At 8/18/09 01:26 PM, GOTHCLAWZ wrote:

At 8/18/09 12:37 PM, Lost-Chances wrote: Please don't continue. I can see how this is going to go. Roughly the same direction as the ring-and-index-finger theories.

I most certainly will do. I saw it on a show called "Lie To Me".

That show's about how you can know someone's lying by the tells they give in their face and body language. The guy/girl was probably just lying about it in some way, and the tell in his face gave it away.

At 8/18/09 03:06 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Haha, you're cute. Sure you can join!
We're pretty much the coolest gay/bi people you'll ever get the treat of talking to. Haha, kidding. But there are some pretty awesome people in here.

I'm in the cool club now :D Yay! lol

At 8/18/09 04:31 PM, Klyptomaniac wrote: I'm in the cool club now :D Yay! lol

Coolest kids on the block?

Hahahaha, ha.

Hey, everyone, I could really use some advice right now, as I'm a little down.

I've been thinking about coming out to my friends and family lately; I'm sick of hiding who I truly am.

After hearing and reading some horrific coming out stories from people, it makes me terrified to actually tell anyone, as I'm afraid of how they'll react. Now, don't get me wrong, I've heard some really positive coming out stories, too, and it helps a little bit, but I can't shake that fear out of my head. I've lied awake many a night this past month trying to think of ways to prepare myself for this, but I just don't know...

It's more my friends I'm worried about then my family. I know my mother will accept me for whatever I am, I know my grandmother will, my sister will, and I don't think my brother will care either way. My father, on the other hand, will make a big deal out of this...but he doesn't matter in this situation. I won't go into that now. That's my immediate family, though. The rest of my family are devout Christians. Granted, I'm not close with any of my relatives, so I'm not really worried about them.

As for my friends, I know how people say, "If they wont accept you for who you are, then they're not true friends." While I agree with that, it still doesn't make it any easier: I don't know if they'll accept me or not. They generally like to make fun of the homosexual community, but I'm not sure if they're joking or not. I'm not afraid that they'll go around and tell everyone, either, but I am afraid that they'll all just leave me. That'd be the last thing I want.

So, members of the Newgrounds gay/bisexual club, I really need your input on this one. How can I build up the courage to tell them? How should I tell them? Should I tell them?

Any help whatsoever would be greatly appreciated, and any coming out stories you'd like to share that you think would be helpful would be alright, too.

I use pink text, but I'm not gay.

plot twist.

At 8/18/09 06:47 PM, Sensationalism wrote:

At 8/18/09 06:23 PM, SpartanBunny wrote:

At 8/18/09 04:31 PM, Klyptomaniac wrote: I'm in the cool club now :D Yay! lol

Coolest kids on the block?

Hahahaha, ha.

BRB changing sig!!

Oh my. Jizzed.

i need help to find out if i am gay because i sort of have a crush on my friend but i don't know if it's just a phase because i'm 12.

At 8/18/09 07:52 PM, Xenolithic wrote: So, members of the Newgrounds gay/bisexual club, I really need your input on this one. How can I build up the courage to tell them? How should I tell them? Should I tell them?

Any help whatsoever would be greatly appreciated, and any coming out stories you'd like to share that you think would be helpful would be alright, too.

Well, I think you should come out to your family first and your friend's later. Come out to your family, talk about it with them, and get a feel of what it's like to actually reveal a secret like that. If your family is accepting of it, that alone may give you the confidence boost that you need to tell your friends.

If not, then you have a number of other people who can help you, support you, and give you feedback. At least, judging by the way that you described them, that is.

As far as your friends go, the question isn't whether you should tell them, it's whether you need to tell them. Do you need your friends to know this one thing about you for these negative feelings that you have to go away? Telling your family may give you an environment to live in so that you don't even need to make an announcement to your friends.

In my experience with revealing my secrets to people, it's easiest to just say it. Cut to the chase.

"{name}, I need to talk to you about something. It's something that I really feel like I need to tell someone about. For a while, I've been having attractions to men and I'm pretty sure that I'm gay. I hope this doesn't change how you feel about me."

Or something like that.

I never actually officially "came out." I didn't make any announcement, I just stopped lying about it. I stopped pretending to be straight. If someone asked, I would tell. Though, it's probably easier for me because I live in Massachusetts, the land of the gays.

Of course, I was in the closet for about a year or so before coming out... er, ceasing to lie. I would freak out slightly if someone accused me, jokingly or not, of being gay. Now that I look back on it, it's kind of cute.

