Warning: Very Long Post.

[Zerok]

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[STEM]

lol@the cheater for using picture completion >:(

[ArabFreak]

I

A
M

S
P
E
E
C
H
L
E
S
S
.

[kirbystar]

That's spam. If you want to say something, post it like a regular message, not...

L
I
K
E

T
H
I
S

And for the record, you are correct, I doubt many people would read that whole thing.

[Shadic-1]

I

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a
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u
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t
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[Fire]

D
u
d
e

,
t
h
a
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i
s

v
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r
y

t
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e
.

M
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p
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.

P.S. Algeria, green beans, and Christmas.

[SlipperyMooseCakes]

America

Carrot

Christmas.

HAPPY FUCKER.

[Zerok]

At 1/16/06 10:27 AM, kirbystar wrote: That's spam. If you want to say something, post it like a regular message, not...

Please read the whole thread. >:)

And for the record, you are correct, I doubt many people would read that whole thing.

Truly.

At 1/16/06 10:31 AM, SlipperyMooseCakes wrote: America

Carrot

Christmas.

HAPPY FUCKER.

I love you, dude.

[KungFuCow]

A
l
g
e
r
i
a
.

A
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.

[KungFuCow]

Carrot

Christmas.

Oh. The question was post a vegetable and holiday-which i thought meant it would be the same name for both of them, never mind.

[1Dizmal1]

At 1/16/06 10:37 AM, KungFuCow wrote:

Carrot

Christmas.

Oh. The question was post a vegetable and holiday-which i thought meant it would be the same name for both of them, never mind.

madhead

[SlipperyMooseCakes]

At 1/16/06 10:34 AM, Zerok wrote:

At 1/16/06 10:31 AM, SlipperyMooseCakes wrote: America

Carrot

Christmas.

HAPPY FUCKER.

I love you, dude.

I'm never clicking on one of your threads again, YOU'VE MADE ME LOSE THE CURIOSITY AND PATIENCE YOU TALKED ABOUT IN YOUR POST.

My eyes, they burn...

[JohnnyWang]

America, Carrot and Halloween.

What do I win.

[Catoblepas]

That is as true as the fact that the Australian cucumber is not a very popular christmas food.

[Zerok]

Some of you may be wondering what drove me to do this to your souls.
Well, it had spammy origins, I must admit. I was thinking about how you could maximize the length of a post. Claim to have posted the longest post on NG. I figured it would be obtained by filling the field with periods until the counter ran out, then stick a 400 pixel high picture at the end to cherry-top it off. But you know, while it would be big and all, it would have been blatant spam and all.

So I toyed around with the idea of actually trying to incorporate a point. And what better a point than the TLDR rant? Sadly, the character limit is cut by 60% or something when you post like that, so I wasn't able to express an argument as well as I would have liked. As for typing the thing out, it wasn't that bad. Type it out in Word first, copy-paste to NotePad and then hit Return and Right Arrow a lot a lot. I had music on, so I just tapped it out to the beat. Then Find and Replace all spaces with nothings to be able to squeeze as many words in as possible. Tweak it so it fits, voila.

At 1/16/06 10:39 AM, SlipperyMooseCakes wrote: I'm never clicking on one of your threads again, YOU'VE MADE ME LOSE THE CURIOSITY AND PATIENCE YOU TALKED ABOUT IN YOUR POST.

My eyes, they burn...

<3 Sorry 'bout that.

At 1/16/06 10:39 AM, JohnnyWang wrote: What do I win.

Eh, my condemnations.

[FIGMENTUM]

Australia, carrot and I can't be bothered thinking of the other proof.

Also: FUCK YOU ZEROK.

guh.

[UberBarista]

At 1/16/06 10:48 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote: Australia, carrot and I can't be bothered thinking of the other proof.

Also: FUCK YOU ZEROK.

FUCK YOU ZEROK.

Also: Figmentum is my babies daddy

[JohnnyWang]

At 1/16/06 10:52 AM, Uberbarista wrote:

At 1/16/06 10:48 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote: Australia, carrot and I can't be bothered thinking of the other proof.

Also: FUCK YOU ZEROK.

FUCK YOU ZEROK.

Also: Figmentum is my babies daddy

In other news, the espresso porn link in uberbaristas sig is fucking haught.

[Legionnaire-X]

ZEROK FAG >:(

[DigDugz]

I actually read it, but my brain exploded towards the end.

[psykolord]

Country: Albania.

Vegetable: Corn.

Holiday: Veterans' Day. If you want one that's not restricted to one particular nation, then Halloween. If you want one that we get off as well, then Hanukkah.

And I believe I have seen the Best Thread of 2006, and it's still mid-January.

[shiro183]

that is the first time anyhting on this website has given me a headache....

i'm thinking slowly now....

[Lidov]

I

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[Tri-Nitro-Toluene]

Australia

Christmas

Cabbage

wow...you took away god knows how long of my life. I want it back.

With interest!

[Kaleidoscope]

I can't belive I just read that whole thing.

