At 4/12/08 12:17 AM, Timex247 wrote: Hmmm... lets see.... im mess....
I have tried about 23 times to get a date. i'll ending in failed complexes, followed by a grudge that lasts for 2 weeks.

1) I am fat
2) some people think of me as wierd
3) I like the quiet, smart, pretty type of girl.
4) I have about a 5% chance.

How can you help me?

all i can do to help is say your not alone on the first three and hey 5% lucky you.

At 4/12/08 12:17 AM, Timex247 wrote: Hmmm... lets see.... im mess....
I have tried about 23 times to get a date. i'll ending in failed complexes, followed by a grudge that lasts for 2 weeks.

From what you've said i'm assuming your a girl?

1) I am fat

No your not, your beautiful

2) some people think of me as wierd

Everyone is different, just think about how you portray it to others.

3) I like the quiet, smart, pretty type of girl.

stop being quiet, be more outgoing, your smart, learn some fun things to talk about, and if your pretty then remember that.

4) I have about a 5% chance.

everyone has a %50 chance, yes or no,

How can you help me?

Like i said, I'm going off of this thinking your a girl, guys are more visual people, if you are kept clean, are well mannered, and sweet. Then guys will notice you positively, if you are dirty, slutty, and rude, guys will view you negatively.

From what you've said i'm assuming your a girl?

actually if you looked at his page you would notice hes a male.

He's not a girl darx ....
His profile says "Male" and he claims to LIKE the quite, smart, pretty type..
Nevermind...

Anyway... I'm sure your not that fat really. You have very low self esteem and that has a side effect of making you see your self as larger than you really are. Pic maybe?
Liking a certain type of girl is fine... But not everyone fits a stereotype.

As for the last point... I like the fact that really, you still know that you do have a chance, and you do, everyone does.

Work on your self esteem. It will work wonders for your everyday life and the way girls see you.

Good luck!

Some interesting stories here.

Perhaps I'll share one of these days.

So i met this girl we get along and everything we've kissed etc. (nothing too sexual) but i fine it can be awkward if we're talking on msn, when face to face we're fine. What do i do?
Can you PM the answer as i might forget about his in about 5 minutes.

hey guys, i kinda need some help. feelin kinda depressed cause, i wanna be in a meaningful relationship with somone i could love, but i just DONT see that happening for several reasons. i know im a little young to be worrying about not finding "the one" but i just doubt ill ever find her... i dunno, guess i just posted to share my anxiety about how im feelin. sry for wastin up space pn this topic.

At 4/12/08 08:52 PM, neighborofbeast667 wrote: but i just DONT see that happening for several reasons.

Elaborate plz.

So I just got back from the beach...

I'm sun burnt as hell, I hate how we always seem to forget the sun tan lotion, and its not even the cool whole body tan, its just like half of my face and my forearms. Anyways, well I was trying to get out there and start conversations with girls, but it just didn't seem to be like my day, I was able to open up a small conversation with Three HB10's, but it was short and sweet. I invited three groups of girls that were sunbathing to come over and play some cards with us, but they didn't want to... bummer...

To summarize, I love the beach, in my town, you get one cute girl for 6 ugly girls ( 1:6 ) but at the beach, its quite opposite, you get 6 hot girls for each ugly girl ( 6:1 !!! ) pretty fucking awesome...

Anyways, I was peacocking while we walked around the town, and it seemed to work quite well, I got a lot of attention for wearing a tie with my apparel. If I was to actually get involved into a few sets, it would have been great for conversation.

The main reason I wasn't able to game was because the day seemed to fast paced for me, I was running on nearly 3 hours of sleep, and I just wanted to relax. I didn't feel as confident as I should have, and the sunburn I was receiving made things even worse.

On a side note, I got an interview for hollywood video :D

At 4/12/08 08:52 PM, neighborofbeast667 wrote: hey guys, i kinda need some help. feelin kinda depressed cause, i wanna be in a meaningful relationship with somone i could love, but i just DONT see that happening for several reasons. i know im a little young to be worrying about not finding "the one" but i just doubt ill ever find her... i dunno, guess i just posted to share my anxiety about how im feelin. sry for wastin up space pn this topic.