I don't know what convinced me to stop lying about it. I think it was around somewhere in the middle of eighth grade when I first answered a question truthfully, or whatever happened. It's not an important memory for me, really, because I hadn't been planning it and I think by that point, it didn't matter to me.

Eighth grade year was a crazy time for me. I had just figured out I was a masochist, I was still confused about my sexuality, school was really awful for me, I was lonely, I was falling in and out of pain addiction, and so many other things. I told a lot of people a lot of things I shouldn't have for the sake of telling someone, mostly about my masochism and related subjects. My sexuality just got caught up in that, I suppose.

From that experience, I can give you this advice: Be careful about who you tell things to. I know some people say you should be able to open up to the world and show that you're proud of who you are, but that's not practical. I lost a lot of some of my friends' respect by telling them I was a masochist. Though, a lot of what I experienced came from me telling untrustworthy friends that told other mutual friends.

My point is, don't tell everyone that you're gay just because you want to talk about it. Don't get me wrong, by all means, come out of the closet. That's awesome. But, tell only the people that you think will accept you and have a good talk with them about it first before you make the decision whether or not to tell others.

Here's hoping that I helped and I didn't ramble.

Oh, I'd just like to add that I didn't really have any problems with telling anyone that I was a lesbian (or, I told them I was bi at the time because that's what I thought I was) because around here, it's generally pretty well accepted. The negative consequences where from disclosing my masochism.

At 8/18/09 08:54 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Oh, I'd just like to add that I didn't really have any problems with telling anyone that I was a lesbian

And what I mean by that is that I didn't get much grief for it.

Bah, I'm not on the ball today. Sorry for the triple post.

At 8/18/09 07:52 PM, Xenolithic wrote: So, members of the Newgrounds gay/bisexual club, I really need your input on this one. How can I build up the courage to tell them? How should I tell them? Should I tell them?

Just test them slowly. See how your best friend is with the idea by hinting or something (just not with HIM) and see how he reacts. Maybe the whole 'fear' of telling everyone isn't even needed - because when you know someone well enough, you can gauge thier reaction. Try that, and do it on how you think.

I never really had worries telling people I was gay, because I trusted my friends, and over in Australia people judge with thier mind, not thier bible.

At 8/18/09 06:47 PM, Sensationalism wrote: BRB changing sig!!

How will we remember Maximus? :(

He's quit the forums I think...

At 8/18/09 08:49 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Well, I think you should come out to your family first and your friend's later. Come out to your family, talk about it with them, and get a feel of what it's like to actually reveal a secret like that. If your family is accepting of it, that alone may give you the confidence boost that you need to tell your friends.

Yeah, if I do come out eventually, I do want it to be to my family first, as my family members and I have a different relationship then my friends and I do. And, I trust my family more with things like this. I know that bad to say that I don't trust my friends, but I've had certain things happen in the past where they've completely lost my trust.

As far as your friends go, the question isn't whether you should tell them, it's whether you need to tell them. Do you need your friends to know this one thing about you for these negative feelings that you have to go away? Telling your family may give you an environment to live in so that you don't even need to make an announcement to your friends.

It's not so much that I get negative feelings from being homosexual and having people not know, but I just feel like I'm hiding a large part of myself: The part of myself that really makes me who I am. How I act. relate to people, and how I generally live my life. I see your point though, and it makes me think that I'll only tell my friends when the time comes, and if need be.

In my experience with revealing my secrets to people, it's easiest to just say it. Cut to the chase.

"{name}, I need to talk to you about something. It's something that I really feel like I need to tell someone about. For a while, I've been having attractions to men and I'm pretty sure that I'm gay. I hope this doesn't change how you feel about me."

That's actually a really simple, but good start. Perhaps I'll copy that and modify it a bit to fit my needs. Thanks.

Of course, I was in the closet for about a year or so before coming out... er, ceasing to lie. I would freak out slightly if someone accused me, jokingly or not, of being gay. Now that I look back on it, it's kind of cute.

Heh, I don't think I've ever been accused of being homosexual. Not that I can remember, anyways. If I was ever accused, I don't honestly know how I'd react. I guess it depends if they say it in a serious questioning manner, or in a kind of harsh, angry tone, or something to that effect.

From that experience, I can give you this advice: Be careful about who you tell things to. I know some people say you should be able to open up to the world and show that you're proud of who you are, but that's not practical. I lost a lot of some of my friends' respect by telling them I was a masochist. Though, a lot of what I experienced came from me telling untrustworthy friends that told other mutual friends.

