At 2/22/14 02:09 PM, Holon wrote: I wish for a live-size Oshawott costume.

Granted, you look ridiculous.

I wish not to look ridiculous.

At 2/22/14 02:12 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 2/22/14 02:09 PM, Holon wrote: I wish for a live-size Oshawott costume.

Granted, you look ridiculous.

I wish not to look ridiculous.

That's beyond the limitations of modern science and plastic surgery.

I wish bacon was healthy and full of nutrients but still has all its juicy flavor.

At 2/22/14 02:48 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

I wish I could eat anything I want and not have any health consequences from it.

Granted, you are young so you should be fine.

I wish for everyone to get aids.

At 2/22/14 04:21 PM, SolXeroEraser wrote:

I wish I wasnt born.

Wish granted, however, never being born means your father's sperm was contained inside his urethra like cement causing a serious urinary track infection ultimately resulting in the humiliating death of your father.

I wish I had infinite wishes to wish upon.

At 2/22/14 04:32 PM, nonono1 wrote: I wish I had infinite wishes to wish upon.

Granted. However, they all are the same wish.

Touché

I wish for a fish that fishes for a wish

Granted, the fish tries to jump onto dry land to go fishing but suffocates in the process

At 2/22/14 06:18 PM, Protoman1337 wrote: I wish nonono1 actually wished for something.

He does, but it's something that's already negative, so you can't make it worse.

I wish I had the most game reviews on this website (which I actually probably will).

At 2/23/14 09:36 AM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 2/23/14 09:21 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 2/22/14 06:18 PM, Protoman1337 wrote: I wish nonono1 actually wished for something.

He does, but it's something that's already negative, so you can't make it worse.

I wish I had the most game reviews on this website (which I actually probably will).

Granted, but no one cares.

I wish people cared about stats.

Granted, everyone is a statwhore and the site loses quality.

I wish for less statwhores.

At 2/23/14 07:17 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

I wish for some ice cream cake all to myself.

Granted. It's an erotic cake with a naked guy on it.

I wish I could talk to dragons.

At 2/23/14 07:20 PM, stafffighter wrote:

Granted. It's an erotic cake with a naked guy on it.

I wish I could talk to dragons.

Granted, But the dragon tells you that he has sexual feelings for you
I wish i could alter gravity

At 2/23/14 07:40 PM, Protoman1337 wrote:

I wish I had a Barret M107 on me right now.

Granted. When you test the sights next to your window a police offer happens to be walking by and takes it the wrong way.

I wish I was a monk.

At 2/23/14 09:08 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 2/23/14 07:40 PM, Protoman1337 wrote:

I wish I had a Barret M107 on me right now.

Granted. When you test the sights next to your window a police offer happens to be walking by and takes it the wrong way.

I wish I was a monk.

Granted. Now you're around super-religious people all the time and soon you realize how annoying that is.

I wish religious people were less annoying.

At 2/24/14 10:51 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted. Now you're around super-religious people all the time and soon you realize how annoying that is.

I wish religious people were less annoying.

Granted, atheists around the world come to your door step every morning to thank you for making the religious followers less annoying.
I wish everything I touched turned into a clone of myself.

At 2/25/14 08:15 AM, Protoman1337 wrote: I wish for some more Pokemon cards.

Granted, but you lose your interest in Pokemon.

I wish I knew which wish to post.

At 2/25/14 10:18 AM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 2/25/14 09:12 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 2/25/14 08:15 AM, Protoman1337 wrote: I wish for some more Pokemon cards.

Granted, but you lose your interest in Pokemon.

I wish I knew which wish to post.

Granted. You wish for your own death, which comes true.

I wish for something.

Granted, you get shit.

I wish for nothing.

At 2/25/14 12:26 PM, SolXeroEraser wrote: I wish for world peace.

Granted, you're the last one killed.

I wish to be the one who kills you.

