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Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee

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Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 21:34:08


So...I have been working at McDonalds as a manager for a couple years now, and in that time I have seen stupidity reach new lows. Here I will post periodically little stories of stupid people that have come through the restaurant, or very well just annoying or funny things that happen on a regular basis.

You are welcome to come and comment on the stories, and you surely can ask a question or myth you have heard about McDonalds, and I will try to answer any and all questions, so long as they are not "McDonalds sucks!" posts. I work, there, I know it does, I don't need you to tell me that, it's still fun to work with some of the people there and if you come here just to flame, kindly GTFO. Anyways, on to our first story:

Well big duh you whinny baby

So this story is short and simple: One time I had a customer who was pissed because he had a problem with his salad. He was yelling and swearing left right and center and demanded to see a manager. The problem? "My crouttons are hard and stale"...

Well I really didn't know what to say. I try to explain to him that indeed, that is what crouttons are supposed to be: stale hard bread. He wouldn't listen. obviously all the other packets of crouttons we had were the same, so he just left pissed insisting he was going to write a letter of complaint to Head Office - he did, but got told the same thing.

How stubborn can somebody be to not accept he is wrong?

Can you hear me now? - Good

This is something that happens at the DriveThru all the time. Sometimes the headsets will work perfectly, you can hear a fly buzzing around outside. The problem lies in that when they work properly, you get quite a bit of an ear injury when somebody with a diesel engine starts off their car right in your fucking ear. Or a cop car goes by. Or an ambulance...it's amazing how loud thesews things will be in your ear...yet whe it's a customer talking...

Now, sometimes we can't hear you for a number of reasons: you have anoying and loud kids in your car, they won't shutup and are yelling different sandwiches in your ear, and you get mad at us for not being able to listen.

You will sometimes have a car that is polite enough not to have the radio on too loud, but will blast it after they are done paying, right next to the paying window, and then we can't hear you, or them, or anybody else for that matter.

You whisper when you talk, or you have somebody in the far back seat trying to order, but they talk like we were there with them in the car. We can't hear you.

One of my favorites? if we tell you we will be with you in just a minute, it means shut up and we will be with you in justa minute. A lot of people ignore you and just start ordering right away. When this happens I pray it's a huge ass order just so that when you are done I will tell you like nothing has ahppened "welcome to McDonalds, how can I help you?". If you are going to get mad at me for not listening to your order, when I clearly said I would help you in a moment, it means I will not pay attention because I am busy with either a) another customer or b) I', getting your fucking food because we are so short staffed I have to do the cash, the getting of food and hand it in all by myself. Have some patience!

More DT stuff

We've had a couple not only come through DT where the chick was sitting on the guys lap and they were fucking, they ordered and drove away still at it. Similarly, we have had girls giving blowjobs while going through DT.

There was a customer that got banned from the restaurant because he would buy a milkshake, just he could throw it in the presentr's face as soon as he got it. he did this for two weeks straight.

Another moron insisted for us to give him a dine in tray through DT and refused to move if we didn't give him what he wanted. We ended up calling the cops 'cause he backed up the line and didn't budge.

-----------------------------------------

There will be more coming later, if you actually read through all that, congrats, it will get better, I promise :)

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 21:37:50


Those made me laugh. Especially the "More DT Stuff"


Thanks to Turkeybean for the sig.

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Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 21:38:58


Very nice, poor people are such retards sometimes.

Can I ask I question? Are you happy working at McDonanlds? Do you feel...you could have done better?

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 21:43:27


I worked at taco bell for 6 months, and was the only one there who knew what i was doing, so it was always me, a manager, and some new guy trying to run a restaurant. I fucking hate being short-staffed.

I also hated trucks with diesels, and heavy rainstorms where you'd have people drive up to the window to order because you couldn't hear them through the speaker, then another car would be talking in your ear through the speaker.

Or people that ordered in spanish, assuming that somebody who spoke the language was working, and when nobody knew any spanish got offended.

