I warn you now, I'm sort of a writer...
But this is a fairly...momentous story of my life so far.
My life's been rather boring... :P
But I've decided to share it with you.

There was this girl.
I'm fairly confident that she, or any of her, or my friends will be reading this, so I'll disclose her first name :P
anywayz.

There's this girl...
Named Kelly.
She was a friend of mine, and she'd been dating this guy named Sam, who's also a friend, for 15 months, before, out of the blue, he dumps her, at about this exact time last year (early september, 07)
I decide to do the good thing, and help Kelly get through it, because, she was in pieces, somewhat. She would tell me about her problems, I'd listen, give advice and help out, etc. Sometimes, I would tell her some of my stories to make hers not look so bad.
(Mother abusing brothers, kicked mother out of home, current raging divorce between parents, etc)
It wasn't so tough on me though, mainly my younger brothers.

Kelly's problems inevitably began to die down, whereas mine started to do quite the opposite. They started piling up, the shit started to hit the fan serious time in my family, and I found that Kelly was the only person I could talk too.
Two months, it worked like this, and she rapidly became one of my best friends, but then...I sorta started to form feelings for her.

(*plays dramatic music*)
I, being the person that I am, made it fairly known. I spoke to her about it, and at that point, she said that she wouldn't want to 'riskt he friendship'.
At this point, I was like...her fifth, maybe six best friend (myspace list wise :P)
Whereas she was my first, dramatically.

So we both finished school last year, and, here in Queensland, Australia, we have this thing called schoolies...I'm not sure how...international it is, so I'll briefly explain it.
All the people that finish school go to the coast and just party for a full, hard week, in short.

Anyways, Kelly went to this coast that's just north of the main...party beach, whereas I had to work for the family business :|
I was invited, for a night, to go to the apartment Kelly was staying at.

Now, if I hadn't been working at a family business, i could have just called in sick the following day, but being so, my father decided to make me decide between Schoolies and work.

Let's just say I didn't choose work :P

So I blew off my family, and my job, in one hit, to spend one night at this apartment. I arrived there fairly late, after an hour and a half of driving, at about 10.
and I find myself in this apartment filled with smashed girls, all 17(ish), (Kelly and her friends), and all of them trying to hook up with these atrocious looking guys from this other apartment.
At this point in time, i wasn't much of a drinker, and sort of instantly became the guardian angel, somewhat, to 10 or so girls.
I was cleaning up vomit, spilt drinks, and preventing the girls from doing something, or someone, they would definitely regret in the morning.

As things died down, we were finding our places to sleep, etc etc. To cut that short, i hooked up with her.
From then on, we'd be what you'd call, 'friends with benefits'.

For some reason, the rest of my week had cleared up, what with work not being an issue or anything any more, and the girls of the apartment invited me to stay another night, since I'd looked after them so well the previous night.
I was more than happy to accept that invitation.

Later in the day, another one of Kelly's friends shows up. This guy called Jye.
Who's...not straight...
I don't think he was full gay though.

Anyways, Kelly and Jye had hooked up in the past, and when she blew me off completely to go with Jye down to the beach (at...like, 9pm...), I was feeling kind of cut.

Now, I'll quickly establish with you faithful readers that when I get tired, like...excessively, I lose control of my imagination.
To make you understand that comment, I'll explain;
when I was 2, I had two diseases.
Kawasaki Disease and Meningitis and, for some reason or other, the only way I was scarred was mentally.
when, before, I'd been a bright, happy child, I was depressed. All the time.
This remained until i was about 15...
where...I suddenly flicked to optimistic, bright, happy. If anything, I'd implemented my imagination upon reality.

I.E. I started imagining everything was alright.

so, back to the story; I was tired. I lost my eagerness to uphold my optimism. I became depressed. Very quickly, very severely.

After two hours of sitting in the hallway at the apartment, I decided to grab my bags, and leave.
Now, being very tired, and very late already, I wasn't prepared to drive the hour and a half home, so I slept in my car, waiting 'til morning, then grabbing a spare key, from a reception, to my grandparents gettaway unit thing, and sleeping a crazy 19 hours in one day.

This is...Only the beginning, but I want to see if people are actually...reading this, so I'll continue if I get some feedback.

^.^
Rion

so you're attempt at forming a stable relationship failed and you went on NG to tell everybody , wow you don't see this very often

At 9/7/08 08:12 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote: so you're attempt at forming a stable relationship failed and you went on NG to tell everybody , wow you don't see this very often

It's more than that, he's having problems at home as well. However, I really wouldn't seek advice on Newgrounds, people aren't going to be terribly helpful :(

Wow.... I guess i want to here more :P

At 9/7/08 08:12 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote: so you're attempt at forming a stable relationship failed and you went on NG to tell everybody , wow you don't see this very often

Mwa ha ha.
not quite :P
It's a story that I've told before, and supposedly it's quite an interesting story...
But, I guess I didn't want to tell it to you in one hit.
let's just say...it never got to the 'relationship' status...
technically.
but shit, it was a good lesson to me.

These family problems you speak of, are they true or were you just telling a white lie?

At 9/7/08 08:20 AM, Magnester wrote: These family problems you speak of, are they true or were you just telling a white lie?