Don't get depressed about this. If you think about it.. Nothing bad has happened here. As you say later, its anxiety that you are feeling.

Right first off. What are the several reasons?

And you will find someone! Honestly, everyone finds someone. It just happens. It seems to me that meaningful relationships can just happen whereas ones you go looking for seem less special (obviously there are exceptions though).

My advice is give up.. Stop looking. Stop getting hung up on it. Its affecting your health, so its not worth it. You will find someone, trust me. Until then, dont let it get to you and stop you enjoying your life!

hmm, thnx for the advice. here are som of the reasons.
1- im a metalhead. not many women dig that.
2- im considered weird at times.
3- im kinda scrawny. more smart than strong.
4- i live in nfld. most women my age here are either pot smokers, whores, and bitches. no joke.

At 4/13/08 04:06 PM, neighborofbeast667 wrote: hmm, thnx for the advice. here are som of the reasons.
1- im a metalhead. not many women dig that.

Ok.. For a start, I'm sure metal isnt the only thing you listen to. And even if it is, thats no restraint, I know many people who like metal and have girlfriends.

2- im considered weird at times.

Me too. It keeps the boredom away, don't it? :P

3- im kinda scrawny. more smart than strong.

Haha, yeah same! But again, not a hinderance in any way. I'm doing fine.

4- i live in nfld. most women my age here are either pot smokers, whores, and bitches. no joke.

I'll take your word for it. This is the only serious reason though and it's to do with YOUR preference. You dont want any of these girls and good for you!

Well for starters dude, I wouldn't emphasize on the fact that you're a metalhead. I mean its cool to have it as a music preference, but don't parading around about it.

Girls you should be looking at should be more interested in you than your clothes or music choices.

As for the scrawny thing, I feel 'ya bro. But push-ups in your downtime never hurt, or (assuming you're in High School) if you have a friend whose pretty chill and does weight training and/or has some equipment, might wanna train with him.

At 4/13/08 05:10 PM, JoeyNukes wrote: Well for starters dude, I wouldn't emphasize on the fact that you're a metalhead. I mean its cool to have it as a music preference, but don't parading around about it.

k, i wasnt emphasizing it (no, that list was not in order with most important startin first), i was just sayin that not many women like that.

At 4/13/08 04:06 PM, neighborofbeast667 wrote: hmm, thnx for the advice. here are som of the reasons.
1- im a metalhead. not many women dig that.

This is not a reason for not having success, this is a lousy excuse. It's all about who you are, being a metalhead is just an add-on. If you truly believe that this is something women care about, then the thought is what's keeping you back.

Let me ask you this: can you imagine a woman being attracted to a hobo with one eye, no teeth and no legs? I bet you're thinking this isn't possible, but this is the purest example of how little all of this has to do with looks. It's about making her feel attraction, which has nothing to do with being a metalhead, hobo, model, actor, rich guy, age, etc.

2- im considered weird at times.

Weird or unpredictable? If you mean weird as in stupid and people making fun of you, then it's a bad thing. If it's weird as in unpredictable yet not stupid, then it's ok. So please explain weird.

3- im kinda scrawny. more smart than strong.

Again, looks don't matter. It doesn't hurt to have muscles and be able to lift things, but it's not necessary. I myself go to a gym to gain some muscles, but the only reason I'm doing it is because it makes me feel better, not because of women.

Plus it's always better to be smart and gain muscle than being a fucking retard with muscles.

4- i live in nfld. most women my age here are either pot smokers, whores, and bitches. no joke.

Pot smokers and whores and I can believe, but bitches is often thought of too soon. How come you think of them as bitches? Is it the way you see them, or have you actually gone up to them and experienced first hand that they are?
A woman being a bitch is usually very normal and great to hang out with, it's just that they have to act like bitches to keep wussies away from them. Or to prevent from being perceived as a slut.

One general tip: stop coming up with reasons why you can't have success. Don't think of any of these things as restrictions because usually they aren't untill you perceive them as being so.

