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At 11/2/09 10:13 AM, Sweeper128 wrote: -Elfer, what does the Scouter say about your power level?

It's exactly nine thousand.

-My body cannot produce insulin. Is there a cure?

Not as of yet. However, there are maintenance plans available to prevent catastrophic failure.

-Do you like Showaddywaddy?

Don't know what that is, so no.

-Steak or Chicken in a pie?

Probably chicken in a pie, there's more things you can do with it. However, steak may be appropriate depending on circumstances.

-What is the cheapest way to get from Aberdeen to Hull and back?

Cheapest? Probably walking, although biking would be faster and would mean fewer overnights. Your call.

- You bored yet?
- Where does the universe come from?
- Explain the 7th dimension to me
- What method of compost is best?
- Beets, bears or bananas?

At 11/1/09 11:50 AM, Elfer wrote:

So what you waitin' for? A better life* is only moments away!

Well, I'm an 18 year old recent high school graduate. I decided to wait a little bit to go to college, but I'm not sure what I want to go for, and it's seeming like the only reason I want to go is so that I can delay real life for a little bit longer, and maybe find out what I want to do with my life.

However, the REAL thing I want to do with my life is a little far fetched. I've been a drummer for about 5 or 6 years now, and in the recent past, I've got a band going, been writing songs, and have started booking shows. We're looking to record a demo pretty soon. I've determined that this is what I want to do with my life, I want more than anything to be a musician.

The only thing is, I feel like I should have a backup in case this doesn't work out, but I can't see myself committing to anything else. I'm dedicated to music, but I don't want to go to school for it, because the only thing I want to do with it is write and perform, not get a music-related job. I work part time at a fast food restaurant, and since I've only got my car (just gas, insurance, and upkeep, it's all paid for) and my cell phone to pay for, I am able to keep most of the money I make, so I do pretty well. I still live at home.

My mom's told me that come January, if I haven't decided to go to college, then I have to find a full time job (a daunting task, as I'm finding it hard to find a secondary or replacement part time job), or my ass is out on the street.

I feel kind of stuck. What should I do?

At 11/2/09 12:41 PM, poxpower wrote: - You bored yet?

Nah.

- Where does the universe come from?

It comes from the middle part and sort of shoots outward from there, you know?

- Explain the 7th dimension to me

The 7th Dimension is the BBC's regular radio slot for science fiction, fantasy and horror. It is broadcast on the digital radio station BBC Radio 7 at 6 p.m. (GMT in winter, BST in summer), seven days a week and then repeated each day at midnight. Most of the programs are full cast dramatizations and the remainder are book readings. The Seventh Dimension has hosted both standalone stories and serials. Most of the programs are drawn from the BBC's extensive archives and have previously been aired on other BBC stations. A few Seventh Dimension shows are new commissions, such as Undone, The Spaceship and Planet B.

- What method of compost is best?

Vermicomposting.

- Beets, bears or bananas?

Depends on whether you want to eat 'em, fight 'em, or marry 'em.

At 11/2/09 12:45 PM, Dropkicked wrote: Well, I'm an 18 year old recent high school graduate.

Okay. This is not necessarily a problem in and of itself, so we'll come back to it later.

I decided to wait a little bit to go to college, but I'm not sure what I want to go for, and it's seeming like the only reason I want to go is so that I can delay real life for a little bit longer, and maybe find out what I want to do with my life.

College is usually a pretty decent idea if you have the money. The longer you wait, the harder it is to get in, and nobody wants to hire you if you're just a high school graduate.

However, the REAL thing I want to do with my life is a little far fetched. I've been a drummer for about 5 or 6 years now, and in the recent past, I've got a band going, been writing songs, and have started booking shows. We're looking to record a demo pretty soon. I've determined that this is what I want to do with my life, I want more than anything to be a musician.

Okay. I don't see this as an argument against going to college. Colleges are a great environment for local musicians, and it would be a good way to get some attention for your band.

The only thing is, I feel like I should have a backup in case this doesn't work out, but I can't see myself committing to anything else.

Have you considered any sort of skilled trade? You could do something related to your interests, like making drums. You could also teach drumming lessons, although without some sort of credentials you wouldn't be able to charge a whole lot.

I'm dedicated to music, but I don't want to go to school for it, because the only thing I want to do with it is write and perform, not get a music-related job. I work part time at a fast food restaurant, and since I've only got my car (just gas, insurance, and upkeep, it's all paid for) and my cell phone to pay for, I am able to keep most of the money I make, so I do pretty well. I still live at home.