Oh no, it's true.
And they're still divorcing. It's taking for-fucking-ever.
And I don't swear that much, to prove my point :P

:I really wouldn't seek advice on Newgrounds, people aren't going to be terribly helpful :(

I'm not seeking advice, s'cool.
this WAS the end of last year. Whatever advice I needed, the chance is long gone :P

:i would like to see the sequel to this story please.
Working on it right now.

sorry for the noob post just then, with the colons, :P It was my first attempt.

Anyways, I have the next part all typed up.

So I slept and lazed about my grandparents unit for three days, washing my clothes and spending what little money I had on food (crunchy nut and pizza), and watching, as my battery life on my much required mobile phone drop perilously low.

So, I swallowed my pride (nothing suss) and contacted one of the girls at the apartment, asking if I could just swing by and borrow one of their chargers. I had only been planning on staying up for one night, so I hadn't brought mine. The allowed me too, so I drove over and arrived at their doorstep. All of the girls were happy to see me again, asking, worried, what had happened the other night, but Kelly was avoiding me like the plague.

During that day, another girl arrived, named Amanda. I'm only mentioning her now because she makes a reappearance later :P This was a girl that was a year older than the rest of us, but done a lot less then all of us. That night, we got her drunk, for the first time ever, and before I knew it, I was babysitting again.

None of the girls would let me leave, after it had gotten too late, so I ended up staying another night. I slept in some cold corner, alone that night, feeling the fumes of anger irradiating from a certain Kelly, who I had hardly exchanged words with all day.

The following day, I parted ways with the girls once more, and, going via the grandparent's unit, grabbing my stuff, I made my way home.

For a while, Kelly and I didn't speak. A few weeks passed, and I picked up another job at the family business (a bookstore, doing back-to-school time, busy as.), because I decided to help my father out. It had been too busy, and they hadn't had enough staff.

I mainly picked up the job so I could afford Christmas(which was rapidly approaching) presents. Kelly and I had begun to pick up the pieces, and she lived five minutes away from where I worked, so lunch times were well spent.

Wink. wink.
Nudge. Nudge.

I decided that I needed to get this girl something special as a present for her. So, in trying to get enough money, I went without lunch for three days, starving, just so I could afford this...I dunno, 18kt, white gold necklace with Swarovski crystals or something...:P
And a giant...'beanie buddy' teddy bear.
Which, of course, was a heap of money.

She came over...three days before Christmas, and we spent the night strolling through Christmas lights, etc.
And I gave her the presents.
Nicest thing of all was...
She had nothing for me.

I know that's rather selfish of me, to say such things, but I guess, as people always say. 'It's the thought that counts'.

New years eve arrived all too quickly, and Kelly had invited me to a party at one of the girls (from schoolies) house. I was up for anything, because, otherwise, I would have spent the night at home, on Newgrounds, probably :P.

So, I went to this party, and Kelly got smashed as. Actually, that night was the first night I ever had alcohol. One drink. Tasted like crap :P

Anyways, I, naturally, babysat Kelly. When she gets drunk, she likes to fall onto the ground, because she can't feel it....
Makes me laugh.
But I was going around all night, catching her, as she collapses...

It was obvious, to anybody and everybody, that I liked Kelly, still, more than a friend (of a friend with benefits :P).

Two weeks later, it was Amanda's 19th birthday partay. Kelly starts hooking up with this guy right in front of me, knowing full well about how I felt. I, feeling rather at a loss, and started aimlessly wandering around the place, trying to mingle, and what not. But that's always hard when you're sober, and everybody else is drunk.

Amanda and her brother start this bombfire in the corner of the yard. Kelly and this guy go down just beside it, where it's too dark to see, and they spend ages there.

It's at this point in time that I realise, "Whoa shit, I've become attached."
Which I never meant to do.
Until that very instant in time, I thought I was a heartless bastard.

After a while, the guy gets up and leaves, but Kelly stays behind. I take this opportunity, gather ALL of my pride, and make my way over to her. I sit down, and I start small talk. I guess, looking back, I figure, with her knowing and all, that the small talk would've been really awkward for her, but I held up my game, and when the moment was right, I just brought it out.

I said something along the lines of, "Seeing you two making out 'n' stuff, well, I guess you could say it hurt me, and I guess...that I've...fucked things up now."

Now, Should I continue? Or are you bored? :P

Wow I like this story,probably because similar to what happens to alot of other guys.

At 9/7/08 09:11 AM, hawkshade wrote: Wow I like this story,probably because similar to what happens to alot of other guys.

Myeahhhh.
I guess I just took what happens after this rather badly, compared to most guys then.
Plus, also considering that I didn't have any friends from my school, (they...were all dicks), I wasn't going to uni yet, my job re-ended with the new year.
So my only source of friendship was Kelly.

At 9/7/08 08:53 AM, Rion-hunter wrote: Now, Should I continue? Or are you bored? :P

Please, do continue, my good man.

Keep writing, this is really good.

