NaN:NaN
NaN:NaN
--:-- / --:--
Newgrounds Background Image Theme

InterloperFur just joined the crew!

We need you on the team, too.

Support Newgrounds and get tons of perks for just $2.99!

Create a Free Account and then..

Become a Supporter!

The squid are coming.

3,656 Views | 46 Replies

The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


From our first evolution, human beings have sought to dominate replace all other forms of life. This is the way of nature.

However, as land dwelling mammals, we've suffered from the delays of evolution to create complex creatures such as ourselves. Placental mammals appear comparably late in the fossil record compared to the vast majority of life forms, such as lizards and insects.

Furthermore, our land dwelling ways limit us to access only 1/3 at best of Earth's planetary resources. Only recently has offshore exploitation of the ocean's natural resources begun. Considering the other 2/3's of the planet's resources are completely untapped, this puts us at a considerable disadvantage to being the earth's predominate lifeform.

Molluscs, such as squid, however, have had TRILLIONS OF YEARS to out-evolve us. Sure, surface ocean squid such as what we are accustomed to only have the intelligence of a common dog, however, the common monkey also lacks vital competitive edge. Squid are fully capable of complete color change. Imagine if you will if human beings had EVOLVED television technology as opposed to inventing it. No factories, no chemicals, just every inch of your skin in 100% control of it's color and texture. This is how squid are NOW, and these are not the highest evolved of their kind.

Somewhere, deep inside the ocean, the giant kraken live, huge squid, with brains potentially much larger than ours. They have been waging war against some of the most intelligent known mammals, the whales and cetaceans, for untold millions, if not BILLIONS of years. Occasionally their mangled corpses wash up on our shores, or the beaks of their number that are devoured by whales are found in their predator's stomachs.

Here, we have the potential for a creature that is smarter than a human, stronger than a human, more highly evolved and integrated with it's technology than a human, and capable of surviving pressures that would crush our puny human skulls.

The kraken require no tools, they require no cars, no guns, none of the crutches that humanity has burdened itself with. They have access to more resources on this planet than we could possibly imagine.

AND THEY HAVE EVERY REASON TO DESTROY US.

Live in fear and trembling, pathetic humans. The squid are coming.

Fear will keep you alive. Hate is your only weapon against them. Prepare now, or face the consequences.


This is a song about death. It's on mandolin.

Hate is the first step to all solutions.

You will not end bigotry until you learn to hate it.

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


Calamari, anyone?


BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


Giant squids are what keep me out of oceans.


Check out my new song ''Open the Eyes Of My Heart Lord''

3rd place in the weekly 5!

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


They are already here, they control us.

Your friends? They are just squids disguised as humans to watch your behaviour mannn.

Freaky shit dewd.

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


Thank god for the oil spill.

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


First they kill our men, then they mate with our women.

The squid are coming.


[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


You need to sit down with a book on evolution and rethink everything you just wrote there... what the hell do they teach in school these days?


"I don't got nothin'... but I'll give what I got"

-The Nightwatchman

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


Nukes.


BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


Their immunity to the that immense pressure under the ocean also prevents them from surfacing.


sandwich-eater: you know shits about to go down when you're taking a shit, and gravity is present.

Twitter - Tumblr - Pickle

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 06:22 PM, Gagsy wrote: First they kill our men, then they mate with our women.

Oh those bastards..

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 06:21 PM, o0-0o wrote: Thank god for the oil spill.

Did it never occur to you that that probably just REALLY PISSED THEM OFF?

Squid have TEN ARMS. Two long grabbing arms, and EIGHT HOLDING ARMS. That's not counting suckers, of which they have varying numbers. Human beings have achieved all their greatness with only TWO arms, and best estimates say we've only managed it for the past million years AT BEST.

Godzilla ain't got shit on the squids, gentlemen. When the super intelligent squid tank division starts storming the shores of the gulf coast, you won't be laughing any more.


This is a song about death. It's on mandolin.

Hate is the first step to all solutions.

You will not end bigotry until you learn to hate it.

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 06:22 PM, Gagsy wrote: First they kill our men, then they mate with our women.

I..
What, exactly, is the purpose of that?


BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 06:22 PM, Gagsy wrote: First they kill our men, then they mate with our women.

Gagsy, I honestly love you.


sandwich-eater: you know shits about to go down when you're taking a shit, and gravity is present.

Twitter - Tumblr - Pickle

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 06:22 PM, Gagsy wrote: First they kill our men, then they mate with our women.

Ooh la la

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010



The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 06:30 PM, Can-head wrote: Their ally the octopus are already invading the ground...

How is that possible?! You know, Funk might be right.


sandwich-eater: you know shits about to go down when you're taking a shit, and gravity is present.

Twitter - Tumblr - Pickle

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


I believe a wise man by the name of Jules Verne found out the Squid's weakness and wrote about it in a book of his. Apparently, the only way to kill a Squid is by jamming it into your propellers. All we have to now is plant some sort of bait that Squid like and plant it near the propellers of an unmanned submarine.