Yeah, well, you're going to have to move out eventually. Part-time fast food is not going to be the greatest.

My mom's told me that come January, if I haven't decided to go to college, then I have to find a full time job (a daunting task, as I'm finding it hard to find a secondary or replacement part time job), or my ass is out on the street.

I feel kind of stuck. What should I do?

Go to college. It'll give you a backup plan and it'll buy you more time to get your music career off the ground. If you want to save money and have credentials that can earn you decent money when you graduate, take a skilled trade of some sort. Part of your training will be a paid apprenticeship. On top of that, it doesn't take the full four years that other college programs require.

If you like woodworking, you could easily take courses on something like guitar building. If you're good at it, making custom or unique guitars could be really fun and earn you a lot of money on your own schedule. If you're heavily involved in the local music scene, you'd be in the perfect place to sell them, too.

At 11/2/09 12:57 PM, Elfer wrote:

eel kind of stuck. What should I do?

Go to college. It'll give you a backup plan and it'll buy you more time to get your music career off the ground. If you want to save money and have credentials that can earn you decent money when you graduate, take a skilled trade of some sort. Part of your training will be a paid apprenticeship. On top of that, it doesn't take the full four years that other college programs require.

Surprisingly, this was really good advice. Probably the best that I've gotten from anyone so far. Thanks man.

Stop helping these bumbling idiots and get me some donuts.

At 11/2/09 01:04 PM, Dropkicked wrote: Surprisingly, this was really good advice. Probably the best that I've gotten from anyone so far. Thanks man.

No probs. Personally, I think the skilled trades are seriously underrated by people leaving high school. It'll be more fun, cost less money, and leave you better off than most arts degrees.

At 11/2/09 01:05 PM, cast wrote: Stop helping these bumbling idiots and get me some donuts.

Nevah!

However, if you'd like, I could tell you how to make your own donuts at home.

How do I make some Kalkalash?

Give me the REAL recipe.

At 11/2/09 02:17 PM, poxpower wrote: How do I make some Kalkalash?

Give me the REAL recipe.

Well, since it is fictional, you can pretty much make it however you want. All you really need is some sort of brown meat and a stick to put it on.

You must know what Showaddywaddy. You fix things so you must!

How do I ask a girl I like out? Should I ask her out like "You want to go see a film?" or what? Usually girls and I both have to be drunk before anything happens and seeing as my courage in a glass isn't an option, what do I do?

Also this doesn't apply to the Relationships Crew.

At 11/2/09 04:14 PM, Lunaful wrote: How do I ask a girl I like out? Should I ask her out like "You want to go see a film?" or what? Usually girls and I both have to be drunk before anything happens and seeing as my courage in a glass isn't an option, what do I do?

Do you have any hobbies or interests that would work? A "date" doesn't always have to be a date in the traditional sense. You can go bowling, climbing, go to a pool hall, or just walk around looking at shops downtown then have lunch. I personally find that movies and dinners don't work that well. Movies you don't talk at all, and dinners are too high pressure trying to grasp for things to talk about. When you're out doing something, the conversation will flow more naturally.

At 11/2/09 04:26 PM, Elfer wrote: Do you have any hobbies or interests that would work? A "date" doesn't always have to be a date in the traditional sense. just walk around looking at shops downtown then have lunch. I personally find that movies and dinners don't work that well. When you're out doing something, the conversation will flow more naturally.

That's actually the single best piece of advice I've reserved.
I really mean it, all my "lady's man" friend types are "fill her up with drunk and stick it in her!"

At 11/2/09 04:49 PM, Lunaful wrote: That's actually the single best piece of advice I've reserved.
I really mean it, all my "lady's man" friend types are "fill her up with drunk and stick it in her!"

Yes, well, the problem with talking to guys in real life is that they generally just try to act like they're hot shit so as not to get made fun of. However, you'll notice that in media portrayals (and also in real life) that the "actually cool" people are always dismissive instead of defensive when someone makes fun of them.

What I'm trying to say is that your friends are dicks. And losers.

What's the best way to approach girls?

I give advice to teenagers in my spare time, what kind of clinic do I have to check into and what pills will I have to take to avoid this behavior in the future?

At 11/2/09 05:37 PM, Tateos wrote: What's the best way to approach girls?

From the front. You tend to either get a stiff knee to the testicles, a face full of mace, the shrill piercing tone of a rape whistle before getting hauled off for a night in prison, or a combination of the three when you try a stealthy approach from behind.

At 11/2/09 05:37 PM, Tateos wrote: What's the best way to approach girls?