This sounds so typical...please keep going

Thanks for all the comments, guys, there's still hope that there's some people out there that aren't too lazy to read MASSIVE WALLS OF TEXT :P

Anyways, I try to keep the posts brief, but this one's just a little bit longer, because I was using other sources of information as well.
Good luck;

That situation degraded, I was possibly a bit tired, in to me ranting on about my slowly degrading life, etc. (I'm not too proud of that particular conversation)

After a few tears, from the both of us, she leads me to my bed, and makes me go to sleep, sort of guessing the 'tired' thing, and I was more than happy to comply. I slept soundly that night, but when I woke up the next morning, I couldn't find my mobile phone. So I got up, and was searching around the places I had been the previous night, and I found them. Kelly, and the guy, in bed, together.

Now I was truly angry with myself, because I felt SO ridiculously hurt. I had no idea I'd become so attached, so affectionate, until it was too late. I left the party without another word, fortunately finding my phone in my car (*rolls eyes*). I had to work early that day, delivering books for the family business. And I just couldn't...take my mind off things. That night, we were planning on meeting up with a friend, Crystal, for her birthday party. Just going to a café, etc. This is the text convo that happened that day.

From Kelly: Do u want me to come tonight?

From Rion:I guess I was right about regretting what I said...
I hate it when I'm right, grrr
I'm...just upset at how much trouble I have put on you.
Though I'm grateful, it'd be way better for you, I think, if I drastically reduce communication with you...
I think I would've gotten by without your help, but you made it a lot easier...
I'm sorry for continuously giving you this, but I thank you for listening...
Just got...Ur text, and yes...
I do

From Kelly: It's okay, what r friends for.. ive heard a lot of it from u anyway. I was considering going with yous 2nite, rather than fam cos they're goin 4eva away n I needa sleep early 2nite... Are you picking crystal up?

From Rion: Crystal's family have decided to go to the café as well, so I assume they're taking her...
And it doesn't make me feel better when you say you hear a lot of it from me...

From Kelly: Dw bout it...like I said, wat are friends for..

From Rion: Baha, nothing that bad...
So'd you have fun sleeping ;-)

From Kelly: Uh, when I actually slept it was good. But dirt, hotness, jeans, music and sun are generally not a good mixture for trying to sleep.

From Rion: funny thing is, I think, you know what I'm talking about...
Though I'm afraid of being wrong...

From Kelly: I'm afraid, I'm probably confused. But hey, when aren't I. Oh, 'sleeping'. Yeah, I actually didn't sleep much for those reasons.

From Rion: Yes...
*shifty eyes*
Baha, and who you slept with
:P

From Kelly: Oh he did sleep. That's what over abundant amounts of alcohol do to you.. Haha.

That made me feel brilliant.

Anyways, that night, we met up at the café, as planned, before we ended up going back to Kelly's and watching some movie. Halfway through, Crystal had to leave, and it was just me and her.
She was still really tired from last night (three guesses what kept her up) and she's fallen asleep on the couch.

I was having this raging battle of emotions, right then and there. I wanted to be with her, but at the same time, I wanted to get as far away from her as possible.

The movie ended, she roused, started getting ready for bed, and I left...

The following 24 hours were...fairly hard for me.
I thought. Long and hard, about everything.

Here was Kelly, the best friend I ever had, and I knew I'd already screwed that friendship.

I spent ALL of the following day on the computer. Practically Sulking.

I posted the following bulletin on myspace;

Life...is, as always, a drama.
I haven't heard from my mother for a little while, which either means that...
things are finally clearing up, orrr, it's just the calm before the storm...

In replacement of mother issues, there's father issues. woo.
He can't cope.

It's "Back-to-School" time for the bookstore, so he's working hard out, from seven in the morning to eleven at night, and, due to past issues with mother, us four boys aren't ones for...helping around the home as much as we should.
We try, but we don't have much of an apathy for it...

So the place isn't being properly cared for, or so say my grandparents...

The divorce is...rapidly forming from into a reality.
*rolls-eyes*

which means that we might have to sell the home...

The one my father built twelve years ago. The house I've lived in my entire life.

I love this place, and I don't want to ever leave it. If I had the money, I would buy it....
but I don't...
gwarf...

then there's the other life I lead.

My social life...

It isn't much at the moment...

Though there wasn't a night on the past weekend that I wasn't out and about or had friends over, I don't feel it's much.

I went to a party on Saturday night...
and I unleashed the built up emotions from deep within me in a dark corner in the yard...
...
...
...
Talking to Kelly...

Grawr, sometimes it's no wonder why I don't have any close friends, except maybe her, because I find that I have the tendency to push them away.

I trust people when I shouldn't, and don't when I should...

...expects me to believe that they did nothing but sleep...?
in the dark shed...?
away from everybody else...?
I dunno, maybe it is asking for a lack of trust...or faith.

Continue.

At 9/7/08 09:30 AM, Dry-Ice wrote: Keep writing, this is really good.

Seconded.

I can relate with trying to hook up with friends. Good story so far imo.

That day, I also posted a blog.

The people in my life:

...

Kelly - *sighs* If I said everything I wanted to in this blog, it would go on for pages. I, as always, thankyou for being there for me. You are the only person that knows me, the only person that helps me...you are the only person I can lean on...the only person i can talk to.
You've pulled me through the darkest times...though I've often been angry at you at those times, for the stupidest of reasons, you've still pulled me through...And...I still push you away...
I guess...I don't like being dependent on people, like the way I depend on you...especially when they have other friends to lean on as well...when all i have is you...
YOU are the bright, shining star in the dark, stormy night that is my life. You're my guidance, you're my life force, and you're my friend. Thankyou.

