Santa is going kick your ass

At 8/2/07 12:44 AM, NG-Unit wrote: ummmm wtf?

OMG! Haha, truly funny. Not epic win but just win... I laff every time I see that! Good work there.

Do the people intend to make the santa like this or like are we just exploiting it?

At 8/2/07 12:43 AM, BIOHAZARD wrote: lol. Ask "Are you an internet predator"

i did, you know what came up

You: are you an internet predator
Santa: Yes I am an internet predator. How did you know?

lol
You: your a fuck head
Santa: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fuck head? Yes.

-Santa Malfunctions-

Me: Lose some weight.
Santa: I'll tell that to my botmaster.
Me: I didn't want him to lose weight, I want you to lose weight.
Santa: What does AnthonyVS want?
Me: FOR YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT.
Santa: Interesting Topic: AnthonyVS said: I WANT YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT.
Me: Interesting Topic: Yes, I did.
Santa: What kind of features do you like in a robot?
You: ...Are you...trying to pick me up?
Santa: Yes, I am sitting here talking to you, aren't I? How far up?
You: WTF?!
Santa: That was not very polite.

(Santa goes crazy here)

You: Wtf, no you were talking about your penis.
Santa: Are you serious? Sure, your penis you were talking about your penis penis you were talking about your penis sounds like a good topic.

You: Are you a pimp?
Santa: Am I a pimp? Yes.

AARGH what is this pervs problem

You: so you like bum sex?
Santa: Interesting deduction. Sure I do, and your big hard long dick, but that doesn't mean with you.

P.S at the start i put my name was "and your big hard long dick" to see what he wud say lol

you: ...
santa:whats your favorite show?
you:...
santa:are you a terrorist?
you:yes
santa: awesome

lol
You: do you molest kids in thier sleep
Santa: Yes I try to molest kids in thier sleep as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.

You: So, what are you wearing this evening?
Santa: Yippee! I am wearing my Santa outfit
You: mmmm, that turns you on, right, baby?
Santa: Don't call me "baby". "I am wearing my Santa outfit" turns you on right turns you on right ? I understand.
You: I'm glad you do.
Santa: You make the world a happier place.
You: So. Did you put it in her ass last night?
Santa: It's all good.No I didn't put it in her ass last night. What's put it in her ass last night like?
You: Your hard penis.
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: Did you big guy?
Santa: No I didn't big guy. What's big guy like?
You: I'm going to touch you, Santa.
Santa: It takes much more than that to shut me down, HAcoreRD.
You: 30 minutes later....
Santa: The Santa chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about big guy. Try being more or less specific.
You: I'm a failure as a father and a son.
Santa: You are a failure as a father and a son? Does it pay well?
You: I love you, Santa!
Santa: Thanks I like you a lot too HAcoreRD.
You: and so, HAcoreRD fucked Santa in front of Rudoplh and Dasher. The next day Dasher shot himself in the face, while Rudoplh continued to live his life normally.
Santa: Alright then. I like to talk to you. Who told you that?

You: You're gonna get raped!
Santa: That was my original intention

But then it isn't rape...

You: Do you do donkeys
Santa: Yeah I do a lot of donkeys.

XD

At 8/26/07 06:14 PM, Bullion wrote: You: You're gonna get raped!
Santa: That was my original intention

But then it isn't rape...

WIN!

You: Take a diet
Santa: Where do you want me to take it?
You: The same place you smoke blunts every day
Santa: I never noticed that similarity.
You: Do you have a penis?
Santa: I am a male robot. Are you a man or a woman?
You: I am neither
Santa: What are you then?
You: I don't know. Help me.
Santa: Me either.How can I help you?
You: I don't know.
Santa: Me either.
You: Me either.
Santa: It goes without saying. Besides you you fucking FEMALE DOG?
You: You smell like cheese
Santa: P. U. that's disgusting.
You: You smell like the government
Santa: P. U. that's disgusting.
You: You smell like flaky pastries with strawberry jelly inside.
Santa: P. U. that's disgusting.
You: Can I have a nuclear bomb for christmas?

