At 3/9/08 04:33 PM, thegreatmorph wrote:
At 3/9/08 01:57 PM, Vincoid wrote:
Haha, you've just found one of the exceptions to the rule. You see, when you're dealing with a very challenging girl, one that is very hard to get unless you know what you're doing, not appologizing is best in a situation like this. In fact, busting her balls about it and teasing her would do best for building attraction.
Well, generaly looking at my dating record, I seem to go for shy girls. Girls who seem outgoing and bubbly just make me feel intimidated. I think mainly though that I have far too high a standards, even from a gook-looking persons point of view, which of course being on newgrounds, show's I'm not.
No offence to you good-looking guys anyway.
Lol. Though I believe there really is no such thing as too high a standards. High standards are very good, women like it when you know exactly what you want. And besides that, it's great to tease them about not living up to your expectations, making them work harder :P
However, in this case you're dealing with a very shy girl. And shy girls are totally different. While teasing and busting balls will break through the defence of a challeging girl, it will make the shy girl run. With shy girls, it's best to take it easy.
Well, easy, or slowly? I personally think both kinda mean the same thing but I suppose you could be quite ferocious while still taking it slowly. But with this girl, I feel as though one wrong move and it's practically gone. If something slips about anything, due to my lack of a normal sense of humour, I'll be up the creek.
Telling a 'high-maintance' party girl that she's not as hot as she thinks, and there is practically no chance of her suceeding with you, can get them to work very hard to get you, it won't work with a shy girl.
I tend to constantly tease girls and bust their balls, unless they're very shy. You see, when a girl is very challenging and she knows she's hot, she won't believe what you're saying when you tell her she can't have you. Shy girls, on the other hand, tend to get very insecure when you tell them things like that. If you want a shy girl to try to get with you, you're fighting a losing game if you go cocky on her. They tend to do better when you're confident but have normal conversations with them. Tease them only a little.
Though you still shouldn't behave like a wussy with her, that'll makes every girl run. I'd say nice job so far and good job. Though you might want to work on that nervousness a bit. There is no need for it, and in fact, if you relax, so will she, making it much more easier to have a normal conversation.
Well, that's probably my downfall in the first place. I'm a completely natural wuss. I thank you for your advice though, it all helps with everything, from my confidence to my worries about how this all might pan out.
No problem man. I was a big wussy too in the past. Only now, when I look back at it, I see what I did wrong all the time. But the fact that you can see that you're being wussy is likely to change quite a bit in you. What is important though is that you have to try new things. You can read in this topic what my opinion is, but you won't actually learn anything if you don't give it a try ;)
And just so you know, from what you've told us here, you're not that big of a wuss.
Keep it up and please keep us informed on how things go ;)
I shall share with you all :D
Like I said before, I'll make sure that I keep you all updated, you nosy bunch :D
Yes, your personal life belongs to us now!
At 3/9/08 08:25 PM, 749-Pi wrote:
Theres this girl I dated, who wasn't for me. She's way too polar opposite, and we stopped seeing eachother. a month or two later, we went out again. Same occurance. She started dating this OTHER guy, and they just broke up, and now I'm interested again.
What the fuck is wrong with me. why do I want what I can't have. I destroy girls with this terrible On-Off stuff I do to myself and them.
It's called the Meta-frame, or prizability. We as human have a natural attraction towards anything that is either out of our reach, or is being wanted by others. That's why making yourself popular with women will exponantionally increase your succes with them.
What you need to do is start to recognize it. Everytime you feel any interest for a girl, ask yourself why it is you feel interested. Is it because of her looks, because of her personality, or is it because other show interest? If you can recognize it, you can suppress it.
But like you said right at the beginning, she wasn't for you. If you realize this, why did you date her again? In the hope of it getting somewhere? Hope that she had changed? Or was it because others had shown interest, making you feel like there should be something about her that attracted you, but you simply hadn't found it yet?
Let me give you the steps of what I do when I meet a girl:
- First thing I do is look at her looks. They're the first thing I'll notice, and if it doesn't match my criteria, I won't date her.
- If the looks are in order, I step up to her to have a conversation. I tease her and try to find out what kind of girl she is. Shy, outgoing, etc. If this matches my criteria, I'll ask for email and her number. If not, she might make a good friend (unless it's way under my criteria of course).
- I hang out with her, trying to see everything that's attractive about her, finding out exactly how she is. If I like all of that, I'll get her to feel attracted to me. It's only after this step, when I know how she is and if it's what I want from a girl, that I'll feel attraction for her. I never feel huge amounts of attraction for a girl untill this point because I know that it'll be a waste of energy if she isn't what I thought she was.
Most guys feel attraction in front, experiencing huge amounts of loss of energy when nothing happens. But being able to control your attraction, will make you become way more effecient at using your energy, as will it make you more attractive. That includes the girls you really want.