...

During the day, I, too, posted some poem as bulletin post, but it was more of a rant in poem form. I'm just informing you because it's mentioned in the following conversation...
Sorry for all this...not interesting stuff, but it's a part of the story.
(Note: This conversation has been drastically edited so it's not so FREAKIN' huge.)
And sorry for the time stamps, I couldn't get rid of them, without hours of work :P

(6:45 PM) Rion: hello
(6:47 PM) Kelly: Heyy
(6:48 PM) Rion: How was work?
(6:48 PM) Kelly: yeeeeeeeahhh, it was okay. slightly boring. how was your day?
(6:49 PM) Rion: yeeeeeeeahhh, it was okay. slightly boring.
(6:52 PM) Kelly: hehe
(6:58 PM) Rion: so what did you get up to?
(6:58 PM) Kelly: todayy?
(6:59 PM) Rion: ...yeah...
(7:00 PM) Kelly: ohhh umn. data entry, inviocing, mail outs and photocopyin. exciting stuffff.
hows about you?
(7:01 PM) Rion: nothing really...
I wrote a poem...
ah...
(7:01 PM) Rion: woke up...(before the poem)
that was a big event for me
and I should really do some excersise grrr
(7:02 PM) Kelly: grrr, talk about a need for exerciseee..
(7:02 PM) Kelly: yeah, did you happen to post that poem on myspace?
(7:02 PM) Rion: why yes
(7:03 PM) Kelly: nice...
(7:30 PM) Rion: so...yeah...the poem...
kinda sums a lot of stuff up, ey?
(7:32 PM) Kelly: yeaah, you said a fair bit of it the other night I think though too.
(7:32 PM) Rion: yeahh
(7:34 PM) Kelly: hmmn....
(7:34 PM) Rion: did you read the other bulletin I posted...?
(7:35 PM) Kelly: hmn.
Oh yess.. I did
and your blog.
andd yeah
(7:35 PM) Rion: yeahh, i've been at home all day
bored...
(7:36 PM) Kelly: hmmn..
(7:36 PM) Rion: lol..should've gone to gym
(7:36 PM) Kelly: thinking too much?
(7:36 PM) Rion: yes
(7:36 PM) Kelly: hmmnnn.
(7:36 PM) Rion: probably far to much...
(7:36 PM) Rion: Like...about...cutting down communication with you...
and for good reasons...i suppose i wasn't over reacting today...looking back...
(7:37 PM) Rion: do you have anything to say
(7:37 PM) Kelly: Hmmnn..
nope. like usual
(7:37 PM) Rion: about the comment at the end of the bulletin post?
like...
the rant thing...
one
(7:44 PM) Kelly: Oh yeah, I knew you wouldnt trust me.
(7:44 PM) Rion: is it for good reasons?
that's what I want to know...
(7:45 PM) Kelly: Whats that supposed to mean.
Yeah you probably shouldnt trust me.
(7:45 PM) Rion: you did stuff
i knew it
*sighs*
(7:45 PM) Kelly: because im a horrible person.
(7:45 PM) Rion: I suppose
that'll help
(7:46 PM) Kelly: and probably a liarr.
and god knows what else.
(7:46 PM) Rion: unfortunately for you, i'm not too happy, so I'm not going to be saying you're a good person right now...
but...thinking back
i've never lied to you
ever
i've never done you any wrong
whatsoever
(7:47 PM) Rion: except kick your toe
and hit your head with my elbow...
all accidental
unfortunately for you
(7:47 PM) Rion: yours aren't accidental
but, see
you've got the right idea
(7:48 PM) Rion: nice people do always finish last, so i can see you're trying very hard not to be nice.
(7:48 PM) Rion: Thankyou for listening to my problems...
but, I think it's long overdue that we stopped being friends.
you're over Sam
(7:48 PM) Rion: you don't have any more problems
(7:49 PM) Rion: I've never had someone who's listened to them, so thankyou for doing that, but I'd always gotten by before, as well...
(7:50 PM) Rion: YOu don't need a shoulder to cry on anymore
(7:50 PM) Kelly: Oh great.
(7:50 PM) Rion: You have no more reasons
(7:50 PM) Rion: My emotions...have...barely ever been important to anybody, and i've barely ever let them breathe
including myself...
(7:51 PM) Rion: I think...i can get by without friends...
grr
totally contradicting what i said the other night, but it's better for you
in the long run
(7:51 PM) Kelly: No one can get by without friends
(7:51 PM) Rion: if I stopped talking to you about the same crap
yeah, well...
okay...
there's the perfect oppurtunity for harsh comments
(7:52 PM) Rion: Thankyou for being the shoulder I can cry on, thankyou for listening to my problems
but, you hurt a lot more than you help...
(7:53 PM) Kelly: oh great. thats something to be proud of.
(7:53 PM) Rion: I'm not saying it is
or should be
or ever will be.
(7:54 PM) Kelly: I wonder how all my other friends get by if Im such a hurtfull friend.
(7:54 PM) Rion: they didn't/don't like you the way I did
/do
(7:57 PM) Rion: and...you know, after all of this...
everything you knew...
(7:58 PM) Rion: about they way I felt
you...
grrr
i guess you're free to live your own life
make your own decisions
(7:58 PM) Rion: and I'll let you make those decisions on your own...
Goodbye Kelly.

