Oh joy. I'll bet that's quite another story in itself.
"Headmaster" . . . we live in entirely different worlds. That's what they call principals in Australia? Cool (:

Nah, other schools, and even the junior section of our school, has principles, the one I went to is just...
myeah, a proper private school.
it was quite lame.

and thanks, I'll send the guy with the sig a thankyou message.

At 11/3/08 07:41 AM, Aci6 wrote:

At 11/3/08 07:37 AM, Dejomel wrote: Well, you can write.

I'm a firm believer in everyone can write to a degree... but this was well written, yes it was.
It's such an interesting read... there's stories like this all over the place, just no one ever writes them down for people to laugh and marvel at the human spirit and how it can endure so much and still be brave... and now I'm sort of gushing.

I guess everybody can write, you're correct, but what the content is matters as well.
Some people can write good articles, but not fiction, etc.
Anywayz
I went back and read snippets of this thread, and I've come to the realisation, today, how...ridiculous some of the things I did was.
gah, looking back...
as of today, I will accept any calls of 'naivety' for this story...
I just...can't believe how...stupid I had been for some of the decisions.

You seem like a very nice guy, and I do think you have the qualitites to make some girl very happy. However, your flaw is that you wait too long to move on to a girl. It's great that you comfort Kelly so well, but since you held that role for too long, she became only used to seeing you as a friend. If your interested in a girl, it's OK to be close to her first, but you need to establish your interest before she permanently sees you as a buddy. Hope this helps!

At 11/3/08 09:14 AM, MistressMelon wrote: You seem like a very nice guy, and I do think you have the qualitites to make some girl very happy. However, your flaw is that you wait too long to move on to a girl. It's great that you comfort Kelly so well, but since you held that role for too long, she became only used to seeing you as a friend. If your interested in a girl, it's OK to be close to her first, but you need to establish your interest before she permanently sees you as a buddy. Hope this helps!

Hmm, It helps, but it's knowledge I have now.
go back twelve months and this piece of writing would have been heaven sent, I suppose.
But I've learnt that lesson now, and...I'm just not going to make moves on friends at all, I suppose.

At 11/3/08 09:40 PM, Rion-hunter wrote: I'm just not going to make moves on friends at all, I suppose.

And that would be the way to go. Not unless you can tell they feel the same way.

What an interesting story.
Had me reading for hours.
Have any Mods actually read through this?
They'd usually have complaints about story threads, wouldn't they?
but this thing is epic.
kudos to you. Sort of.
and luck.
lots of luck

At 9/7/08 02:06 PM, Rion-hunter wrote:

At 9/7/08 02:02 PM, NapoleanD wrote: Hah your sig is a huge link to this topic.

Very nice.

imo.

Mwa ha ha, why yes, yes it is.

I just thought I'd share this with you.
At Amanda's 18th, I heard this song for the first time...And it was as if that instant of my life had been transformed into song form.
It became my theme for many a month.

Excellent story. That must have been really hard for you, and i'm glad you've got Alicia. Funnily enough, that song described my situation pretty well, and still pretty much does.

At 11/9/08 10:55 AM, jakabite wrote: Excellent story. That must have been really hard for you, and i'm glad you've got Alicia. Funnily enough, that song described my situation pretty well, and still pretty much does.

I don't have alicia :P
actually...she contacted me via myspace the other day.
quite randomly.
And I don't think the guy she had as her boyfriend is in her top friends anymore.
I wonder why she contacted me...
hmmm
*fakes stupidity*

I'd love to hear more :)

I fail to see how someone could build an attachment to another human, to the point where you require them to continue with you life.

I believe love is another word for need. Once you get so used to using another person to get by, perhaps you become addicted to such a thing? I don't quite understand.

However, I did read the entire story, and i'd like to say that you make a good point throughout, and I enjoyed the read. She was a dirty slut though, and it is beyond me why she caught your eye anyways.

I hope your new relationship works out much better than the former.