Or families with 20 little kids that order 90,000 items and leave all their trash, trays and bodily secretions at their table, and rearrange all the chairs in the restaurant just to leave them where they brought them.

I like this thread.


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Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 21:47:15


At 10/28/06 09:38 PM, FeargusMcDuff wrote: Very nice, poor people are such retards sometimes.

Can I ask I question? Are you happy working at McDonanlds? Do you feel...you could have done better?

Thruth be told, I actually do enjoy working there. I KNOW I can do better and in fact yes, I do plan on looking for a better job, but right now it is the most convenient thing. You see, I have a pdecently fast metabolism and I eat about 300$ worth of food a week by myself. Working here not only do they feed me because I'm a manager, but is only a block and a half away from home, and hours are pretty flexible, which is what I need right now during college.

It has it's up and downs, and yes I do put up with a lot of crap (I'll tell those some other posts, there's so much to tell it will be a lot of material to write), but like I said before, is mostly working with some of the people there that make it worthy. Any job will be like that. Besides, is good life experience, if you survive McDonalds, you will survive anything :)

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 21:50:57


if you survive McDonalds, you will survive anything :)

Ha, yeah I can belive that.

But $300 of McDonalds a week? Isn't that like more than Morgan Sperlock?

Gief mor storyz plz

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 21:59:15


I used to work at McDonald's as a manager too!

One night, I was working overnight during a crazy Big Mac and small fry for $2.22 sale. It was just me taking orders and doing all the manger stuff, and one kitchen person, who did not normally work in the kitchen. This was a saturday night in the summer time. When the bars closed at 2am, we started getting order after order for about 10 of these deals at a time. All of the stupid drunk hillbillies were getting wicked pissed because of course it was taking a long time to make 10 Big Macs per car. One guy told me I better watch my back on the way home.

To make matters worse, it was daylight savings time that night, and when the time went ahead, we were totally screwed when it came time to switch to breakfast and get the insane mess cleaned up from all the Macs.

The last straw was when the idiot Store Manager came in the next morning and starting yelling at me because the place looked like a dive. She was the dumbass that made the schedule for that night. This was the day I quit. :)

Hey man, here's a question for you. When you work late and wait on a drunk in the drive-thru, do almost all of them start their order with "I want ... fuckin' ..."

lol

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:12:34


Here are some more things that happened on a regular basis:

Late at night after the bars closed, people would get out of their car and piss on the drive thru speaker after they ordered.

People will bring food back that is 90% eaten then tell you it was cold, and demand a replacement.

One time, someone in drive thru brought back a hamburger because it was cold. It was partially frozen in fact, because the jackass had obviously put it in his freezer at home.

Another idiot dropped a cheeseburger in his car, then came back to the store and demanded to have his car upholstry cleaned. His reason was that there was too much mustard on his burger.

When old men order things, they speak in an inaudible old man voice, then after the fifth time you asked them to repeat their mumbled order, they speak loudly and clearly "ARE YOU DEAF?"

One time an old man ordered a "chocolate Sunday", and when I said "Will that be everything?" he said "CHOCOLATE!". Old people can not hear either.

One time an old man ordered something, and when I asked him if it was for here or to go he replied "Nah, I'm gonna go sit with that other old bastard over there". haha

One someone took a shit in the urinal. That sucked.

I can't tell you how many times I've cleaned up Happy Meal puke.

Oh there's so many more, but i'm tired of typing.

Craiger

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:15:11


Haha, nice stories. I was going to work there once, but luckily worked in a fish and chip shop instead.


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Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:17:18


At 10/28/06 09:50 PM, FeargusMcDuff wrote: But $300 of McDonalds a week? Isn't that like more than Morgan Sperlock?

well, not 300$ just McDonalds, I meant in general/average I will spend that much, all snacks, food, coffee, etc :)

Gief mor storyz plz

Alright, here's a couple more:

OMG, quick! get the fries!