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm not a very open person in real life. I generally just keep to myself, and keep things on a need to know basis. Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing. In this case, I suppose it'll be a very useful thing. Thanks a lot for the advice.

My point is, don't tell everyone that you're gay just because you want to talk about it. Don't get me wrong, by all means, come out of the closet. That's awesome. But, tell only the people that you think will accept you and have a good talk with them about it first before you make the decision whether or not to tell others.

I get what you're saying. Even if I don't end up telling anybody in real life, I've always got the few amazing friends I've met online that do know, and accept me, and I've got everyone here.

Here's hoping that I helped and I didn't ramble.

Haha, a bit of rambling, but no worries there, my friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that out just to try and help me. And believe me, it did. A lot. After reading all of this, and letting it soak in, I think my head is the clearest it's been this entire month.

Thanks again. :)

At 8/18/09 10:01 PM, Podburrys wrote: Just test them slowly. See how your best friend is with the idea by hinting or something (just not with HIM) and see how he reacts. Maybe the whole 'fear' of telling everyone isn't even needed - because when you know someone well enough, you can gauge thier reaction. Try that, and do it on how you think.

Well, yes, this ^ if you have no idea how the person will react.

He's quit the forums I think...

He's permabanned, I think.

Let's hope the mod who keeps renewing his ban forgets.

At 8/18/09 10:09 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Let's hope the mod who keeps renewing his ban forgets.

Ah, that explains it. Bugger. :(

At 8/18/09 10:08 PM, Xenolithic wrote: As much as I hate to admit it, I'm not a very open person in real life. I generally just keep to myself, and keep things on a need to know basis. Sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing. In this case, I suppose it'll be a very useful thing. Thanks a lot for the advice.

I'm not either, now. Not after the masochism fiasco. And I've always had a hard time trusting people with my emotions and feelings. I'm much more open on the internet.

Disclosing my masochism was less out of trust and more, like I said, out of just wanting to get the words out of my mouth. It probably would have been more productive and less damaging if I had talked about it with my dog :I

I get what you're saying. Even if I don't end up telling anybody in real life, I've always got the few amazing friends I've met online that do know, and accept me, and I've got everyone here.

Yeah, my online friends have been a huge, huge help to me in the last few years. My real life friends that I have aren't extremely close, so I've always gone to the friends that I've met here first when I've needed support. Getting connected with people from ng with msn had been one of the best decisions I've made for myself. I've gotten so many great friends out of this place.

Thanks again. :)

I'm glad I could help :D

At 8/18/09 10:22 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote:

Getting connected with people from ng with msn had been one of the best decisions I've made for myself. I've gotten so many great friends out of this place.

If you'd like, you can add me on MSN: stickxupxkid@yahoo.com. :D

At 8/18/09 10:38 PM, Xenolithic wrote:

At 8/18/09 10:22 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote:

Getting connected with people from ng with msn had been one of the best decisions I've made for myself. I've gotten so many great friends out of this place.

If you'd like, you can add me on MSN: stickxupxkid@yahoo.com. :D

Added :D

At 8/18/09 10:47 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote: Added :D

oshi- level 28.

i just noticed

At 8/18/09 10:54 PM, TehSlapHappy wrote: oshi- level 28.

It makes me feel cool, like a gansta.

At 8/18/09 10:59 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote:

At 8/18/09 10:54 PM, TehSlapHappy wrote: oshi- level 28.

It makes me feel cool, like a gansta.

Just don't go shanking people.

At 8/18/09 07:52 PM, Xenolithic wrote:

After hearing and reading some horrific coming out stories from people, it makes me terrified to actually tell anyone, as I'm afraid of how they'll react. Now, don't get me wrong, I've heard some really positive coming out stories, too, and it helps a little bit, but I can't shake that fear out of my head. I've lied awake many a night this past month trying to think of ways to prepare myself for this, but I just don't know...

I have the same problem, I'm not afraid of loosing friends because of coming out, because all my friends are very democratic and don't hate gay people at all. The thing is, I just don't like the thought of anyone's "immediate" reaction when i tell them i'm gay. The possible surprise they might have, and most of all.... the terrible, terrible awkwardness. I just simply don't want to say "I'm gay". I might actually start wearing a rainbow bracelet in public, so i don't have to tell anyone, they'll know when they see the bracelet.

BTW everyone, do you all participate in the Day of Silence? I did this past year and blurted out stuff many, many times, not realizing it until after i said it. Argh.

