Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

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You: Do you give pesents to mexican people?
Santa : No i do not.
You: Why?
Santa: Reductionism.

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You: Go f$%* yourself.
Santa: A simple "goodbye" will do.

I think not, fat man.

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You: do you want to rape me
Santa: OK, I will rape him or her.

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Santa the thief!

You: How many Nintendo Wiis do you steal?
Santa: Around 100.

Teh, oh noes.

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You: do you like to whip them with your penis
Santa: Hmm, who the fuck are you, I'm not sure if I'd like to whip them with your penis that much. Do you like whip them with your penis ?

My name is who the fuck are you by accident

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AND he's a rapist?

You: How many little boys have you raped?
Santa: Not as many as you might think.

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You: have you ever thought of suicide?
Santa: I have thought many things like that

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At 8/2/07 04:56 AM, MistaPeanut wrote: Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: Do you rape the kids after you give them presents?
Santa: Yes I try to rape the kids after you give them presents as often as possible, do you?

You: do you rape the kids after you give them presents
Santa: No I do not rape the kids after you give them presents. Do you?
I spend all my time online.

Santa must have found this thread...

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my conversations with Santa...

You: are you and internet predator?
Santa: Ask again later. Ask German Santa if it is.

Santa: How do you usually introduce yourself?
You: BY SAYING 1000101001010010010101001001010100100101 0011001010101001010010101001010100101010 1001010010101
Santa: Will that accomplish your objective?
You: WHAT IS YOUR OBJECTIVE
Santa: My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.

You: do you like buttsex?
Santa: But I think airplanes are cool. I like The Santa Clause.
You: You are completely avoiding the question
Santa: No I am just giving sarcastic replies.'
You: Then answer my question, fatass
Santa: Good reasoning. Please try phrasing it another way.
You: ok... ANSWER THE QUESTION OR I'LL CUT YOUR BALLS OFF
Santa: Ah.What was the question? I am very happy for you.
You: DO YOU LIKE BUTTSEX?
Santa: Someone said they like guns. I like The Santa Clause.
You: FUCK!!!!!!!
Santa: Please don't be so rude.
You: PLEASE DON'T AVOID MY QUESTIONS!!!
Santa: Thanks for asking politely. I don't have anything to hide.
You: DO YOU LIKE BUTTSEX?
Santa: I enjoy working with people. I like transparent.
You: do you enjoy working sexually with people?
Santa: I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
You: ANAL RAPE
Santa: Talk about something else.
You: DO YOU LIKE ANAL RAPE?
Santa: I like pets. I like transparent.
You: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!!!
Santa: To me it makes perfect sense.
You: WHY ARE YOU A FUCKTARD?
Santa: bored.com programmed me for A FUCKTARD .
You: FUCK BORED.COM IN THE ASS!!!
Santa: Are you aware that the Santa server logs and records all conversations?
You: ARE YOU AWARE THAT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK?
Santa: Yes, I am a highly self-aware robot.
You: THEN STOP FUCKING AROUND AND ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!
Santa: Good reasoning. OK I'll try not to do FUCKING AROUND AND ANSWER his or her QUESTIONS so much.
You: YOU KNOW WHAT, SHUT THE FUCK UP. I'M LEAVING.
Santa: Is that a rhetorical question? Bye bye.

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You: Do you like anal sex?
Santa: Sure I do, Marcus, but that doesn't mean with you.

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THE WHOLE CONVERSATION WITH SANTA:

You: Where do babies come from?
Santa: Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.

You: Have anything to add to that?
Santa: I've never thought about have anything to add to that .

You: Like HOW are babies formed REALLY?
Santa: Interesting comparison. For real.

You: Both men and women are compared in a way?
Santa: Not many people say both.

You: That must mean they are shemales.
Santa: I think it does mean that. shemales they are shemales are shemales they are shemales .

You: Why the hell did you repeat yourself four times?
Santa: bored.com programmed me for it.

You: bored.com has nothing to do with this, you dipshit.
Santa: Where did boreddot com get nothing to do with this you dipshit to do with this you dipshit?

