"GOOD LORD! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF ALL THESE ASININE TRAPS! Pardon my French." 

Roland considered himself a reasonable merman. When he explored a deep dungeon, he expected danger, monsters, (and most of all), an appreciative party that had his back. 

These two insufferable women had neither his back nor front, except as a shield. He had been bruised, battered, and humiliated in more ways than one today, and they hadn't even extended a little bit of courtesy for his pain and torment. 

Never mind that this accursed lair of absurdities felt encouraged to defy every expectation of an adventurer's dungeon. There were no monsters, or serious dangers; just childish pranks, transformations, and cartoon antics. It was an absolute embarrassment to dungeons worldwide. Worse, it seemed intent on breaking every expectation he had for the trip ahead.

This time, the group faced a lone polyp in an empty hallway. 

Roland didn't even give his party members time to speak. He just knew something embarrassing was about to happen and he was the one who was going to get the worst of it. 

Without any hesitation, he swam up and picked up the polyp from the ground, shaking it with intense fury. 

"WHAT DO YOU DO EH? SPILL FLATULENCE OF THE EONS? DO YOU TICKLE ME FROM THE SOUL? WILL YOU RANCHOR THE HALLS WITH CHEESE? COME NOW! EMBARASS ME AND MY KNOWLEDGE EVEN FURTHER! COME NOW! COME-"

He hadn't even finished the sentence when the blast came.

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