still have some work to do
granted it wasnt as bad as some stuff ive seen....but it was still pretty bad =/ the diolge was horrid and the sound just got anoying. i had to re watch it like 3 times because it kept freezing at one point. you have potiental...just keep at it.
alrite...
weaksauce wiggins!
wow your just an eva wanna be....
wow how could you not give credit to evangelion????? all of your character designs were based off the evangelion characters!!!!! not to mention the sound sucked and the whole moved soo slow, i mean what was up with the like 2 minute pause?? so very lame.
To Say It Needs Work Is An Understatement
It was all right, I guess. The style of animation you did for it was pretty well. However, the complete rip-off of "Evangelion" characters (when I didn't really even like that series much to begin with) really turned me off. This may have been the point, but come on! Even their clothes were the same.
You can still make an original storyline with original characters without completely ripping off a series. Hell, "Rah Xephon" proved that. That series had its own style, character designs, though very similar to the "Evangelion" storyline and characters, because it was meant to be.
So next time, try not to blatantly rip-off other people's hard work by tracing. It's really haphazard and shows you have no creativity or originality whatsoever.
What you also need is music. Having that two minute gap with Shinji-clone staring at Asuka-clone was the most hackneyed part of this entire thing. I honestly was about to close the window and mistake it for being a glitch. Maybe it is, but if that were the case, then maybe you need to work on this a lot more. I would also suggest finding a composer to help you with the music so that the silent scenes are made more interesting. Fixing your timing is another priority.
Another thing: Nothing really important happened. This introduction was completely pointless. It's one thing to start a story very slow, but it's another when it's utterly boring and made very little sense. This video was almost as much of a waste to make as it was to watch; you didn't even introduce your characters properly.
And where did that Kaji-clone come from? He just sort of appeared from the same door where the Shinji-clone came out of, but he wasn't anywhere seen in the classroom. Shinji-clone's reaction to Asuka-clone supposedly "liking" him was also cliché.
As a writer, I agree with the last person who reviewed and think that the script could use a hell of a lot of work. "Poop for brains?" Talk about the worse intro line ever to our main characters. The voice acting alone seemed like a rip-off of the "Evangelion" dubs, and that's not really something to brag about.
You're trying to tell an actual story, but it's not working out. I'd suggest you find another writer, or work on upping your skills in that department, which might take a few years.
My advice is to try to stop copying other styles and create one of your own. Originality doesn't grow on trees, but if you can't come up with material of your own than maybe you're doing the wrong thing by making "creative" work of your own.
One last thing: I'm not saying all of this because I'm trying to be mean. I'm saying this because it's my honest opinion, and this is what I thought afterward. Next time you decide to upload anything like this, make sure that there's an actual point to go across. By the time this flash was finished, I was staring at the screen, wondering what the hell I was just doing.
NGE it ain't
Hohum another high school Anime wannabe, look, watch more Klamp and find out how to do it properly before boring us all to tears with tired clones, are you trying to redo Neon Gen. Evangelion?, sorry your 'shinj' is a <expletive deleted> and your Asuka needs a personality transplant... Look I don't mean to be cruel but I hope that subsequent episodes have more pace and less total, static silence for what felt like ten minutes, also try and put more smoothness into the mix, it is jerky and artificial seeming and with so many better Anime out there this is really poor - I applaud your attempt and do not wish to discourage you from trying harder in the future though, so good for you for trying but try harder in future - I shall look out for more of your efforts in the future