"I'LL WRING YOUR NECK YOU SNEAK!"

"STOP I BRUISE EASY!"

Esther could barely keep up with the speeding duo. Today sure was a weird day, with hammers, whirlpools, anemones, and other weird stuff. She was only half surprised that Roland went crazy here; all mages were jittery people who were one splash above advisors and viziers on the untrustworthy scale. It's because they don't eat enough, Esther always told herself, no one that skinny could ever be sane. 

It's good to get a good diet of chili and salmon, with a splash of plankton for seasoning, her daddy always told her. It keeps you from going crazy like uncle charlie (who coincidently, was also a mage). 

Esther especially liked it when the salmon was dipped in sulfur sauce. Sure, some merpeople would call that "bottom-feeder spice" but she didn't subscribe to those stereotypes. How could anyone who makes such good food ever be a bad person? 

Esther judged people on the eating scale. Large people, and muscle people were immediately in her good graces because those kinds of people knew how to have a party with good food. Skinny people were of a varying range for her; if the skinny person had a diet of salads and legumes, that was good enough for her; after all, you can't knock a good salad. But if the skinny person largely subsisted on "munchy food", they jumped immediately to the "suspicious level" of the scale. People who tampered with food were pond scum of the earth to her. 

How could anyone do that to- oh dear. Esther just realized her mind started wandering again. She had to keep up with Melinda and Roland or else she'd get left behind. It would have been easier if she wasn't a turtle, but what can you do? Turtles are a chill bunch. 

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