So this one time a lady insisted she wanted fresh fries. That's no problem since a lot of people don't mind waiting the extra 3 minutes just for fresh fries. There was only one problem. After exactly 30 seconds from coming up from the vats, she would say that they had been exposed to air for too long. I don't know WTF she was on, but seriously, 30 seconds? eventually we managed to get he stupid fries in the box and the bag quickly enough. She never came back to the restaurant and wrote a letter of complaint to head office. They ignored her :)

The late night posse

Of stoners that is. I don't mind pot smokers, a lot of my friends do it but know I don't so they don't offer anymore, and I understand you get the munchies afterwards, but why oh why must you do it so late at night, show up at McDonalds 5 minutes before close when we have nothing left, and order 5 meals for each person? all supersized of course, all grilled with extra stuff. Fuckers.

I ate the stuff, but I still want my money back

You found something wrong, but didn't complain right away, you ate it, no money back, as simple as that, yet some people...

One guy ate his entire salad, maybe left one or two leaves. He came back and complained we had given him the wrong dressing for the salad and not only did he wanted his money back, he wanted a new salad. The nerve. Of course he left pissed 'cause I refused.

Another time, they complained we put pickles and it shouldn't have had any. fucking pick them up and eat your damn burger!...ah, but of course, this one time they did exacyl that...but came back with a third of the burger left and demanded a new one done right....yeah, no.

Haunted Basement

I swear we do have a haunted basement. There will always be weird noises, things falling by themselves when nobody is around, things dissapearing and appearing next day exactly where it was supposed to be....

At first I didn't pay attention to it, then I accepted it, and now is just like habving a neighbor you don't care to pay attention to, you just know it's there.

More to come! :)

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:24:36


I love you...

but mickey d's is bad for you.

Also a Wal-Mart SuperCenter opened up,with of course,a mcdonalds in it. Well this wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that the Wal Mart opened a quarter mile from the ACUTAL McDonalds we've had for like...ever. What's with McDonalds and fucking with fat people?


I've been Fab since the re-design,have you?

JUST BECAUSE I LISTEN TO COREY HART :'[

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Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:29:34


At 10/28/06 10:17 PM, NemoX wrote: OMG, quick! get the fries!

Fresh fries? What the fuck? It's McDonalds! They come frozen, then you thaw them out. People!

The late night posse

Pff, just close the doors and turn off the lights, they're all high, they wont know where they are.

I ate the stuff, but I still want my money back

That's just stupid. Although I have seen a guy get completly free meals. Here Is how he did It.
"I'll have <order>"
"Okay here It Is"
"W-wait, have you washed your hands?"
"Erm...I...ha...I.."
"You serve me food, and you diddn't wash your hands, I'm not paying for that"
/Dialogue

Haunted Basement

Ha. sounds like you have a rodent problem ^_^

More to come! :)

Yey. Do you ever get annoying when people ask for 'plain burgers'? I do that alot.

Also Is It a tottal lie that McDonalds employies spit In their burgers? I'm really scared about that :'O

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:31:18


At 10/28/06 09:59 PM, CraigSchriver wrote: I used to work at McDonald's as a manager too!
Hey man, here's a question for you. When you work late and wait on a drunk in the drive-thru, do almost all of them start their order with "I want ... fuckin' ..."

LOL, well, I have deal with drunk people, but luckily here in Southern Alberta we don't have the 24 hour thing :)

Anyway, my internet is a little bit slow (read: a lot) tonight, so if I take a long to time to answer somebody, is because of that. If anything happens, I'll stop posting for tonight and just resume tomorrow.

Any more questions guys? :)

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:31:50


Interesting reads...


!

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Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:32:58


do your clothes stink after working there and is it true they put bird feathers in the milkshakes?


Grey power.

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Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:34:20


Is it true that the employes piss in people lemonade?

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:36:06


I hate to attention whore in your thread, but I have a funny story about fast food.