I dunno, calmly? You have to be your own person or it's not really going to go anywhere.

At 11/2/09 05:48 PM, poxpower wrote: I give advice to teenagers in my spare time, what kind of clinic do I have to check into and what pills will I have to take to avoid this behavior in the future?

All of 'em.

At 11/2/09 02:17 PM, poxpower wrote: How do I make some Kalkalash?

Give me the REAL recipe.

That was your 28,000th post.
High five.

Anways, Elfer, fix mah life.
How do I get women?
I'm 15, I'm myself, I try to be confident, I flirt and tease, yet the ladies don't like me in a romantic way.
They say it's not cause of looks, but I bet it is, because I'm not ripped, AND I'm short.
Being short sucks.

Im pretty sure someone asks this but, how do I get a girl to like me?

inb4 sexiness.

At 11/2/09 06:25 PM, Spaghetti14 wrote: Anways, Elfer, fix mah life.
How do I get women?
I'm 15, I'm myself, I try to be confident, I flirt and tease, yet the ladies don't like me in a romantic way.
They say it's not cause of looks, but I bet it is, because I'm not ripped, AND I'm short.
Being short sucks.

Well I mean, you can work out more if you want, it's got a lot more benefits than just looking good. And if you do decide to lift weights, for fuck's sake remember to train your hands and forearms, otherwise none of it will have any practical benefit.

But I'd say if you're 15, just don't sweat the ladies too much. This is something that you'll be painfully aware of a few years from now, but at this age, you and everyone around you is an idiot who doesn't know how to handle any sort of interpersonal relationship in a reasonable way. If something happens, it happens, but you really don't need to actively pursue it if it's just going to be stressful.

At 11/2/09 06:55 PM, MegamanZero360 wrote: Im pretty sure someone asks this but, how do I get a girl to like me?

inb4 sexiness.

Read rest of topic, etc. etc. etc.

Anyway, you don't want to get a girl to like you, you should try to meet a girl who already likes who you are. Of course, self-improvement does help with that.

At 11/2/09 07:33 PM, Elfer wrote:

At 11/2/09 06:25 PM, Spaghetti14 wrote: Anways, Elfer, fix mah life.
How do I get women?
I'm 15, I'm myself, I try to be confident, I flirt and tease, yet the ladies don't like me in a romantic way.
They say it's not cause of looks, but I bet it is, because I'm not ripped, AND I'm short.
Being short sucks.

Well I mean, you can work out more if you want, it's got a lot more benefits than just looking good. And if you do decide to lift weights, for fuck's sake remember to train your hands and forearms, otherwise none of it will have any practical benefit.

Yeah, I'm taking a life fitness class where we run/work out 4 days a week.
And then sometimes I take walks on the weekends to work off some of the extra pounds.
Thanks for the advice on my arms, I'll remember that.

But I'd say if you're 15, just don't sweat the ladies too much. This is something that you'll be painfully aware of a few years from now, but at this age, you and everyone around you is an idiot who doesn't know how to handle any sort of interpersonal relationship in a reasonable way. If something happens, it happens, but you really don't need to actively pursue it if it's just going to be stressful.

Yeah, it's just stressful because like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS has/has had a boyfriend/girlfriend, and I feel lonely sometimes. I lack the perspective of anything like that because I've never had someone who I could relate to like that, and when people are all over each other and in couples within my friend group, I end up getting kind of left out because everyone's too busy having secks and making out and whatnot with their girlfriend.. Plus the girls I like never like me, and the girls I don't like never like me, and there's probably like ONE creepy unattractive scary mean girl somewhere in our school that kind of has a thing for me, I'm guessing. Cause that's just what happens for me.

Thanks for the advice.

I tried to be more obvious with my sarcasm, but it didn't work. So how can I make the world smarter?

Also, why is it socks disappear in the dryer? I swear I lost 1 every time I do laundry.

What is the secret to rock-hard abs?
Is it better to shave before or after your shower?
What is the best way to do the 20,000 calorie challenge (20,000 calories in one sitting)?
Who won the silver medal in 1936 Olympic 100m dash?
Why do zombies traditionally crave brains?

At 11/2/09 02:17 PM, poxpower wrote: How do I make some Kalkalash?

Give me the REAL recipe.

I thought for sure it was a Klamkalash...

At 11/2/09 07:58 PM, Spaghetti14 wrote: Yeah, it's just stressful because like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS has/has had a boyfriend/girlfriend, and I feel lonely sometimes. I lack the perspective of anything like that because I've never had someone who I could relate to like that, and when people are all over each other and in couples within my friend group, I end up getting kind of left out because everyone's too busy having secks and making out and whatnot with their girlfriend..

