A few new rules

[NEVR]

FYI, there's a few new BBS rules coming into play. They are all very serious offenses and will be instantaneously banned for:

1. No shoes on the forums: if you wear shoes while you post, you will receive a ban. Remove your shoes NOW.

2. The Newgrounds BBS is hereby declared a beard priority zone: Any users who can grow a beard will have more say in ANY MATTER than those lacking facial hair.

3. No user is permitted to masturbate, ever. This rule is non-negotiable.

4. Users must at all times pretend that they are riding camels. If you have never ridden a camel, please do some online research on the practicalities of camel-riding before you proceed to post on the BBS.

5. Dispute of these rules will earn you a ban.

As you can probably see, none of these rules are too problematic in the general scheme of things. Any non-compliance with these new rules will be swiftly punished.

Thankyou for your time.

[SloppyMoe606]

I just put some shoes on to spite you. I also broke your other rules by not pretending I'm riding a camel. What are you gonna do, BAN ME?!

[NEVR]

At 8/9/10 09:14 PM, Twilight wrote: What if my pretend camel dies?

Buy another one at the pretend camel market.

[FUNKbrs]

God, NG is so pussified now.

Remember when we had no rules? Back before Freakapotimus got modded?

No?

Well fuck you then. I do, goddamnit.

WE USED TO HAVE A THREAD JUST FOR FUCKING SPAM, AND HALF THE ORIGINAL MOD STAFF USED IT TO PAD THEIR POST COUNTS.

I hate you all.

[SloppyMoe606]

I'm also masturbating.

[kinggila]

I don't ever recall dragons wearing shoes so I've got nothing to worry about rule #1. However, I will admit that I haven't ridden a camel before and I'm not sure how riding one would work out for me.

[JoshuaKidder]

Had to fucking calm my camel down by tickling him with my bare feet in able to read this. Shaky fucker.

He's always chewing on my beard, fuck.

[sixflab]

At 8/9/10 09:12 PM, NEVR wrote: 2. The Newgrounds BBS is hereby declared a beard priority zone: Any users who can grow a beard will have more say in ANY MATTER than those lacking facial hair.

Dang. I just showered and shaved before I sat at the computer.

[NEVR]

At 8/9/10 09:15 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: God, NG is so pussified now.

You gotta roll with the times funk, and it's camel time.

[Jon]

I'm keeping my shoes on you thieving bastard.

[gamekillereater]

But getting a pretend blowjob from your pretend camel is okay?

[MaddieLion]

At 8/9/10 09:12 PM, NEVR wrote:
1. No shoes on the forums: if you wear shoes while you post, you will receive a ban. Remove your shoes NOW.

How will you know?

2. The Newgrounds BBS is hereby declared a beard priority zone: Any users who can grow a beard will have more say in ANY MATTER than those lacking facial hair.

Good Good.

3. No user is permitted to masturbate, ever. This rule is non-negotiable.

General is dead.

4. Users must at all times pretend that they are riding camels. If you have never ridden a camel, please do some online research on the practicalities of camel-riding before you proceed to post on the BBS.

I haven't ridden a camel, but what about a horse?

5. Dispute of these rules will earn you a ban.

psshh.

I'm typing this because I need more text.

[Wagggs]

At 8/9/10 09:12 PM, NEVR wrote: 3. No user is permitted to masturbate, ever. This rule is non-negotiable.

This is a great rule! It might force some of the users to actually meet somebody of the opposite sex and have them fulfill their needs.

[ShadowWest]

At 8/9/10 09:12 PM, NEVR wrote: 3. No user is permitted to masturbate, ever. This rule is non-negotiable.

Guess you better ban everyone then

[KillerSkull]

The BBS has been in need of these rules for a long time! IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU GUYS!

[killerrob]

At 8/9/10 09:14 PM, NEVR wrote:

At 8/9/10 09:14 PM, Twilight wrote: What if my pretend camel dies?

Buy another one at the pretend camel market.

Pretend camels are way too expensive there!

[Luke]

Ah, piece of cake...