Humans: 1, Squid: 0

I'd rather die a Wolf fighting against the Herder, than die a Sheep heading for the slaughter.

AVGN Fan Club. - The Culturally Diverse Crew - The Carnivorous Crew

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 06:34 PM, knightsofthecircle wrote: I believe a wise man by the name of Jules Verne found out the Squid's weakness and wrote about it in a book of his. Apparently, the only way to kill a Squid is by jamming it into your propellers. All we have to now is plant some sort of bait that Squid like and plant it near the propellers of an unmanned submarine.

Humans: 1, Squid: 0

Frankly, sir, your concept is preposterous.

The aforementioned squid are clearly capable of creating devices of mechanized warfare on their own. The question is not "Can human weapons kill the squid menace?" The question is "Can squid weapons kill the human menace?"


This is a song about death. It's on mandolin.

Hate is the first step to all solutions.

You will not end bigotry until you learn to hate it.

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 07:02 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: The aforementioned squid are clearly capable of creating devices of mechanized warfare on their own. The question is not "Can human weapons kill the squid menace?" The question is "Can squid weapons kill the human menace?"

What if they made mech-suits out of coral?
That stuff is sharp, and its protected by law and stuff, we cant even blow it up!
They're using our own governments against us!
We're doomed!


BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 06:22 PM, Gagsy wrote: First they kill our men, then they mate with our women.

Oh, so you actually bought it? Awesome! :D


BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


I'm a little more worried about mutant cockroaches than mutant squid.

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 07:10 PM, RydiaLockheart wrote: I'm a little more worried about mutant cockroaches than mutant squid.

Radroaches are a pest, but Mirelurks will chop your face off and stitch it onto your thigh, just to piss you off.


BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


Alright guys, now we're starting to get silly.

The squid are coming.


sandwich-eater: you know shits about to go down when you're taking a shit, and gravity is present.

Twitter - Tumblr - Pickle

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 07:11 PM, iateamexican wrote:
At 5/31/10 07:10 PM, RydiaLockheart wrote: I'm a little more worried about mutant cockroaches than mutant squid.
Radroaches are a pest, but Mirelurks will chop your face off and stitch it onto your thigh, just to piss you off.

I think radroaches would plan world domination.


BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


I say we put a global embargo on the sale of Squid so that we can amend our strenuous relations and become friends.

Though receiving foreigners with hate has worked so well for international relations I don't see why we don't just do that.

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 07:27 PM, FBIpolux wrote: I ate squid today actually...

All the more reason why the Squid will attack you first.


I'd rather die a Wolf fighting against the Herder, than die a Sheep heading for the slaughter.

AVGN Fan Club. - The Culturally Diverse Crew - The Carnivorous Crew

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 07:29 PM, Gobblemeister wrote: I say we put a global embargo on the sale of Squid so that we can amend our strenuous relations and become friends.

Though receiving foreigners with hate has worked so well for international relations I don't see why we don't just do that.

You fool.

Don't you understand this isn't about human rights for squid, BUT SQUID RIGHTS FOR HUMANS?!?!!?!

Do you REALLY THINK that VAST SQUID EMPIRE give s flying FUCK about HUMANS?!?! We're talking about at LEAST a hundred years of human/squid relations, probably starting with a war and ending EVENTUALLY in some form of peace treaty.

Frankly, I'm just hoping like hell I don't end up a slave to the squids, forced to live in scuba suit and work in their thermal vent powered metal foundries.


This is a song about death. It's on mandolin.

Hate is the first step to all solutions.

You will not end bigotry until you learn to hate it.

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


I don't see what they could do with a 22 gram brain


PLEEZ STEEL MY SIGNICHUR

BBS Signature

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 07:38 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:
At 5/31/10 07:29 PM, Gobblemeister wrote:
Frankly, I'm just hoping like hell I don't end up a slave to the squids, forced to live in scuba suit and work in their thermal vent powered metal foundries.

Don't worry

We just have to intimidate them

They may be intelligent but they are still ignorant. If we domineer ourselves over them early we can suppress them until amicability is reached.

We make them feel like our technology is too much for them to possibly face; and for now it is. Squid can't use machines designed for human hands. We must keep them ignorant and prevent them from building and using technologies as long as possible.

We must keep them ignorant and feed them lies about the status quo of our squid-man hybrid brethren.

One day the truth may be revealed and mankind will be overthrown in a bloody coup.

I only hope I die before then.

Response to The squid are coming. May 31, 2010


At 5/31/10 07:39 PM, Falconpunchr wrote: I don't see what they could do with a 22 gram brain

The giant species we're fining are the equivalent to cows and pigs in intelligence.

Do you REALLY think the hyperintelligent relatives of these animals would EVER get caught by our fishermen?

More likely fishersquids catching US than the other way around.

For hundreds of years, we feared sea monsters. THESE WERE WHAT WE FEARED.


This is a song about death. It's on mandolin.

Hate is the first step to all solutions.

You will not end bigotry until you learn to hate it.

BBS Signature