At 9/7/08 10:07 AM, shackles1 wrote:

At 9/7/08 10:02 AM, Rion-hunter wrote:

Goodbye Kelly.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! IT BETTER NOT END THERE OR I AM GONNA EXPLODE! OMFG, THAT'S A REALLY BAD WAY TO END A RELATIONSHIP! C'MON! TELL ME THERE IS A FOURTH PART! OMG TELL ME THERE'S A FOURTH PART!

*counts up the parts*
well, look at that, there's been four already :P
I meant to add, to the end of that, that I blocked her off msn.

Unfortunately, we both had myspace IM, so...after a while, like, an hour or so, conversation sparked over that, only briefly.
And those who have myspace IM would know, the sound it makes with each message is ridiculously painful, so I unblocked her.
The conversation continued....
In the next installment :P
which will be in five minutes.

At 9/7/08 10:10 AM, Rion-hunter wrote:

Thank you for writing all of that..it must have been hell on the fingers.
I want to know what happens though :)

This would have to be one of the longest, single pages in a thread :P

Anyways, the conversation continued. I hope you're keeping up...

(8:53 PM) Kelly: Yeah, what. So you wanna talk to me now.
(8:54 PM) Rion: maybe just to possibly explain my actions...
Baha, what, does it hurt?
(8:54 PM) Rion: Maybe soon you'll realise that actions you make can have consequences
i'm at a very unstable point in my life...
(8:56 PM) Kelly: Oh, I would'nt have guessed.
(8:56 PM) Rion: huh...
(8:56 PM) Kelly: Sarcasm
(8:56 PM) Rion: I can see we're both being bitchy now
(8:57 PM) Rion: It's good to see you're upset with me...it could mean you actually had some form of emotional attachment...
I couldn't tell
(8:57 PM) Kelly: What, and you think I didn't.
As if.
(8:58 PM) Rion: well, sorry
if you didn't consider my emotions that much though...
I walked right up to you guys on sunday mornign
(8:58 PM) Rion: sleeping next to eachother...
you saw me see you
you knew how i felt
(8:58 PM) Rion: it hurt, one HELL of a lot...
but i figured you're free to do that kind of stuff
it's your life...
(8:59 PM) Rion: but there was no consideration for how I felt in any part of the equation
so i figured...
Hey, she mustn't care about me at all, really...
(9:00 PM) Rion: AM I SO WRONG?
(9:01 PM) Kelly: So very wrong.
(9:02 PM) Rion: how far did you go with Corey
?
(9:02 PM) Kelly: Does it really matter?
(9:03 PM) Rion: it did.
(9:03 PM) Kelly: Did.
(9:03 PM) Rion: Yes, but see...
(9:03 PM) Rion: If i stop talking to you...
it won't
(9:03 PM) Rion: You know about how I felt
and you slept with him...
(9:04 PM) Rion: and this is hurting me more than anything, but now...it's...
I've hurt you enough, this instant...
i feel
to go back to being the way we were...
in just a few minutes
(9:05 PM) Rion: so much can change...
*sighs*
(9:05 PM) Rion: thankyou for being the best thing that happened to me, and I'm sorry i liked you in that way...
(9:06 PM) Rion: Thankyou for being my life force, and I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time
(9:06 PM) Rion: Thankyou for pulling me through the darkest hours of my life, I'm sorry you were some of them
(9:06 PM) Kelly: You hurt me too, that night.. and I was annoyeed. But at the same time. I still cared for you so much. But in the end, I was just trying to have a good night.
(9:06 PM) Rion: I hurt you with the truth
you hurt me with lies
(9:06 PM) Kelly: Exactly.
(9:07 PM) Kelly: Because there's times where sometimes, the truth doesn't need to be told.
(9:09 PM) Rion: you may have noticed...but I'm not one for lying...
I'm not one for hiding in the dark
(9:09 PM) Rion: about anything...
(9:10 PM) Kelly: Yeah I noticed, and Im one for keeping things inside me. Because I know how much the truth can hurt.
(9:10 PM) Rion: I wish...for once...i had the truth...
maybe...you'd like lies for once
we could do a role reversal for a little while...
(9:10 PM) Kelly: Maybe
(9:11 PM) Rion: *sighs*
The worst thing, i think...i've ever done, In my ENTIRE LIFE...is like you...
and i'm still telling the truth, here...
(9:11 PM) Rion: it wasn't...failing school
(9:12 PM) Rion: it wasn't being a huge factor in destroying my mother's life
it was liking you
because, really...
that's been the hardest thing on me...
(9:13 PM) Rion: and that causes me to treat you worse
I'm...not doing this....for me
as such...
I don't know...why you would need me in your life...
(9:13 PM) Rion: all I ever do is...shovel endless problems onto you
(9:14 PM) Kelly: And, it's not like I've never explained why before.
(9:14 PM) Rion: huh, 'friends'...
(9:15 PM) Kelly: What?
(9:15 PM) Rion: I...don't know...
i...always...thought...that friends...would consider each others feelings...
*shrugs*
(9:16 PM) Rion: I hope you had a good time the other night...
a reaaalll good time
you know, i...regret so much in my life...
(9:16 PM) Rion: and I really regret going and looking for my phone
seeing you
in bed with Corey
not that it's any of my business