At 8/19/09 03:19 AM, hhcash wrote:

At 8/18/09 07:52 PM, Xenolithic wrote:

After hearing and reading some horrific coming out stories from people, it makes me terrified to actually tell anyone, as I'm afraid of how they'll react. Now, don't get me wrong, I've heard some really positive coming out stories, too, and it helps a little bit, but I can't shake that fear out of my head. I've lied awake many a night this past month trying to think of ways to prepare myself for this, but I just don't know...

I have the same problem, I'm not afraid of loosing friends because of coming out, because all my friends are very democratic and don't hate gay people at all. The thing is, I just don't like the thought of anyone's "immediate" reaction when i tell them i'm gay. The possible surprise they might have, and most of all.... the terrible, terrible awkwardness. I just simply don't want to say "I'm gay". I might actually start wearing a rainbow bracelet in public, so i don't have to tell anyone, they'll know when they see the bracelet.

BTW everyone, do you all participate in the Day of Silence? I did this past year and blurted out stuff many, many times, not realizing it until after i said it. Argh.

Day of Silence? I'm not familiar with it, care to elaborate? Also, with telling people, reactions are bad because they think you're joking. But sometimes they're good - I told a guy once and got offer for sex. Awkward, but still. Just tell them face to face if you don't trust them.

At 8/18/09 08:18 PM, andyman2009 wrote: i need help to find out if i am gay because i sort of have a crush on my friend but i don't know if it's just a phase because i'm 12.

Wait 5 years. You'll be more sure by then.

At 8/18/09 07:52 PM, Xenolithic wrote: Hey, everyone, I could really use some advice right now, as I'm a little down.

I've been thinking about coming out to my friends and family lately; I'm sick of hiding who I truly am.

Be blunt and make it clear it hasn't changed your personality from who they already know you as.

Any help whatsoever would be greatly appreciated, and any coming out stories you'd like to share that you think would be helpful would be alright, too.

It's probably best if I don't share my only experience of coming out.

Double posting is cool.

At 8/19/09 03:19 AM, hhcash wrote: BTW everyone, do you all participate in the Day of Silence? I did this past year and blurted out stuff many, many times, not realizing it until after i said it. Argh.

Nope. I love the comfort of my closet too much. Not to mention, my teachers will end up thinking my mental health problem has drastically worsened over the holidays.

At 8/19/09 01:13 AM, Sensationalism wrote: IFUN, you're identifying as a lesbian now? Last I knew, you were bi. Care to explain a little more how you came to that conclusion? Because I think it might help me, I'm not fully sure I'm bi anyway. Thanks.

It's not really a conclusion, it's more of me just finding the best word to describe myself. I don't even know for sure quite yet if that's what I am.

It started being a question for me again when I was breaking up with my second boyfriend. I posted about that here, I think, where I wasn't attracted to him and didn't know if it was him in particular or men in general.

I don't think I can help you here, unfortunately, because we're in the same boat :I

At 8/19/09 03:19 AM, hhcash wrote: BTW everyone, do you all participate in the Day of Silence? I did this past year and blurted out stuff many, many times, not realizing it until after i said it. Argh.

I participated in that this year.

3/4 of my grade did it, which turned into about half by the end of the day. My science and my English teacher also did it.

At 8/19/09 04:15 AM, Podburrys wrote:

Day of Silence? I'm not familiar with it, care to elaborate? Also, with telling people, reactions are bad because they think you're joking. But sometimes they're good - I told a guy once and got offer for sex. Awkward, but still. Just tell them face to face if you don't trust them.

http://www.dayofsilence.org/index.cfm

At 8/19/09 01:14 PM, hhcash wrote: http://www.dayofsilence.org/index.cfm

Whoops, thought it was an event that's soon. I still wouldn't take part, I just lack the guts.

If your school has an (American) Football team. Join it.

You will find out real quick those tough jocks you see at school might have a few secrets of their own.

At 8/19/09 03:19 AM, hhcash wrote: BTW everyone, do you all participate in the Day of Silence? I did this past year and blurted out stuff many, many times, not realizing it until after i said it. Argh.

Yeah, I participated this year, and last year. It was pretty cool. Instead of explaining to my mom why I was completely silent for the whole day, I left a note the day before, and went to a friends house for the day. I was walking around town, and I saw a couple people with stickers, and whatnot.

At 8/19/09 02:54 PM, Lost-Chances wrote:

At 8/19/09 01:14 PM, hhcash wrote: http://www.dayofsilence.org/index.cfm

Whoops, thought it was an event that's soon. I still wouldn't take part, I just lack the guts.

Pfft, grow some balls.