The second day I worked at Taco Bell somebody ordered 11 grande meals (a grande meal is any quantity of tacos, soft tacos and burrittos that adds up to 10, so we had to make 110 tacos and burrittos) and it was the middle of the dinner rush, so there were about 11 cars lined up out into the street just to get some damn Taco Bell. The bitch that was parked in front of the speaker kept making loud, audible comments about how slow we are and how everybody inside must be stupid and blah blah blah. The assistant manager (at the time) finally got on his headset and explained the situation. The woman didn't want to hear it, and stuck to insulting us for being the victims of random chance.

When she got to the first wndow where I was taking cash she asked me why we are so slow, even though the situation was explained to her in clear english. I told her once again that we had an extremely large order, and that we had to grab lettuce and cheeze from the back and take it straight from the bags in order to complete it.
"Well you guys should be more prepared for something like that. Honestly, I find it disgusting." was her reply. I apologized for the wait once more and sent her off to the next window.

2 minutes later I hear Hunter (the, then, assistant manager) bellow "WELL FUCK YOU TOO!!!" slight pause, "I don't give a FUCK if your kids are in the car!!" another slight pause, "Well fuck you too, I QUIT!!!!" and he walked out and never came back except to get his checks.

This was the man that told me just the day before that if I ever said anything like that to a customer he would kill me himself.


NGMartial Arts Club Are you Man...

MUSIC | or a little, dying cosmic whore...

Speak with your actions, come from your core.

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Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:39:40


i can just imagine what the potheads were like when they came there

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:42:03


At 10/28/06 10:29 PM, FeargusMcDuff wrote:
The late night posse
Pff, just close the doors and turn off the lights, they're all high, they wont know where they are.

Unfortunately, we can't...we do close 5 mins early sometimes, it helps a lot believe it or not.

I ate the stuff, but I still want my money back
That's just stupid. Although I have seen a guy get completly free meals. Here Is how he did It.
"I'll have <order>"
"Okay here It Is"
"W-wait, have you washed your hands?"
"Erm...I...ha...I.."
"You serve me food, and you diddn't wash your hands, I'm not paying for that"
/Dialogue

I make sure my employees wash their hands every 20 mins like they are supposed too :)

Haunted Basement
Ha. sounds like you have a rodent problem ^_^

nope. We made sure of that already. It's a ghost :)

Yey. Do you ever get annoying when people ask for 'plain burgers'? I do that alot.

not really, but we have a highschool right next door, and on saturdays is chineese school, you can tell a lot of my stories are going to come from that....

Also Is It a tottal lie that McDonalds employies spit In their burgers? I'm really scared about that :'O

No man, that only applies if you are at a McDonalds run by rednecks and white trash (the real white trash, not the clicje'd one). However, just to be safe, be nice to your servers, like one of my favorite quotes from the movie WAITING: "don't fuck with people that handle your food".

Also a Wal-Mart SuperCenter opened up,with of course,a mcdonalds in it. Well this wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that the Wal Mart opened a quarter mile from the ACUTAL McDonalds we've had for like...ever. What's with McDonalds and fucking with fat people?

Oh man, don't get me started, We have the same thing, the main store, and a Wal-mart one also run by the same restaurant manager. A lot of stories there too.... (oh yeah, and Wal-mart people always seem so angry...wonder why?)

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:42:38


At 10/28/06 09:38 PM, Whitcomb wrote: So what is that WHITE stuff they put in the big mac sandwiches?

IDK, but if its what I think it is...WHERE THE FUCK DO I SIGN?!


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Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:47:04


At 10/28/06 10:44 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote: These are hilarious! You gotta read these!!

Who are you talking to?

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:53:18


At 10/28/06 10:47 PM, PulpChaos wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:44 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote: These are hilarious! You gotta read these!!
Who are you talking to?

Who the fuck do you think?

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 22:54:54


At 10/28/06 10:53 PM, FeargusMcDuff wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:47 PM, PulpChaos wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:44 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote: These are hilarious! You gotta read these!!
Who are you talking to?
Who the fuck do you think?

Your mom.

