At 10/30/13 12:11 PM, ChickenTenders wrote:

At 10/30/13 11:37 AM, elitegamer11 wrote:

I wish Halloween was already here.

Halloween is here so you cant wish for that. i wish for infinity £'s

Granted but nobody knows what that is cause it's fucking weird and America rules, cheeseburgers, rap music, rock and roll, strip clubs. Suck it.

I wish I had nunchucks made of diamond.

Granted, but you spin it too fast and slice your throat open. Then you bleed to death and a hobo steals the nunchucks off your convulsing dead body.

I wish for a piece of plywood.

At 10/30/13 12:18 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 10/30/13 12:16 PM, Farscape123 wrote:

I wish for a piece of plywood.

Damn you and your plywood! I had it but I implanted it in your face!

I wish for that piece of plywood to remain stuck in your forehead!

Granted, but I whip my head back and worth and implant the other end of the plywood in your chest. Now we're stuck together with a piece of plywood.

I wish for a wooden shoe.

At 10/30/13 12:29 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 10/30/13 12:20 PM, Farscape123 wrote:

I wish for a wooden shoe.

Granted, it has termites but they don't like the plywood I gave you.

I wish for a pair of hatchets!

Granted, but the hatchet is constructed badly and you wind up with the medal part stuck in your foot when you swing it too hard.

I wish for more climate change.

At 10/30/13 12:42 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 10/30/13 12:32 PM, Farscape123 wrote:

I wish for more climate change.

Granted, you become a mail order one night stand being sold to countless men across the world while I get to watch. We've gone from hot to cold to high and low from desert to tropical paradise... now if you don't mind I need to cut through this plywood!

I wish for Skittles...

Granted you have skittles... you're an idiot that wasted your wish on skittles. Peter Griffin looks at you in awe.

I wish I hosted Snl

At 10/30/13 01:02 PM, Slacker013 wrote:
Granted, but SNL is canceled before you ever got to do anything.

I wish, this is all your fault!

Granted, I banged your mother.

I wish she didn't give me the herps.

At 10/30/13 01:09 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 10/30/13 01:04 PM, ChickenTenders wrote:

I wish she didn't give me the herps.

Granted, your father gave you the herps...

I wish for one of those giant earth worms from Tremors as a pet...

Granted, it's fake. because they were props.

I wish I was a sociopath.

At 10/30/13 01:09 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 10/30/13 01:04 PM, ChickenTenders wrote:

I wish she didn't give me the herps.

Granted, your father gave you the herps...

I wish for one of those giant earth worms from Tremors as a pet...

Granted, it eats you alive.

I wish I could think of something to write here.

At 10/30/13 01:17 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 10/30/13 01:09 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 10/30/13 01:04 PM, ChickenTenders wrote:

I wish she didn't give me the herps.

Granted, your father gave you the herps...

I wish for one of those giant earth worms from Tremors as a pet...

Granted, it eats you alive.

I wish I could think of something to write here.

Granted, the rest of your life you wish you could have posted your amazing idea here to prove your wit.

I wish for eternal paranoia

At 10/30/13 01:23 PM, ChickenTenders wrote:

At 10/30/13 01:17 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 10/30/13 01:09 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 10/30/13 01:04 PM, ChickenTenders wrote:

I wish she didn't give me the herps.

Granted, your father gave you the herps...

I wish for one of those giant earth worms from Tremors as a pet...

Granted, it eats you alive.

I wish I could think of something to write here.

Granted, the rest of your life you wish you could have posted your amazing idea here to prove your wit.

I wish for eternal paranoia

Granted...? You now spend the rest of your life in paranoia. You'll realize what shit you wished for soon enough.

I wish for eternal happiness.

At 10/30/13 01:51 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted...? You now spend the rest of your life in paranoia. You'll realize what shit you wished for soon enough.

I wish for eternal happiness.

Granted, some dude with eternal paranoia kills you because he's paranoid your happiness means embarrassment to him. weird.

I wish I didn't love killing so much.

At 10/30/13 02:36 PM, Vinnyy wrote: Granted, but you now love painfully cutting yourself with razor-sharp scissors.
I wish to meet an NGer in real life.

Should have bothered?
I wish to kiss the user below. (In the cheeks)

At 10/30/13 02:42 PM, TowelMarket wrote:

At 10/30/13 02:36 PM, Vinnyy wrote: Granted, but you now love painfully cutting yourself with razor-sharp scissors.
I wish to meet an NGer in real life.

Should have bothered?
I wish to kiss the user below. (In the cheeks)

You may kiss me in the butt cheeks

I wish for everyone to be turned into cat

At 10/30/13 03:01 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 10/30/13 02:59 PM, KingWin wrote:

I wish for everyone to be turned into cat

Granted, I jumped over you and stopped your wish from happening! You become a cat...

Same wish...

Granted, mice were turned into humans and have decided cats are the best animals to conduct tests on now.

i wish for an arcade racer game

At 10/30/13 03:45 PM, ChickenTenders wrote:

At 10/30/13 03:01 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 10/30/13 02:59 PM, KingWin wrote:

I wish for everyone to be turned into cat

Granted, I jumped over you and stopped your wish from happening! You become a cat...

Same wish...

Granted, mice were turned into humans and have decided cats are the best animals to conduct tests on now.

i wish for an arcade racer game

It turns into a linear action platformer
I wish for 1milion cats in a huge bag

At 10/30/13 03:59 PM, KingWin wrote:

At 10/30/13 03:01 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

It turns into a linear action platformer
I wish for 1milion cats in a huge bag

Granted. The bag falls on your head, slowly crushing you into paste.

