Many people have given you praise on the good qualities of the game so I won't go into too much detail on those things aside from saying I like the graphics and story. I would like to address the negatives aspects of the game:
- There is no way to skip the Disclaimer and the Opening Credits. I understand that you want to make sure that everyone reads them, but forcing the player to sit through them doesn't guarantee this (I've replayed the game at least three times and I barely even look at them. It's just wasting the player's time). For people that want to replay the game, this can get very annoying.
- There is no saving mechanic. I know the game is short, but if something happens part way through the game that causes them to lose all of their progress, the player needs to sit through the disclaimer and opening credits again. Also, a saving mechanic would allow the player to see the outcome of the different choices, such as what would happen if you only went into the neighbor's room with a kitchen knife.
- I'm guessing you aren't a native English speaker, are you? There are far too many odd word choices and mistakes in grammar in the game. A few of these mistakes include the “About the favor…” option with the store clerk; the last line about the cards gathering dust for over a month repeats this in the same sentence. The mother says “baby, open your eyes”; a mother would say the baby’s name. When near the protagonist's bed, there is a word in place of where the word "object" should be in a different language, next to the words "sleeping pills". The cabinet or cupboard in the protagonist's room is called the nightstand in the game. So two objects in the protagonist’s room are marked as “nightstand”. These are just a few of errors I've found. There are a lot more. I'd be happy to help you with these.
- The store owner is looking for a "seller" and even has an ad in the newspaper and can’t find anyone. First off, I think you mean cashier or store manager, not a seller. Also, the bum says that jobs get taken up quickly. He’s literally sitting outside of a place that offers work and can’t find a job? It’d be cool if you could let the bum know about the opening, even if the owner would say "No. I can't hire him. He smells, he's dirty, and I can't trust him not to steal from me."
- The sound effect for the drier goes on for a little longer after it is done.
- The player can get a book from the hotel owner, but can't read it. What's the point in that? If the neighbor had a gun, I can imagine that maybe the book would catch the bullet and save the protagonist's life, but this wasn't the case. The player can't interact with their inventory at all.
- I'd suggest implementing the WASD keys for controls. It's a small thing, but it gives people one less thing to complain about. Also, if you plan to incorporate the mouse or other keyboard button into the next chapter, the WASD becomes even more important.
- This one is just a personal preference. While I like the protagonist's personality (he's real with himself, down to earth, and is aware that his current situation is his fault while he also knows, much like everyone else, that the city is corrupt, which is the one thing just about everyone has in common in the game), I found him to be extremely cocky during the interview at the end of the game; he seemed to exaggerate the situation, such as him saying that "the fatalities could have gone up to the hundreds" or something like that. I doubt there are even a hundred people in that hotel, let alone the guy succeeding in killing that many people with a knife alone.
- I feel like the game would be more fun if it were extended to be an open world game, rather than what it is now. There are a number of people you can interact with that affects what happens to them in game and what will happen to them tomorrow, like the bum, the hooker, and the laundry lady.
However, like the others, I do look forward to the next chapter of this game and wish you luck!