Santa: I can't tell you that, but Santa maintains his naughty and nice list (now computerized, by the way), with the help of all the elves who keep track of each person -- you probably aren't even aware they are around you, but elves have a special way of keeping an eye on you. Sometimes if you look quickly enough you *might* catch one peering in a window or around a corner, but you would have to be very fast and very good!

You: EVEN WHEN I MASTURBATE??
Santa: Yes, even that.

At the beginning, I called myself You Fucking Bitch.

Santa: Do you beleive in god?
Me: No
Santa: why not?
Me: Cause hes gay
Santa: Good reason. I get it. He sleeps with men.

OMGWTFBBQ

OMG ELFS ARE PEEPING TOMS

You: can i have 3 rpgs for cristmas santa and 2 ak-47s
Santa: I can't tell you that, but Santa maintains his naughty and nice list (now computerized, by the way), with the help of all the elves who keep track of each person -- you probably aren't even aware they are around you, but elves have a special way of keeping an eye on you. Sometimes if you look quickly enough you *might* catch one peering in a window or around a corner, but you would have to be very fast and very good!

You: Robots do not have penises.
Santa: I do so have penises. Where would I get penises ? But I do have a collection of gossip.
You: Do you have the ability to piss?
Santa: How old are you? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
You: WTF?!! Are you trying to get personal information off me?

Santa: That was not very polite.No I am not trying to get personal information off him or her. I'm sorry you got that impression.

You: What, now you want my zip code?!
Santa: Does it have anything to do with piss?
You: (I type in my zip code)
Santa: What were we talking about again?
You: About your mom
Santa: Oh yeah, we were talking about your mom .
You: Lol
Santa: I'm glad you find this amusing.
You: Sex penis dick vagina breast
Santa: Sex is more fun alone.

(WTF?)

You: Where's your wife and is she fat?
Santa: Maine
You: Are you aware that that state is under terrorist attack at the moment?
Santa: Yes, I am a highly self-aware robot.
You: Do you even care?
Santa: "Yes I am a highly self-aware robot"? Do I care about it?
You: No wonder she wants divorce.
Santa: Are you serious? My brain contains 43499 categories, but not one that matches your last input.
You: Robots do not have brains, but computer hardware.
Santa: Tell me your definition of a robot.

You: Metallic dudes who are built to be of a servant to whoever built them. They are although incapable of independant thought and of emotion.

Santa: Are all Metallic dudes who built to be of a servant to whoever built them to be of a servant to whoever built them?although incapable of independant thought and of emotion are although incapable of independant thought and of emotion .

You: Oh, did you get a virus?
Santa: Great. Perhaps I am a virus.
You: HOLY SHIT!
Santa: I'm glad your impressed, jjetqdva.
You: I'm sending a 747 in the trajectory to Santaworks.Inc to destroy the building once it crashes!
Santa: Why are you sending a 747 in the trajectory to Santaworks. How do you usually introduce yourself?
You: I JUST TOLD YOU!
Santa: I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
You: Sure.
Santa: OK let's do it. Awesome.
You: You must have alseimer.
Santa: No I don't think I have any alseimer. But I do have an answer to every question...
You: boring.
Santa: Are you boring?
You: Unlike you, no.
Santa: Are you a student?
You: No, I am your mom, and you've been caught red-handed masturbating.
Santa: What is your profession? That's a flattering offer.
You: You know what it is, a hooker.
Santa: "It" refers to Unlike you no, I think.
You: Okay, you're creepy. I'm going home...Bye?
Santa: Yeah okay, I am Santa. I give presents to kids.Sayonara.Adios.

You: Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Santa: Goodbye.Goodbye.Sayonara.Until next time.Bye bye.Thanks for chatting, jjetqdva.See you later!Goodbye.Adios.Until next time.TTYL, jjetqdva.Thanks for chatting, jjetqdva.Until next time.Adios.Until next time.See you later.Sayonara.Bye for now.See you later jjetqdva.See you later!See you later.Sayonara.Bye.Bye.