[FUNKbrs]

At 8/9/10 09:16 PM, NEVR wrote:

At 8/9/10 09:15 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: God, NG is so pussified now.

You gotta roll with the times funk, and it's camel time.

What if I only have a camel toe?

Will that work?

[Irrelephant]

just obeying the rules no biggie

[sixflab]

At 8/9/10 09:22 PM, killerrob wrote:

At 8/9/10 09:14 PM, NEVR wrote:

At 8/9/10 09:14 PM, Twilight wrote: What if my pretend camel dies?

Buy another one at the pretend camel market.

Pretend camels are way too expensive there!

You need to go to the one in India. Rubels are worth practically nothing.

[PeterM]

I honestly hope you are a gerbil.

[NEVR]

At 8/9/10 09:23 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: What if I only have a camel toe?

Will that work?

Only if you draw the rest of the camel on yourself.

[Dubbi]

Rule 2 is a much needed change. Facial hair is a greatly misunderstood, glorious past time, and it must be honored and celebrated on the bss - even if it's not elsewhere.

Seriously, when was the last time we had a bearded president?

I applaud you for this rule and the others, Mr. Mod.

[Falconpunchr]

But if we ride camels, how can we get on the floor and walk the dinosaur?

[Tobi]

At 8/9/10 09:14 PM, NEVR wrote:

At 8/9/10 09:14 PM, Twilight wrote: What if my pretend camel dies?

Buy another one at the pretend camel market.

What if I pretend there is a plague amongst camels and they all die?

[FUNKbrs]

At 8/9/10 09:28 PM, NEVR wrote:

At 8/9/10 09:23 PM, FUNKbrs wrote: What if I only have a camel toe?

Will that work?

Only if you draw the rest of the camel on yourself.

AHA!!!

I bet you thought you had me there, didn't you gestapo mod?

WELL LITTLE DID YOU KNOW I'M VERY FAT AND CAN DRAW A LIFE SIZE CAMEL ON MY BELLY!!!

MWWWAAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

I'm pretending to be riding a vagina, and I've made to where I'm just following the rules so it doesn't count as masturbating. I just won the mother fucking GAME.

[UberCream]

This thread has some striking political commentary, if I do say so myself.

[HellboundNinja]

At 8/9/10 09:12 PM, NEVR wrote: FYI, there's a few new BBS rules coming into play. They are all very serious offenses and will be instantaneously banned for:

1. No shoes on the forums: if you wear shoes while you post, you will receive a ban. Remove your shoes NOW.

Fuck YEA. Ive never worn shoes while posting...EVER...not even when there was a fire

2. The Newgrounds BBS is hereby declared a beard priority zone: Any users who can grow a beard will have more say in ANY MATTER than those lacking facial hair.

What about those of us int he Military? By the Rules and Regulations of the US Armed Forces us Military folk arnt permitted to have beards.

3. No user is permitted to masturbate, ever. This rule is non-negotiable.

While deployed in the US Army masturbation and Porn are illegal...so this will be easy enough to convert back to.

4. Users must at all times pretend that they are riding camels. If you have never ridden a camel, please do some online research on the practicalities of camel-riding before you proceed to post on the BBS.

While I was deployed I rode a camel so this is yet another win for me.

5. Dispute of these rules will earn you a ban.

I see no reason to disputed something so senseical.

As you can probably see, none of these rules are too problematic in the general scheme of things. Any non-compliance with these new rules will be swiftly punished.

Donkey Punch those fucker NEVR

Thankyou for your time.

No thank you for you banhammer

[Yoshi-Dus-Not]

i just shaved off my beard which now completed me breaking all the rules, punish me NOW!!!

i dare u

[ZombieMonkey]

At 8/9/10 09:12 PM, NEVR wrote: FYI, there's a few new BBS rules coming into play. They are all very serious offenses and will be instantaneously banned for:

1. No shoes on the forums: if you wear shoes while you post, you will receive a ban. Remove your shoes NOW.

Are slippers allowed? I don't have a carpet in my room and the floor is very cold.