I wish for beans.

At 10/30/13 06:57 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 10/30/13 05:32 PM, Tiggargh wrote:

At 10/30/13 03:59 PM, KingWin wrote:

At 10/30/13 03:01 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

It turns into a linear action platformer
I wish for 1milion cats in a huge bag

Granted. The bag falls on your head, slowly crushing you into paste.

I wish for beans.

Granted, but they're stale.

I wish I could do something useful and unharmful.

Granted, you're employed to massage hobo's feet.

I wish my food was never shat in

At 10/30/13 07:26 PM, ChickenTenders wrote: I wish my food was never shat in

Granted, now it's pissed in.

I wish for a free lifetime supply of beer.

At 10/31/13 10:52 AM, Jojo55 wrote:

At 10/31/13 08:32 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for a free lifetime supply of beer.

You drive drunk off a bridge, exploding into a massive fireball as you strike an orphanage.

I wish for happiness and sunshine!

The sun gets blown up by happiness and everyone dies

i wish for 1 cat to turn into a super cat and save everyone

At 10/31/13 10:56 AM, KingWin wrote:

At 10/31/13 10:52 AM, Jojo55 wrote:

At 10/31/13 08:32 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for a free lifetime supply of beer.

You drive drunk off a bridge, exploding into a massive fireball as you strike an orphanage.

I wish for happiness and sunshine!

The sun gets blown up by happiness and everyone dies

i wish for 1 cat to turn into a super cat and save everyone

Granted, you figure out you're not a cat when the super cat turns bad and kills your family and rapes you in the arse.

I wish for a mouse to control life like a computer.

At 11/1/13 01:23 AM, ChickenTenders wrote: I wish for a mouse to control life like a computer.

Granted, but you're not the one operating it.

I wish to know the question whose answer is 42.

At 11/2/13 10:45 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 11/1/13 01:23 AM, ChickenTenders wrote: I wish for a mouse to control life like a computer.

Granted, but you're not the one operating it.

I wish to know the question whose answer is 42.

Granted, but nobody will ever get your reference.

I wish for an office mug that says "That's Miss Boss Lady to you."

At 11/2/13 10:54 PM, ChickenTenders wrote: I wish for an office mug that says "That's Miss Boss Lady to you."

Granted, but no one cares.

I wish for Thor's hammer.

At 11/3/13 10:25 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for Thor's hammer.

Granted, but you can't use it. Seriously, you don't know you have to be pure of heart or something to use that?

I wish my brother stopped seeing double.

At 11/3/13 10:38 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 11/3/13 10:25 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for Thor's hammer.

Granted, but you can't use it. Seriously, you don't know you have to be pure of heart or something to use that?

I wish my brother stopped seeing double.

Granted, now he sees triple.

I wish alcohol had no effects on me.

At 11/3/13 01:24 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 11/3/13 10:47 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 11/3/13 10:38 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 11/3/13 10:25 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for Thor's hammer.

Granted, but you can't use it. Seriously, you don't know you have to be pure of heart or something to use that?

I wish my brother stopped seeing double.

Granted, now he sees triple.

I wish alcohol had no effects on me.

Granted, but now everything else, including oxygen, has an effect on you, and they're all negative effects.

I wish I could meet you in real life and see what you're like.

Granted, you find out I look like the Scream guy, except I don't have to wear a mask.

I wish I was a ghost killing people.

At 11/3/13 01:40 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

Granted, you find out I look like the Scream guy, except I don't have to wear a mask.

I wish I was a ghost killing people.

Granted. In order to do that though, you have to die a horrible death in order to not fully pass on, and even then, youre only killing people half the time because youre bound to a specific location per the rules of being a ghost, and not many people visit your location due to it being in the middle of nowhere

I wish computers didnt crash and die

At 11/3/13 01:40 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was a ghost killing people.

Granted you are a tribe of people who kill ghosts. Unfortunately the way of life of your people is being marginalized and culturally assimilated to the point of non-use. The spirits you haunted and alienated have gone into hiding, realizing that if your people forgot their rituals, exorcisms and ghost hunting ways that they can come back in full force to destroy what's left of you and then torment humanity unscathed.

I wish I could just give up.

At 11/3/13 03:20 PM, NeverHundred wrote:

At 11/3/13 01:40 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was a ghost killing people.

Granted you are a tribe of people who kill ghosts. Unfortunately the way of life of your people is being marginalized and culturally assimilated to the point of non-use. The spirits you haunted and alienated have gone into hiding, realizing that if your people forgot their rituals, exorcisms and ghost hunting ways that they can come back in full force to destroy what's left of you and then torment humanity unscathed.

I wish I could just give up.

granted but to do so you must put all your effort into it which would kill the point of it and you
i wish i had a burrito
:D

At 11/3/13 03:32 PM, zuzing1 wrote: i wish i had a burrito

D

Granted. I steal it from you and eat it.

I wish for chocolate pie

At 11/3/13 05:05 PM, Protoman1337 wrote:

At 11/3/13 03:32 PM, zuzing1 wrote: i wish i had a burrito

D

Granted. I steal it from you and eat it.

I wish for chocolate pie

Granted, it's made of your stomach, you're made of chocolate now, you're a chocolate pie, you have no personality, a chocolate pie just wished for you, it received you and you were made of human, because the chocolate pie was human, and then it ate you, and it became a chocolate pie made of chocolate pie.

I wish I could comprehend the concept of death