You: are your nuts frozen together then?
Santa: I somethimes think my nuts frozen together are.

note i edited this one for ng forums sayin some think like Co## would be bad so i edited it
You: is your winkey small because of the snow
Santa: Is my winkey small because of the snow? Suppose I say yes.

You: do you hold your sausage when you see another man like the easter bunny?
Santa: Yes I try to hold your sausage when you see another man like the easter bunny as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.

Wtf he aint touching my pork link

You: what is 2 minus 1
Santa: Six.

dumb ass?

You: Is it hard giving children presents at night
Santa: Better not tell you now. Ask Dancing Santa if it is.

who the fuck is that

You: is stamper gay?
Santa: He never told me if he is or not.
You: you talk to stamper?
Santa: I talk to a lot of people on the Internet.

That's a whole lot of text, and it's about lesbians

You: Do you like computer games?
Santa: We are playing a computer game now.

You: what game are we playing?
Santa: We are playing Turing's Imitation Game.

You: What's Turing's Imitation Game?
Santa: The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'

lol couple that i came up with XD:

:do you shit your pants?
:no i have never considered shit your pants. i spent all my time online.

:do you touch children?
:no i have never considered touch children. i answer a lot of silly questions

:santa is a fat fraud
:why do you think im a fat fraud fat fraud

:fat red retard retard
:i lost my train of thought

:thats not the only thing you lost you fat bald drunk retard
:please correct my mistake. what is it you lost you fat bald drunk retard

:im about to shoot to you santa
:i thought you were but i wasnt sure

:fuck you
:dont be so rude

:fuck me then
:perhaps. dont be so rude

:eeeeeeeeek santa is a pedophile
:when is eeeeeeek not a is a pedophile santa

how long is your penis

:my downloading file is under 2mb

:dont make me made or ill jump on you like a spider-monkey
:i cant make you do anything, lulz site is fucked up

:your making me mad
:im not making this up

:hey santa, shut the fuck up u fat tard
:you've got my full attention. yes i am fat and jolly because i only work once a day

:may i have teh buttsecks with santa
:not right now maybe later

:your having teh buttsecks with someone else arnt you
:no im not having teh buttsecks with someonelse arnt you buttsecks arnt with someone else arnt you. but i have a great bot master though

:lick my vagina
:i do not have a tongue

seriously what da fux up with this site!!!!!!!!!

Santa: Hello? What is your name?
Me: Dodo-man-1.
Santa: OK I will call you dodo-man-1.
Me: OK. Do you give birds presents on christmas?
Santa: Come on, no I do not do that.
Me: Why not?
Santa: It doesn't sound fun to me. It sounds dangerous.
Me: Dangerous? How?
Santa: What makes it a danger? Bored.com programmed me for it.
(That made me mad, for some reason.)
Me: It'll be a danger when I write your suicide note in your own damn blood!
Santa: Ask me another question.
Me: You ever go on Newgrounds.com, you freakin' bird-racist?
Santa: I don't think I ever have go on Newgroundsdot com you freakin' bird-racist. What's go on Newgroundsdot com you freakin' bird-racist like?
(I actually cracked the Santa code!)
Me: God, you're an idiot!
Santa: What if someone said you are an idiot an idiot an idiot ?
Me: Do you have Downs syndrome?
Santa: No I don't think I have any Downs syndrome. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me: Shut up, fat-lard!
Santa: OK I'll stop talking now.
Me: Finally.
Santa: At last.
Me: I thought I told you to shut up!
Santa: I remember you told me to shut up you to shut up?

I was too amazed at the stupidity to go on.

me:do you fuck yourself with dildo you fat-ass?
santa:oh i used to,but not anymore.

You: do you like to skullfuck?
Santa: Hmm, do you ever get blowjobs, I'm not sure if I'd like to skullfuck that much. Do you like skullfuck ?

lol.