[NightCrawler]

To be honest, I didn't find the thread to be THAT long (but for those of you who know me, would have probably guessed that by now). I think you mentioned that too Zerok... how to the people who write out the threads that have long paragraphs of deep discussion, probably are the ones who will be reading this. Nonetheless, I thought it was very interesting.

And it was funny.

My thoughts on the matter:

I think you're right. People usually dont want to read long post because of three important factors. Patience, Attention Span, and Post count. I think, in my opinion Attention Span comes first. I do this because in today's world, everyone's attention span has greatly decreased. This has a lot to do with the fact that high speed internet, television, cell phones.... basically, electronic gizmos that work really fast. Remember back in the day (I know you wont because most of you werent even born), where you had to use the telephone with the circular dial? If you wanted to dial the number 999-9999 for example, you would have to put your finger in the small hole where the nine is, and ring it all the way back to end. Now look. Technology is so advanced that we have such things as speed dial. Not only do we not have to dial in the same circular way... but now all we have to do is push a button, or use our voice. Sure I find that pretty fascinating, but I do also realize that it is doing us all some harm.

If we dont get things fast, we decide not to get them at all.

I find those of us who still have an extended attention span, and have a great deal of patience, will go through life (no offense here) probably more successful and more intelligent. I say this because if you're given a problem, you have to take time to solve that problem, rather than just trying to find the fastest solution possible (in this case, "tldr"). Understand?

So I guess what I'm trying to say, and as well as Zerok, is to take the time to read the post. Not just his, but all from now on.

Heres a challenge. I will have the greatest respect to whoever can read all of my last 30 post. Just my last 30, nothing more. If I had a big bag of gold, I'd hand it to you if you did this.

.

Very interesting read Zerok... of course, coming from you, interesting is what I would have expected :). Oh and by the way, Argentina and Pumpkin/Thanksgiving (I wasnt quite sure about the vegetable/holiday bit).

Thank you for your time.

[Jercurpac]

At 1/16/06 10:19 AM, Zerok wrote: People who post TLDR aren't a problem at all, sometimes short humorous posts add spice to the forums. </paraphrase>

I have to disagree, the same people who post TLDR aren't the same people who are typing out hilarious one liners that stay relevent to the thread they're posted in. If you think TLDR is funny you haven't the brain power to comprehend a sophisitcated level of humor. Sometimes writing something short and funny takes just as much thought (although certainly not as much time) as a well composed long-winded rant. The only people who have the ability to consistently create short, entertaining posts are the ones writing long thought provoking ones as well.

The only time I've ever chuckled at TLDR was when it was used in a purely satirical sense and 90% of the time posters don't put that much thought into making a joke.

[AntiEverythingGoon]

Haha, that like gave me a freaking headache, couldn't read till the end.

[Sentio]

Wow, my head hurts after that, it relly isn't easy to read!!! It must have taken some serious patience to type all of that out, even using the notepad method you mention above.
However I think it is a point well made, it really is lazy to post in a thread if you haven't even read the original post, let alone the subsequent posts. Far too often I've seen people on page three or four of a topic bring something up that became irrelevant on page one just because they were too lazy to read it. Believe it or not the purpose of the BBS is not to get a high post count (gasp!), but rather to talk about things that interest you with a bunch of like minded people.
Oh, and I hope it is unneccessary to post the three criteria you wanted, it should be clear that I read the whole thing and enough people have posted them already to make it irrelevant.

[Rideo]

Okay, the first thing about this post I'd like to point out is this: I don't expect many of you to actually read it all. That's okay. That's actually the part of the point.:There's always been the rant that focuses on the TLDR aspect of the forum. It comes up in almost any long, winded post; often appearing in the form of "read the whole post, retard." Well, this is a bit of a test of your forum reading patience, I suppose. Think of it like an experimeny fine filter. Nothing's saying you're undedicated or a bad user if you don't read all this. But if you do read it, that's saying a few things. Patience, for one. Curiosity, another. Too much time on your hands? Possibly. If you have that auto scroller that comes with most mice with a scroll wheel, I'd suggest engaging it. I figure if you've gotten this far, you're going to continue. Okay, that's my little (heh) intro thing. Now for the discussion aspect of the thread. What compels a person to click on a thread, discover that the first post has many rich paragraphs, and then post without reading anyway? Post count could be one thing, sure. personally, I think it's more of an attention span sort of thin. People aren't Patient enough to sit through giant chunks of words and be bothered to sit and have to think about them, let alone come up with an intelligent and contextually sound reply. That's the really no suprise, even though the forum is designed for exactly that. I know this upsets a lot of people who embrace this form of communication, and to those people (preumably the only these people will be reading this anyway) I say: it's okay. really, it is. I'm not saying to stop chastising those who blatantly disregard to read even the most basicof posts, but to understand that this problem really isn't that big of a deal. Consider how dry it would be with consistent, paragraphed and well-thought out discussion. Even the most meticulous of us can find humour in that well-timed one-liner. You're deep enough in to receive my commendations. To prove you've read this far, if you reply, include a country that begins and ends with the letter 'a' a vegetable and a holidy that happens either int he autumn or winter. Really, you're awesome for not ripping out your hair. I truly wonder how many of you will actually read it all.

I'm bored :O