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 23:02:10


At 10/28/06 10:54 PM, PulpChaos wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:53 PM, FeargusMcDuff wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:47 PM, PulpChaos wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:44 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote: These are hilarious! You gotta read these!!
Who are you talking to?
Who the fuck do you think?
Your mom.

No flaming please, that's why PM are for :)

Somebody asked about the white stuff in BigMacs. No, it is nothing bad, just regular mayo.

About the feathers in the milkshake: I got asked this question the other day, something to do with making our shakes thicker or something?

I dunno about before, but nowadays, is just regular vanilla flavored milk, we dump it in the machine and it spins and makes the icecream and/or imilkshake. The feather thing is another stupid missinformed myth.

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 23:03:38


Dang, you guys that work in fast food, I've got to admire you. It would suck. I worked at a grocery store once, in the meat department. I've got plently of war stories from that experience. People suck. Customer service sucks worse. I will never work it again. But keep the stories comming, they're funny.

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 23:04:25


At 10/28/06 11:02 PM, NemoX wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:54 PM, PulpChaos wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:53 PM, FeargusMcDuff wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:47 PM, PulpChaos wrote:
At 10/28/06 10:44 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote: These are hilarious! You gotta read these!!
Somebody asked about the white stuff in BigMacs. No, it is nothing bad, just regular mayo.

I wouldn't be too sure about that, my brother used to work at a Mcdonalds as the night manager and he actually caught one of the employes masturbating into the mayonaise tub.

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 23:10:08


At 10/28/06 11:04 PM, Nucksta wrote:
At 10/28/06 11:02 PM, NemoX wrote:
Somebody asked about the white stuff in BigMacs. No, it is nothing bad, just regular mayo.
I wouldn't be too sure about that, my brother used to work at a Mcdonalds as the night manager and he actually caught one of the employes masturbating into the mayonaise tub.

The are sealed now. And we don't mix the Mac Sauce ourselves so that we can't tamper with it. No funky love sauce, sorry :)

by the way, I have been trying to update my sig to include a link to this topic, but it keeps sending me an invalid request method error telling me to make sure i have not been redirected by a automatic action scrip or something like that, any idea what it could be? I have never had a problem changing my sig before.

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 23:18:52


by the way, I have been trying to update my sig to include a link to this topic, but it keeps sending me an invalid request method error telling me to make sure i have not been redirected by a automatic action scrip or something like that, any idea what it could be? I have never had a problem changing my sig before.

it's happening all over are there any stories about tards ordering or working there?


Grey power.

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Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 23:31:05


At 10/28/06 11:18 PM, Jack-Of-Hearts wrote:
by the way, I have been trying to update my sig to include a link to this topic, but it keeps sending me an invalid request method error telling me to make sure i have not been redirected by a automatic action scrip or something like that, any idea what it could be? I have never had a problem changing my sig before.
it's happening all over are there any stories about tards ordering or working there?

thanks for the heads up :)

and yes, that's what this topic is all about, retards on both sides of the counter, but like I said, it's been a couple of years, there are many stories, some I will need to give a little bit of background info on the place I work, so I'm saving the longer stories for later posts. There will be plenty, don't worry.

Here's a quickie one about a retarded employee we had: Did you ever tried a BigWest? it had Bullseye BBQ sauce, so it's smell was quite pungent considering we had it by the galons. You can't mistake it for anything else...or so we though, and employee put chocolate syrup instead of the BBQ sauce in the container and we had a couple of chocolate flavored Big west burgers...only one person came back and complained :)

Also, random fact about my stay in MacDonalds: I HAVE NEVER HAD A BIGMAC YET! That's right, and you wanna know why? 'cause I'm stubborn and I insist that it will be a good conversation starter later down the road, just 'cause I want to be able to say: "I worked at McDonalds for X years and never had a bigmac", then people will say "no way" or something like that and then we can talk from there :)

Response to Memoirs of a McDonalds Employee 2006-10-28 23:49:06


I wait impatiently for more crazy erotic antics at McDonalds.


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