For once i actually agree with Vinciod. J/K bro. But anyways, I listen to death metal budy. You know the whole kill bodies and eat babies stuff. Girls really dont mind it. Besides the girls that go for that are kinky and wild...but you might not like that kinda stuff. I dont know you might. But either way how many mosh pits you been in? Can you hold you own? My brother is skinney as hell and he pulls tons of chicks at concerts and stuff. Hes been dating a girl he met there for the last year. I guess what im trying to say is take what you are and use it to your advantage. Even in nfld werever that is. there are girls there. your just looking at the wrong ones. I mean it sounds like your looking for advice on how to change who you are. When all you need to do, like everyone has already stated, is change your attitude twards yourself. do go by the general judgment of your surrounding inviroment. If your a pig and you stink and are just generaly dirty with complete dissregard for hygene, then yes you might want to invest in some water and soap. But other then that, your probably fine bro. stop worring and let it come to you.

At 4/14/08 06:25 AM, smth wrote: <wall of text>

and the whole 'letting it come to you thing' sounds kind of half heated to me , perhaps he could invest in some confidence?

At 4/14/08 08:51 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote:

At 4/14/08 06:25 AM, smth wrote: <wall of text>

and the whole 'letting it come to you thing' sounds kind of half heated to me , perhaps he could invest in some confidence?

Uhm, maybe you should have read carefully what smth said, because he said: " I mean it sounds like your looking for advice on how to change who you are. When all you need to do, like everyone has already stated, is change your attitude twards yourself."

Confidence is one of those things. Get rid of the insecurities about yourself and you'll get confident.

At 4/14/08 09:01 AM, Vincoid wrote:

At 4/14/08 08:51 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote:

At 4/14/08 06:25 AM, smth wrote: <wall of text>

and the whole 'letting it come to you thing' sounds kind of half heated to me , perhaps he could invest in some confidence?

Uhm, maybe you should have read carefully what smth said, because he said: " I mean it sounds like your looking for advice on how to change who you are. When all you need to do, like everyone has already stated, is change your attitude twards yourself."

Confidence is one of those things. Get rid of the insecurities about yourself and you'll get confident.

after lurking around this thread for a while , vincoid , I must ask , must you put your two cents in on everything in this thread?!?

911klin[ Profile | Posts | Contact ]
Reply To Post Reply & Quote Posted at: 4/13/08 09:36 PM
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Yah back in 4th grad i was a little jeark and of corse everyone disliked me, execpt for one girl named cortney, she was my best friend, but in 6th grade she moved and we lost each-other for 3 yrs but then one day she caled, after on and off talking about one year later we went out over the phone ( she liked like 50 miles away) i saw her 2 times well we were going out, and the first time i hugged her, the second, nothing at all. and like 4 month later shortly after V-day she broke up with me, she has famly problems, many jerk wad friends that she tryes to help a weard step-dad ( uses the pc 24-7), she misses her real dad realy bad ( he moved to K.N ( we live in N.Y (I in hillton she in Sodus))) and she added a job concling teens on sex and preg. So she said that she had to drop me because i was too much for her too handle along with all the rest of her life ( She would never tell me anythin so i would pry to find out if realy was allright, and all i found was that she was not, and she hated that i saw right through her.) and so she dumped me. Shortly after i dug arround and found out that she felt she loved the past me in 4th grade, but she never realy saw the real me, i know she would like me, but w/ her life and all, the kicker is we still talk, lots. I realy want her back and i want to help her with her life, to by her side, to let her know that there is one pearson in her life that truly gives a damm, but i dont know what to do,..... I feel so lame now that i lost her, any advice,... ( please dont be a jeark)

At 4/14/08 09:05 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote:

At 4/14/08 09:01 AM, Vincoid wrote:

At 4/14/08 08:51 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote:

At 4/14/08 06:25 AM, smth wrote: <wall of text>

and the whole 'letting it come to you thing' sounds kind of half heated to me , perhaps he could invest in some confidence?

Uhm, maybe you should have read carefully what smth said, because he said: " I mean it sounds like your looking for advice on how to change who you are. When all you need to do, like everyone has already stated, is change your attitude twards yourself."

Confidence is one of those things. Get rid of the insecurities about yourself and you'll get confident.

after lurking around this thread for a while , vincoid , I must ask , must you put your two cents in on everything in this thread?!?

