I just thought of a few more,
"In any given store(I.E. grocery store, department store, etc.) the employees are never around when you need them, but they are always around when you don't need them." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
"You can't fix stupid" -- Ron White
"Cats will always sharpen their claws on the exact furniture you don't want them scratching." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
"The probability of an ant infestation is directly proportional to the amount of food in/on/or around the baking counter, or the warmth of the house in which you are living." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
"Whenever you buy new towels for a family visit, they have to cancel and never reschedule." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
"When you really got to go, there's never any toilet paper around. It's either in the cabinet under the sink, or there's none at all and you have to call your roommate/mother/father/brother/sister to get you some." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
"The amount of times you need to wipe, is directly proportional to how bad you had to go and how long you were on the toilet." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
(Sorry for the bathroom stuff, it just came to me)
"The cost of an airshow hat is directly proportional to the awesomeness of the airshow itself." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
"The cost of painting the interior of your house is indirectly proportional to the house and paint store, but directly proportional to how picky the wife is." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
no I'm not sexist
"The cost of a hunting trip is indirectly proportional to the cost of gas, but directly proportional to the hospital visit from Cheney shooting you in the liver." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
"The amount of spiders in one's house is indirectly proportional to the amount of insects in/on/and around the house or outside the house, but directly proportional to the fact that they love to piss us off." -- Me(SlntCobra1)
That's all I got for now, if this is a double post, I apologize. If not, then who cares?