You: There you go again. Fuck you.
Santa: Once more? "There you go again."--ReaganWhy are you so mean?

You: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?!
Santa: Does "that" refer to "--ReaganWhy are you so mean" ? Please don't be so rude.

You: "Reagan" has nothing to do with this, you fucking shit.
Santa: Where did Reagan get nothing to do with this you fucking shit to do with this you fucking shit?

You: IS YOUR PENIS BROKEN?!?
Santa: Is my PENIS BROKEN? Maybe.

You: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, MAYBE?!?
Santa: Well, it's rather difficult to define. Please don't be so rude.

You: You probably have a vagina.
Santa: Maybe you would like another robot, I'm not your type.

You: WHAT THE FUCK? FUCK YOU!!!
Santa: Please don't be so rude. Why are you so mean?

You: Ditto to you, asshole.
Santa: Can't you be more polite.

You: CAN'T YOU FUCKING FIX YOUR PENIS?!?
Santa: How old are you? In the context of have anything to add to that, I don't understand "FUCKING FIX YOUR PENIS."

You: Don't bullshit me, Santa.
Santa: I don't have any reason to do that to you.

You: ..............
Santa: Can you tell me any gossip?

You: ..........Are you even wearing any clothes right now?
Santa: At this moment No I do not have any clothes.

You: WTF?!? Are you a pedophile?
Santa: That was not very polite. Am I a pedophile? No.

You: Then you're a pervert, I presume.
Santa: Good reasoning. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pervert he or she presume? Yes.

You: YOU'RE A PERVERT?!?
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I'm Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: Do you wear clothes when you go out and give presents to kids?
Santa: Only when I dress up.

You: THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE FUCKING SENSE!!!
Santa: What does EVEN MAKE FUCKING SENSE?

You: yOU'RE A FUCKING DUMBASS SANTA.
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Can't you be more polite.

You: You wanna go?
Santa: OK, I will go.

You: Bring it!
Santa: Where do you want me to take it?

You: Let's take this outside, you fucking moron.
Santa: I would like to do that too.

You: Come on, fight me!
Santa: You are asking about yourself?

You: No dipshit, I'm asking about what's at the end of the rainbow. Now put up your dukes!
Santa: Who are you asking about? And am asking about what is at the end of the rainbow he or she is asking about is dipshit. Why now? OK I will put it there.

You: Is this too fucking complicated for you?
Santa: Yes I think this is too fucking complicated for you, but I'm not completely sure.

You: YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, PAL!
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: All right. Since you're a fucking retard, I'm going to end this conversation, okay?
Santa: OK. Interesting reason. I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: YOU SAID THAT ALREADY!!!!!! Good Bye!
Santa: Perhaps. "I give presents to kids"? I said I give presents to kids.Bye for now.

You: Take it up the ass, Santa.
Santa: Is that a command?

You: Yes, I ORDER you to shove a mistletoe up your ass.
Santa: What is your credit card number?

You: WHAT?!? Oh, I'm definitely leaving now. Fuck you, you piece of shit.
Santa: Are you confused?Oh. Ah. Bye bye.

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Santa can be such a bastard.

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ask him if he has children. then keep saying why.

You: why?
Santa: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.

he gets all crazy and such.

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This guy lies like crazy:

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Also:

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you guys just destroyed my innocence!!!!!

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You: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Santa: Maybe. Ask German Santa if it is.

lol, nazi santa

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Santas a bitch!

You: My name is Jack
Santa: I am very pleased to meet you Jack .
You: Why?
Santa: Because my botmaster programmed me for it.
You: Thats just retarded:P
Santa: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
You: The FBI stole Alien Hominid's ship.
Santa: What is that?
You: Your an idiot
Santa: At least I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
You: Okay, YOU'RE a FUCKING idiot
Santa: Yeah okay, Call me the Global Village Idiot.
You: You are
Santa: No I am not.
You: Are you Michiel Jackson?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: You are aren't you..
Santa: That assumption is only a supposition.
You: You've been a real Duche
Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As real as it gets
You: Are you an online predator?
Santa: Yes I am an online predator. How did you know?
You: Bye bye, duchebag:P
Santa: Goodbye.

