My social life is dead because I allowed it to be.
I could have tried helper to maintain friendships, keep up with them, do things but it's just not in my interest anymore. I understand how considering sad this makes me and my life but it's something I prefer. I was bitterly let down by my closest friends as a teen and I wish I could say I've recovered but I haven't. I had made plenty of friends since them but my trust levels seemed damaged beyond repair so I just gave up on them all.
Even now I have chances to make friends at work. This one girl I work with thinks I'm hilarious and enjoys my company. She's already casually mentioned that we should do things but once again I find myself denying myself of a chance for friendship. I know it's something I need to address better as otherwise I'm going to be a 50 year old spinster with no one, but I just don't want to right now.