At 3/10/15 10:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for ZeroAsALimit's post count.

Granted, but then after making one more post, the post counter (that has limited capacity) make a full circle and you end up with zero post count.

I wish super blings of diamond and gold would actually do something fantastic (like making a force field, or perhaps even transform into airplanes) instead of just existing on someone's neck and nothing else (yup, again with that piece of shit, picrelated)

At 3/10/15 11:07 AM, SentForMe wrote:

At 3/10/15 10:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 3/9/15 05:06 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 3/9/15 04:36 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:
I wish that all trees became a lot more smellier.

Granted, but you get to smell every single tree in the world at the same time.

I wish people would stop thinking their stats here matter.

Granted, this place dies a death.

I wish for ZeroAsALimit's post count.

Granted, but you also you are aged by the amount of years that ZeroAsALimit has been a member of Newgrounds. Enjoy being 11 years older!

I wish I had photographic memory.

Granted, but your doctor has crappy vision and he can barely read, so you get pornographic vision instead.

I wish it was legal to kill ghosts

At 3/10/15 11:05 AM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish super blings of diamond and gold would actually do something fantastic (like making a force field, or perhaps even transform into airplanes) instead of just existing on someone's neck and nothing else (yup, again with that piece of shit, picrelated)

Granted, now they blow up.

At 3/10/15 11:10 AM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish it was legal to kill ghosts

Granted, but you still can't kill what's already dead.

I wish for pornographic vision.

At 3/10/15 11:32 AM, AquaWatermelons wrote: I wish I could speak every language possible

Granted, you now annoy the fuck out of everyone as they all understand you.

I wish for this shit to finally work.

At 3/10/15 11:39 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for this shit to finally work.

Granted. The shit in question is you and you suddenly sweated out some hard labor for one week straight without sleeping.

I wish your refrigerator was on fire.

At 3/10/15 06:12 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish your refrigerator was on fire.

Granted, but you've randomly taken up making cocktails as a hobby. You put your Magnum Opus (and it's not just a name for a cocktail) into his fridge, since your have been taken over by stickmen. And hours later, you look at shards that used to be glasses with your stuff in them.

I wish Facade game had weapons

At 3/10/15 06:30 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:

At 3/10/15 06:12 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish your refrigerator was on fire.

Granted, but you've randomly taken up making cocktails as a hobby. You put your Magnum Opus (and it's not just a name for a cocktail) into his fridge, since your have been taken over by stickmen. And hours later, you look at shards that used to be glasses with your stuff in them.

I wish Facade game had weapons

Granted, but now you suck at the game

I wish that my friends would stop sleeping more than 17 hours a day

At 3/10/15 06:38 PM, Aliendude2 wrote: I wish that my friends would stop sleeping more than 17 hours a day

Granted; Now they sleep EXACTLY 17 hours a day, and they are only awake when you're asleep.

I wish Plankton and Mr. Krabs had stripclubs instead of restaurants

At 3/10/15 06:56 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish I had a pet Iguana.

Granted, but it's an invisible iguana.

I wish every snowman was sentient.

At 3/10/15 10:25 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish every snowman was sentient.

Granted. That doesn't cancel out the hell they experience if they're outside of the cold areas of Earth. Most snowmen go through extremely painful process of melting, and most of the survivors have to be chopped into small pieces just to fit into regular freezers that act as an alternative to the overcrowded freezers in stores and restaurants. And it happens each and every single year.

I wish to try some applejack (the drink, dammit)

@TheGamechanger The shit that I wanted to work was the post you responded to. It took me 3 attempts, I shit you not.

At 3/11/15 10:54 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I had flippers that could expand out of my feet when I wanted to swim.

Granted, but they never work when you want them to.

I wish the Babel fish was a thing.

At 3/11/15 11:28 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish the Babel fish was a thing.

Granted, but you're allergic to it

I wish I knew what a Babel fish is

At 3/11/15 11:44 AM, Gremlin wrote:

At 3/11/15 11:28 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish the Babel fish was a thing.

Granted, but you're allergic to it

I wish I knew what a Babel fish is

Granted. Go read the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

I wish for you to like it.

At 3/11/15 11:51 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for you to like it.

Granted, but I'm too lazy to learn about it, so I will just lie, this information will haunt you forever

I wish for a new pet

At 3/11/15 11:58 AM, Gremlin wrote:

At 3/11/15 11:51 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for you to like it.