Not at all. I believe I've actually been quite inactive lately, judging from the amount of posts I recently made.

And besides, even if I did, would it matter? It's not like you are forced to read it.

im just coruis, how bad does every think i screwed up in this story:
ok I have a bit (okay a big) anger issue towards the ppl in my school, so my friendship with this girl started out with her calming me down before i did somthing stupid, but then i really started to like her and then jessica (who i assumed at the time was my classmate jessica) txts me on daniel's phone, she says i should ask danny out but i txt her back askin here all kinds of questions and stuff about if this is real, etc. so i do ask her to go out over a txt and i get a txt back that say's she already has a bf, so then the next mornin i walk in the doors about to punch jessica (dont really care i she was a girl i was pissed to say the least) after talkin to danny i found out her sister (jessica) took her phone (or so she said) and txted me. i was pissed but eventually i forgot, about the text and our friendship, i said a few things to her i do regret, but heres where my question comes in, about a month later i got a txt from her sayin shed love to get together somtime, i still angry with her ignore it and save it as blackmail. so when i did not say yes how badly did i screw up?

If that's how you feel, you didn't screw up at all.

But it sounds to me like you regret not saying yes.

Did you say anything to her at all, or did you just ignore it?

At 4/14/08 10:06 AM, 911klin wrote: Stuff

Hmm... It sounds like the distance didnt do your relationship too much good.

What did you mean by "saw right through her"? Was she lying about the reason for dumping you? (dont mean to offend you but it sounded like that from the way you phrased it).

I think that you should just tell her exactly what you said. That you truely care about her and want to make sure that she is happy. Unfortunately, it sounds like the chances of a relationship have gone. But I am sure that she will not refuse to let you into her life if you offer her a good friendship.

At 4/14/08 09:01 AM, Vincoid wrote: Confidence is one of those things. Get rid of the insecurities about yourself and you'll get confident.

I wouldn't go as far to say "ditch 'em" but definatly hide 'em, or at least not talk about them until you're closer to whatever girl it is that you're going for.

Besides, insecurities can help you take care of yourself, cosmetic, social, and otherwise.

At 4/14/08 01:29 PM, mac2130 wrote: A lot.

I think it's pretty obvious that you screwed up, though in a different way than you might think.

The way you started that story, with that anger thing, that's your biggest problem. That's what caused you to screw up in the first place.

I myself used to be very aggresive and angry when I was younger. You know how much it did for me? Absolutely nothing. What it comes down to, is that I was a junky. I was addicted to the emotion of anger. And a lot of people are, but not just on anger, all sorts of emotions. And, as a lot of things in life, it's an unconscious habit.

A while back I wrote a part about personal boundaries. Anger is one of those things that are considered to be a hole in your boundary. You'll often find that you'll blame others for annoying you, or doing something you don't like, while all that's happening is that you let people cross your boundary.

So, my advice is to get rid of the anger, because if you really think about it, there is no reason to be angry at all, it only makes things worse.

Also, don't judge too soon. You easily couldv'e avoided the last part of your story by not caring. You're making a big deal out of things that shouldn't matter to you.

At 4/14/08 09:28 PM, JoeyNukes wrote:

At 4/14/08 09:01 AM, Vincoid wrote: Confidence is one of those things. Get rid of the insecurities about yourself and you'll get confident.

I wouldn't go as far to say "ditch 'em" but definatly hide 'em, or at least not talk about them until you're closer to whatever girl it is that you're going for.

How is it better to have insecurities than to feel confident? How is it better to hide your insecurities, and basicly not be yourself, than to feel confident and always be yourself? And why the hell would you even talk about insecurities with a girl? You're better off castrating yourself before you allow them to do so.

Besides, insecurities can help you take care of yourself, cosmetic, social, and otherwise.

Interesting. Take a look at this:

Insecurity about hygiene/cosmetics -> does something about it -> insecurity is gone -> feels confident.

Or what about this one:

Insecurity about socializing -> starts socializing -> notes that he's accepted/not shot down/etc. -> loses insecurity -> feels confident.

