Awesome.
I KNEW he was going to take the paycheck in the end XD
Reviews for "The Paper Prince"
ernest-aka-gooey responds:
Aha good. I felt it would only be natural.. I Mean he's not going to forget his money that he won workin' in that place
Origami Solutions
Nice tale ,characters, and animation. Just a thought though: possibly add the main character (after quitting his job) making origami happily ($ and peaceful music too?). Hey, and maybe the old fella is his real dad. Just a thought. Good work man!
ernest-aka-gooey responds:
Hmm... now before posting it here I hadn't even considered having anything conclusive like that... but it seems like a fair amount of people want to have SOME kind of closure.
Maybe if I can think of something satisfying I'll put in a very short Epilogue type deal
Funny!
It was so funny when he sent his story to all of his work mates xD
I really enjoyed this.
And ignore the 0 below me, he just cant appreciate proper flash animations.
ernest-aka-gooey responds:
Aha good. Originally that scene was quite a bit longer that involved more computer problems and frustration but I cut it out due to taking up too much time.
Awesome when my jokes are found funneh.
From a viewers perspective
Solid worke and good story, but still a few problems:
I was really missing the music here, since there was no dialog or anything, to make the charakters fealings more evident. I know that this is a problem, mainly because of the copyrights, but since you're here on newgrounds, it might be possible to find someone to make it for you. Just ask, they won't bite. Music is always a good way to make things interesting and to indicate changes in mood or situation, like danger, lack of time or catharsis.
The scenes are thought out verry well, but still you leave to much space between the actions, making it unnecessary long. People are impatient. Always remember that.
A real problem was the text. I could barely read it in the time given. But don't give me more time to read. Either shorten the text to the essential message or make a cut and slap the most importent sentence right into my face.
You used the camerea and cuts pretty well to lead the attention, but you should use that even more.
This one might be a matter of personal flavour but a side profile long shot still isn't a good framing. I know it's alluring, since you can show a lot of things with it at one time, but still, it looks horrible. Think of tv sows or movies. It's pretty rare to see a side provile longshot. Most of the time they use a wedged knee shot and cut to a closeup, if they want to show something in particualr.
So, try to do more cuts and maybe even use focus to lead the viewers attention.
What I missed the most was a pause button. If you make somethint this long, give me a way to pause it. I don't want to watch it all over, when I need to answer the phone or get the door.
So on the whole, solid animation and good writing. For a start it's pretty good. If you want to improve on film making, read a little bit about camera angles and watch your favourite films while looking at these kind of things.
If you want to improve on writing, read books about script writing. I recommend Robert McKee's "Story". It's a good book, which is sometimes pretty tough to read, but it covers up all the important things you need to know about script writing.
So, good luck for the festival. You really have some potential.
greetz
Zeph
p.s. I hope you guys excuse my bad orthography and grammer, but at the moment I have absolutely no neves to proofread this. I'll try harder, nest time. I promise.
Here's a suggestion.
Excellent story and characterization, all that I can suggest is that you clean up the animation, and maybe add some music behind it since there isn't any real voice acting going on. That will make it feel more full and dynamic.