Hey fuckers,
I have been spending time preparing a standard Form of Indeminity for you all to sign when taking on a particular experiment/mission/celebration/strange sexual act. It should cover us in case any shit goes down, so we don't have to pay for your arse if we don't feel like that.
Not that we won't of course.....it's just a business, see?
In seeking to participate in this experiment/mission/celebration/strange sexual act conducted and organised by the NG Mafia,
I (full name)________________________________________
_________________
residential address______________________________________
______________
_____________________________________________
_____________________
do hereby warrant and acknowledge;
that my general health is good and there is nothing which renders me unfit to undertake
this experiment/mission/celebration/strange sexual act,
that I understand and appreciate fully the fact that there may well be risks, hazards and dangers involved to which I would be subjected, more particularly:
that there will not always be protection in the form of fences, buildings and vehicles in which to take cover, and that there may be exposure to one or more of the following potentially dangerous situations, such as explosions, hand-to-hand combat, shooting, being shot at, being shot at real bad, being shot at super bad, exposure to wandering n00bs, being around when Strauss is in angry mode, kidnapping, getting between Boris and his alcohol, a proliferation of one-armed Brazilian prostitutes (only a possibility if you are hanging around Hitman), being hit on by Shade, excessive use of brain, and other situations to numerous to mention;
that I am aware of the hazards and distribution of areas of health risk in the NG Mafia, examples: you will be entering a radioactive zone in certain areas of Triv's labs, you will be entering a rabies zone in and around Prower's room etc,
that I am aware of the potential dangers of exposure to the sun - directly or indirectly - and that serious sunburn may result from unprotected exposure, especially on your wangdoodle.
I accept that I will be required to perform any task asked of me and perform obeisance to Godfather Ghost at all times, and I voluntarily assume the risk inherent in taking part in such an experiment/mission/celebration/strange sexual act and I, together with my heirs, executors and administrators hereby release NG Mafia, its officers, servants, agents and representatives, from any duty or care towards me, in connection with my participation in any tour, and from liability from all or any claims that could accrue to me or my heirs, executors and administrators arising out of my participation in the experiment/mission/celebration/strange sexual act or in any related activities irrespective of whether such claim or claims arose through the negligence of any person, or from any of the risks, dangers or hazards inherent in the experiment/mission/celebration/strange sexual act, or of any loss of, or damage to, any property from any cause whatsoever and I further indemnify and hold harmless associated persons against any claims howsoever the same may arise.
Signed at ............................ this ....................... day of ...................... 20 ....
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Before me, the undersigned .........................................
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Please distribute and put into use immediately.
Thank you.