That's the only way in which they are helpful. They can motivate you to change it. But as you can see, after you've changed what you're insecure about, the insecurity makes place for confidence.
Confidence is the lack of insecurity. You can't fake confidence when you're still insecure. Nor should you want to because women will always notice.

Basicly, I agree with them being helpful to provoke change. But other than that they're useless. Because as long as you're hiding your insecurities, you're still insecure.

At 4/14/08 01:29 PM, mac2130 wrote: im just coruis, how bad does every think i screwed up in this story:

holy shit bro. not saying yes is the least of your problems. you were going to go do what. For one if you ever hit a girl you deserve to get your ass beat. I absolutly hate, and by hate i really mean hate, men who hit women. Not only is it wrong in so many ways but what does that say about you. The fact that you say you dont care means your going to grow up into one of those wife beaters who mentaly and physically abuse your spouse. you should find help for you anger befor it becomes a problem. you focus shouldnt be on girls right now. especialy if your so willing to hurt one of them. your focus needs to be on some counciling. maybe some therapy to take care of this aparent hate twards everyone. because if you continue on the path your on you will lead a lonley life alone. or in jail from beating your wife half to death because she forgot to vacuum the grass.

At 4/14/08 10:06 AM, 911klin wrote:

on a lighter note then my last post. im sorry guys but after reading that i got really worked. you dont hurt those your supposed to protect. But anyways, 911, its sounds to me like she really is going threw some hard times. If you really do have true fealings for her, then dont press the matter. All you need to do is be there for her a listen. She will appreciate that more then if you tell her you want to fix everything for her. Be that shoulder to cry on bro and let her seek you as her comfert. When things smooth out with or without your help then most likly you two can start it all again. But you need to respect her wishes right now and let her deal. Sometimes girls just need to be independant. Girls have this need sometimes to handel things on there own because they want to prove that they dont need anybody to hold there hand. its true in guys too. But this kind of situation is painfull so just be there for her.

At 4/15/08 06:28 AM, smth wrote:

At 4/14/08 10:06 AM, 911klin wrote:

on a lighter note then my last post. im sorry guys but after reading that i got really worked. you dont hurt those your supposed to protect. But anyways, 911, its sounds to me like she really is going threw some hard times. If you really do have true fealings for her, then dont press the matter. All you need to do is be there for her a listen. She will appreciate that more then if you tell her you want to fix everything for her. Be that shoulder to cry on bro and let her seek you as her comfert. When things smooth out with or without your help then most likly you two can start it all again. But you need to respect her wishes right now and let her deal. Sometimes girls just need to be independant. Girls have this need sometimes to handel things on there own because they want to prove that they dont need anybody to hold there hand. its true in guys too. But this kind of situation is painfull so just be there for her.

I totally agree with you here smth, well said.

One thing I wanted to add/comment on though: Being the shoulder to cry on isn't a bad thing, but usually, when you're not her bf, you'll end up in the friendship zone if you are. My suggestion is that you leave being the shoulder to her girlfriends, and instead become that one person whom she can have fun with, where she can forget all here trouble and just enjoy your presence.
And if you choose to become that person, then remember one important thing: have fun only. Never go into heavy emotional conversation involving her problems. Better yet, keep away from any problem talk at all.

Also, some things smth said in his post are very important when it comes to dating, etc.:
- Don't try to fix her problems. Allow her to fix it herself, it'll help her grow up and mature.
One exception to this one is if she asks you for help without being emotional, then it's best to give advice instead of doing nothing.
- Encourage independance. Pretty much the same as previous point except that it shows her that you're not needy.
- Don't push. Everytime you get in a situation where you try something and she resists, immediately back off, give her space, take a step back and try again. Never push against resistance, it'll drive her away from you (or it'll get you in jail for sexual harassment or rape in extreme cases).

good. point. the only reason i stated that he should be the shoulder was so the trust builds. if she can trust him to be there for her and to talk to him then the relashonship will grow into something more. only for the reason that he is the one person she can go talk to because she knows he will always be there for her. so ya it may start as a friendship but it will also grow to more then that. and you can do both at the same time. once shes done crying or expressing herself you take her to go do something or suggest some kind of event/date to take her to to take her mind off it for a little bit. something fun to take her away from the pain shes dealing with.