At 11/11/08 09:56 PM, Matt475 wrote: I fail to see how someone could build an attachment to another human, to the point where you require them to continue with you life.

I believe love is another word for need. Once you get so used to using another person to get by, perhaps you become addicted to such a thing? I don't quite understand.

However, I did read the entire story, and i'd like to say that you make a good point throughout, and I enjoyed the read. She was a dirty slut though, and it is beyond me why she caught your eye anyways.

I hope your new relationship works out much better than the former.

Who knows.
I'm just...nuetral over the whole situation now.
I don't know how I got attached.
I've usually found myself the very opposite when it comes to the whole relationship thing...
I guess, having been like that, i wasn't prepared for what happened, I guess.

Okay newgrounders. I'm drunk.

woot.

And I'm going to send her a message (over myspace) (while drunk) that goes as following.

I'm drunk right now, and I know I'm going to hate myself in the morning for this, but I'm just going to type my emotions over the ENTIRE situation, right now, right here, and wait for the regret to roll in.

Just over a year ago (within a week) all this shit happened with Sam's birthday party, etc....and I felt...that...it's been twelve months, it's been long enough.

and I'm not going to make much sense, coz I'm smashed...Yet I can still type...wtf....

But, pretty much, this time a year ago, I said something along the line of 'if you ever need someone to talk to, I will always, forever, be there for you."
and still, looking back, I know that wasn't a lie.

Sam's party, for me, was the day I grew up. Was the day I stopped, somehow, thinking the world revolved around me. Looking back, I hate every second I spent with you. Not because of you, but because of me.
the way I acted, the way I saw the world.

I was misguided, and all I wanted was attention, and you were the only person that seemed to give it too me, and when it was lacking, I made up shit. I went on about you, lying, and all that bullshit, when i made up so much stuff. so many lies came from me.
I was just in a very wrong mindset.

At Sam's party, I...came to terms with the universe. As spiritual as that sounds, knowing that isn't the kind of thing for me to say. I dunno...it was just sort of a reminder that the world didn't revolve around me.
And I needed that.
But...

Your methods, from my perspective, were kind of skewed.

all year, I've been avoiding you, not talking to you...pretending that nothing had happened.
Staff retreat showed a brief glimpse of how I felt underneath, when the alcohol, like right now, brought out some of my true feelings.

This must seem really dis-jointed. I don't even know how I'm typing right now, I'm so out of it.

But anywayz, I'll briefly attempt to tell you how I saw things go down at Sam's, last year. Keeping in mind that I tend to remember this shit.

You invited shannon along to this party, to make Sam jealous. I'd made it known that I had liked you, and, in the past fortnight, I had made it known that I had, infact, become infactuated with you, and was trying to put a little distance between us.
If you recall, at sam's party, I was avoiding you, like the plague. an hour in, we'd only greeted ourselves, and that was is.

I'd felt that I'd grown too attached to you, as a friend with benefits, and was trying to self-sabotage it, trying to save myself from the agony. But you'd invited Shannon along. Seeing you guys together just drove a stake into my heart, and even more, I hated myself for falling for you, because I knew that you didn't see me as anything more than a friend.

And anger also grew for the fact that I, too, saw you as a friend, a friend that knew how I felt about you, and continued to do these actions in front of me, regardless. They filled me with a rage that I've never felt before.

Honestly, right now, i can't go back and read what i've said already, I'm so drunk, and If I've said this already, it just proves how drunk I am :P
and, as I think I'm saying for the second time, I still don't know how I'm typing. These emotions and perspectives are over twelve months in the making :p.

cont'd.

seeing Shannon, with one hand in your pants, and the other in Crystals, I felt like I died, right there, right then.

I am lead to believe that you invited shannon to that party because you wanted to get back at sam, and I can sort of understand that...
But...I...
I don't know, I just disagree, from my own stance.