it's your life
grr
(9:17 PM) Rion: i'm having a debate in my head right now...
about which action is more justified...
(9:17 PM) Rion: but...you knew, far too well...about how I felt...
...
you took me to bed...
after discussing that I liked you and that i was jealous of Corey
(9:18 PM) Rion: and...as far as i can see
that was just to get rid of me, to go and have a good time
(9:18 PM) Rion: because 'rion' and 'good time' don't work in the same sentence
i know that...hells bells, everybody would've had a far better night if i had stayed home and played on the computer to my heart's content
(9:19 PM) Rion: I...unfortunately suffer from a disillusioned mentality...
and for some reason...
I had hoped...
for one word to escape your lips...
since saturday night
(9:20 PM) Rion: /sunday morning
and that was 'sorry'...i don't know why...but...for some reason, in my mind, everything would be okay again...
(9:20 PM) Rion: Maybe this would all be easier...
for both of us...
if you hated my guts...h
hmmm
(9:21 PM) Kelly: well, its would seem I dont hate your guts, so we'll just have to live with that.
(9:21 PM) Rion: ...
not much has said that recently, though...
(9:23 PM) Rion: I have never cared for a person more than i have cared for you
(9:24 PM) Rion: *laughs*
(9:24 PM) Kelly: and you obviously think I dont appreciate that.
(9:24 PM) Rion: How do you expect me to know?
am i supposed to be telepathic?
(9:25 PM) Kelly: well, im sorry for not telling you everyday.
(9:26 PM) Rion: I think...you only told me...maybe..once...if that...
(9:26 PM) Kelly: Obviously not enough.
(9:27 PM) Rion: Thinking about it, i can't really recall you saying that you appreciate me caring for you
(9:29 PM) Kelly: No, but I did say i was thankful for having you as my only friend who actually ever listened to me. That's not appreciation?
(9:29 PM) Rion: I didn't just listen...
(9:30 PM) Rion: Listen...okay...
(9:31 PM) Rion: I'm sorry we're having this conversation tonight...maybe i was slightly annoyed at the blatent disregard for my emotions,
I'm sorry I had those emotions...i think it's been stated a few billion times...but I can't help these things...they just happen some times...
I'm Sorry I apologise so much...If i recall, at schoolies, they were going off at me for how often i said 'sorry'
(9:34 PM) Kelly: Okay, and I'm sorry for making it look like I dont give a fuck, and for hurting you more than actually being anything close to a decent friend.
(9:34 PM) Rion: and yet you're the best one I've ever had...
(9:36 PM) Kelly: and you're the only one who ever listens.
(9:36 PM) Rion: but not anything close to your best friend...
(9:37 PM) Rion: because your best friend doesn't...?
(9:37 PM) Kelly: doesnt listen?
(9:37 PM) Rion: ...you just said it...
i'm the only one...that listens...
but I'm not your best friend...
so...your best friend doesn't listen...?
(9:38 PM) Kelly: no, they listen.. but they dont listen thouroughly. at least you make it sound like you care about what im saying
(9:39 PM) Rion: Baha...I don't make it sound like... I do care...
(9:39 PM) Kelly: Stop rejecting everything I say.
(9:39 PM) Rion: stop Not rejecting everything I say...
I say the harshest things...
yet...
(9:40 PM) Rion: they just...wash over...
(9:40 PM) Kelly: i just listen.. or cry. or something
Im not gutsy like you.
(9:40 PM) Rion: Baha
If I were as gutsy as you probably think...
(9:41 PM) Rion: I...probably would have more than one friend...
(9:41 PM) Rion: sometimes...i have guts, it's true
only sometimes...
like tonight...
blocking you...
(9:41 PM) Kelly: Yeah.. for like, an hour,
(9:41 PM) Rion: that...click of the button was the hardest thing i've ever done
(9:41 PM) Kelly: But still talking to me.
(9:41 PM) Rion: well... i only wanted to explain my actions...
(9:42 PM) Rion: I don't like being seen as a total Dick...
(9:42 PM) Kelly: Hmmn
Well, im gonna go to bed.
(9:42 PM) Rion: fine
goodnight
(9:42 PM) Kelly: What were you saying?
(9:43 PM) Rion: I was saying that you shouldn't tempt me to block you for much more than an hour...
I'm...still a little hurt at the moment...
(9:43 PM) Kelly: Im Sorry.

The conversation continues to continue, I've just run out of characters.

Awesome.

You are definitely a lot better with words then me. I ended up cursing my former friend out and telling her to stay the fluck outta my life when we couldn't see eye to eye on things like this, and she did bad things behind my back like Kelly did to you.

You have a lot more self-control then I do, because I definitely told her to go die at least a dozen times, and she's attempted suicide before...

More, more, more!

At 9/7/08 10:28 AM, NapoleanD wrote:

Awesome.

You are definitely a lot better with words then me. I ended up cursing my former friend out and telling her to stay the fluck outta my life when we couldn't see eye to eye on things like this, and she did bad things behind my back like Kelly did to you.

