I feel like i'm spamming this thread replying to a bunch of others but :')) I wanted to post my own personal thing here.
disclaimer I'm not looking for advice really just want to share i think my therapist would be proud of me for talking about it ""publicly"" lmao
but anyway... .. . i just really wish people understood how hard it is to be a disabled artist sometimes. Somedays I'm sooo full of creativity and I want to do things and make things but my body hurts so bad and my brain fog and fatigue are so intense i'm not able to do anything.. or like right now i'm dealing wtih a bout of elbow tendinitis in my drawing arm and i'm def overusing it but i just don't know what else to do but draw and create things!
i'm doing my best to rest it for now and just keep up with stretches and yadda yadda, but i sometimes worry that one day I'll never be able to draw again and it locks me in this state of like.... "i'm waiting for something" like it's something folks who have adhd and anxiety often deal with like a perpetual state of waiting for something to happen or waiting until an appointment or waiting to go somewhere and then you have choice paralysis and can't do ANYTHING until the thing happens.
like i'm waiting to get better, i'm waiting to be less tired, i'm waitnig to do xyz.. and then I do nothing from a mixture of the choice paralysis and a mixture of being scared of losing my ability to draw if I end up with carpal tunnel or something worse.
I'm trying my best to stay positive lately though because I truly love and adore creating things and it means the world to me.. but with all that and the fact I haven't been able to have a job in 3 years and still can't work any time soon due to my health and what not... i can't help but feel like i'm just kind of trapped stagnating and trying to force myself to figure out a way to make money with my art before i finally get kicked out or my health dwindles so bad i need a caretaker.
I think making a career out of creating things would be a dream come true [especially because i do so many things like i even make music and write and what not. I used to sew plushies before my chronic pain got too bad and i'd like to do that again at some point but i'd have to get my designs produced elsewhere if i ever wanted to sell em haha] but it's exhausting feeling like I *have* to do that because I don't really have any other choice besides hopefully getting on ssi.
ANYWHO that was slightly heavier than i thought but thank you to anyone who read. I love art and i hope you guys do too.