I'd bother to respond to your entire text, but it leads to this sentence, where I will answer your whole issue:
Do I take pride in my work? Of course.
Having pride in your work leads one to think you're both confident and proud of your creations, that the means of having achieved your own pride is by only having ears for the music you create, and the confidence you produce is because you believed in what you made.
But I still care what others think
Then I find it hard to believe an individual who takes pride in his work, would be willing to sidestep himself for someone else's ears, just as much.
I know I'm not perfect, so it's best to see what others see when can't for yourself. Know what I'm saying?
You say you're not perfect as a way to remain humble, even after saying you pride your work, the next sentence translates to; "I do not trust myself with my own creations nor do I know why they were made, I must have other people judge them for me". So yes, I know what you're saying, you're confused.
Awfully bold to protect a genre when you have nothing to base it from, keep in mind the subject is about Hip Hop on NG, and the only way you can defend it is by bringing in a basis outside of NG, in other words, you could not create what you feel are the ideals of something you want to protect, beyond a few "open experiments", you are simply mimicking a genre you heard somewhere else, made by other people.
That's kind of like a man saying a particular kind of food is good, being told from the only man who ate it, who had a chef create it for him.