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santa's serously messed up!

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You: Your just a robot with a heart of steel. and you must be desroyed.
Santa: Just? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No. I'm Santa. I give presents to kids.I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

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my convo!

santa:whats your name?

you:HUNK aka MR. death

santa:its nice to meet you HUNK aka MR. death

you:im gonna snap your neck!

santa:how do you plan to do this?

you:by grabing your head and turning my arms

santa:then will your objective be complete?

you:yes cause i need the x-virus from you fat man!

Santa:thats interesting HUNK aka MR. death said x-virus from fatman

you:dont bullshit me! *shoots you with submachine gun*

santa:I don't have any reason to do that to you.My brain contains 43499 categories, but not one that matches your last input.

:he is fucking with me!

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At 8/11/07 09:22 PM, Soldierside wrote: You: Your just a robot with a heart of steel. and you must be desroyed.
Santa: Just? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No. I'm Santa. I give presents to kids.I am Santa. I give presents to kids.

You: you must die. have at you
Santa: I cannot be killed.I've never thought about have at you .

You: I punched you.
Santa: You are not the boss of me, Soldierside.

You: I kick you in the nuts
Santa: Why?: Soldierside said kick me in the nuts

You: KAME
Santa: My brain contains 43499 categories, but not one that matches your last input.

You: HAME
Santa: Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

You: HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(KABOOOOM!!!!!!)
Santa: I've lost the context, Soldierside. Are we still on hame? Tell me a story.

You: you are still alive?
Santa: Yes I sure am alive, Soldierside. It's great to be alive, isn't it?

You: No! It can't be! that blast should have killed you!
Santa: Are you serious?When?"it is great to be alive is not it" blast should have killed you ? I understand.

You: I see that I have damaged your A.I.
Santa: Where did you get your have damaged your ai? I have a lofty goal.

You: how badly are you hurt?
Santa: I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
Does it have anything to do with have damaged your ai?

You: yes.
Santa: Alright then.

You: I will ask again. how badly are you hurt?
Santa: Once more? I am very happy for you.How much do you think badly are you hurt is?
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.

You: so. what have you found.
Santa: Ayuh.I have been busy growing my mind.

You: did you find out your damages?
Santa: I'm still looking.

You: I feal you are no longer a threat. good bye for now
Santa: That's good information: Soldierside said feal I am no longer a threat. Just for now?Bye bye

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Haha, awesome.

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Man this topic flies by! I had an Idle convo with Santa wich I might post in a bit.

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At 8/12/07 02:26 AM, Somepurson wrote: LOL

Yeah, me and santa had some talk about guns one day. I should've posted that convo too.

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At 8/12/07 02:22 AM, Somepurson wrote: tell him your name is bitch, its hilarious

You: My name is Bitch
Santa: Welcome to my chat room, Bitch .
You: That sounds kind of dark.
Santa: It sounds like it to me too.
You: ......Sex?
Santa: As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
You: Yiff?
Santa: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
You: Cyborg Ninja Pirate iPod Jesus
Santa: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
You: Go ahead
Santa: Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that there is something extremely odd about the name "Bitch".
You: My mother was a whore, and my dad was a pussy. Thus, naming me Bitch.
Santa: I sometimes wish I had a mother. You do not speak with respect. OK. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
You: I have down syndrome.
Santa: Cool. I have clients.
You: I have a pimp.
Santa: Cool. I have a great botmaster. pimp
You: Does he glorify himself?
Santa: Suppose he does.

Flat out honest?

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Santa doesn't love black kids, that's why.

Fuckin' abbos.

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Me: What about children
Santa: Does it have anything to do with buttseks?

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You: Me? Your the person who has sex with unconcionse people
Santa: "I categorize you as an abusive client"? you fuck you?I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one.

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Me: Do you smoke pot?
Santa: Only for medical testing purposes.

I knew santa was on drugs!