I guess it's just all the agony I've felt since this time, One year and five days ago.

pretty sure, right now, I can't feel my face. I think I need to start getting drunk more often, haha. But, Kelly...I guess, what I think I may have been getting at is that it sucks.
It sucks that it had to go down the way it did, but as you believe, everything happens for a reason. And that makes sense.

I feel that, since then, I've...grown more, matured a lot, and realised how much of a douche I have been towards you in the past. I'm not saying that it was just me that was acting out of hand, because I do still feel hurt by what you did, but I'm accepting that the way I behaved was incredibly stupid, immature and selfish.

A year has passed since the Dooms-day event that seemed to flip my life around, and...I don't know why, or how, but I still have feelings towards you. The only difference is the feelings towards how I acted, and reacted, as I know now how I could've acted differently, for the better.

I hate myself so much for still having such bullshit feelings towards you, as I know that you will never feel the same, but, in my drunkeness, I'm just....screwing myself over.
mwa ha ha.

I'm going to hate myself something serious.

and in addition to that, recently I've been attempting to re-attain communication with you, with msn and mobile, as well as trying to organise (spontaneously) meetings, of sorts...
and half of me is just trying to prove to myself that you are not the only girl in the world, and you are not as perfect as my mind made you out to be. Somehow...

the alcohol is getting to me even more right now, haha, and I'll be 'brave' enough to say that the things I found amazing about you is that you can make people laugh by, you, yourself, laughing. and your eyes...

I think my infatuation is showing through again, so I may come back in a little while, once I've thought it through a little bit.

okay....(1 hour later) I've thought it through, and I have no idea what i've typed already, but it looks like a lot.
This is why I chose not to drink alcohol for so long.
I guess.
basically, I'll summarise my feelings for you as how you may or may not feel for Sam, as I don't know what the situation is, nowadays.
But that there will always be space in your heart for the first.

I'm seriously losing track of what i've said so far, so...I guess, I'll leave it at that, and that I hate how I feel about the whole situation, and everything attached to it.
Everybody that had been involved are nothing but a memory to me, because, after a while, I dropped everything that had lead back to you, or been involved incident.

It's like I attempted to start again, but failed. all I did was try to forget what had happened, pretend it never did, then never got started again. I've been living in Limbo.

In ways, I resent the way you acted, but it truly comes down to me resenting the way I acted, and who I was during that time.

and, as drunk as I am, I'll apologise, like the billions of times I've apologised before, and continue to believe that, somehow, you'll understand what the fuck I'm saying right now.

just over 12 months has passed, and I feel the same. And it sucks, on so many levels.
That I can feel so infactuated, and so screwed over, at the same time, that my confusion continues to present one simple answer. the same finger, and the same 'fuck. you.' that was given a while back.

all that I can summarise this entire message down to is 'I can't help but love you and hate you at the same time' kind of thing.

Sorry for the drunkenness.

Umm, why the fuck is she hooking up with a GAY GUY to blow you off?
THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

At 2/8/09 10:06 AM, AnasaziTribal wrote: Umm, why the fuck is she hooking up with a GAY GUY to blow you off?
THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

dude, I don't know (still drunk)
but at the time, i saw him more...bi, leaning on straight, then gay.
I don't know.

You lost me at the massive convos man.
Sounds like you had a pretty awful schoolies my man, for me i went up to QLD for a month lol, got put in lockup twice while was there, once for trying to get into a nightclub and the other time was for falling down drunk in front of a probie counstable, and i got my head stuffed in a headlock and thrown in the wagon.

Well since i tuned out after half the conversations you'd had with her... I've got to let you know that you are far more articulate that she appeared to be. Its so depressing how a girl who has absolutely nothing unique about them affect you so deeply because you just.. find something that keeps you drawn in on them. You seem like a really good guy cleaning up after those ungreatful girls at the apartment i extend my hand to you to be apart of the 1% club, that us gentlemen that are romantic and caring and in general just let our girls know how we feel.

I'm sure when its not so late i'll finish up my reading of your plight, friend. Kudos to your perserverance.