You have a lot more self-control then I do, because I definitely told her to go die at least a dozen times, and she's attempted suicide before...

More, more, more!

:D okay!!!

(9:43 PM) Rion:
and, as always...so am I...
I wish i wasn't so...retarded...
just...
(9:44 PM) Rion: my mentality
how I think
how i see friends...
I've never had a friend...
that's what i was thinking this mornign
(9:44 PM) Rion: I have one question, before you go
(9:44 PM) Kelly: whats that
(9:45 PM) Rion: in myspace bulletins
when they ask you 'is there anybody that you like'...
and you answer 'maybe'
what the hell do you mean?
(9:46 PM) Kelly: It means, maybe i do like someone. Maybe I dont. But im not one for falling too quickly. And I havent known what its like to like someone in ages. So I dont know what it feels like.
(9:46 PM) Rion: and that was the question...
(9:47 PM) Kelly: Okay.
I need to go to bed.
night night
(9:47 PM) Rion: okay
goodnight

Now, a brief update on my life around this.
I'd been hired for a new job, but was yet to start.
It was at where Kelly worked.
:/

My mother had been going mental, accusing my father of having relationships with a girl three months younger than myself (and, incidentally, my ex.).
My three younger brother were feeling the grunt of the issues between them, and I was feeling emotionally detached from the world in all ways except Kelly.

After the conversation ended, I, too, went to bed. Hoping to wake up a new person, somewhat. But, I didn't.
Unfortunately, in this stage of our 'relationship', most of our conversations were text based, because we weren't...really catching up, face to face anymore. I don't know why.

The morning, when I woke up, I crawled out of my bed, turned on my computer, and wrote a message to Kelly, and sent it over myspace. Reading it nowadays, I can see some of my mistakes, yes. But I'm just copying this, word for word.

I think you once said that...you wouldn't want to go out with me because you'd hate to ruin our friendship...

I thought, in the morning...when I woke up, I would have more rational thoughts...But the more I think about it, the more I realise...that I haven't been wrong...much...

There's so many things I want to say...but...
I...don't like saying these things through text...
Never have...
MSN...all those times...
*shakes head*

I realised why I did say some of the things I said last night, and on saturday night...
I didn't even...notice...but somewhere, on a subconscious level, i guess I just wanted to hurt you like you hurt me...
I'm sorry...If I'd realised that was the reason, i wouldn't have done anything.
I'm not one for taking action...often.

Yes, Sometimes, you can be a liar...
Yes, sometimes you can be a slut...
Sometimes you could be the cruelest person I know, without realising...
But most of the time...You were the best friend I've ever had...

And all of this isn't your fault...it is equally mine, I guess...
I haven't exactly been the perfect friend either...
I could be irrational
I could be annoying
I could be depressed...

You said I hurt you the other night...
thinking back over it...
the conversation...
over and over...
I can't work out where I could've hurt you...
all I did was cry over how bad my life is...
when really...
it isn't so bad...
There's not much good about it...
but it isn't so bad....

...
And I apologise...once again...for infringing on your personal life...
You can do whatever you want.
Some deep chasm inside me hopes you went the full way with Corey
Obviously, this isn't how i usually think...
but it hopes that he didn't use protection...
and it hopes that you get pregnant
because that would be a good laugh.

What I just realised, though...is that...I'm the one always apologising...
But what have I done that's so wrong?

In the next episode :P
Kelly's Reply.

Who wants to tell NG its full of Scum and Geeks only decent things are Audio Portal and Flash Portal BBS
Bitch Banging Scum :D

i ignored it all and made my own version...

"There Was This Girl... That Got Naked" the end

No TL;DR option?

At 9/7/08 10:35 AM, AlxEllis wrote: Who wants to tell NG its full of Scum and Geeks only decent things are Audio Portal and Flash Portal BBS
Bitch Banging Scum :D

Because, I'm not digging for sympathy. I'm a writer, and it's a good story.
Why wouldn't I want to share it? :P

At 9/7/08 10:45 AM, ParadoxSaint wrote: First you take an apple and place it in the blender like so, next you press the button and ta-da, you have blended apples.

wiser words could not be said.

At 9/7/08 10:43 AM, shackles1 wrote: At 9/7/08 10:30 AM, Rion-hunter wrote:: In the next episode :P: Kelly's Reply. o i can't wait this is too interesting! hurries!

Give me fiiiive minutes :P

Date:
22 Jan 2008, 06:45 PM
Subject:
RE: No Subject
Body:
Like usual, I wouldn't seem to have alot of things to say right about now.. but you probably want me to for once, so i'll give it a shot.

First statement = correct. Yes, dating you're friends never turns out right, you know each other too well, there's no where new to move, no new friends to meet, and already in a routine of friendship. I've done it myself, and I've seen it happen before. Well.. that's my opinion anyway.

I have so many things to say also, but like the other night.. I have no courage whatsoever to let it all out. So I just listen. I cried because I was filled with frustration from hearing everything.. part of which you've told me time and time again, and because you considered calling me a slut. How could you say such a thing when you have no idea what I do. It's a pretty harsh word and generally means you have a new sex partner just as many times as you change your underwear. I also cried because you did, because I hate seeing my friends hurt, and because, there wasn't too much I thought I could ever do to help you, other then being your shoulder to cry as, as friends do. And to listen. That's why I was hurt.