At 2/25/14 12:43 PM, Slacker013 wrote:
Granted, but I get to run you over afterwards. Feet first with a Leopard 2 Main Battle Tank, should be a slow agonizing death or a quick POP!

I wish there was a theme park that was so... girly... your dick just shrivels up when you walk through the gates.

Granted. But you're required to wear pink the entire day in high heels.

I wish for Pizza.

At 2/25/14 03:05 PM, SolXeroEraser wrote:

I wish for grand piano abilities.

Granted. You have the ability to become a grand piano at will. Wherever a douche needs to show off off at a party you will be there to have "closing time" played on you.

I wish for the ability to play any piano that isn't secretly a person who turned into a piano.

At 2/25/14 05:18 PM, stafffighter wrote:

I wish for the ability to play any piano that isn't secretly a person who turned into a piano.

Granted. You have the ability to play a piano that isn't secretly a person turned into a piano but after playing a melody that captivates millions you yourself turn into piano.

I wish for a golden egg

At 2/25/14 07:37 PM, Protoman1337 wrote:
I wish HK Mobs had a higher score.

Granted HK Mobs becomes the top rated flash on NG, as a result people stop visiting Newgrounds inevitably causing NG to shut down, without Newgrounds hundreds of misanthropes have no place to vent their frustration, they eventually take to the streets starting riots world wide, eventually the various governments of the world fall to the basement dwelling hoards and the world is thrown into a new dark age.

IK wish a had a nickle for every time I heard someone say "If I had a nickle.."

At 2/25/14 08:16 PM, Knis wrote:
IK wish a had a nickle for every time I heard someone say "If I had a nickle.."

Granted. I put them all in a sock and whack you with it.

I wish for a huge tv.

At 2/25/14 05:22 PM, SolXeroEraser wrote: I wish for stability within the storm.

Granted. There will be a storm, and everyone will have stability except for you.

At 2/25/14 09:57 PM, Ketamine4Life wrote: I wish for Thomas More wishes.

Granted, a random person by that name wishes you dead, which comes true.

I wish to get a birthday thread this Friday.

At 2/26/14 10:10 AM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 2/26/14 10:03 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish to get a birthday thread this Friday.

Granted, but the thread will be made by me (BTW, your birthday is in the same month as mine).

I wish school lunches didn't taste like shit.

Granted, now they taste like vomit.

I wish school lunches tasted good.

At 2/26/14 03:28 PM, SolXeroEraser wrote:
Granted, here's your diploma.

I wish for a nice fat sandwich, from a nice fat girlfriend.
Head, please.

Granted. She weighs 500 pounds and gives you herpes, among other STDs. Oh, and she's also a biter. And she doesn't brush her teeth.

I wish I had a bulb for my lamp.

At 2/26/14 03:54 PM, cheezz wrote: I wish I had a bulb for my lamp.

Granted, you get a broken bulb.

I wish for light.

At 2/27/14 04:53 PM, Protoman1337 wrote:
I wish there was some other thread in General that I actually wanted to post in.

Granted, but they are all locked.

I wish I could come up with a wish...

At 2/28/14 12:01 PM, Brindle wrote:

At 2/27/14 04:53 PM, Protoman1337 wrote:
I wish there was some other thread in General that I actually wanted to post in.

Granted, but they are all locked.

I wish I could come up with a wish...

Granted. You wish to be turned into superman and Lex Luther force feeds you Kryptonite
I wish for no one to be able to corrupt my wish

At 2/28/14 02:29 PM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish to create a scientific breakthrough.

Granted. But then you die, I steal the idea and I win your Nobel Prize.

I wish to win the Nobel Prize.

At 3/1/14 08:40 AM, SCTE3 wrote: I wish for a delicious steak.

Granted, you find out it's human meat.

I wish for a delicious beef steak.

At 3/1/14 10:11 AM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish I could slap NewgroundsMike.

Granted, you slap NewgroundsMike, but you are then arrested for assault charges and given a sentence of six years in prison (four with good behavior).

I wish I had money, but didn't have to work.