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Hyear, dius MARIA

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This is a rendition, an original setting, of the Ave Maria into Hymmnos, the constructed language of the Ar tonelico games. This was translated from the Latin.

This particular project may have very little to do with the doujin circle that I'm in, A Reyvateil's Melody -- it's more of a personal one, one of a number of personal songs that I want to see through to completion this year.

The idea came to me very strongly, like a truck hitting whatever feelings I had, when I was in the bath. I was determined to do it since. As for musical influences, I borrowed a fair bit from Kokia for this one.

I'm not going to add to description the original lyrics or even the significance of this; all that can be found here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hail_Mary

Just know that this is very close to my heart, and I only hope it came out okay.

Translation: Geiky
Composition and Vocals: Troisnyx

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LYRICS:

(Ma quel wa / Was ki ra) hyear dius MARIA,
vale oz wacce,
an yor rre Saash hymme.
Omga wis yorr manaf enter fandel wim,
en omga wis phira rre pomb yor, Pbidia IESUS.
(Ma ki wa) Diasee MARIA,
xe sonwe sos mean
so gyajlee mean,
iemma en mortoa kierre mean.

NB: The words in brackets are emotion sounds, fundamental to the Hymmnos language. Because it depends on the emotion of the speaker, they will change.

Also, names are nearly always in all caps in Hymmnos. I don't quite understand why, but that's a thing.

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Amazing and beautiful vocals and composition! I can really feel the emotion in this! Looking into the mixing, one thing you could do to improve is to have less bass frequencies on the bass guitar which comes in at 1:04. The subs/lows on that float a bit too high above the rest of the mix, but other than that I thought the piece was awesome. Keep up the great work, and looking forward to hearing more :)

Especially circa 1:39, I get forcibly reminded of the likes of Enya or Enigma. Sublime harmonics. Well done! I do think your confidence level affected you especially early on in the piece - and I know where that comes from! Do your best to conquer that :) (and I say that as I am getting my feet wet in singing for my songs myself xD) You definitely opened up so to speak later on, and ... goodness... did that blossom :)

On a side note, I wish I understood the words! (not why the half star less, that was for the early part :P I try to keep my 5 star ratings scarce to make them extra special! ;P)

Cheers and keep going. Excellent stuff!

Troisnyx responds:

Thanks for the review, meep~
I did link the WP article to Hail Mary / Ave Maria and the text of the prayer translates to the Hymmnos lyrics above. I'd hoped you'd be able to find the translation there.

Otherwise I concur, it was fear of angering the upstairs neighbours who were previously in there and it was just frightening for me back then, because I'd been known to be interrupted mid-discussion, mid-anything if I was too loud for her. These walls are paper thin, so I don't doubt anyone can hear me sing. After a while when I'd got going I threw all caution to the wind.

A for effort. I can feel the emotions which inspired you. From a technical standpoint I can hear how your hesitation to sing is affecting the tonal quality. Nicely done, however, if you wanted it to have a little more impact I would not have hesitated with singing. In short go big or go home haha
Overall it was very lovely. You don't need autotune, just confidence!

Troisnyx responds:

I did my best, but confidence always has been a weak point of mine. I'd appreciate any advice / help you can offer me. Thank you for listening!

Beautiful, this is such a different style of music then i normally listen to but its a refreshing sound that i do enjoy. It draws upon my imagination, where i can picture myself swimming underneath the waves of the ocean or being lifted by angels to the great divine. Especially at 1:40 onward, the vocal harmony works really well as the whole song burst into life.

I can't really piece any real criticism as far as the ears I'm working with are concerned, other than it sounds like it gets kind of loud at the end of the song near 1:40. Also, i agree with the other the reviewers who mentioned the small amount of shakiness in the vocals in the beginning. It's not really even a strong criticism because i don't think it deteriorates from the rest of the song at all. Overall this is really a lovely hymn, i like it a lot

Woah! This is truly a masterpiece. Very reminiscent of an old-style hymn, but definitely a new style of it! Time to go over the pros and cons!

Pros: The music provides a nice background, without having too much melody. This lets the singing come out much nicer and very beautiful!

Cons: While the song sounds beautiful, the voice stands out a teeny bit more than it should. A little more mixing, maybe even just reverb, and this would be solid.

Good job, looking forward to a new piece!

Credits & Info

Troisnyx
Author

Listens
1,057
Faves:
8
Votes
22
Score
4.63 / 5.00

Uploaded
Mar 24, 2018
5:12 PM EDT
Genre
Miscellaneous
File Info
Song
3.5 MB
3 min 3 sec
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