And no, I didn't take you to bed just so I could run off with Corey. It was my intention to go hang out with Liz, but she was so gone, and having enough fun with the people she was with. She hugged me because I had been crying, then I took a seat by myself.

I'm sorry things aren't going right in your life, and your family's. And you're right when you say, you are probably worse off then many people. But everyone has problems, and its not nice being shown down by someone overpowering them with competition.

In the end, you are a great friend, and i've told you many times. Even though it's not directly, more then likely a little discreet. But you know it, so don't say I never appreciate you. Or barely show it.

And sorry for not saying sorry anytime near as much as you do. I suppose like you said, I just don't realise where i've been cruel. Because, maybe it's not cruel to me. Maybe it's the way I've been treated before, so I'm used to it. Who know's.. maybe I just don't know the definition of cruel. So you're right, I don't realise how cruel I am. Untill you come and tell me my every little flaw.

Oh yeah, by the way.. We were soo wasted that we had unprotected sex in front of everyone, and I'm probably going to be carrying round a baby in about 9 months. Yeah right, I'm not that stupid. But it was a good laugh

This is about...Tuesday, of the week after Amanda's 18th.
By Saturday, we seemed to have...somewhat, re-healed things.
On Saturday, we were back to our benefits, even.
Which...is incredibly bizarre, in my books, considering what had happened...

So for the NEXT week, I was in a state of confusion for where to stand on the whole situation.
That Saturday Night was Sam's Party.
If you recall from the first installment, Sam was the ex of Kelly's.
They were still friends, but it was kind of clear that Kelly still had emotions for him, which is possibly what made it so stuffed about for me.

At this party, there was this guy there called 'Shannon'. Now, Kelly and I were both 17 at this stage. Shannon was 26. For Kelly to start hooking up with this guy was like...driving a knife straight into me.

I was dumbfounded.
Absolutely lost for words.
Let me draw the picture for you; Shannon's not exactly the nicest thing to look at, he's slightly funny, but most of the time, it's on your behalf, (i.e., he's a dick) he was homeless, bumming rides off friends and everything...

I made a mental connection, and, I went to tell Kelly, but couldn't find her, so I texted her.

'hey, i've worked it out, you're only a slut, when you're drunk!

For some reason, Kelly was angry with me after then.
Shannon caught wind of what had happened, and sat me down and had a chat with me.

He'd worked it out fairly quickly. What had been happening, 'n' all.
He spoke to me about how he was sorry, and how he didn't know about it...
He tried to encourage me to drink.
I, as always, declined.
I could hardly control my emotions when I was sober.

So me and him seemed to be off fairly cool with each other. We had an understanding.

At one point, we were all in sam's bedroom, just lying on the floor and the bed, and then somebody decided that we should all go in the pool, so we were all rushing out. I noticed that Kelly and Shannon hung back. Dread filled me instantly. I made my way back into the bedroom, and saw them making out.

I just mumbled something about having misplaced my phone, pretended to find it under a pillow, and left.

I just...My heart felt like it exploded. I was engulfed by this anger.
I went outside, into the darkness and sat down...
And thought....
And waited.
And thought some more.

I've never felt angrier, in my entire life, then that hour.

Maybe it wasn't anger of being outdone by some 26 year old, but because I was angry at Kelly for...being so stupid.
She was still my friend, even after everything that happened, and...gah, I still feel angry, over 7 months later, as I write this.

She was so stupid.

I took a deep breath, rose from where I was sitting, and started gathering my stuff.

I was going to do the same as always.
Run away, like the coward I had become.
I would tell her how I felt over msn, or something.
Too afraid to say it to her face....

Fuck. That.

I put my stuff down, and make my way inside.

In the living room, all the people of the party had gathered, (about ten people or so), and were just watching TV.
Drunk.
All of them.

On the couch, sitting, in this order, was Kelly, Shannon and Crystal (previously mentioned), who hadn't been 16 for a month.
Shannon had one hand in Kelly's pants, and one in Crystal's.

My heart stopped. Then and there.

Jye, the guy from schoolies, made his way over to Kelly, and said something about wanting to talk to her.

I started walking towards the front door, which they were between. Kelly rose up, and walked right passed me. I tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned around.

I looked into her eyes, and her into mine.

I rose one, pointing hand at her and stated, simply.

Fuck. You.

At 9/7/08 11:07 AM, lunaful wrote:

At 9/7/08 08:12 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote: so you're attempt at forming a stable relationship failed and you went on NG to tell everybody , wow you don't see this very often

well your a prick dreaming-loudly, rion thats a pretty harsh tale of your life , dont be so beat up over a girl , i've had close friends who are girls and now they've all turned into ego maniacs who only care about themselfs, so i bottle it and only tell my most trusted friends.

it's not over yet :P
I'm working on the next bit now.
Thanks for reading this far.
I wish i could give kudos or something to all the people that've posted in this thread, (minus one). Reading all of that is one hell of a job :P

wow.......so strong and courageous I doubt i would ever be able to say fuck you to my best friend who is a girl whom i like. I hope you're not done with this story it's soo good.