At 3/20/15 11:15 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for Michael Jackson, Ray Charles, Buddy Holly and Hank Williams to come back from the dead and do a Barbershop Quartet concert.

Granted. But as a direct result from being bead for so long and bodily decay, they're all horribly out of tune with each other and they sing every night at your house ever since they got kicked out from doing that Barbershop Quartet concert.

I wish alcoholic chocolate replaced every other alcoholic beverage.

At 3/21/15 02:22 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/20/15 11:15 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for Michael Jackson, Ray Charles, Buddy Holly and Hank Williams to come back from the dead and do a Barbershop Quartet concert.

Granted. But as a direct result from being bead for so long and bodily decay, they're all horribly out of tune with each other and they sing every night at your house ever since they got kicked out from doing that Barbershop Quartet concert.

I wish alcoholic chocolate replaced every other alcoholic beverage.

Granted, you've doomed the breweries. I will never forgive you.

I wish every beer in the world was as good as ours.

At 3/21/15 10:49 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish every beer in the world was as good as ours.

Granted, now it's dull because it's all the same.

I wish my stuff was returned to Home Depot.

At 3/21/15 11:05 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 3/21/15 10:49 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish every beer in the world was as good as ours.

Granted, now it's dull because it's all the same.

I wish my stuff was returned to Home Depot.

Granted, but you can't use it any more.

I wish I could smile as much as you do.

At 3/21/15 01:50 PM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish I had a reason to smile.

Granted, now you're imprisoned for drunk driving, but you're far too drunk to realize it.

I wish Miley Cyrus would not ruin other great songs just like she did with Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

At 3/21/15 04:18 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Miley Cyrus would not ruin other great songs just like she did with Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

Granted. She ruins every other song she sings instead.

I wish that you went 5 decades without sleeping.

At 3/22/15 12:47 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/21/15 04:18 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Miley Cyrus would not ruin other great songs just like she did with Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

Granted. She ruins every other song she sings instead.

I wish that you went 5 decades without sleeping.

Granted, I turn into a zombie.

I wish Kurt Cobain came back as a zombie and ate Miley Cyrus.

At 3/22/15 11:02 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish Kurt Cobain came back as a zombie and ate Miley Cyrus.

Granted. She enjoys every minute of it, but the smell drives Kurt to kill himself, again.

I wish I could do stand-up well.

At 3/22/15 11:13 AM, NGPulp wrote:

At 3/22/15 11:02 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish Kurt Cobain came back as a zombie and ate Miley Cyrus.

Granted. She enjoys every minute of it, but the smell drives Kurt to kill himself, again.

I wish I could do stand-up well.

Granted, you can stand up well.

I wish I could sleep well.

At 3/22/15 11:20 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could sleep well.

Granted, you overdose on sleeping pillz.

I wish the cake was not a lie

At 3/22/15 11:28 AM, AoiShinigami wrote:

At 3/22/15 11:20 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could sleep well.

Granted, you overdose on sleeping pillz.

I wish the cake was not a lie

Granted, now your whole life is a lie.

I wish people realized that joke is getting old.

At 3/22/15 05:42 PM, Blakk-Katt wrote:
I Wish I Wasn't a social isolationist.

Granted. You're now a Social Nationalist.

I wish it was legal to arrest people for no apparent reason.

At 3/22/15 07:57 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/22/15 05:42 PM, Blakk-Katt wrote:
I Wish I Wasn't a social isolationist.

Granted. You're now a Social Nationalist.

I wish it was legal to arrest people for no apparent reason.

Granted, but child pornography is still illegal to produce, store and distribute, so your wish to have the most famous Loli Prison harem is still ruined by the Government.

I wish for Doritos... and an HEV suit with self-cleaning hand pieces...

At 3/22/15 10:59 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish for Doritos... and an HEV suit with self-cleaning hand pieces...

Granted. Thanks for the free Doritos and HEV suit with self-cleaning hand pieces! I'll make sure to put them to good use! (You never said that they'd belong to you)

I wish that everybody was sent to Hell, including God.