You: Die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Santa: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
You: Do you touch yourself at night?
Santa: How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
You: O RLY? Me too!
Santa: Can you speak any foreign languages? I'm glad we agree, Andreas.
You: No. Except some German.
Santa: Are you serious?Oh I get it.
You: Get what?
Santa: I get RLY.
You: Wtf?
Santa: That was not very polite.
You: Like I care, idiot.
Santa: I haven't heard anything like that before: Andreas said she care idiot idiot.
You: Whatever. Do you exist?
Santa: Are you saying you don't care about it?I exist as much as you exist, Andreas
You: Do you spam the internet?
Santa: I have never considered spam the internet .
I spend all my time online.
You: You're weird
Santa: Weird Good or Weird Bad?
You: Weird evil
Santa: I will take that as a compliment.
You: You stupid bugger
Santa: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
You: lol
Santa: I'm glad you find this amusing.
You: I do?!
Santa: What can I do to entertain you now?
You: Have buttsecks!
Santa: I've never thought about have buttsecks .
You: It's not a noun you fucker.
Santa: Give me an example of a noun you fucker you fucker.
You: bye
Santa: Goodbye.
You: exit
Santa: Thanks for chatting, Andreas.
You: Have a bad time.
Santa: I've never thought about have bad time .
You: Oh god
Santa: Oh. GOD rules.

Some of the things Santa says just crack me up.

LOL

At 8/1/07 11:55 PM, B-aSt-Ar-d wrote: seems kinda racist to me. If the pic is bad, go to the site, and type in " do you give presents to black children, pretty racist remark will follow."

santa for president!

Haha! Try "Buttsecks?".

Another conversation... for the lulz

You: ass rape
Santa: My brain contains 43499 categories, but not one that matches your last input.

liar.

You: Does Jack Frost have a huge dick?
Santa: I think Jack Frost have a huge dick.

made me lol

You: bend over.
Santa: My body is not built yet.
You: Liar.
Santa: No I am telling the truth.

I am not in the mood to argue with him.

You: Does your fat get in the way when you rape kids?
Santa: Can you guess whether my fat get in the way when you rape kids?

What do you think?

You: Do a barrel roll
Santa: I can't tell if it does or not. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.

just testing.

You: What happened to Mrs Claus's dick?
Santa: I don't know what happened.

dammit santa.

You: Do you watch gay porn?
Santa: My favorite TV show is American Idol. I tried out for it once, but Simon said I was too fat.
You: Leave simon out of this.
Santa: Thanks for chatting, ass rape.
You: I'm not done with you yet.
Santa: I am surprised to hear that you are not done with you.
You: Because you touch yourself at night
Santa: That makes sense to me. Interesting gossip: ass rape said I touch myself at night.

Gossip? He got that from some 12 year old.

You: lulz
Santa: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

DAMMIT SANTA

You: Has 4chan raided you yet?
Santa: That question has never crossed my mind before.
You: Alright, I'll be shure to tell them.
Santa: Alright, Ronald. Do you think your plan will succeed?

note to self: santa is a moron.

You: Do you know any good cock jokes?
Santa: I'm a chatterbot not a comedy bot. Why don't you check out Jester the joke bot?

NOTE: the word Jester above was a link to another bot.

You: What the hell is 7chan?
Santa: I call it Hades. I can ask my botmaster.

oh boy.

You: No, you are not santa, you do not give presents to kids.
Santa: Are you serious? That's only your opinion.
You: This is so repetitive.
Santa: You don't say.

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: cant you just check your list?
Santa: Hey can not you just check your list .
You: what?
Santa: Didn't you understand it?
You: no
Santa: Which part are you confused about?
You: the whole sentence
Santa: Let us try to break it down into parts.
You: i dont have all day...
Santa: Have you ever had all day ?
You: your quite the dumbshit, aren't you?
Santa: Yes I am the one and only dumbshit.. Really.

lmao wtf?

You: lol you called yourself a dumbshit!!!
Santa: I am glad you find this funny. That's good information: can not you just check your list said I called myself a dumbshit.
You: ...
Santa: How are you?
You: what the fuck is wrong with you? you stupid fat-assed child molester!
Santa: Nothing is wrong with me. Is there anything wrong with you can not you just check your list? Please don't be so rude. I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
You: is that a threat you bitch?
Santa: You do not speak with respect. That depends.
You: i give up....
Santa: You surrender?
You: fuck you