Yes, well, teenagers are disgusting. That's a fact you're going to have to live with. Not just now, but for the rest of your life, so long as they're allowed to be visible in public. Shame, really.

Here's something comforting though: In all probability, most of those relationships are based on shitty foundations of trying to achieve some sort of social standing, and they're only held together by the people not wanting to be out of a relationship. You'll see this over the next couple of years as your social group is wracked with catastrophic break-ups.

Oh yeah: Decide now which side you're going to be on in the event of a breakup. In most cases, you can keep one friend of the two of them, but that's it.

Plus the girls I like never like me, and the girls I don't like never like me, and there's probably like ONE creepy unattractive scary mean girl somewhere in our school that kind of has a thing for me, I'm guessing. Cause that's just what happens for me.

Judging by what you've said, you know who the person in the school for you probably is? A quiet girl that you'd have a hard time meeting at a regular party. If there's any clubs at the school that interest you at all, try going to a few meetings and meet people outside of your regular social group. If nothing else, you can at least get in some practice talking to girls. (Note: Don't be creepy, talk to the guys too.)

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to let you in on a litle secret here: For people like you and I, high school isn't really about having fun. It's about suffering, and growing as a person as a result. I know it's difficult to do, but try to make chasing after girls a lower priority, and focus on improving yourself as a person and developing new skills. I'm not saying to avoid girls or anything, by all means, talk to them as much as you want, but don't always have getting a girlfriend at the front of your mind. That was a mistake I made, and in retrospect, it was a poor decision.

Actively attempting to get a girlfriend severely clouds your judgment in finding someone you really like. You start going after anyone who looks good and you think would tolerate you. The best thing to do is talk to girls like you would talk to any of your other friends, and learn about them as a person. When you find someone that shares your ideas, who you're comfortable around, who you can be friends with and have real, meaningful conversations with, that's when you want to pursue.

Yes, at times it'll be difficult, and at times you'll be lonely or depressed or pissed off. But that's what being a teenager is about. Regrettably, it's very hard for me to just give you perspective on your situation, since you're caught right in the middle of it. You'll understand much better when you have your diploma and you're looking back at the train wreck that was high school.

I guess really the best advice I can give you is: Yes things suck. No, things really aren't fair. And yes, it's going to last for what seems like a really long time. But if you work at it and plow through it, things will eventually get better. I sure as hell wasn't dating anyone when I was your age, but now I'm in a great relationship with a girl that I'm moving in with next May.

At 11/2/09 08:03 PM, BrianEtrius wrote: I tried to be more obvious with my sarcasm, but it didn't work. So how can I make the world smarter?

I don't know, go to a somewhat popular internet forum and start giving out advice?

Also, why is it socks disappear in the dryer? I swear I lost 1 every time I do laundry.

Erosion.

At 11/2/09 08:05 PM, Timmy wrote: What is the secret to rock-hard abs?

Climbing! Climbing is the answer to everything. I guess you could do lots of ab exercises if you want to do it the boring way though.

Is it better to shave before or after your shower?

I find before works out best, because then I can wash my face after shaving more easily.

What is the best way to do the 20,000 calorie challenge (20,000 calories in one sitting)?

It depends. If you're willing to do it, you could just chug two and a half liters of olive oil and be done with it.

Who won the silver medal in 1936 Olympic 100m dash?

Ralph Metcalfe, one of the two black dudes who embarrassed Nazi Germany at the 1936 Olympics 100m dash.

Why do zombies traditionally crave brains?

They're high in protein and they're easy to eat even with poor dental hygiene.

Dear Elfer,

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

At 11/2/09 10:25 PM, Elfer wrote: Yes, well, teenagers are disgusting. That's a fact you're going to have to live with. Not just now, but for the rest of your life, so long as they're allowed to be visible in public. Shame, really.

I guess so.. :(

Here's something comforting though: In all probability, most of those relationships are based on shitty foundations of trying to achieve some sort of social standing, and they're only held together by the people not wanting to be out of a relationship. You'll see this over the next couple of years as your social group is wracked with catastrophic break-ups.

Now that I look at it, it seems like some of them are, while a few of them aren't as well. And yeah, I've already witnessed a few of these terrible month-wrecking drama shit-balls.

Oh yeah: Decide now which side you're going to be on in the event of a breakup. In most cases, you can keep one friend of the two of them, but that's it.