At 3/22/15 11:16 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/22/15 10:59 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish for Doritos... and an HEV suit with self-cleaning hand pieces...

Granted. Thanks for the free Doritos and HEV suit with self-cleaning hand pieces! I'll make sure to put them to good use! (You never said that they'd belong to you)

I wish that everybody was sent to Hell, including God.

Granted, but then God resets everything because he is, well, god...

I wish Gordon Freeman was a narutard

At 3/22/15 11:26 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Gordon Freeman was a narutard

Granted. He's you.

I wish that the oceans completely evaporated.

At 3/22/15 11:42 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that the oceans completely evaporated.

Granted. It happens, but it turns out it was all a dream.

I wish I woke up, finally.

At 3/23/15 04:34 AM, NGPulp wrote: Granted. It happens, but it turns out it was all a dream.

I wish I woke up, finally.

Granted, you awake with my balls in your mouth and I haven't washed for days. Sorry!

I wish I didn't need alcohol to tolerate idiots.

At 3/23/15 06:48 AM, McJobes wrote: I wish I didn't need alcohol to tolerate idiots.

Granted, now you're an idiot yourself.

I wish for free beer.

At 3/23/15 10:11 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for free beer.

Granted, but it is of such low quality that you almost die of hangover after a single bottle...

I wish to see Salad Fingers going Super Saiyan

At 3/23/15 11:38 AM, AoiShinigami wrote:

At 3/23/15 10:11 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for free beer.

Granted, but it is of such low quality that you almost die of hangover after a single bottle...

I wish to see Salad Fingers going Super Saiyan

Granted, but it's crappy fanart.

I wish I could escape reality.

At 3/23/15 11:57 AM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 3/23/15 11:40 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I could escape reality.

Granted, you are forever stuck in the My Little Pony universe.

I wish fiction was stranger than reality.

Granted, no one reads any more because they don't understand it.

I wish I could be a writer.

At 3/23/15 12:10 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 3/23/15 12:00 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I could be a writer.

Granted, but you endlessly procrastinate and as a result, you never finish writing any books.

I wish I didn't have trypophobia (fear of holes).

Granted, you're no longer gay.

I wish you saw what I did there.

At 3/23/15 12:20 PM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish you had every single phobia in existence.

Granted, I no longer talk to anyone and all forum games die.

I wish all phobias were cured from all people.

At 3/23/15 12:54 PM, SentForMe wrote: I wish plumbers always showed up on time.

Granted, but instead of doing their work, they just sit on your couch and watch TV.

I wish to kill everything.

At 3/23/15 01:12 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to kill everything.

Granted, but you can't go much further than one person because due to randomly decreased intelligence, you decide to begin the mass genocide with yourself.

I wish for a wearable chocolate fedora

At 3/23/15 04:57 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish for a wearable chocolate fedora

Granted. However, when viewed from above you look like nothing more than a candy treat. Unfortunately, that's exactly what the nearby giant next door mistook you as. Don't worry, he said you tasted great!

I wish that all humans can speak the animal language and must obey the animals, regardless of whether or not they're domesticated or completely wild.

At 3/23/15 11:02 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that all humans can speak the animal language and must obey the animals, regardless of whether or not they're domesticated or completely wild.

Wish granted. Planet of the Apes. Congrats.

I wish life had a plot twist to it.

At 3/23/15 11:38 PM, NGPulp wrote:

At 3/23/15 11:02 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish that all humans can speak the animal language and must obey the animals, regardless of whether or not they're domesticated or completely wild.

Wish granted. Planet of the Apes. Congrats.

I wish life had a plot twist to it.

Granted, it's when all of a sudden, a guy hits you with his truck on the sidewalk and you die.

I wish I could drive a truck.

At 3/24/15 10:36 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could drive a truck.

Granted, you drive a truck in Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing. And you still manage to destroy the truck...

I wish Patrick Star became a president of Russia