Granted, but I'm too lazy to learn about it, so I will just lie, this information will haunt you forever

I wish for a new pet

Granted, it's a poisonous snake and it bites you.

I wish I wasn't allergic to cats.

At 3/11/15 12:02 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I wasn't allergic to cats.

Granted, you'll lose your allergy for cats, but turns out that you're now allergic to everything else

I wish I had the patience to learn to play guitar

At 3/11/15 12:07 PM, Gremlin wrote:

At 3/11/15 12:02 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I wasn't allergic to cats.

Granted, you'll lose your allergy for cats, but turns out that you're now allergic to everything else

I wish I had the patience to learn to play guitar

Granted, but afterwards you smash your guitar and you can't afford another one.

I wish the feed worked.

At 3/11/15 12:09 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish the feed worked.

Granted. Chicken feed can now apply for jobs and as a result there's mass unemployment for all humans since chicken feed don't need to eat or sleep.

I wish all snowmen were sentient and have human rights and were subject to the laws of human rights, so if they melted on a person's property, then the person in question would be arrest for murder/manslaughter.

At 3/11/15 08:11 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish all snowmen were sentient and have human rights and were subject to the laws of human rights, so if they melted on a person's property, then the person in question would be arrest for murder/manslaughter.

Granted, but since there's no real way around the snowman eventually melting, all the snowman deaths are ruled suicides.

I wish the Gamechanger's wishes were less weird.

At 3/12/15 11:41 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish the Gamechanger's wishes were less weird.

Granted, now they're so mundane that a stereotypical office job is Star Wars compared to them.

I wish I was finally able to steal from Derpy's Muffin Vault.

At 3/12/15 12:36 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:

At 3/12/15 11:41 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish the Gamechanger's wishes were less weird.

Granted, now they're so mundane that a stereotypical office job is Star Wars compared to them.

I wish I was finally able to steal from Derpy's Muffin Vault.

Granted, but you are caught.

I wish I could go invisible at will.

At 3/12/15 02:19 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I could go invisible at will.

Granted. However, since eyes are invisible as well, your vision becomes impaired and you fall off a cliff, killing you instantly.

I wish that motorcycles were banned worldwide.

At 3/14/15 04:41 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/12/15 02:19 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I could go invisible at will.

Granted. However, since eyes are invisible as well, your vision becomes impaired and you fall off a cliff, killing you instantly.

I wish that motorcycles were banned worldwide.

Granted, that wish makes you the #1 target of the Hell's Angels.

I wish I had a motorcycle, that I could actually ride without causing an accident.

No I will not corrupt the dream

same

At 3/14/15 01:33 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I had a motorcycle, that I could actually ride without causing an accident.

Granted. But at a stop sign, a Neo Nazi shoots you because you don't look quite right.

I wish I had a winning lottery ticket that I purchased legally and guessed the right numbers on my own.

At 3/14/15 08:39 PM, someaveragechap wrote:

At 3/14/15 01:33 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I had a motorcycle, that I could actually ride without causing an accident.

Granted. But at a stop sign, a Neo Nazi shoots you because you don't look quite right.

I wish I had a winning lottery ticket that I purchased legally and guessed the right numbers on my own.

Granted, but the lottery guys ran out of dollars so you get the amount of prize money in Justin Bieber CD's. And only because the jackpot itself is very small this year, fortunately, you are able to fit ALL of the CD's in your basement after you take the table, bed, minifridge, the prized Fedora Collection 2013, Rainbow Dash dakimakura, cheeto dust, fake Michael Jackson Fleshlight, Sanic posters AND the lamp on the ceiling that was illumintaing that crap out of the basement.

I wish Newgrounds was all about Yaoi

At 3/14/15 09:43 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Newgrounds was all about Yaoi

Granted. Newgrounds is now a gay porn site.

I wish that all sports programs were cancelled.

At 3/15/15 01:20 AM, 24901miles wrote:
I wish I had $200 in cash, no strings attached, right now.

Granted. However, the money i now useless thanks to a change in economies, resulting a "trade personal possessions to get another possession" economy.

I wish that the user below was three times fatter.

At 3/15/15 02:41 AM, 24901miles wrote:
I wish TheGamechanger were attacked by a rabid orca whale.

Granted. I avoid its attacks and then I tame it, and then I send it over to attack you.

I wish that all beer was sentient.