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Full Time Part Time : Foamy The Squirrel

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Believe it or not there was a time when you could work full time.... illwillpress.com
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There is full time/ BUUUUTTTT you have to be there for *Insert length of time here* to get benefits. Then when that time is close they look for and find any reason they can to fire you so they don't have to give you benefits.

Foamy really speaks the truth with this one! Was positively surprised with the depth of the message, and the empathy he puts into the speech, too. And it's not just a superficial rant on the change, but a full dive into the motive behind it: the ever-increasing company search for profit. I do know people who do have full time jobs, still, in this day and age, but otherwise this is the truth! Solid advice too. Wouldn't it be awesome if we could all just create, and be artists, and share the wealth between us... though somebody's gotta get in some of that wealth through some other source for there to be some of it to share, too... it's a sad, eat or be eaten world. Everyone making a profit off of someone, but props on this one! Great message.


My employer loves me...but wont give me full time. They keep me at 35.5 hours a week, on record...but let me work roughly 44 - 52 hours a week. Since i'm not electronically scheduled for 36+ hours, corporate won't flag me for full time. I DO NOT take their health care coverage because its fucking worthless...$750 deductible on full coverage, limited dental, full health, limited vision, no psychiatric.

They pay me $12 an hr for simple work. All I have to do is put shit on shelves and unload a truck (trollface)! Easiest job in america, just interesting hours as they're flexible...which does fuck with my "social and gaming" life...but I got kids to feed and rent to pay. Can't really bitch when I pull home $1600 gross for wandering around putting shit up on a shelf now can I? Gotta know how to manipulate part time employers, get on your management's good side, and show them that you can do the job any full timer can...and better.

I mean fuck all...I've been working for this company only 14 months and I'm making more than new hires WITH A LOT MORE EXPERIENCE than me do! Hell, we got fuckers who've been working for the company riding 20+ years and don't even make over 11.50! Why? Laziness, Union, and the fact that they scrape by with just enough effort to keep em employed. Go to these places throwing out full-time positions, they "let you go" after 89 days due to 'poor work performance' or you're just not a good match for the position or any excuse they can come up with.

Went to college for HR, walked out with a bachelors. I know all the tricks of the trade, and can even do my HR managers work for her if she would stop fucking around and waiting til the last minute...usually coach the bitch on what to do with certain marketing aspects of our store since we adhere to a Food Stamps region of my city.

Point being...if you want money as a part timer...stretch your limits and push yourself. Show the idiot ass employers you're worth more to them part time than full time...because HEY!...what's gonna happen when your scheduled on a day where you know there will not be shit to do, and no part-timers are scheduled? You're gonna end up doing a shit ton of grunt work, THAT'S WHAT!

Work your hours, save your money, lower your expectations and living standards (to a reasonable venue of course), and prove to your employer that you're worth every hour they give you...oh and if you're worried about health care...free clinics and the ER. Pay your bills off at your own pace and avoid bankrupting yourself in the process. Don't go running to the ER and Clinic with a case of the sniffles or if your kids running a fever of 99.2 - 100.8. Put your brats in a luke warm shower and give them some cold medicine and feed them some old school home remedies that your mommy used to feed you. Sheesh.

Best cure all...
1 Cup of Green Tea, 1 teaspoon of Raw Honey, 1 tablespoon of Cane Sugar, 2 caps full of apple cider vinegar, 1/8 cup of pure lemon juice. Mix Well and CHUG...drink a 12 oz glass of water afterwards and get ready to piss and shit in 2 hours.

Anything Else people?
Employers are greedy bitches when it comes to Full Time...mainly because a lot of people are fucking lazy.

This absolutely breaks my heart with how true it is, but I'm glad someone's saying it. Young people in the workforce need to hear this, and take it all in.

Credits & Info

4.19 / 5.00

Feb 3, 2018
4:38 PM EST
  • Daily 3rd Place February 4, 2018
  • Weekly 2nd Place February 7, 2018