a bunch of short necked faggots that are pissed because i have a normal neck and bigger muscles, i heard in biology in 9th grade that having a NORMAL sized neck compared you your guys short neck means your brain stem is longer making it better for me to process information so yeah fuck you.

thats probably why me and Bolo are so much smarter than you faggots because we actually have normal sized necks instead of your short ass necks and Bolo looks like he works out too so he probably gets layed all the time

Your grammar is as bad as a pig's personal hygiene. And seriously, u spell jealous as jellyous? Epic fail. And btw its get LAID. Not layed. LONG LIVE THE DICK NECK!


Hank rocks!!!!

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 11:57:11


Wow, this is epic. This is the longest thread I've seen that bashed someone...who kind of deserved it.

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:01:35


Here is a pic of Dick Neck when he was just a young lad. As you can see, in his prepubescent, pre-steroid abuse days. His neck was retracted into his body, perhaps as he hit puberty, when his balls dropped and his penis enlarged. So did his neck.

Very Interesting...

The beast awakens


Ohoho, aren't I witty?

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:06:53


At 4/30/09 10:59 AM, Shakyjake wrote: Vote 5!!!
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/49 3581

I especially liked when you put the choppah gif.


BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:08:15


so what if he has a long neck

jeez

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:14:43


haha look at how long his neck is!

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:16:02


This thread = Fucking win.


Don't expect intelligence.

"VEGAN IS SYMBOLIC OPPRESSION! STOP THE MURDER OF PLANTS! GO SUNLIGHT DIET!"

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:16:46


At 4/30/09 05:17 AM, Phobotech wrote: I need to make this a continuing series, exclusive to this thread...

For the love of all that is green and good, you MUST continue with this series.

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:18:10


At 4/30/09 07:56 AM, Shakyjake wrote:
At 4/30/09 03:48 AM, galatea1 wrote: Still think he needs to lay off the cheesy-poofs.
Where you have failed, I have succeeded. Feel free to worship me.

I offer sacrifices to your altar

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:18:37


This is just 11 pages of funny posts, followed by 11 pages of people not letting something die. This has went from a funny troll, to a shit storm of people trying to jump on the LULZ bandwagon. The jokes are worn now. And this guy has a dickneck.


Click my sig for all the information in the world!

PM me if you like the new sig. I like feedback.

And attention whoring.

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:22:28


At 4/30/09 06:24 AM, Podburrys wrote: Once upon a time...

I think that story brought a tear to dickneck's eye.

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:23:54


At 4/30/09 12:18 PM, Death-Affiliate wrote: This is just 11 pages of funny posts, followed by 11 pages of people not letting something die. This has went from a funny troll, to a shit storm of people trying to jump on the LULZ bandwagon. The jokes are worn now. And this guy has a dickneck.

A dickneck. Yes. Let us not forget what's important here.

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:37:08


Oh no guys, I think we made his dick go soft..

The beast awakens


life can be real fuckin crazy

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:40:08


At 4/30/09 12:37 PM, link-011 wrote: Oh no guys, I think we made his dick go soft..

Oh noez! Now he wont be able to fuck your my mom! D:


:D

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:40:59


At 4/30/09 05:28 AM, Phobotech wrote: In 24-Hours, I'll come back and choose the best suggested origin story...I need my beauty sleep.

Good luck, Dick Neck! Hope that they come up with one that retains a fraction of your dignity.

the day started off like any other day for amateur weightlifter DrForeman but by the end of the day his story would become legendary. He had been going through his normal routine and was at the Mathematics lab studying for his major with his friend lordTurnip. They were both trying to be as macho as they could and eventually decided to compare penis size. LordTurnip pulled out his dick and DrForeman felt a strange feeling burning inside him. He began to salivate and lustfully said

"wow thats a nice dick, im jellyous"

then before he knew what he doing he was deepthroating LordTurnip with hot passion. LordTurnip looked down at him with love in his eyes. The ectasy was too much for him and just as he was blowing his load an explosion went off in the science building next door. the two lovers were thrown apart but lordturnips seed had already been planted.

When DrForeman woke up in the hospital he found himself in quarantine. The explosion had been radioactive and they were monitoring him for side effects. Lord Turnip had severe memory loss but he was physically okay. There was a problem with drforeman though. the semen in his throat had reacted strangely to the radiation. Some sort of cell malfunction had caused them to turn into the last cell they touched. THey were now penis cells and they were growing and mutating his neck into something unreal,

something disgusting...

something phallic...

a dickneck

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:42:41


I hope you learned an important lesson about posting pics about yourself DrForeman

Dickneck Dickneck Dickneck Dickneck Dickneck Dickneck Dickneck Dickneck Dickneck Dickneck
oooohhhh i'm so jellyous

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:43:36


Rumerio, thank you good sir for giving me a good laugh in this thread again.

Daps

:D

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 12:50:44


At 4/30/09 12:40 PM, rumerio wrote:

LMAO..
Reading it make me really laugh!!
Nice one rumerio!

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 13:07:21


Ding! 666th post

Consider this your forum hazing drforeman

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 13:08:57


At 4/30/09 05:24 AM, Phobotech wrote: Anyone want to throw down for what the poor fool's origin story is before I draw it down as a comic?

Bitten in the neck by a radioactive dick vampire, now he lives to suck dicks.


Need a hot dicking?

JonasATnewgrounds.com

I do voices.

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 13:42:59


At 4/30/09 01:08 PM, Jonas wrote:
At 4/30/09 05:24 AM, Phobotech wrote: Anyone want to throw down for what the poor fool's origin story is before I draw it down as a comic?
Bitten in the neck by a radioactive dick vampire, now he lives to suck dicks.

He got raped by Mr fantastic and The Thing.

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 13:44:42


At 4/30/09 01:42 PM, TheTrooper5 wrote:
At 4/30/09 01:08 PM, Jonas wrote:
At 4/30/09 05:24 AM, Phobotech wrote: Anyone want to throw down for what the poor fool's origin story is before I draw it down as a comic?
Bitten in the neck by a radioactive dick vampire, now he lives to suck dicks.
He got raped by Mr fantastic and The Thing.

It's clobbering time.


Need a hot dicking?

JonasATnewgrounds.com

I do voices.

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 13:55:23


Your pecs and abs are shitty as hell.


Gamertag- MarshallxDav | Steam ID- Eshneh | LastFM- MarshallNPK

BBS Signature

Response to The beast awakens 2009-04-30 14:03:42


At 4/30/09 01:51 PM, richard91b wrote: hey were is ol'dickneck anyways he has not posted in a long time

it's pretty entertaining when he posts
he helplessly tries defending himself
but u cant win against NG Forums


BBS Signature