At 2/8/09 10:06 AM, AnasaziTribal wrote: Umm, why the fuck is she hooking up with a GAY GUY to blow you off?
THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

What really doesn't make sense is why the gay dude hooked up with a girl to blow you off. I'M SO CONFUSED!

At 2/8/09 10:36 AM, REDSPADES wrote: I'm sure when its not so late i'll finish up my reading of your plight, friend. Kudos to your perserverance.

Thankyou for you kind words. I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't read through it all :P
I know I wouldn't've been able to.

And I agree....why does it have to be the one girl. Gah. even now, I know that i'm caught up in it, still, and it frustrates me to buggery.
I hate it.
</drunk>

One of the best things I've read on here.
I suppose a lot of people can say they "relate" but only a minority can truely and emotionally relate.
A lot of people tend to go through relationship problems and blow them out of proportion and turn them into some twisted peverse tale that they're nowhere near.
But yours was, and is something I hope never to experience myself.
I'm not going to judge you for not forgetting her or writing it on here.
I will judge you for how you expressed it and how you're determined to remain vigilant and strong.
Kudos to you man, you're more adult than most on here.

At 2/8/09 10:59 AM, TheTrooper5 wrote: Kudos to you man, you're more adult than most on here.

Hey, thanks.
I believe, because I don't actually know for certain, that I wrote it up here, on Newgrounds, because I just needed to vent it out a bit. Though i could be wrong. I don't know me very well :P

At 2/8/09 11:22 AM, Orange wrote: Bravo. Also sadly a very typical story. Everyone's been through this, maybe half a dozen times if unlucky.

I guess so, but I like to think that the way I went through my demise was more unique, with the finer details.
if you look at it overall, sure. it's the same as everything else.

Wow, I have undying respect for you.

At 2/8/09 07:29 PM, Jake wrote: Wow, I have undying respect for you.

it's undeserved.

I think I read them all, and WOW thats Fucking Epic.

Really good story. Believe me, this is probably the best topic I've seen here.

At 9/7/08 08:05 AM, Rion-hunter wrote: I warn you now, I'm sort of a writer...

you weren't kidding were you?

At 2/9/09 12:52 PM, Otto wrote: You use too many elipses, you're so painful to read, I would hate you, so definately. You're lucky she was ever your friend at all.

Stop ruining the mood!!!
GAWD.

At 2/9/09 12:52 PM, MissingNYC wrote: you weren't kidding were you?

I guess not.

At 2/9/09 12:52 PM, Otto wrote: You use too many elipses, you're so painful to read, I would hate you, so definately. You're lucky she was ever your friend at all.

You seem to be the only person that had any problems with it.
Maybe the problem doesn't lie with me or my writing.

Though I might add when I'm writing properly, I don't use any ellipses.
Much.

Story was amazing dude Its almost like a show in my head
you should honestly think in writing Dramas or something idk

Holy shit I actually cried.

What an amazing story. would make a great screen play. you are a great, passionate writer my friend :)

You are not alone with such issues. there was a girl i had a serious thing for a few years ago here in college, we where good friends and then it kind of came out i had a thing for her. in the end she feels i crossed a line somewhere, yet it never got sexual so i don't know what i did. but she didn't want to talk for a month. and i basically was so hurt, i just stopped talking to her for much longer then that after it sunk in and i realized how mad i was. It stayed that way until she took the effort to start talking to me again. but still took me some time to bury the hatchet and warm over to her. we are friends again but i see her so rarely anymore it don't really have an effect on me.

ever since that girl issue i have been very set on being a bachelor, especially during the rest of my time in college. I don't really accept my emotions as real anymore and try to block them out...just tell myself there lust, me being horney lol. nice to hear in the end you found a girl who will treat you like you deserve. very much enjoyed your story, and wish you the best :)

You are very good at witting stories, sorry, I have no advice, this problem never occurred to me, I usually just got a girlfriend some how.