I guess it will be depending on the situation, but that's a good idea, I'll have to ponder that..

Judging by what you've said, you know who the person in the school for you probably is? A quiet girl that you'd have a hard time meeting at a regular party. If there's any clubs at the school that interest you at all, try going to a few meetings and meet people outside of your regular social group. If nothing else, you can at least get in some practice talking to girls. (Note: Don't be creepy, talk to the guys too.)

No, that isn't currently happen, but judging from what I've seen, I believe it's happened to me once or twice. It's not a good thing either, it's not someone I'd want to date, even if it was a girlfriend, and they weren't really bad looking or anything either.
At least that perspective lets me know I'm not totally desperate.

Unfortunately, I'm going to have to let you in on a litle secret here: For people like you and I, high school isn't really about having fun. It's about suffering, and growing as a person as a result.

Eegghh, I try to ignore that fact. It's gonna come crashing down for realzzz pretty soon.

I know it's difficult to do, but try to make chasing after girls a lower priority, and focus on improving yourself as a person and developing new skills. I'm not saying to avoid girls or anything, by all means, talk to them as much as you want, but don't always have getting a girlfriend at the front of your mind. That was a mistake I made, and in retrospect, it was a poor decision.
Actively attempting to get a girlfriend severely clouds your judgment in finding someone you really like. You start going after anyone who looks good and you think would tolerate you. The best thing to do is talk to girls like you would talk to any of your other friends, and learn about them as a person. When you find someone that shares your ideas, who you're comfortable around, who you can be friends with and have real, meaningful conversations with, that's when you want to pursue.

Thanks! I don't do that nearly as much as I used to, but it's still a little bit of an issue for me. There was one girl I liked for like 6 months, and I attempted (after several non"dates"but"dates"at-the-same-time) to ask her out, and she said yes, and then changed her mind the next day, because she's a bitch. I guess I'll just have to work up my attractiveness and people skills a little more. I'm not inept though - I go to some parties and people know my name, but I totally agree with what you're saying.

Yes, at times it'll be difficult, and at times you'll be lonely or depressed or pissed off.

Mmmyup.. :/

But that's what being a teenager is about. Regrettably, it's very hard for me to just give you perspective on your situation, since you're caught right in the middle of it. You'll understand much better when you have your diploma and you're looking back at the train wreck that was high school.

Hahaha, I'll remember you then.

I guess really the best advice I can give you is: Yes things suck. No, things really aren't fair. And yes, it's going to last for what seems like a really long time. But if you work at it and plow through it, things will eventually get better. I sure as hell wasn't dating anyone when I was your age, but now I'm in a great relationship with a girl that I'm moving in with next May.

Well congrats man! And listen, I know you do this for everyone cause it's your thread, but thank you so much! You're really a good listener and advice giver.
:D

How do I talk to someone?

I never approach, I'm always on a different wavelength of interests with people so I can't talk about the same things with them, usually. I always end up going into some strange philosophical or outlandish subject and less about who's dating who or whatever. I fully support being yourself, but the people that I can talk to about those subjects usually kind of suck. I'm not only into those things but normal shit too.

How would I go at talking to people? I'm not for changing myself, just wanting to adapt to others.

At 11/2/09 10:47 PM, AlkaSeltzer wrote: Dear Elfer,

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

Would that be an African or a European swallow?

At 11/2/09 10:50 PM, Spaghetti14 wrote: No, that isn't currently happen, but judging from what I've seen, I believe it's happened to me once or twice. It's not a good thing either, it's not someone I'd want to date, even if it was a girlfriend, and they weren't really bad looking or anything either.

Yeah, I know those people. Happened to me too. Good call on not giving in.

D

Cheers dude.

At 11/3/09 01:46 AM, Peacekid wrote: How do I talk to someone?

I fully support being yourself, but the people that I can talk to about those subjects usually kind of suck. I'm not only into those things but normal shit too.

Small talk is an irritating but useful skill. Since you seem to have been cursed with the non-neurotic-but-still-a-thinker personality, there's not going ot be a lot of people you can really talk to. There's going to be a lot of people who are only interested in talking about fluff, and a lot of people who are willing to discuss philosophy, but they're obsessive and serious about it because they think it makes them more refined.

Real people who can actually talk about ideas are pretty few and far between. I've met three of them, the first one was when I was 17. I did meet one person when I was 15, but they were more interested in arguing that their own ideas were right instead of actually thinking about things first.

So I guess what I'm saying is, practice making small talk about stupid stuff. That way you can talk to the rest of the people, even if you can't really relate to them.